evanescentworld Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Sorry, SincereOnlineGuy.... ..are you sure you're even reading the same thread....? Your advice makes absolutely no sense at all... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author delilah.baggins Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 Something about this makes no sense at all: Yet while you were so wound-up in assuring us (the reading audience) that you (didn't want any judgment over your having been pregnant, or your abortion)... you then went on to judge your boyfriend based on some other girl having been pregnant. I think you read this wrong. I'm not judging him that he got the other chick pregnant, I was merely saying that it hurt more knowing that they had sex and she got pregnant than if he just had sex with her. The fact that she had to go through what I did without any support and that she was affected emotionally by her abortion doesn't sit well with me. It just adds a whole new layer of deception to it all. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Something about this makes no sense at all: To begin, I don't judge you at all about merely being pregnant (or terminating your pregnancy) recently. Yet while you were so wound-up in assuring us (the reading audience) that you (didn't want any judgment over your having been pregnant, or your abortion)... you then went on to judge your boyfriend based on some other girl having been pregnant. This reads like the whole of society loving to judge only the pregnant teenage girls for their (sexual) behavior. Pregnancy has nothing to do with any of this, so how about you begin to resolve your challenges by factoring-OUT any and all reference to pregnancy??? If you want to contemplate your boyfriend having potentially exposed you to various STD's... then fine... if you want to contemplate his having broken promises/vows to you, then fine. Now you should probably just dump the lying, cheating S.O.B. ... but you probably won't... Yet I think you'll do far better at this if you stop obsessing over pregnancy and return to the realm familiar to many many more thousands of people than the one you describe. (lots of people deal with cheaters - a much smaller percentage have both been pregnant recently, AND found out that the would-be father got another woman pregnant during the same general period) The latter is fodder for a Maury Povich show or something. You need to focus on the every-day part of this, and reduce the dramatic effect in your mind. Keep up to date with the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author delilah.baggins Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 The latter is fodder for a Maury Povich show or something. You need to focus on the every-day part of this, and reduce the dramatic effect in your mind. I was merely trying to hash out my feelings aloud, I'm so sorry you think this is like a Maury show. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 delilah.baggins, focus, dearest. The whole post is entirely skewed. Forget it, don't bother with it. You have more important things to think about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author delilah.baggins Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 He just sent me an angry (and probably drunk) facebook message telling me that if I didn't go and "snoop his ****ing ****" then it would have gone a lot smoother when he "decided" to tell me. So when was he deciding he was going to tell me. He must have impregnated this woman a few weeks back if she already had an abortion (because I know they can't do them too early because it could cause complications) so he expect me to believe that he's been sitting there contemplating telling me for weeks when I've been over at his house almost every night? Please, who is he kidding? And the mere fact that he denied it in the first place leads me to believe he would have never have told me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author delilah.baggins Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 delilah.baggins, focus, dearest. The whole post is entirely skewed. Forget it, don't bother with it. You have more important things to think about. And yes, thanks, I'm just going to ignore that other post. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Please do yourself the huge favour and block him on facebook, and delete any contact details you have.... Block him on your phone... and install a text-blocker app, too. I did, because I also use my phone for work, and I have been getting a lot of 'spam' calls from a specific company apparently desperate to garner my business... I digress.... It works perfectly, and I found a free version, so it shouldn't cost you anything, on a practical level, to eliminate this guy from your life. on an emotional level, well.... why do you think WE'RE here....? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 He just sent me an angry (and probably drunk) facebook message telling me that if I didn't go and "snoop his ****ing ****" then it would have gone a lot smoother when he "decided" to tell me. So when was he deciding he was going to tell me. He must have impregnated this woman a few weeks back if she already had an abortion (because I know they can't do them too early because it could cause complications) so he expect me to believe that he's been sitting there contemplating telling me for weeks when I've been over at his house almost every night? Please, who is he kidding? And the mere fact that he denied it in the first place leads me to believe he would have never have told me. For the mere fact that he thought discussing life & death (pregnancy & abortion) infidelity & your relationship in general via FB tells me this guy is an immature jerk who you are better off without. Him blaming you for his infidelity shows his true colors. He will never change until he grows up but you shouldn't wait around for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author delilah.baggins Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 For the mere fact that he thought discussing life & death (pregnancy & abortion) infidelity & your relationship in general via FB tells me this guy is an immature jerk who you are better off without. Him blaming you for his infidelity shows his true colors. He will never change until he grows up but you shouldn't wait around for that. Yeah, he was telling me after that that he knows that I've "done the same to him" AKA cheated on him and I've never come close. Not even once. The worst was when I was at a bar and an unwanted fellow went in for a kiss and I immediately shoved him away. I know he's just saying this to be mean right now, because he's told me numerous times that he trusts me completely when I go out with my friends without him. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 He just sent me an angry (and probably drunk) facebook message telling me that if I didn't go and "snoop his ****ing ****" then it would have gone a lot smoother when he "decided" to tell me. So when was he deciding he was going to tell me. As if telling any girl, that he got another girl pregnant is ever going to go smooth... Link to post Share on other sites
Author delilah.baggins Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 As if telling any girl, that he got another girl pregnant is ever going to go smooth... BAHAHAHA, my thoughts exactly. What, is he going to turn to me while we're watching TV and say, "Sooo... by the way..." Or perhaps he thought it would be good to bring it up while we were away on a ski trip? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 He just sent me an angry (and probably drunk) facebook message telling me that if I didn't go and "snoop his ****ing ****" then it would have gone a lot smoother when he "decided" to tell me. So when was he deciding he was going to tell me. He must have impregnated this woman a few weeks back if she already had an abortion (because I know they can't do them too early because it could cause complications) so he expect me to believe that he's been sitting there contemplating telling me for weeks when I've been over at his house almost every night? Please, who is he kidding? And the mere fact that he denied it in the first place leads me to believe he would have never have told me. You're right. He was never going to tell you. My ex never told me either. He was forced to tell me b/c someone else threatened to tell me. You really need to block him because he's going to try and reach out and manipulate you... The fact that he's sitting here blaming this entire thing on you is ludicrous. You had suspicions and you did your homework. He's just mad because he was sloppy and careless and you found out. I really hope you tell him to go f.uck himself and then block him everywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Did you leave him? I hope you did, this guys doesn't deserve such an honest loyal gal as you. Somewhere out there is a guy hoping for a non cheating girl, you can go find each other be that wonderful girl to someone who deserves you. Link to post Share on other sites
Haerts Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 The fact that he's sitting here blaming this entire thing on you is ludicrous. You had suspicions and you did your homework. He's just mad because he was sloppy and careless and you found out. I really hope you tell him to go f.uck himself and then block him everywhere. This, exactly. He's trying to cover his mistake by mentioning yours, which in the first place I wouldn't even consider wrong knowing you had the feeling something was up. I got the urge to snoop through my ex's facebook messages after days of feeling neglected. He wasn't cheating on me, but turned out I discovered a bunch of stuff he was doing (including flirting with others) that made me realize it would be better if I ran away before he went a step further and cheated on me or something. So I totally understand you on this. Your situation is far worse though and I can feel how hard it is, but you really need to let him go. Like others said, he cheated on you once (that you know of) and while it's not a rule, he may cheat on you many other times if you decide to stay with him. He didn't care about you in the slightest, that's very clear here. Get out of it as soon as you can and while I know it's hard, avoid thinking about all the things you had planned or had done. Great memories will always stay, but he was very disrespectful to you in the end of the day, so stick to that and move on. Hoping the best for you! Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Your boyfriend is a douchebag who is showing his true colors. Be happy you found all this out about him before you actually married and started a family with him. I hope in the end you're willing to put a fork in this relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 I have confronted him. At first he denied it and asked if this was some big joke, but by then there was no going back. I told him about the facebook messages and he says that he was blacked out drunk and the other girl had to tell him and he felt so guilty about it that he almost shot himself and whatnot. At least it's out in the open now. He says he was going to tell me eventually because he felt so guilty, but I don't know if I can believe that. This feels like some sort of ****ed-up soap opera. Like, is this really my life right now? It feels even more ****ed-up I'm typing this for everyone who wants to to read it, but I guess that's what happens in this day and age now. He only admitted it because you found out. He never was going to confess to you. Sorry that you've been hurt by him. End it with him, he's not worth fighting for....this is his loss, really it is. He let go of a loyal and kind woman by cheating on you, putting your relationship (and sexual health) at risk. Heal well and take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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