I feel like a terrible person

[polaske93]

Yesterday I received a message from a buddies wife. She confessed that he cheats on her all the time, and asked if all men cheat. I told her I don't cheat, and never have. We started talking for a while and she told me he is verbally very abusive as well. Me and this girl actually have a past, and we dated before I knew this friend. It wasn't long o very serious, but there has always been a mutual attraction. We continue talking and I told her I think it's best if she leaves the relationship. Today rolls around, and we have been texting all day. Now it's starting to get into our past, and now she is getting very flirty with me. I believe that she is pretty much using me right now for whatever reason. That's fine with me, but now I'm starting to get a little flirty back.. I feel terrible, I mean me and this guy aren't very close anymore. Actually haven't spoken in a year or two. The only thing really keeping me from ever seeing something with her. Is the fact that they have a 2 year old daughter together. We also are very young, I'm 21 and she is only 20. When we were dating I was very into this girl. And it feels nice to speak to someone all day, and even get a little flirty since I also just got out of a terrible relationship. I have been griegrieving over my ex for a couple months now. And since speaking to my buddy's wife, I haven't thought of my ex until I started writing this. Am I an *******? Should I just stop contact?

[DKT3]

Yeah, just stop. You know what happens when you get involved with a cheating wife? Your getting involved with a woman that will cheat on you. Don't allow your ego to trick you into thinking its special and she would never cheat on you because you will treat her better.

 

Forget her, I promise there is far more BAD then good in this situation.

[Haerts]

Yes, you're acting like an *******. However, you haven't crossed the line yet, so you can and should stop before you actually become one. They're married, you're using her as a rebound and she's using you to make up for her husband's bad behavior. There's even a lil girl involved. Honestly I can't see anything good coming out of this. Get away before it's too late.

[JS84]

You need to be careful. You don't even know if she's telling the truth or exaggerating her marital situation. You're only getting one side of the story. And she can't be completely innocent herself if she's a married woman flirting with her ex-boyfriend.

 

If she's having trouble in her marriage she can either try to work on it or divorce. Her flirting and unloading on you certainly isn't helping her marriage, although it might be giving her a bit of an ego boost and a rush of endorphins (same goes for you). My suggestion is to stop talking to her about her marriage, stop flirting, and get your head about you. Actually I'd cut down communication with her considerably.

[NateGrey]

So she is having trouble at home and decides to go to an old boyfriend(you) to cheat? Yep, classy. Why do you even want this girl?

[Diezel]

Ewwwww, she sounds trifling.

 

She's telling you all this "pity me" story for a reason and it's working.

[d0nnivain]

This lady needs a friend. To some extent the flirting is crossing a line because you are fulfilling a need that should be met by her husband.

 

If you can't control yourself NOT to flirt, curtail contact. If you can be her buddy & absolutely nothing more you can continue to talk to her & be supportive.

 

Realize that her husband may want to punch you when he learns that you are encouraging her to leave. Better then telling her what to do, ask her Qs about what she wants? What she thinks the outcome will be? How serious the abuse really is, like is it physical or just verbal, & does she need to call the cops?