He had a baby with another woman and didn't tell me about it! I found out on FB

[notaneatfreak]

We live apart from each other but met at work I flew back home after a rough couple of months. I slept with him and we continued to hang out etc. like we had been doing for most of the year and prior to me moving away. It was like we had spent no time apart. He had just gotten back from his home country. I didn't understand why he had gone there 2 times in 6 months. He wouldn't tell me why.

 

I couldn't figure out why on Facebook people were congratulating him on Father's Day when he didn't have a child. I feel so stupid. In November I found pictures of him in his home country holding a baby girl. HE FATHERED A CHILD AND DIDN'T TELL ME! He knocked up some girl in January, by July she was 7 months preggo, and two days after he came back into Canada I was with him. He didn't mention A THING! I found this all out on Facebook months after it happened. He had previously messaged me saying that we would probably have a future together in the New Year and that he missed me.

 

However, on Facebook I found picture after picture of him and his baby and his baby mama. I confronted him on this and he didn't want to talk about it. All of his friends knew about it and nobody cared to mention it to me or his wife whom he is separated from. I am furious. If I knew that he had knocked someone up while he was spending time with me I would have walked out the front door. Instead now I am hurt, have questions, am confused and lost. I asked my friend about it and she said ya, its great they have a child together, they are together!

 

I am like WTF! He's still legally married but separated, he was seeing me and this girl in his home country and has an ex-wife whose still trying to fix their broken marriage. I figured out he cheated on his baby's mama with me in July. I figured he cheated on her with me more than once. I tried to confront him about it numerous times. I angrily sent texts etc. He refused to speak to me. He, in turn, threatened me by calling my mother and had her threaten me if I tried to contact him anymore when he was in fact, actually the one pursuing me.

 

My family thinks I am the one to blame. I am the one in the dark. This is all a complete shock to me. My friends keep saying I can do better than him but when we were together I thought I was.

 

I don't know what else to do about this because I feel completely blindsided and hurt. What do I do? He don't talk to me.

Edited December 1, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[scatterd]

Tell his wife secretly send pictures.Stay away from the creep he has no morals or respect for woman.Let him get triple dumped.If people would call them out on their crap and and then leave them alone maybe they would figure their not all that.I feel for all involved what a creep you and the ow deserve better.Big Hugs I know this hurts

[Realist3]

What do you do? Run away and never look back.

[Dontfindme]

We live apart from each other but met at work I flew back home after a rough couple of months. I slept with him and we continued to hang out etc. like we had been doing for most of the year and prior to me moving away. It was like we had spent no time apart. He had just gotten back from his home country. I didn't understand why he had gone there 2 times in 6 months. He wouldn't tell me why. I couldn't figure out why on Facebook people were congratulating him on Father's Day when he didn't have a child. I feel so stupid. In November I found pictures of him in his home country holding a baby girl. HE FATHERED A CHILD AND DIDN'T TELL ME! He knocked up some girl in January, by July she was 7 months preggo, and two days after he came back into Canada I was with him. He didn't mention A THING! I found this all out on Facebook months after it happened. He had previously messaged me saying that we would probably have a future together in the New Year and that he missed me. However, on Facebook I found picture after picture of him and his baby and his baby mama. I confronted him on this and he didn't want to talk about it. All of his friends knew about it and nobody cared to mention it to me or his wife whom he is separated from. I am furious. If I knew that he had knocked someone up while he was spending time with me I would have walked out the front door. Instead now I am hurt, have questions, am confused and lost. I asked my friend about it and she said ya, its great they have a child together, they are together! I am like WTF! He's still legally married but separated, he was seeing me and this girl in his home country and has an ex-wife whose still trying to fix their broken marriage. I figured out he cheated on his baby's mama with me in July. I figured he cheated on her with me more than once. I tried to confront him about it numerous times. I angrily sent texts etc. He refused to speak to me. He, in turn, threatened me by calling my mother and had her threaten me if I tried to contact him anymore when he was in fact, actually the one pursuing me. My family thinks I am the one to blame. I am the one in the dark. This is all a complete shock to me. My friends keep saying I can do better than him but when we were together I thought I was. I don't know what else to do about this because I feel completely blindsided and hurt. What do I do? He don't talk to me.

 

You can do better. See the bolded. Keep reading that until you believe you can do better.

[whichwayisup]

What do I do? He don't talk to me.

 

Nothing. You let go of him. He is so not worth fighting for. He now has a baby with someone else, you can't compete with that.

 

Sorry he hurt you and I hope you're able to see him for who he is once the hurt goes away and the anger kicks in.

[jellybean89]

What can you do?

 

Leave him alone.

 

He has a wife, a baby mama and you (that you are aware of...could be more OW). you got played, big time. He doesn't want to talk to you. What more is there to say? You know he was with someone else (can't say he cheated on you cause he was cheating on his wife with you). You should be angry...and you should walk away. Stop contacting him. He has a child, a baby mama and a wife. And if you saw on FB that he had a child, then I'm pretty sure his wife has seen it too.

 

He called your mom? How old are you?

[notaneatfreak]

He called my mom because he's a coward and didn't want to face me. I am 30. Trust me I yelled at my mom because she needs to mind her own business and stop listening to his lies. I know I can do better it just really f@#$#@ hurts. No one understands, only apparently people in this thread.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Now you know, so walk out the front door! Don't tell at your mom. You're 30, she doesn't need such drama. Walk away, he had shown you who he is. It's OK to hurt as long as you learn something from it.

[bathtub-row]

I'm sure there's no question in anyone's minds here that you're feeling a lot of pain. But you did ask a very specific question that actually seems like such an astounding thing to ask, that everyone is responding to that.

 

I find it kind of amazing that you would ask. This nut job guy has left you nowhere to turn. You basically have no choice but to walk away. Not many, if anyone, would suggest that you exchange even one more syllable with this guy. So as far as what you should do - run, run, run from this liar and cheater. There is no fix for this, no amount of fancy talking on his part that could ever make you feel good about him, is there? I mean, are there enough roses in the world?

 

On another note, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine how much it must hurt because he has really betrayed you. I think the only upside to this is that you're not the one who had his child. You may not see that as a good thing but, trust me, it is. Please do not allow this guy back into your life. It will be a hard thing to accept but he is not the person you thought he was. I'm really sorry.

[GirlStillStrong]

What do you do?? Are you serious?? You are not seeing clearly, apparently. When a person shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. He is a lying, cheating *******. The answer to your question is you run like hell. Take your anger out in a kickboxing class down at the Y and surround yourself with all of your friends and family.

[TigerLilly78]

The things that stick out to me here are A. you didn't have an issue with him having a wife until he cheated on you both and B. it doesn't sound like anything was made solid other then you slept with him that doesn't automatically make him yours these days im afraid..

[GirlStillStrong]

He called my mom because he's a coward and didn't want to face me. I am 30. Trust me I yelled at my mom because she needs to mind her own business and stop listening to his lies. I know I can do better it just really f@#$#@ hurts. No one understands, only apparently people in this thread.

 

Of course it hurts! You are in love with a person who has a MAJOR character disturbance! And take it from someone who has been with several disturbed people, this guy will NEVER, EVER make you happy. He is NOT the one for you. There is a big lesson in this for you and you need to find what that lesson is.

[howcouldInotknow]

Separated men are always a mess. It honestly doesn't sound like a relationship to me more like FWB and this is probably why he felt he didn't really have to explain anything to you. Either way this is a mess you are the lucky one in this situation. There is no marriage or child binding you to this man. Let the gods be praised

[jellybean89]

He called my mom because he's a coward and didn't want to face me. I am 30. Trust me I yelled at my mom because she needs to mind her own business and stop listening to his lies. I know I can do better it just really f@#$#@ hurts. No one understands, only apparently people in this thread.

 

Why in the world would you yell at your mom? HE called her; not the other way around.

[CarrieT]

What do I do? He don't talk to me.

He won't talk to you AT ALL? Or just about the baby?

 

If At All, count your blessings!!!!!

 

 

You do not need this person in your life at all. Break up with him, go No Contact and don't look back.

[notaneatfreak]

He was already separated from his wife when we were seeing each other