I want her back..my self esteem is in the hole

[losinghope87]

When am I going to stop thinking about her as soon as I wake up?

 

I always have really depressing images of her with her new man...

[IfiKnewThen]

yeah, that is horrible. i go thru that too. youre not alone. must of us feel anxious when coming to in the morning and realizing they are gone...or imagining the worst.

 

 

do u game at all..that involves others on the computer..or go to a church, where u can meet people? anything? even if u dont drink.....(its better) maybe you can be the designated driver and still get out somehow.

 

but u have to tell yourself its over....even if there could be hope. just so u can begin to wrap your head around it. you have to take her off the pedestal too. she sounds like she was work

[losinghope87]

You caught me, I've been playing WoW trying to keep my mind off things for now, but I quit my job and have been slacking at school because I was so depressed for some time.

 

I really just hope this depression passes and I can move on with my life...This pain is definitely not worth it.

[chados]

You caught me, I've been playing WoW trying to keep my mind off things for now, but I quit my job and have been slacking at school because I was so depressed for some time.

 

I really just hope this depression passes and I can move on with my life...This pain is definitely not worth it.

 

 

 

this might not help but im gonna tell you it anyway.. when time comes and you find someone else that you like talking to, chances are extremly high that you will stop thinking about her and think about how she lost hope in you. how she didnt want to be with you and even if she comes back you probably wont take her back.

 

 

ive been through this before. first weeks i always want to just get back but then i tend to meet someone i really enjoy talking to. i stop using facebook and things like that. i completly ignore the fact that she can move on. i know that she will always call me if she wants anything. and well as time goes by i sometimes still care for the person but i cant forget about how she treated me when it ended. i will forgive her and even if i love her good sides i dont see myself getting back together anytime soon and maybe i never will.

 

 

why would i take someone back who didnt believe in me? i dont know if ill ever get back with a person like that but at least im not worried about it. i know there are people in this world that would appreciate me even during the worst of times. it would take a lot of work from her to make me think otherwise.

[losinghope87]

this might not help but im gonna tell you it anyway.. when time comes and you find someone else that you like talking to, chances are extremly high that you will stop thinking about her and think about how she lost hope in you. how she didnt want to be with you and even if she comes back you probably wont take her back.

 

 

ive been through this before. first weeks i always want to just get back but then i tend to meet someone i really enjoy talking to. i stop using facebook and things like that. i completly ignore the fact that she can move on. i know that she will always call me if she wants anything. and well as time goes by i sometimes still care for the person but i cant forget about how she treated me when it ended. i will forgive her and even if i love her good sides i dont see myself getting back together anytime soon and maybe i never will.

 

 

why would i take someone back who didnt believe in me? i dont know if ill ever get back with a person like that but at least im not worried about it. i know there are people in this world that would appreciate me even during the worst of times. it would take a lot of work from her to make me think otherwise.

 

You're so very right, and if I weren't in such an emotionally unstable mindset, then it would be extremely easy for me to realize this; however, I am just really lonely right now and anytime I see a picture of either of them through my mutual friends, it makes me dip even further into depression.

 

Sometimes I'm just completely fine and then there are times when I just feel as though my world is gonna end.

 

I guess I'm just in complete shock that someone I thought loved me unconditionally could leave me and transfer feelings elsewhere so easily.

 

I feel jaded and also feel as though I'll never lower my guard and make myself vulnerable like that ever again so that I don't have to repeat this process.

[dumbass2]

"I feel jaded and also feel as though I'll never lower my guard and make myself vulnerable like that ever again so that I don't have to repeat this process."

 

Don't let yourself feel this way. You loved her and it feels great to be able to love someone. I found I got more out of that with my ex then I did in looking for it in return. Loving her made me happiest. Of course we would all like to know that we were loved back and I'm sure they do, but in the end you only control yourself and I'll tell you one thing, there is no better feeling then being in love with someone. I want to have that feeling again, but I can only control what I feel and not my partner. I will take that risk again. Falling in love is letting your guard down and giving yourself to someone, but you also must have your logic side right in there with you to keep you in check. Learn from mistakes from the past, but don't go looking for them in your next relationship and don't let the feelings that you have now keep you from being able to fully love someone again.

[chados]

You're so very right, and if I weren't in such an emotionally unstable mindset, then it would be extremely easy for me to realize this; however, I am just really lonely right now and anytime I see a picture of either of them through my mutual friends, it makes me dip even further into depression.

 

Sometimes I'm just completely fine and then there are times when I just feel as though my world is gonna end.

 

I guess I'm just in complete shock that someone I thought loved me unconditionally could leave me and transfer feelings elsewhere so easily.

 

I feel jaded and also feel as though I'll never lower my guard and make myself vulnerable like that ever again so that I don't have to repeat this process.

 

 

1. stop looking at facebook.. if u have to be on facebook which u probably dont then stop subsribing on her page, on her friends page etc.. just stop it...

 

2. you dont know if she transfered her feelings.. shes probably not in love with this guy and he is a rebound. if she however did it didnt happen during a day, its been a process.

 

anyways my advice is to just go on a dating site. heck go talk to people in another country. go travel there and have fun. make a user on shared talk and learn a language.. then youll meet hundreds of people that will talk to you and maybe you can get to know them. trust me its better then any dating site.

[losinghope87]

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys.

 

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it's hard for me to not feel like this when I can easily say this has been the saddest couple months of my life.

 

I've been trying to stay away from social media as best as I can and I have already blocked both of them; however, I still see other people posting pictures of them individually and it sets me back.

 

I just want to be able to wake up in the morning at a normal time and not feel this pain in the pit of my stomach, immediately.

 

Would it be a bad idea to possibly try to pursue another relationship while I am in this state?

[chados]

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys.

 

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it's hard for me to not feel like this when I can easily say this has been the saddest couple months of my life.

 

I've been trying to stay away from social media as best as I can and I have already blocked both of them; however, I still see other people posting pictures of them individually and it sets me back.

 

I just want to be able to wake up in the morning at a normal time and not feel this pain in the pit of my stomach, immediately.

 

Would it be a bad idea to possibly try to pursue another relationship while I am in this state?

 

 

stop looking at facebook. go on each page and unsubscribe, that way you cant see even if you use it.

 

maybe you miss the feeling of not being alone more then the relationship itself?.. go on a date. doesnt mean you have to buy rings. then time will tell what happens.

[losinghope87]

So I guess it's already been established that I'm not going to try and get her back...

 

This is super depressing and any shred of hope would be nice right about now. I dont understand these emotions and I'm having trouble processing them.

 

Why am I okay sometimes and sometimes not? SO FREAKING FRUSTRATING. Woke up depressed as hell today. WHY DOES EVERY MORNING FEEL LIKE TIHS?

 

I just want to sleep in peace and get on with my life. This has been absolute torture.

Edited December 4, 2014 by losinghope87

[chados]

So I guess it's already been established that I'm not going to try and get her back...

 

This is super depressing and any shred of hope would be nice right about now. I dont understand these emotions and I'm having trouble processing them.

 

Why am I okay sometimes and sometimes not? SO FREAKING FRUSTRATING. Woke up depressed as hell today. WHY DOES EVERY MORNING FEEL LIKE TIHS?

 

I just want to sleep in peace and get on with my life. This has been absolute torture.

 

 

 

it happens to everyone, but to me the second time it was much easier. and i also understood what to do and what to not do.

 

nothing i say or do will make you feel better i suppose. and you think that this is a loss for you. well maybe it is for her but not for you.. when time passes you will be okey trust me.

 

just forget about her. the more you progress and she if she can see it. the bigger the chances are she will come back. but dont do it for her but for yourself. this is such a waste of time , go out and have fun. first time for me i was worried she would date someone else. the second time "and this was another girl" i almost hoped she would go out there and make mistakes. a girl that dumps you out of the blue without trying to explain anything to you doesnt deserve you. its her loss.

 

getting together with another guy to fast is probably going to increase the chances of her coming back. i highly doubt the feelins she has are legit. see this as an oppurtunity to be single and have fun. if you trust me that this is more of a feeling of loneliness and to feel abandoned and let down than actual love, you will be fine in no time.

 

cause when we get dumped , all we can see is how good everything was. but it wasnt right?. you must have had some times when you felt she didnt care or she became distant? why do you need that back?. if you can get her, well then you can get someone else like her.

 

 

do yourself a favour. go out and have fun, start talking to other girls. book a trip somewhere. and please dont look at that stupid facebook cause you dont need it. its a website with nothing important on it. chances are she will come back but i can almost promise you that you wont take her back if youve met someone else.

[losinghope87]

it happens to everyone, but to me the second time it was much easier. and i also understood what to do and what to not do.

 

nothing i say or do will make you feel better i suppose. and you think that this is a loss for you. well maybe it is for her but not for you.. when time passes you will be okey trust me.

 

just forget about her. the more you progress and she if she can see it. the bigger the chances are she will come back. but dont do it for her but for yourself. this is such a waste of time , go out and have fun. first time for me i was worried she would date someone else. the second time "and this was another girl" i almost hoped she would go out there and make mistakes. a girl that dumps you out of the blue without trying to explain anything to you doesnt deserve you. its her loss.

 

getting together with another guy to fast is probably going to increase the chances of her coming back. i highly doubt the feelins she has are legit. see this as an oppurtunity to be single and have fun. if you trust me that this is more of a feeling of loneliness and to feel abandoned and let down than actual love, you will be fine in no time.

 

cause when we get dumped , all we can see is how good everything was. but it wasnt right?. you must have had some times when you felt she didnt care or she became distant? why do you need that back?. if you can get her, well then you can get someone else like her.

 

 

do yourself a favour. go out and have fun, start talking to other girls. book a trip somewhere. and please dont look at that stupid facebook cause you dont need it. its a website with nothing important on it. chances are she will come back but i can almost promise you that you wont take her back if youve met someone else.

 

Isn't it weird that logic just does not work on a broken heart?

 

I can understand exactly what you mean and know that you're right and yet, my heart wont let me accept that.

 

It's really weird, considering I never really had all that much fun when I was single and always wanted a meaningful relationship. I think that's why I gave so much into this one and in turn, ended up hurting so much.

 

I want to know that I can find someone better than her that wont leave me for unreasonable reason, really. I don't know if I'm just in denial or has my self-esteem been destroyed that badly?

[chados]

Isn't it weird that logic just does not work on a broken heart?

 

I can understand exactly what you mean and know that you're right and yet, my heart wont let me accept that.

 

It's really weird, considering I never really had all that much fun when I was single and always wanted a meaningful relationship. I think that's why I gave so much into this one and in turn, ended up hurting so much.

 

I want to know that I can find someone better than her that wont leave me for unreasonable reason, really. I don't know if I'm just in denial or has my self-esteem been destroyed that badly?

 

 

 

yes you can, im a living proof of that. i was destroyed after my first real relationship. i learned some important lessons. 1. the relationship wasnt that important to me, i just felt bad being alone and left by someone i cared for. 2. the other relationship was better but much harder to deal with cause of the distance.

 

 

after about 3 months of just waiting for a sign i decided to forget about it and at least try to find someone to date. maybe its early but i felt i didnt have any choice. couldnt go on living like that. well trust me, things changed the moment i met this other person.

[losinghope87]

yes you can, im a living proof of that. i was destroyed after my first real relationship. i learned some important lessons. 1. the relationship wasnt that important to me, i just felt bad being alone and left by someone i cared for. 2. the other relationship was better but much harder to deal with cause of the distance.

 

 

after about 3 months of just waiting for a sign i decided to forget about it and at least try to find someone to date. maybe its early but i felt i didnt have any choice. couldnt go on living like that. well trust me, things changed the moment i met this other person.

 

I think I've now come to the point of giving up. It's only been about 2 weeks since I last talked to her and after thinking about things, I feel that I deserve better than this.

 

Now to find a girl to chase after :/

[chados]

I think I've now come to the point of giving up. It's only been about 2 weeks since I last talked to her and after thinking about things, I feel that I deserve better than this.

 

Now to find a girl to chase after :/

 

 

 

if you mean givning up on her then yes. thats the mentality you need to have. and the more she knows that you are moving on happily the harder it will be to let you go. theres nothing to loose by moving on.

[IfiKnewThen]

i know how you feel about the mornings. they feel so horrible to me. its a chore to get thru each day.

[losinghope87]

i know how you feel about the mornings. they feel so horrible to me. its a chore to get thru each day.

 

Yeah, this is exactly how I feel right now. Every morning sucks really badly, but it gets better throughout the day.

 

It's kinda bad considering I dread going to sleep now..

[IfiKnewThen]

yes i dont know why so many ppl feel like this in the morning..after heartbreak...

 

i think we wake up realizing over and over again its over..or might be. and the finality of it hits us harder then and we panic. seriously i have developed chest pains from it all...

 

as the day goes on we keep busy and try to calm ourselves. once we get the final dialog in our brains that its over, and our hearts catch up with that fact..

 

 

we are still in shock and trauma in the meantime. and its like re-experiencing a broken heart everyday.

 

each new day we feel wear,y of the adjustment in life, we know we are now going have to make since they are not in our lives anymore as we knew it. hang in there. i really KNOW what that feels like and what ur going thru. hugs

Edited December 7, 2014 by IfiKnewThen

[chados]

yes i dont know why so many ppl feel like this in the morning..after heartbreak...

 

i think we wake up realizing over and over again its over..or might be. and the finality of it hits us harder then and we panic. seriously i have developed chest pains from it all...

 

as the day goes on we keep busy and try to calm ourselves. once we get the final dialog in our brains that its over, and our hearts catch up with that fact..

 

 

we are still in shock and trauma in the meantime. and its like re-experiencing a broken heart everyday.

 

each new day we feel wear,y of the adjustment in life, we know we are now going have to make since they are not in our lives anymore as we knew it. hang in there. i really KNOW what that feels like and what ur going thru. hugs

 

 

 

 

the funny thing to me was that the first time when i got absolutely crushed, this with a girl that i had mixed feelings with. to me this was a sign that every heartbreak will be like this, but it hasnt been like that at all. i guess you can say im completely fine right now after a much longer relationship and this after a much shorter time.

 

 

what we have to learn is to never panic, never put any energy on finding out what they are doing, and just know that there are others out there who during the toughest times would stay instead of leaving.

[IfiKnewThen]

quote...and just know that there are others out there who during the toughest times would stay instead of leaving.

 

 

how true this is.....chados

[chados]

quote...and just know that there are others out there who during the toughest times would stay instead of leaving.

 

 

how true this is.....chados

 

 

 

it is true but they are more rare these days:) its gonna be better just dont sit inside waiting for miracles.

[losinghope87]

I honestly don't know where I would be without you guys.

 

These days are honestly feeling much better than before, but I'm just waiting on the day that I just completely forget her and find another nice girl .

 

Thanks for all the support guys, let's all help each other heal to be better people.

[chados]

I honestly don't know where I would be without you guys.

 

These days are honestly feeling much better than before, but I'm just waiting on the day that I just completely forget her and find another nice girl .

 

Thanks for all the support guys, let's all help each other heal to be better people.

 

 

 

glad that youre feeling better, we have our up ups and downs. to me its been about learning to never believe for a second that one person is the only person who can make you happy cause its just not true. i like to move on and find someone else or at least try. makes it easier to deal with the loss, and you feel more ready if they would ever come back to make a decision wether you want them back for real or not. and the same goes to them, they need time to make bad decisions and to feel that they are missing you.

 

and lets be honest, single isnt really as bad as it sounds?. you are completely free to do whatever you want now. use that time to learn from the past and to aknowledge the experience you got from this. makes you a stronger person and most likely it will be easier to solve problems in other relationships. im now happy about the first breakup i experienced.