help w/ my gurl

[anon]

Hey you all. I have been having some probs with my girlfriend. We have been dating for nearly 6 months. However, there are many probs with our relatinship. First of all, im 15, she's 16, almost 17. I am the first boyfriend she has ever had, or so she says, and she is my 4th girlfriend. She is a 4.0 student, national honor society, out for no extra-curricular activities, but she is totally into her health, eating as good as she can, and exercises for hours every day. I am about a 3.4 GPA student, i run in cross country, and im into health, but nothing like she is. Well, last night is when I have started to notice many new problems. First of all, she told me how she was attracted to a guy on both the movies we got (sebastian from cruel intentions and hannibal from silence of the lambs). We watched cruel intentions, and then when we were done, we started having a conversation. In it, she told me that she knew she could be a lot better to me in our relatinship, but she didn't because she didn't feel like it. Then she told me how there were very few hot guys in her opinion (and im not one of them). After that,we basically spent the rest of night (about 3 hours) trying to get her to orgasm. I tried fingering her, oral sex on her, playing with her, but my tries were to no avail. I did everything that she told me to, she said it felt good, but, she still wouldn't orgasm. She has never had an orgasm before, but she has been masturbating for several years. Then, we had a conversation on the way home, she said she wasn't sure if she had orgasmed before, I told her if she had orgasmed, she would probably know it, so she probably hadn't. Then i called her, and we talked for a while, it was about 1:10 when she called me, we talked for about an hour. While we were on the phone, she had me go to this website, i was in my room (i have web tv in my room) and it was like a sex story web site, and she wanted me to masturbate to it. I did as she wished, and then after about 5 minutes i was done. She then said she had to go, and our night was over. However, some of the things she said to me tonight sort of made me wonder about things. Any advice would be appreciated.... Thanks alot.

 

D

[Victor]

She might be getting sick of you, she might want out of the relationship by treating you poorly. The fact that she's attracted to movie stars is normal. The big problem is the fact that she doesn't feel like treating you better. I'd say get rid of her b/c you deserve better.

[lily (you know)]

hey anon...you know, i don't think it's your responsibility to make your gf orgasm. even though it's just about every guys dream. i mean, you are an awesome person for trying, but unfortunately that's all you can do. i think you have done your part and now you'll just have to give it time. you are only one person and you can only do so much...don't let this thing ruin your life..so don't stress. just have faith!!

Hey you all. I have been having some probs with my girlfriend. We have been dating for nearly 6 months. However, there are many probs with our relatinship. First of all, im 15, she's 16, almost 17. I am the first boyfriend she has ever had, or so she says, and she is my 4th girlfriend. She is a 4.0 student, national honor society, out for no extra-curricular activities, but she is totally into her health, eating as good as she can, and exercises for hours every day. I am about a 3.4 GPA student, i run in cross country, and im into health, but nothing like she is. Well, last night is when I have started to notice many new problems. First of all, she told me how she was attracted to a guy on both the movies we got (sebastian from cruel intentions and hannibal from silence of the lambs). We watched cruel intentions, and then when we were done, we started having a conversation. In it, she told me that she knew she could be a lot better to me in our relatinship, but she didn't because she didn't feel like it. Then she told me how there were very few hot guys in her opinion (and im not one of them). After that,we basically spent the rest of night (about 3 hours) trying to get her to orgasm. I tried fingering her, oral sex on her, playing with her, but my tries were to no avail. I did everything that she told me to, she said it felt good, but, she still wouldn't orgasm. She has never had an orgasm before, but she has been masturbating for several years. Then, we had a conversation on the way home, she said she wasn't sure if she had orgasmed before, I told her if she had orgasmed, she would probably know it, so she probably hadn't. Then i called her, and we talked for a while, it was about 1:10 when she called me, we talked for about an hour. While we were on the phone, she had me go to this website, i was in my room (i have web tv in my room) and it was like a sex story web site, and she wanted me to masturbate to it. I did as she wished, and then after about 5 minutes i was done. She then said she had to go, and our night was over. However, some of the things she said to me tonight sort of made me wonder about things. Any advice would be appreciated.... Thanks alot. D

[Miss Mojo]

i wouldn't be concerned about her attraction to movie stars at all. i was very in love with my ex, and he knew i how i think jude law is a babe. i'm sure there are movie stars and models you are attracted to. i wouldn't worry about her comment that she doesn't think of you as a hot guy either, because she probably sees more to you than just your looks. as for her orgasming - she's young and it takes time to find out how someone else can please you, even if you know how to do it yourself. every girl is different. it's harder for some girls to orgasm than others, but don't take it personally. i don't think it's necessary to always have an orgasm, and it's not a reflection on you.

 

i'd try not to worry too much about your GPA's and health preferences. sometimes it's the little differences in relationships that make it fun and interesting. it gives us opportunities to learn new things and have new experiences.

 

what does concern me is this comment:

 

she told me that she knew she could be a lot better to me in our relatinship, but she didn't because she didn't feel like it.

 

i know you are not going to want to hear this, but when someone really respects another person, and is interested in them and the relationship, they would try very hard to treat someone better if they knew they hadn't. the fact that she is so blase about how she treats you is a big warning sign. to me, it comes across as, "oh, i don't care one way or the other about it, and about putting any effort into things". that's pretty slack in my opinion.

 

it's hard to not wonder if she's trying to give you a hint that she doesn't want a relationship anymore with all these comments that almost seemed designed to get to you.

 

if it were me, i would come straight out and ask her does she still want to be in a relationship. it's hard for me to say when i don't know either of you, but you really do need to know where you stand and what she is *honestly* thinking about the two of you, so you don't tear yourself up about things.