Crush on a waitress.

[E-Squared]

For a while, I've had a crush on a waitress. Here are some things that I should explain before we go any further.

 

1. I am well aware that women in the workplace, whether it's retail or at restaurants, get hit on by male customers.

 

2. I am certain that plenty of women in the workplace have even dealt with creepy customers.

 

3. I am also aware that sometimes male customers can get the wrong idea about how "flirty" a female employee can be

 

Here is what I want to talk about. For a while, I've had a crush on a waitress at a diner that I often go to. She is a nice girl and I should mention that I have made friendly small-talk with her. Not just at the restaurant, but also at school because I have ran into her a few times over there.

 

When I go there with my dad, there have been times when she served for us. A lot of the time, because I am such a respectful customer, I just maintain focus on other things and even when I get my food, I still focus on other stuff. My dad knows that I have a thing for her and has even tried asking me if I had ever considered trying to ask her if she wants to hang out. I told him that I would like to but when I see her, she is on the clock and on the go. She is often busy serving for other patrons, which is okay.

 

About a month ago, she served for us again, and I behaved the same way like I always do. My dad told me that she got rather smiley with me when I gave her my order and when she was serving for me. I told him that maybe it was probably her customer service skills, but then he said "I don't know, it seemed kind of different to me. Maybe she knows that you're sweet on her."

 

I really do want to get to know her on a more personal level and like I said before, I have talked to her outside of her workplace in the past. I will admit that I have dated a person in which I was a customer and she was an employee. She was a transit bus driver and I was a passenger. We had talked when she drove a route in the past and at some point, we gave each other contact information. We even dated a little bit, but it didn't last, but we still remain on good terms, though. It ended amicably.

 

I am just curious about this. That's all.

[elaine567]

I will admit that I have dated a person in which I was a customer and she was an employee. She was a transit bus driver and I was a passenger. We had talked when she drove a route in the past and at some point, we gave each other contact information. We even dated a little bit, but it didn't last, but we still remain on good terms, though. It ended amicably.

I that the one you wanted to send a F**k off rant to, and you called a b*tch earlier today?

[E-Squared]

I that the one you wanted to send a F**k off rant to, and you called a b*tch earlier today?

 

No, it's not her, and I was just dwelling on something that I still sometimes feel hurt about when I know that I shouldn't.

[d0nnivain]

The next time you see her outside of her work place, ask for her # & then ask her for a date. You will never know if you don't ask.

[E-Squared]

The next time you see her outside of her work place, ask for her # & then ask her for a date. You will never know if you don't ask.

 

Perhaps. I suppose, but of course I don't see her that much outside of her workplace. I mostly see her when she is working.

[d0nnivain]

You have a greater chance of her saying yes if you ask outside of her work.

[E-Squared]

True that.

[TheyCallMeOx]

I asked a waitress out. It was late at night, wasn't too many customers, so I pulled her aside when she wasn't busy (this was after my friend and I paid for our food and seemingly left), and asked her out. She gave me her phone number, found out she had a kid over the phone, and haven't talked to her since.

 

Don't ask her out during rush hour, but try to get her when she's not busy. You'll never know until you try.

[Ready2DateAgain]

I asked a waitress out. It was late at night, wasn't too many customers, so I pulled her aside when she wasn't busy (this was after my friend and I paid for our food and seemingly left), and asked her out. She gave me her phone number, found out she had a kid over the phone, and haven't talked to her since.

 

Don't ask her out during rush hour, but try to get her when she's not busy. You'll never know until you try.

 

dude that's messed up on you ,if you are interested in her be with her don't let a kid get in the pic,for all we know she can be the best thing to ever happens to you

[TheyCallMeOx]

dude that's messed up on you ,if you are interested in her be with her don't let a kid get in the pic,for all we know she can be the best thing to ever happens to you

 

Well, she also was a social drinker. I don't tolerate social drinkers. I get what you're saying, though. At the end of the day, deal-breakers are deal-breakers.

[Ready2DateAgain]

Well, she also was a social drinker. I don't tolerate social drinkers. I get what you're saying, though. At the end of the day, deal-breakers are deal-breakers.

 

social drinker? you mean a woman who will drink and socialize with you on a date?! or a full blown alcoholic ?

[TheyCallMeOx]

social drinker? you mean a woman who will drink and socialize with you on a date?! or a full blown alcoholic ?

 

I mean a woman who drinks socially; hence "social drinker." A full-blown alcoholic, especially. You damn right, my friend.

[E-Squared]

Personally, I wouldn't let the kid be a problematic factor. I don't mind if a woman has a kid, or kids for that matter. The bus driver who I dated had a son.

 

I don't think the waitress who I like has a child, by the way. Like I said, I've spoken to her outside of her job before and she didn't imply anything about children. Of course, I could be wrong.

[elaine567]

Urban Dictionary: Social Drinker - And that's a deal breaker???

[TheyCallMeOx]

Urban Dictionary: Social Drinker - And that's a deal breaker???

 

I don't want to hijack OP's thread, so if you'd like to discuss more about why social drinking is a deal-breaker for me, you're more than welcome to PM me.

[E-Squared]

Some people have told me that women in the workplace, whether it's in retail or restaurants, get hit on and it doesn't surprise that does happen. However, is it ever possible if a woman on the job is actually attracted to a customer? I don't want to think of it like the music video of Alicia Keys's "You Don't Know My Name," but it can possibly happen.

 

Not saying that I think this girl likes me, but of course, there are also creepy customers who may put female employees through a hard time, like the guys making creepy comments or staring at them. None of which I do.

[preraph]

You are doing the right thing by not hitting on her at work. It makes it awkward. Male and female servers get hit on constantly and it's that attitude that leaving a tip makes them fair game that makes them resent it. So as Donnivain said, ask outside of work. Behave yourself at the restaurant as you have been doing and leave big tips and just be very polite and respectful. It's perfectly fine to call her by name or even ask for her to be your server. It takes time to build a relationship with servers, whether friendship or romantic. Give maximum respect because they are used to a lot of people looking down on their profession. They make more money than I do, I'm pretty sure, for far fewer hours of work.

 

On a personal note, just yesterday a friendly and fascinating server I've overtipped for years and been chatty with, now promoted to catering manager, gave me her number because she's shopping for homes in my area and comp'd my meal as well. I'm hoping we can take the friendship into the personal arena, but I'll follow her lead.

 

On the other foot, at the same place a decade ago, long before she was there, I had a male server take my friendliness too seriously (and he's married with 5 kids) and get really intrusive, so yes, it can sometimes get out of hand and if you're not made of steel, you'll have to give up your favorite place to get avoid it. Fortunately, I am made of steel and know how to bribe hostesses, because he's still there and still a bit of a pest.

 

Bottom line, servers know if you by some chance end up being a pain, you can complain on them to their bosses, so you have to really show you're trustworthy and won't go haywire if you, say, go out and then decide not to ever again.

[E-Squared]

You are doing the right thing by not hitting on her at work. It makes it awkward. Male and female servers get hit on constantly and it's that attitude that leaving a tip makes them fair game that makes them resent it. So as Donnivain said, ask outside of work. Behave yourself at the restaurant as you have been doing and leave big tips and just be very polite and respectful. It's perfectly fine to call her by name or even ask for her to be your server. It takes time to build a relationship with servers, whether friendship or romantic. Give maximum respect because they are used to a lot of people looking down on their profession. They make more money than I do, I'm pretty sure, for far fewer hours of work.

 

On a personal note, just yesterday a friendly and fascinating server I've overtipped for years and been chatty with, now promoted to catering manager, gave me her number because she's shopping for homes in my area and comp'd my meal as well. I'm hoping we can take the friendship into the personal arena, but I'll follow her lead.

 

On the other foot, at the same place a decade ago, long before she was there, I had a male server take my friendliness too seriously (and he's married with 5 kids) and get really intrusive, so yes, it can sometimes get out of hand and if you're not made of steel, you'll have to give up your favorite place to get avoid it. Fortunately, I am made of steel and know how to bribe hostesses, because he's still there and still a bit of a pest.

 

Bottom line, servers know if you by some chance end up being a pain, you can complain on them to their bosses, so you have to really show you're trustworthy and won't go haywire if you, say, go out and then decide not to ever again.

 

I'm glad that you're saying that I am doing the right thing. Here is an article that I have read many times that really talks about customers crossing the line, and from the looks of things depicted, the customer was a total creep.

 

By the way, for those wondering about the music video of that Alicia Keys song, "You Don't Know My Name,"

to see what I meant. Not that I think that my favorite server is like this. My dad was the one who told me that she was smiling at me, but I tried to think of it as maybe it was her doing her job, but there's also a different perspective. I try to be calm and courteous as much as possible. Though she has actually said hello to me many times on her own volition. Edited December 7, 2014 by E-Squared

[preraph]

Good article. Yes, it's hard to tell when someone in customer service working for tips is just being friendly because it's their job and when they're genuinely being friendly, but if they make any comments about themselves or ask anything personal about you, then I think that is a good indicator. If all they do is talk about food and not add anything extra as far as conversation, maybe not. If your dad saw her stealing a glance at you, though, that is encouraging. But that's why you're doing the right thing not being "over the top" at her work and then just asking her out outside of work.