My first day of online dating.

[Shining One]

I wonder if this would be different with real world dating, as they might be less likely to be multi dating?

It happens in real world dating too. One of my exes happened to be the 7th girl I approached that night. The first 6 rejected me.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

 

I feel like a 7 most days. A 6 with no makeup and hair up, an 8 if I'm all dolled up.

 

 

 

 

Phoe, 5.5 IS the very middle... and you could go mud wrestling, and end up on the losing end of that, and STILL be way above 5.5 when seeming as if a trip to the hospital is in order. There is no way that you get down to the "6" level at any point short of being on death's doorstep.

 

You are probably in the mid 7's on "most days", and a professional stylist could keep you in the 8's on a routine basis.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Phoe, 5.5 IS the very middle... and you could go mud wrestling, and end up on the losing end of that, and STILL be way above 5.5 when seeming as if a trip to the hospital is in order. There is no way that you get down to the "6" level at any point short of being on death's doorstep.

 

You are probably in the mid 7's on "most days", and a professional stylist could keep you in the 8's on a routine basis.

 

I think Pho is about a 7 to 7.5 too for reference.

 

Which gives you an idea of my scale.

[Phoe]

I think Pho is about a 7 to 7.5 too for reference.

 

Which gives you an idea of my scale.

 

I think probably 99% of people would put me at a 7. It's a normal and realistic number. At my best I'm an 8 at my worst I'm a 6, that's only 2 points difference so, really, from worst to best I don't change much. I pretty much look consistently the same no matter what.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I think probably 99% of people would put me at a 7. It's a normal and realistic number. At my best I'm an 8 at my worst I'm a 6, that's only 2 points difference so, really, from worst to best I don't change much. I pretty much look consistently the same no matter what.

 

It's a good place to be.

 

Most people will be attracted to you and you can live off of your personality.

[FitChick]

I had a girl message me thanking me for stopping by on her OLD profile on POF,you can actually see who stops by your profile,I was going to message her but I assume she'd be like the rest who just ignore me so I made no effort thus why I didn't make 1st contact .What should I do now ?

You're not Ready2DateAgain so remove your profile until you are.

[guest569]

Phoe you're stunning, you're way above a 7. That's you in the photo right?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Men are insulted when your average, basic chick has a list of stupid requirements in order to get a date with them

 

I had a woman basically lie to me about her racial preference. She said, "Thanks for the email, but I only into Latin men, but think we'd have fun hanging out."

She's white. She have something against dating her own race? lol

She never said anything about a racial requirement in her profile.

 

People tend to just make excuses on the fly.

[sillyanswer]

We hear all kinds of women say they want a nice guy, with a sense of humor for a serious relationship, but in reality, many of those perpetually single women who say they want those things are deciding to turn down that guy they say they want in favor of a hot guy who will have sex with them and then ghost.

 

They can't tell whether the nice funny guy will stay for a serious relationship any more than they can tell if the hot guy will up and leave after he gets his wang wet, so to suggest that it's a choice between those two things is a misunderstanding or misrepresentation of the decision being made. It isn't choosing someone who is hot and who will leave, it's choosing someone who is hot (who, incidentally, ends up leaving). It might be a poor decision or it might be a decision later regretted with hindsight, but the women you're talking about who make those decisions aren't telepathic or equipped with precognition.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Phoe you're stunning, you're way above a 7. That's you in the photo right?

 

I think us calling her a 7.5 is a tremendous compliment. That's not chopped liver. A 7.5 means clearly above average.

 

Do all women really need to feel like they're 10s? That explains a lot.

 

I would KILL for a woman to call me a 7.

 

I would also note that doesn't take into account her modest, non-shallow personality. That pushes her up way higher.

Edited December 4, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[Rejected Rosebud]

If you want to try to find a relationship with OLD or any other way you are going to have to take risks, contact the women who appeal to you and see if anything comes of it, if you are concentrating on all your self imposed rules that involve numbers you might as well just give up now. I have a feeling that OP is a guy who spends a lot of time feeling sorry for himself and "less than" is that right OP? Don't blame that on women, get yourself together, man up! The defeated poor me thing is going to stand in your way not the fact that you think you are whatever number.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I have a feeling that OP is a guy who spends a lot of time feeling sorry for himself and "less than" is that right OP? Don't blame that on women, get yourself together, man up! The defeated poor me thing is going to stand in your way not the fact that you think you are whatever number.

 

Oh yea. I admit to being pathetic.

 

Honestly no. My confidence is high a decent amount of the time.

 

I am together and doing something. I have a job and stuck my mug on an online dating site, didn't I?

 

Just making the observations of what happened. If I messaged 15 total cuties that I handpicked and 3 of them winked at me, then I would have responded with an account of that.

Edited December 4, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[Rejected Rosebud]

Just making the observations of what happened. If I messaged 15 total cuties that I handpicked and 3 of them winked at me, then I would have responded with an account of that.

When you are looking at profiles what kind of things make you feel drawn to the women?

[JuneJulySeptember]

When you are looking at profiles what kind of things make you feel drawn to the women?

 

I first go for women where I fit into what they want (which eliminates the vast majority of women).

 

Then, I go through the list and then weed out women who I won't likely click with: princesses, very religious women, extreme intellectuals, etc.

 

Man. Yesterday I saw a profile of a beautiful pretty woman. She was classically pretty, like a 9 or a 10. She could have been a movie star. So, people are saying I should just message her and my odds would be better when I'm already being rejected by women who are average looking with some extra pounds? LMFAO I say.

[Phoe]

Phoe you're stunning, you're way above a 7. That's you in the photo right?

 

I think us calling her a 7.5 is a tremendous compliment. That's not chopped liver. A 7.5 means clearly above average.

 

Do all women really need to feel like they're 10s? That explains a lot.

 

I would KILL for a woman to call me a 7.

 

I would also note that doesn't take into account her modest, non-shallow personality. That pushes her up way higher.

 

No worries, smiley.

 

7 is totally normal and acceptable. It's where I rank myself, it where others rank me, and that tells me that I've got a pretty accurate and realistic sense of self, which is awesome. I don't want some warped perception, Ya know?

 

The only downside to the 7 range, is that I personally think the majority of women in my age bracket are a 7 and above. Like 85-90% of the women in my age bracket that I see out and about on a daily basis, are cute and definitely can be found attractive.

 

It makes it hard to really stand out in some way. I blend right in! I sometimes wonder what would inspire any man to choose me when there a dozen other girls who are just as cute and pleasant right within eyesight. My looks don't stand out, and my personality doesn't stand out. I'm too normal! Which is weird to say because, realistically, I'm weird. Lol.

[insert_name]

I first go for women where I fit into what they want (which eliminates the vast majority of women).

 

Then, I go through the list and then weed out women who I won't likely click with: princesses, very religious women, extreme intellectuals, etc.

 

Man. Yesterday I saw a profile of a beautiful pretty woman. She was classically pretty, like a 9 or a 10. She could have been a movie star. So, people are saying I should just message her and my odds would be better when I'm already being rejected by women who are average looking with some extra pounds? LMFAO I say.

 

The way I see it, I have just as much likelihood of being rejected by girls that I am not so attracted to than ones that I am. So if I am going to be rejected, I would rather be rejected by the attractive ones. I speak from experience there, I've messaged some girls that have had the sort of social status that would be viewed dimly if they applied to a man: low wage, living with parents etc and not had a reply, so from now on I am just going to limit my exposure to the tyoes of girls I can be rejected by.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I first go for women where I fit into what they want (which eliminates the vast majority of women).

 

Then, I go through the list and then weed out women who I won't likely click with: princesses, very religious women, extreme intellectuals, etc.

 

Man. Yesterday I saw a profile of a beautiful pretty woman. She was classically pretty, like a 9 or a 10. She could have been a movie star. So, people are saying I should just message her and my odds would be better when I'm already being rejected by women who are average looking with some extra pounds? LMFAO I say.

 

I think you should step up and message any woman who honestly really appeals to you, I mean if she is totally gorgeous and has a lifestyle that is nothing like yours maybe pass but if she seems like she'd be compatible, go ahead, you never know!! Of course you might be rejected, you just have to get in the mind set that obviously she was not the girl for you or she would have responded, DO NOT let it tell you anything about yourself and mess up your self esteem. Just move on, but this attitude you are showing here is not a good one for success with other people.

[Phoe]

Phoe, I think you are one of the good ones. If guys don't notice you immediately, you should try to meet them in places where they have to get to know you better, and see what about you does stand out. I am the same way. Women don't take one look at me and immediately wanna be with me. After spending a little time with me, they seem to become more and more attracted. I try to put myself into positions where women kinda have to get to know me. It helps!

 

When men get to know me, they Friendzone me. I definitely don't have issues with meeting men or getting to know them. The issue is with getting them to feel inspired about me, romantically.

 

Men often say that they are simple. I find men rather complicated! I can't figure them out, haha. What the heck do they want?!

[guest569]

I think us calling her a 7.5 is a tremendous compliment. That's not chopped liver. A 7.5 means clearly above average.

 

Do all women really need to feel like they're 10s? That explains a lot.

 

I would KILL for a woman to call me a 7.

 

I would also note that doesn't take into account her modest, non-shallow personality. That pushes her up way higher.

 

Thats nice, but I am being completely honest, I'm not trying to provide a compliment or insult anyone for calling her a 7.5. Its my opinion and you have yours, so my point is that the number system may work in your mind but everyone has a different view. I hate to see you miss opportunities because of how you perceive yourself against others.

 

I have extremely low self esteem but i found someone i liked and went for it, yep hes a 10. Nothing to lose.

 

But this argument is obviously pointless so I'm done here, good luck.

Edited December 4, 2014 by smiley1

[Phoe]

I think I am actually pickier than most guys, which is why I was single for a while before I met my GF.

 

I have a hard time figuring out what is even considered "picky" or "not picky", haha. It's hard to figure out a base standard that most men likely expect. Then to go up or down from there into not picky or picky range, just is impossible, since I can't even set a standard!

 

Then take into consideration that I can't even classify what any of the men I know want, I have no idea what their personal expectations are, so then I REALLY can't even decide whether anyone's picky or not.

 

The farthest I've gotten is "I like brunettes" or "I like short Asians" or "I like smart girls" or "I like big boobs" - other than that, I know nothing about what my male friends want in a woman.

 

I've no reference point lol. I'm just so lost

[CaliGypsy]

Men often say that they are simple. I find men rather complicated! I can't figure them out, haha. What the heck do they want?!

 

 

I agree. Men are complicated.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I have a hard time figuring out what is even considered "picky" or "not picky", haha. It's hard to figure out a base standard that most men likely expect. Then to go up or down from there into not picky or picky range, just is impossible, since I can't even set a standard!

 

Then take into consideration that I can't even classify what any of the men I know want, I have no idea what their personal expectations are, so then I REALLY can't even decide whether anyone's picky or not.

 

The farthest I've gotten is "I like brunettes" or "I like short Asians" or "I like smart girls" or "I like big boobs" - other than that, I know nothing about what my male friends want in a woman.

 

I've no reference point lol. I'm just so lost

 

What do men want?

 

To date, or to marry?

 

It's a big difference. Most men that I know/knew (now married and way off the market) would date a wide, wide range of women but were more specific in terms of marriage.

 

It's two separate problems really.

 

The one is trying to attract anybody who will even meet you for a cup of coffee.

 

The second is trying to work towards a relationship that leads to marriage and children.

 

Men are pretty simplistic in terms of attraction. I mean, really, women are too. You just have to have the goods.

[JuneJulySeptember]

The way I see it, I have just as much likelihood of being rejected by girls that I am not so attracted to than ones that I am. So if I am going to be rejected, I would rather be rejected by the attractive ones. I speak from experience there, I've messaged some girls that have had the sort of social status that would be viewed dimly if they applied to a man: low wage, living with parents etc and not had a reply, so from now on I am just going to limit my exposure to the tyoes of girls I can be rejected by.

 

Perhaps. Then it becomes like "Well, I played the lottery for a $100 prize and I played the lottery for 44 million, and I lost both, so what's the difference?"

 

 

I'm actually joking. I don't see women's value like that. I'm trying to get someone to give me a chance.

Edited December 5, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[SincereOnlineGuy]

The only downside to the 7 range, is that I personally think the majority of women in my age bracket are a 7 and above. Like 85-90% of the women in my age bracket that I see out and about on a daily basis, are cute and definitely can be found attractive.

 

It makes it hard to really stand out in some way. I blend right in! I sometimes wonder what would inspire any man to choose me when there a dozen other girls who are just as cute and pleasant right within eyesight. My looks don't stand out, and my personality doesn't stand out. I'm too normal! Which is weird to say because, realistically, I'm weird. Lol.

 

 

 

This is so absurd... you do, surely understand the whole (frat boy) scale there, right???

 

85-90% of no subset of anything can be a "7" on the appearance scale.

 

 

And c'mon, everybody here is rating you based on those somewhat-quirky photos you have posted.

 

If you went all-out, with a professional make-up artist and stylist, you would always be in the 8's somewhere, and as it is, you are likely nearer to 7.9 than to 7.0. (5.5 is the very middle, for heaven's sake)

 

(of course lots of people here on LS are disappointed {in our own special way} that you don't push the envelope here with your photos)

 

The one proving that "Phoe from Loveshack" is real, is internet-priceless, given the ways of the online world.

 

You are plenty viable in the beauty department yet it's still all about meeting LOTS of people !!

[Phoe]

If you went all-out, with a professional make-up artist and stylist, you would always be in the 8's somewhere

 

Just about every woman will look awesome with daily professional styling! But no one does that.

 

An attractiveness level isn't assesed by "what one could be", it's based on how someone looks on a regular basis, day to day