hello234 Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 me and Mm have been low contact, i havent given into sex or anything ... he just went on vacation with a group of friends and its driving mecrazy and ruining my mood daily.. its pissing me off cuz i think, ok here he has me and hes there prolly flirting with the women n checking them out in swim wear.. Ugh.. plus he hasnt called n just sent few texts now n then..maybe cuz i made us into a " friends" level..I m jus frustrated. if i had been Nc now i would have prolly felt better? His bday is day after and same thoughts- y shuould i wish , or be the first in line to wish when hes there celebrating with his friends, those women giving him " bday bumps" and such.. at the same time i dont want it to seem like I am mean and cold hearted, im not . Maybe wish at end of day? i dont want to receive anger from him asking why i didnt wish, altho thatd prolly make me feel better.. hate feeling this way.Wat to do? wish or not wish? Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 me and Mm have been low contact, i havent given into sex or anything ... he just went on vacation with a group of friends and its driving mecrazy and ruining my mood daily.. its pissing me off cuz i think, ok here he has me and hes there prolly flirting with the women n checking them out in swim wear.. Ugh.. plus he hasnt called n just sent few texts now n then..maybe cuz i made us into a " friends" level..I m jus frustrated. if i had been Nc now i would have prolly felt better? His bday is day after and same thoughts- y shuould i wish , or be the first in line to wish when hes there celebrating with his friends, those women giving him " bday bumps" and such.. at the same time i dont want it to seem like I am mean and cold hearted, im not . Maybe wish at end of day? i dont want to receive anger from him asking why i didnt wish, altho thatd prolly make me feel better.. hate feeling this way.Wat to do? wish or not wish? Hello234. Please get a grip on your situation. What are you trying to accomplish about the whole situation? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 ...and could you please avoid text-speak? It's not a phone... and some people have difficulty interpreting what you write. Full correct English, using proper language, is better, here. Many thanks. And no. Do Not contact him. This is a bad idea from the start, isn't it..? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 my response to you on the other thread you posted this on: I don't mean to be harsh, but are you a teenager? Between the way you write (with the text speak) and the whole "is he looking at other girls"....he's a guy - of course he is! You are married. He is married. You won't let go. You aren't friends. You are hoping he will one day "pick you" so you keep letting him treat you like crap. You keep waiting and waiting....letting him know you are there for when he has a minute to text you. STOP allowing this treatment. And no, you don't need to wish him a happy birthday. Seriously? He isn't your friend! He is a man you are cheating on your husband with. Mean and cold hearted? Are you kidding? Are you making these excuses so when you do reach out to him you will feel better about it? You are only in LC with him because that is HIS choice. Not because you are trying to end the affair. If you were trying to end it, there would be NO contact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 You are going to do what you want to do. It doesn't matter what any of us, here, tell you. Honestly, have you done any independent work on your own? Any work on yourself at all? Are you reading? Are you actually trying to think critically about any of this? No! Of course you shouldn't concern yourself with wishing him a happy b-day. Who the hell cares if his wittle feelings get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
lovinDKT3 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I don't think I've ever had a harsh word for anyone in my time here, but you really need to grow up and start acting like your someones mother. Your behavior is really unhealthy, your obsession with this man is going to ruin your life, damage your child and marriage beyond repair. No way you have much energy left for them. This is sad, your a married woman obsessing about a married man (not your husband) looking at other women. Just really sad. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Versailles Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I don't think you should bother texting him at all. Why would he be away from you on his birthday in the first place? Shouldn't he have reserved his birthday celebration to be with you? Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 You are looking for any excuse to contact him. Today is his Birthday, tomorrow it will be because his favorite show is on. Go ahead contact him. You have some kind of need for unhealthy drama. You know nobody with any compassion for your H or any self respect (no matter how weak) is going to seriously tell you to contact him. You don't want to say Happy Birthday because you don't want to appear mean and cold, you want to say it because it is an excuse to start up the A again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 No. DO not text him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I don't think you should bother texting him at all. Why would he be away from you on his birthday in the first place? Shouldn't he have reserved his birthday celebration to be with you? ???? He is married to someone else. Why would he reserve his bday celebrations for his mistress?? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 ???? He is married to someone else. Why would he reserve his bday celebrations for his mistress?? And I'll add, hello is married as well.. Hello, you need to get some control back, this isn't love, it's beyond unhealthy obsession, it's affecting your life in a really bad way. Please get counseling to help you get over this MM. Link to post Share on other sites
Versailles Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Maybe it's just me, but I would think that if the MM loves her, he would want to spend his birthday with her? Why would anyone not want to spend their birthday with someone they love? ???? He is married to someone else. Why would he reserve his bday celebrations for his mistress?? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Maybe it's just me, but I would think that if the MM loves her, he would want to spend his birthday with her? Why would anyone not want to spend their birthday with someone they love? The answer lies in the question. Because he therefore can't actually love her, then, can he? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GollumsNightmare Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I am not reading one more of your posts. You do not want help. You just want to wallow in your muck and blog about your mm. :sick: It seems as if you don't listen to any of the advice you are ever given, your posts are just incessant whining. Grow the hell up. Be an independent woman you can be proud of. If you can't respect your husband, get a divorce. Spend the time you obsess about your mm on something more important - like your KID! Get a grip. Get a life. Get a counselor. Get a Dr's appointment. Get a friend in real life who will tell you the truth you need to hear. Get away from the mm and figure out the rest of your life. You will feel so much better... 7 Link to post Share on other sites
FusionCutter Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I just don't understand what you hope to accomplish with this MM. Can you explain? My thoughts upon reading every new thing you post here: Ugh! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 OMG, I failed to see that....of course....it's her.....! Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Maybe it's just me, but I would think that if the MM loves her, he would want to spend his birthday with her? Why would anyone not want to spend their birthday with someone they love? It must just be you..if you have read any of her numerous posts, she is obsessed with the MM..all her thoughts and actions revolve around him...not her H nor her child! And this MM doesn't love her...he has many OW, and a wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Versailles Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Hi jellybean, just to clarify, I don't have a child.. I only wish I did.. Umm and my MM doesn't have other OW.. Yes there have always been women trying to attract his attention every now and then but he has also always ignored them.. And sorry, back to hello's thread... No, do not text him since he didn't even bother to reserve celebrating his birthday with you. Link to post Share on other sites
prettyeyes87 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Do not wish him happy birthday. Trust me when I say he is not concerned about you wishing him happy birthday. This is something that is supposed to be so simple, so carefree, to wish someone you care for a happy birthday but it's NOT. That's the reality and it sucks. You are putting all this energy into should I or shouldn't I ? Not even realizing that he isn't that hung up on it. He is on vacation, oogling other girls so you say. If he hears from you on his bday...he thinks "cool", if he doesn't hear from you on his bday...he thinks "cool". That is how simple a friendship is supposed to be. If you can't text him without overthinking then just don't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Hi jellybean, just to clarify, I don't have a child.. I only wish I did.. Umm and my MM doesn't have other OW.. Yes there have always been women trying to attract his attention every now and then but he has also always ignored them.. And sorry, back to hello's thread... No, do not text him since he didn't even bother to reserve celebrating his birthday with you. Versailles, jellybean wasn't talking about you. She was explaining the OP's (hello's) situation to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hello234 Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 Well i dont know why i even need to clarify this, but FYI, its not like we were nc n i wanna now wish him.. Heck 'no, if we had been NC, i would never contact him first.. we are minimal contact and his friends planned this trip for ThnxGiving so he wanted to to join.. He said me n him would " celebrate" as friends when he got back.. ( if thats gonna happen or no is another topic) but ya, i never expected him to neglect his vacay n stay back.. Just FYI. I guess I will just casually wish HPBday at the end of the day, nothing special ... as we are still on talking terms. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Yes dear. You're selectively deaf, we get that. Any advice to kick this guy to the kerb, block him completely, eliminate him from your life, and focus on your Husband, and him alone, just falls on deaf ears... I SAID - ANY ADVICE TO KICK THIS GUY TO THE KERB, BLOCK HIM COMPLETELY, ELIMINATE HIM FROM YOUR LIFE, AND FOCUS ON YOUR HUSBAND, AND HIM ALONE, JUST FALLS ON DEAF EARS...!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 ....And will you please quit with the damned text-speak!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sunburned Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Yes dear. You're selectively deaf, we get that. I love this, though "selectively" may be generous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Deleted. Why bother. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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