My first day of online dating.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I'd like to share my first day of online dating. I have perused the profiles before, but never as a serious prospective single. So, I have literally paid my fee and here's how it went.

 

I put in a WIDE range of women. Kids are OK, as is any height, race, and body type, and education. These things really are OK with me. At least to start.

 

Firstly, I skipped the profiles of the women who are really pretty. This was about 20% or so of the ads. Some of them are well above average and I assume they get a ton of messages. Keep in mind, I'm skipping them for now.

 

I've also (for now) decided to filter by women who make too much $.

 

So, with that gone, I went at it.

 

First profile. OK looking, seems kind of down to Earth. Ok. Maybe some promise. Scrolling, scrolling. Damn. Eliminated by height.

 

2nd profile. Scrolling, scrolling. Not bad. Bam. Eliminated by height.

 

3rd profile. Same.

 

OK. I see how this is going, so I set women's height max to just under mine. Better, but I'm still getting eliminated by height every 2 out of 3 times. Furthermore, when I pass that, I'm getting eliminated by race a good amount of the time.

 

With screening for all that, and not really even screening for looks, just clicking random profiles really, I have maybe 3 out of 50 women who will give me a chance based on height and race alone. Keep in mind, they haven't even seen my picture or read my profile yet.

 

And after that, the 1 in 1,000th women who does accept, we're supposed to have some kind of 'connection' when we meet in person?

 

LMAO. This is gonna be ugly.

Edited November 29, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[Frank2thepoint]

Thanks for the information. Online dating will always be a shopping catalog, where you select someone that looks good on paper, and pretend to know what you really want.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Thanks for the information. Online dating will always be a shopping catalog, where you select someone that looks good on paper, and pretend to know what you really want.

 

I can understand that if you're 25.

 

But all of the women are over 30 and many if not most are divorced with kids.

 

Why do an online shopping list if you're really looking to meet somebody for real? Why be online at all?

 

Anyway, I'm paid up. Might as well start throwing some darts.

[smackie9]

Why are you trying on line dating?

[smackie9]

reasons why people do on line dating:

 

#1 too busy, work odd hours, convenience

#2 demographics ie: not many single in their area

#3 lousy at dating, poor social skills, anxiety issues

[JuneJulySeptember]

Why are you trying on line dating?

 

I really can't think of too many other options at this point. I'm too old for a lot of the traditional scenes. Can you offer some suggestions? Are you M or F?

 

I've barely even gotten to read any profiles. I keep getting eliminated by height and race (mostly height). I knew it would be bad, but I thought more rejection would come at the initial messaging stages.

[Frank2thepoint]

I can understand that if you're 25.

 

But all of the women are over 30 and many if not most are divorced with kids.

 

Why do an online shopping list if you're really looking to meet somebody for real? Why be online at all?

 

reasons why people do on line dating:

 

#1 too busy, work odd hours, convenience

#2 demographics ie: not many single in their area

#3 lousy at dating, poor social skills, anxiety issues

 

I've met women in their 30s and 40s, never been married, no kids, and they use OLD as a crutch. I also know men that use it as such. It's supposed to supplement your dating life, not replace it. But it offers a convenience at the cost of rapport. Interacting with someone in person, you can gauge them much easier, and witness their personality too. But it is time consuming and chaotic. There is no real control. Queue OLD, and it places control at your finger tips, but at the cost of not really getting to know the person's personality.

 

 

I really can't think of too many other options at this point. I'm too old for a lot of the traditional scenes. Can you offer some suggestions? Are you M or F?

 

I've barely even gotten to read any profiles. I keep getting eliminated by height and race (mostly height). I knew it would be bad, but I thought more rejection would come at the initial messaging stages.

 

How old are you? What traditional scenes are you discounting? You can chat up women practically anywhere. Supermarket, malls, work, through friends, meetups, events, etc.. Talk to some female friends you have, or female co-workers. Ask them if they know anyone that is single.

[max5050]

reasons why people do on line dating:

 

#1 too busy, work odd hours, convenience

#2 demographics ie: not many single in their area

#3 lousy at dating, poor social skills, anxiety issues

 

There's lots more reasons than that.

[max5050]

I can understand that if you're 25.

 

But all of the women are over 30 and many if not most are divorced with kids.

 

Why do an online shopping list if you're really looking to meet somebody for real? Why be online at all?

 

Anyway, I'm paid up. Might as well start throwing some darts.

 

Might as well send a sentence or two to them even if you don't meet all their conditions.

[insert_name]

"Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day...."

 

Sounds like you are on match, that site really winds me up because it allows people to literally design their ideal date so depending on the level of detail you can find yourself being filtered out by people who ain't exactly a catch themselves (age, divorce, kids etc). So you are effectively paying money for a service that potentially offers you nothing in return.

 

For my part I pass the height requirements, but I get sifted at the body type stage as I have a thin, runner's physique while all the women are holding out for the athletic body type it seems, which is pretty funny when you see the condition they keep some of their bodies in. I'm sure lots of dudes who have put in many hours down the gym are putting that effort in for the benefit of women who think a bench press is a new fangled way of doing the ironing.

 

But I digress...there really aren't any magic bullets when it comes to meeting people. Meetup.com is probably the best way if your friendship groups are limited. I keep seeing people recommend the library on here so I am going to give that a try, the bonus being that I do a lot of work on a laptop so if all else fails I will have at least got something done in the time that I am there and it's less distracting than being at home.

[JuneJulySeptember]

How old are you? What traditional scenes are you discounting? You can chat up women practically anywhere. Supermarket, malls, work, through friends, meetups, events, etc.. Talk to some female friends you have, or female co-workers. Ask them if they know anyone that is single.

 

I'm essentially 40.

 

If I can't even meet any woman's criteria online, where it's a much less intimidating forum, how is walking up to a woman at a bar or supermarket going to succeed? BTW, I have done the bar scene a lot.

 

BTW, I know it's been mentioned before, but if I were 6 foot tall and white, I'd have qualified for just about every single profile that I've read this morning. As is, I've qualified for almost none. I know it's a dead horse, and one of those just 'sucks to be you' things, but just an observation.

 

Kind of sad that this dog is being put to sleep before it even had a chance to run a lap though.

[deathandtaxes]

Have fun with it! Profiles are fun and all....but if you don't past the looks test, you're sunk. It's just a numbers game.

[Mirages]

so I set women's height max to just under mine. Better, but I'm still getting eliminated by height every 2 out of 3 times

 

Well, can she be 2" taller than you? I think that can work. Height cannot be added to, but "just under mine" can become a bit of a stretch. This is a dating site, not a specification for a fastener on a tank, the spec's can vary due to discretion of either party.

[max5050]

I'm essentially 40.

 

If I can't even meet any woman's criteria online, where it's a much less intimidating forum, how is walking up to a woman at a bar or supermarket going to succeed? BTW, I have done the bar scene a lot.

 

BTW, I know it's been mentioned before, but if I were 6 foot tall and white, I'd have qualified for just about every single profile that I've read this morning. As is, I've qualified for almost none. I know it's a dead horse, and one of those just 'sucks to be you' things, but just an observation.

 

Kind of sad that this dog is being put to sleep before it even had a chance to run a lap though.

The height and race thing are **** excuses. You don't have to meet all their wish list conditions.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well, can she be 2" taller than you? I think that can work. Height cannot be added to, but "just under mine" can become a bit of a stretch. This is a dating site, not a specification for a fastener on a tank, the spec's can vary due to discretion of either party.

 

Of course. But almost every woman has their min. height at least at their height. So, I was get screened out too often. So, I lowered it.

 

The height and race thing are **** excuses. You don't have to meet all their wish list conditions.

 

Do you REALLY think so? Are you a man or a woman? That opens the door some obviously, but are you saying so in your experience, or you're just trying to pep talk me?

[FitChick]

Someone twenty-five years younger emailed me to say I should change my lower range age limit. Didn't stop him from contacting me though. Unless you are specifically blocked you can contact anyone you like.

[max5050]

Of course. But almost every woman has their min. height at least at their height. So, I was get screened out too often. So, I lowered it.

 

 

 

Do you REALLY think so? Are you a man or a woman? That opens the door some obviously, but are you saying so in your experience, or you're just trying to pep talk me?

 

I'm a man and it's my experience. Some hold to their conditions and some don't.

[guest569]

reasons why people do on line dating:

 

#1 too busy, work odd hours, convenience

#2 demographics ie: not many single in their area

#3 lousy at dating, poor social skills, anxiety issues

 

#4 just because they want to see who is out there and meet someone.

[guest569]

Of course. But almost every woman has their min. height at least at their height. So, I was get screened out too often. So, I lowered it.

 

Do you REALLY think so? Are you a man or a woman? That opens the door some obviously, but are you saying so in your experience, or you're just trying to pep talk me?

 

That's bizarre that they are so specific with their height 'requirements'.. what site is this may I ask? 'Connection' yes, this is important. This is just about being comfortable with each other, conversation flows etc. But really, height?

[JuneJulySeptember]

That's bizarre that they are so specific with their height 'requirements'.. what site is this may I ask? 'Connection' yes, this is important. This is just about being comfortable with each other, conversation flows etc. But really, height?

 

It's Match.com.

 

Almost every woman has a requirement of height and race. Unfortunately for me, I'm on the unfavorable side of those. But I knew that's how it would be.

 

What's funny is that I spent all morning just picking out profiles that accepted my race and height (within a few inches) and I just sat down to look at them.

 

And a couple of them were completely, COMPLETELY incompatible with me. Like one woman was so liberal as to be almost a socialist. That's probably why she isn't that picky in terms of looks. Another woman was like a glam, party, club girl who just had no preferences.

 

I just find that so funny that we screen for looks so fastidiously and at the end of the day, what we are left with is completely incompatible on the inside. Of course, I know some people have the luxury of being a lot more picky, but still, it doesn't seem like the smart way to play the game.

Edited November 29, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[chphan]

It's Match.com.

 

Almost every woman has a requirement of height and race. Unfortunately for me, I'm on the unfavorable side of those. But I knew that's how it would be.

 

What's funny is that I spent all morning just picking out profiles that accepted my race and height (within a few inches) and I just sat down to look at them.

 

And a couple of them were completely, COMPLETELY incompatible with me. Like one woman was so liberal as to be almost a socialist. That's probably why she isn't that picky in terms of looks.

 

 

Tell me about it. I've just sign up for Match to just to have a look around first. Match actually list what the females are looking for.

 

From what I gather and this is no joke. 80% of girls want a guy that is 5'10 or taller. We are talking about females that are 5'0 and 5'1 as well wanting guys that tall. lol

 

Here's another kicker. 75% wants a guy who's income in $75,000+ and above. And most of these females don't even list what they make. But looking at their pictures I doubt they even make that much themselves.

80% of them want $50,000+ income and again most of them don't even list what they make themselves. I'm willing to bet that more than half of the females wanting guys that make $50,000 don't even make that much.

 

Are there really that many guys out there that make that much on these dating sites?

 

Race is also a factor. Over 90% prefer white men, even those aren't white females prefer white men.

 

Talk about unrealistic expectations.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Tell me about it. I've just sign up for Match to just to have a look around first. Match actually list what the females are looking for.

 

From what I gather and this is no joke. 80% of girls want a guy that is 5'10 or taller. We are talking about females that are 5'0 and 5'1 as well wanting guys that tall. lol

 

Here's another kicker. 75% wants a guy who's income in $75,000+ and above. And most of these females don't even list what they make. But looking at their pictures I doubt they even make that much themselves.

80% of them want $50,000+ income and again most of them don't even list what they make themselves. I'm willing to bet that more than half of the females wanting guys that make $50,000 don't even make that much.

 

Are there really that many guys out there that make that much on these dating sites?

 

Race is also a factor. Over 90% prefer white men, even those aren't white females prefer white men.

 

Talk about unrealistic expectations.

 

I'm actually not bashing women.

 

I'm just making actual, real-time observations that I do not fit what women want.

 

Actually, if you were 5'9" and white, you would fulfill most of the profiles I've read. And there are a lot of guys who fit that. But I digress.

 

It's frustrating, because I'm really looking for someone I click with. If I just wanted to get married to a warm body, I could do that. So, if I'm only left with 5 out of 1000 women, then what are the chances that any of them will match me compatibility wise?

 

I'd guess slim to none.

[Mangina]

That's bizarre that they are so specific with their height 'requirements'.. what site is this may I ask? 'Connection' yes, this is important. This is just about being comfortable with each other, conversation flows etc. But really, height?

 

I do not like to question people but you just said on another thread that you are one of the unresponsive girls. well im one of the guys that writes to you. how do you know if the conversion flows well if you do not meet or even respond to my message?

[JuneJulySeptember]

A couple of more observations. Did a random search for 20 men versus 20 women out of curiosity.

 

Women care more about race than men. Not really sure why. White women typically wanted either white only, or white/latino. Asian women typically wanted Asian/White.

 

Men really didn't care about race as much. Out of 20 men, 1 guy preferred White/Latina, and then 5 guys preferred this mix which I called, AEFB. Which is basically all women except for black women.

 

Kind of f@cked up. But ironically two of the three black women I found in that sample set only dated white men.

Edited November 29, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[Rejected Rosebud]

I'm sure there are lots of women who are fine with your height and your race, don't concentrate on how many you find who aren't, you might not like them anyway!