Any hope for a 50 year old woman to date?

[carhill]

Any hope for a 50 year old woman to date?

 

Sure, around here 50 yo's don't last long, except if they choose to not date. Nearly all in my social circle, except for two, one a widow and the other choosing not to date for the last ten years (she's 60) are either in relationships or married again. My exW, who was 50 when we split up, had a new guy living with her before we got divorced and they're still together nearly five years later, last I talked with her. Easy peasy.

[FitChick]

What are you suggesting, that us older guys are a bunch of couch potato's ... I know a lot of guys my age that are active, and would enjoy a woman who was capable of doing physical stuff like snowmobiling.

Really? Sitting on a machine and riding around is what you call being active? Most older men with motorcycles tend to have big bellies. That's why I prefer younger men who really are active and hike, play tennis, ski, run, cycle, etc.

Edited December 2, 2014 by FitChick

[carhill]

I don't understand why these young men want sex from older women but want to marry younger. Why don't they get their sex and marriage from younger women?

Post-menopausal = bye bye birth control. Some guys like that. Apparently, some women do too (no worries about random pregnancies = more sexually free).

 

IME, if a 50-something woman hasn't beat herself up when younger with unhealthy habits, she'll do just fine dating and mating, probably into her 60's and 70's. I've met some pretty hot 70-somethings in my travels. People vary widely. The OP can be in for some exciting times. Hope she finds them.

[salparadise]

I would like to someday be in a relationship but not sure if possible. I am so very afraid of being hurt again. It will take time. Plus being 50, time is not something that is plentiful.

 

Your chance of finding love again is directly the result of your willingness to take the risk and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Love and pain; joy and sorrow are opposite sides of the same coin. Such is life. That's why it's so important to do your work after a divorce and make yourself ready for the next chapter. Online dating sites are full of nice, but delusional, unavailable souls who construct high walls to protect their hearts, while going through the motions... in hope of finding love without risk.

 

"There's no love without pain." -Irving Stone

 

"being 50, time is not something that is plentiful?" I beg to differ. Sweetie, you're just starting the second half of the show. I kind of specialize in fifty-somethings and I can tell you for certain that attitude is everything. 50ish women who know who they are and have confidence in their value as people, lovers, partakers of life are extremely attractive and in demand. All you really have to do is learn to see your glass as half full, and if that means you have work to do then just get started and get it done.

Edited December 3, 2014 by salparadise

[oldshirt]

Hi, looking for honesty here. Is there any hope for a 5o year old woman to date? I am fun! Like to go hiking, four wheeling, snowmobiling, etc but quite times too. Work in a office on the week days and have fun the weekends. Great sense of humor. Oh, been divorced for 2 years after a 25 year marriage. Any hope in the dating field ?

 

I'd be all over that but I haven't been on a snowmobile in decades, I do have a motorcycle though so if you were ok with going for bike rides during the summer, I'd be willing to learn how to snowmobile. Throw in some kayaking and rappelling with the hiking and we'd be good to go!

 

I'd be glad to go out with a 50 year as long as she was still healthy and fit enough to get out and do active things and still had enough of a libido that it wouldn't be like going out with my Beulah or something.

 

Here's the catch though - I am 50 myself. I am still fit and healthy. I eat right and exercise and I am not obese. I even have a rock solid six-pack. ........ But it's covered up with a couple inches of love handles. You can't see 'em but they're in there LOL. But the bad news is I am shaved bald, the muscles don't ripple anymore and I don't have the stamina and energy I used to.

 

The other catch is I am at a point in my career where I am satisfied and content to go to work, do my job, get the check and then go home and do what I want on my time. I am no longer an ambitious career ladder climber and no longer out to rule the world. I'm not rich and powerful and not even trying to be.

 

And along with that, I have had a 20 year marriage, I'm in the process of raising my kids and I have virtually no intention of even having more kids (the plumbing is disconnected) and I have no intentions of ever supporting another adult again.

 

So my point to all of this is this - I'd love to date an active, healthy, attractive 50 year old. BUT I am also a 50 year old that is starting to feel and show the effects of time.

 

If you look like Demi Moore and can still suck the chrome off the bumper of a Buick, you might still be able to get some 35 year old, buff, corporate executive for a while until you start to really show your age and he turns you in for a 30 year old.

 

But if you are a normal, average 50 year old woman, your prospects are going to be 45-60 year old men that are also in the average, graying/thinning catagory with a bit of a spare tire around the middle.

Edited December 3, 2014 by oldshirt

[oldshirt]

What? I'm 54, and I wouldn't date anyone younger than 48. So...I don't know where you're coming from saying us older guys wouldn't date a 50 year old. I won't go more than 5 years younger. Too many differences in life experiences.

 

I know where you are coming from and feel much the same way. For me though it's not about an age or a number. I would date anyone that was a legal adult over 18.

 

My thing though is I wouldn't have anything to do with someone that is going to want to have kids or a family and be out looking at houses and trying to buy the perfect little family home with the white picket fence etc.

 

I've already done that and I'm not doing it again.

 

Give me a woman with similar life experience, at a similar point in life that is done having babies (or doesn't want them in the first place) and is self-supporting and doesn't expect some guy to support and pay her bills, that just wants to have a partner in crime for companionship to do things with and have some hot, sweaty monkey-sex now and then and I am her man.

[Lostgirl50]

OMG this is so funny ! I am sorry I am so late in responding. I would so date a guy like you. I have not laughed for a while and you have a great way with words! I too wished my mind matched my body, but I am now going to let that slow me down cause it doesn't. I am not interested in 35 year old looking for. Demi Moore - I am definiely not her type and don't want his type. Laughter is what is important now and enjoying life. Spare tires are fine! Again thank you for your post . It made my whole day. Seriously.

[TaraMaiden2]

There's

in the old bottle of Montepulciano d'Abruzzo yet...

[Brigit]

Hi, looking for honesty here. Is there any hope for a 5o year old woman to date? I am fun! Like to go hiking, four wheeling, snowmobiling, etc but quite times too. Work in a office on the week days and have fun the weekends. Great sense of humor. Oh, been divorced for 2 years after a 25 year marriage. Any hope in the dating field ?

 

If you're still hot you can post your pictures on a fitness site and you'll be bombarded with interested men.

 

 

I'm 46. I do look about 32 but I posted my real age and my pictures. Men who are into bodybuilding 18 and up wouldn't leave me alone. (It was awesome )

[Dutchman1]

Dear Lostgirl 50,

Woman like you are a prize to a man, After 45 woman go in second prime, and sure they can have all the attention they seek.

if you are HOT and want to do things, and have a healthy sexdrive, the world could be at your feet.

 

 

Dutchman 1

[Lostgirl50]

Love all the comments. I am n means hot I believe. Going on antidepressants

A year at ( off them for 2 months now) , I put on some weight.

I am not back to working out, putting make up on etc. Caring a lot about my appearance.

At this point I am not hopeful for love but a male friend would be great do do the

Above activites- hiking, four wheeling fishing etc. that would be my wish ! As for sex drive ....always been healthy .... He could not keep up ....ha !

[oldshirt]

Love all the comments. I am n means hot I believe. Going on antidepressants

A year at ( off them for 2 months now) , I put on some weight.

I am not back to working out, putting make up on etc. Caring a lot about my appearance.

At this point I am not hopeful for love but a male friend would be great do do the

Above activites- hiking, four wheeling fishing etc. that would be my wish ! As for sex drive ....always been healthy .... He could not keep up ....ha !

 

One of the great things about turning 50 is you can tell it exactly how it is and you get away with it because people realize you don't give a f**k what they think and know you don't care if they are butthurt about the truth.

 

 

So here's the truth - Guys like hiking and four wheeling and fishing with friends but if they are going to go do that with a "friend" they are going to go do it with their bro's and not some chick who's gonna whine that her hiking boots are giving her blisters and bitch that the four wheeling is jostling her bladder too much and that she hates the smell of fish slime on her hands.

 

 

If a brother is going to take a chick out into the great outdoors and put up with all of that, it's because he's hoping for a blowjob behind a big boulder off the hiking trail or doing it standing up against a sturdy tree.

 

 

So the trick here is not to try to find a "friend" first and put some poor ol' sap into the personal hell of the friendzone right off the bat, but rather find some dude that you could see yourself messing with his Trouser Trout on either the way too or the way home from trout stream and leading off with that.

 

 

In other words you gotta follow the sexual chemistry first. The main thing that attracts guys, is a woman that is sexually attracted to them. If you have a sincere attraction for guy, he'll be glad to take you out in the woods. If you don't have an attraction for some sap and just have him in the friendzone and are just trying to entertaine yourself for a day, he is going to be banging his head into the wall and chasing his tail trying to get you to like him enough to blow him behind the bushes and it's going to make both of you feel uncomfortable and awkward.

 

 

I'm 51 years old, I've built up a whole life of fishing buddies and dudes that want to tear around the countryside in whatever motorized contraption that they dig at the moment. If I'm going to go out with some chick, I want it to be a gal that still finds me attractive and sexy and still wants to get up against me naked at the end of the day (beginning of the day is even better)

 

 

If I have enough scars and belly fat and bald head and wrinkles that means that the only women that might still consider getting me into their beds are women with love handles and stretchmarks and wrinkles themselves then so be it. At this point in my life I'm not going to waste time with women that just want to be entertained and rescued from their boredom and loneliness but some random guy that she feels no chemistry for. I want some gal that wants to feel my body up against her's and wants to wrap her boobs around my d**k.

 

 

If those things are in place, then I am good with going out to movies, dinners, going for hikes, sitting in the hot tub talking about the world and doing all the other normal life things for the other 23 hours of the day.

 

 

I'm fine with doing normal everyday activities with a woman who is a good friend and a good companion, but the thing that makes a special someone special is her having a sexual chemistry and attraction for me and is willing to get down and nasty without having a ton of inhibitions and hang ups about it.

 

 

so bottom line here is don't worry about whether you'll find love so you'll settle for finding friendship. F**k that. Find some dude that makes your jay-jay tingle and that you can picture rubbing your sweaty body against his and then start flirting with him and dropping the I-want-to-ride-you-like-a-big-white-horse signals and maybe even give him flash her and there until he gets it. And if he won't go for it then try his buddy that you think is cute. One of them will go for it.

[susiev]

god I hope so. I'm 46. having the worst luck with men

[salparadise]

So the trick here is not to try to find a "friend" first and put some poor ol' sap into the personal hell of the friend zone... you gotta follow the sexual chemistry first.

 

Amen! Why is it that so many women >50 seem not to get it?

 

I'm past 50 too, and sex is still the primary reason to date. And the one thing that I am not interested in at all is the "friends first" proposition. Women use that phrase in their OLD profiles all the time like it's a selling point or something.

 

Even if the pics are attractive and everything she wrote is great, the "friends first" cliche' gets them nexted instantly. The last thing I want is to be driving a woman around, taking her to restaurants and shows and so on with the caveat' that sex is not on the table for the foreseeable future.

 

It's like they see themselves as demure, virginal debutants advertising their virtue... and the ultimate test for an honorable man is his willingness to forego intimacy and engage in purely platonic activities for some unspecified length of time until she reluctantly agrees to lose her >50 cherry.

 

This shyt is just laughable... ladies, y'all need to be realistic... be sexy if you want to be datable.

[1stloveisacommander]

"Amen! Why is it that so many women >50 seem not to get it?

 

I'm past 50 too, and sex is still the primary reason to date. And the one thing that I am not interested in at all is the "friends first" proposition."

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

This is my 1st post. So bear with me. I don't and never have dated. I don't do casual. But, for those who want to it seems to me the purpose would be to get to know a possible mate, form a comfort level, bond and then whatever comes next have at it. I don't get why there is such a negative connotation associated with a "friends first" proposition.

 

If you are only interested in is the promise of having sex, I have recently become aware that there are places you can go or websites that consenting adults with that common goal to hook up that might meet your needs.

 

However, if you are like a person that would only consider being intimate with a partner that they value, trust and feel respected by then why isn't there any room for "friends first."

 

I don't have a lot of experience with this so I don't want to give the idea that I am trying to be judgmental. Just expressing my opinion. The first thing I thought was that I would never want my daughter to not be given the chance to get to know someone before he expected her to be intimate.

 

I can't believe that an honourable man would rather jump into bed with some woman. I imagine that would make him question her character and therefore what is their relationship based on.

 

But, again, just my opinion and my values.

 

However,

Edited June 25, 2015 by 1stloveisacommander

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Why not? Not all guys focus on flaws like wrinkles & varicose veins. A kind heart, sharp mind and good morals very attractive to me. Know what you want & be open minded. Don't think you have to "act your age" or settle for someone who doesn't deserve you. Go out, have fun & chase guys you're attracted to. You never know, there's plenty of good guys looking for a quality woman.

[misspond]

"Amen! Why is it that so many women >50 seem not to get it?

 

I'm past 50 too, and sex is still the primary reason to date. And the one thing that I am not interested in at all is the "friends first" proposition."

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I don't get why there is such a negative connotation associated with a "friends first" proposition.

 

If you are only interested in is the promise of having sex, I have recently become aware that there are places you can go or websites that consenting adults with that common goal to hook up that might meet your needs.

 

However, if you are like a person that would only consider being intimate with a partner that they value, trust and feel respected by then why isn't there any room for "friends first."

 

 

This is my thought too. At almost 50 I'm not naive, I know sex is going to be a big part of dating and will want it to be if we find each other attractive, but there's absolutely no need to tell me that you're horny in the first half-hour and get pi$$ed off that I haven't whipped my knickers off.

 

In fact it could be described as being less about finding someone to "be friends" with first, (although that never hurts) but more about finding common ground/things to enjoy and laugh about that then lead to confidence with sexual intimacy.

[salparadise]

This is my 1st post. So bear with me. I don't and never have dated. I don't do casual. But, for those who want to it seems to me the purpose would be to get to know a possible mate, form a comfort level, bond and then whatever comes next have at it. I don't get why there is such a negative connotation associated with a "friends first" proposition.

 

If you are only interested in is the promise of having sex, I have recently become aware that there are places you can go or websites that consenting adults with that common goal to hook up that might meet your needs.

 

However, if you are like a person that would only consider being intimate with a partner that they value, trust and feel respected by then why isn't there any room for "friends first."

 

We aren't talking about the same thing at all. Apples and oranges as they say.

 

First off, I said primary reason, not exclusive reason. And nowhere did I even imply that dating was just for casual sex. I'm been on a seven month dry spell and it ain't because I can't figure out how to git some. I turned down a sure thing last weekend because the woman's speech pattern and communication was irksome, and she was otherwise attractive.

 

I do want to get to know someone, develop the bond and so on and so on. I desire a wonderful life partner more than anything else, but... there's no reason to abstain from sex while hoping to find love and commitment. I'm a relationship oriented man, but don't know if I'll ever find the holy grail and in the meantime I'm still a living, breathing human being... and sex, on one level, has a lot in common with breathing.

 

"Friends first" is a purely female term, and I'm hereby calling bull$hit. Any grown woman with half a brain knows that their appeal and relational orientation with men is based in biological sexual attraction. And at >50 there ain't no virgins, unintended pregnancies, optimizing for genetic material, and we have less time and opportunity than we used to... so why all this need for false virtue as if she's a sixteen year old debutante? At this age we're all adults, and sexuality is an inherent part of being a normal, healthy adult human being for both genders.

 

In this context, the word "friends" is being appropriated inappropriately. Friends are people in whom I have no sexual interest and choose to share my life with for purely platonic reasons. In the context of dating all it means is that she expects to be woo'd and pursued for some unknown length of time for the mere possibility that sex might be on the table someday... or not, depending on whether she can round up a better offer in the meantime, or just decides to keep on accepting the free restaurant meals, flowers, gifts, attention, etc. until he catches onto the fact that it ain't never going to happen, or that she's so damn constrained that it was never worth pursuing in the first place.

 

This does not mean I expect first-date sex, or even the first month necessarily. It's fine if we hold off a bit (usually I prefer it) while we develop rapport, increase emotional intimacy, built sexual tension, etc., but this is definitely not what is meant by "friends first." This is dating and developing a romantic connection.

 

Eh, I'm tired of typing... suffice it to say that the use of that term gets them instantly nexted because at the worst it means she's delusional about the nature of male/female relationships, and at best it means that she has shyt for vocabulary.

[wizer]

A year at ( off them for 2 months now) , I put on some weight.

I am not back to working out, putting make up on etc. Caring a lot about my appearance.

At this point I am not hopeful for love but a male friend would be great do do the

Above activites- hiking, four wheeling fishing etc. that would be my wish ! As for sex drive ....always been healthy .... He could not keep up ....ha !

 

You've put on weight, you're not exercising, you haven't been wearing makeup or caring about your appearance.

 

These things make you much less dateable. It's not your age that is going to be the problem. If you want guys to be attracted to you then you've got work to do. If you do nothing but put up a dating profile stating how many things you like to do, and associated with that profile are pictures of an overweight woman who does not care about her appearance, you're not going to get much in the way of responses.

[oldshirt]

"Amen! Why is it that so many women >50 seem not to get it?

 

I'm past 50 too, and sex is still the primary reason to date. And the one thing that I am not interested in at all is the "friends first" proposition."

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

This is my 1st post. So bear with me. I don't and never have dated. I don't do casual. But, for those who want to it seems to me the purpose would be to get to know a possible mate, form a comfort level, bond and then whatever comes next have at it. I don't get why there is such a negative connotation associated with a "friends first" proposition.

 

If you are only interested in is the promise of having sex, I have recently become aware that there are places you can go or websites that consenting adults with that common goal to hook up that might meet your needs.

 

However, if you are like a person that would only consider being intimate with a partner that they value, trust and feel respected by then why isn't there any room for "friends first."

 

I don't have a lot of experience with this so I don't want to give the idea that I am trying to be judgmental. Just expressing my opinion. The first thing I thought was that I would never want my daughter to not be given the chance to get to know someone before he expected her to be intimate.

 

I can't believe that an honourable man would rather jump into bed with some woman. I imagine that would make him question her character and therefore what is their relationship based on.

 

But, again, just my opinion and my values.

 

However,

 

 

I'll see if I can address this in a manner that makes sense. You may not agree with me at the end of the day but I hope I can at least bring some understanding the table.

 

There isn't anything wrong with developing a friendship and rapport and getting to know each other before becoming sexual.

 

However as a man, if I were on the single market, my end goal would be to find a full-service comprehensive relationship that did include desire, attraction, romance and sexuality along with all the other components of a full relationship.

 

The problem as a man is not a lot of women would be attracted to me sexually but many would want to be friends with and enjoy my companionship and other lifestyle amenities that I can provide.

 

I would be OK with forming a bond and rapport prior to sexuality provided there was a sincere attraction and desire for me in place and as long as a full romantic/sexual relationship was in the future.

 

The problem is that form of attraction usually comes relatively early in a dating relationship and if it is not there within a handful of dates it usually will not be there at all and I simply wouldn't be able to waste time and burn daylight with someone that does not desire me or is attracted to me sexually.

 

Spending time, money and energy with someone who doesn't wish a full-service relationship with me would be an impediment to my objectives.

 

Being in the friendzone is worse for a man that being completely alone because the friend zone impedes getting out and finding the right match.

 

It's not that I would have to jump in bed with someone after the first hello, but if there are no clear cut signs of desire or attraction after a few dates, it is time to cut losses and go back to the drawing board.

[oldshirt]

 

It's not that I would have to jump in bed with someone after the first hello, but if there are no clear cut signs of desire or attraction after a few dates, it is time to cut losses and go back to the drawing board.

 

 

I want to highlight this statement for some further clarification because I think it is an important point to make.

 

Sometimes it is not the actual act of sex that is required within the first few weeks but rather the attraction and desire and the potential for sexuality as a component to the relationship.

 

A personal example of mine is years ago I dated a gal for approximately 3 months before we had actual intercourse. However the attraction and desire were quite apparent and the chemistry was clearly there by the end of our second date.

 

We didn't have intercourse for a few months but we're made out like mad dogs and did everything else but intercourse leading up to it.

 

That is fair and that is fine.

 

However if someone just isn't feeling the love or there is a clear lack of chemistry after a few dates, it's time to move on.

 

Hope that makes sense.

[Friskyone4u]

Girl , women are supposedly in their sexual and romantic prime in their 40s and into 50s. It is us men who many times have a hard time keeping up

 

You are still a "spring chicken" . And looks likes with a high energy lifestyle and interesting hobbies and personality

 

Stay out there and do not be discouraged . You will find what you want

[harrybrown]

No time like now to have some fun.

 

There are plenty of guys that would love to date you.

 

Keep your communication open and hope you do find happiness.

 

Be careful, like I tell my granddaughter, but there are some good guys out there. (also some to be avoided)

[misspond]

I want to highlight this statement for some further clarification because I think it is an important point to make.

 

Sometimes it is not the actual act of sex that is required within the first few weeks but rather the attraction and desire and the potential for sexuality as a component to the relationship.

 

A personal example of mine is years ago I dated a gal for approximately 3 months before we had actual intercourse. However the attraction and desire were quite apparent and the chemistry was clearly there by the end of our second date.

 

We didn't have intercourse for a few months but we're made out like mad dogs and did everything else but intercourse leading up to it.

 

That is fair and that is fine.

 

However if someone just isn't feeling the love or there is a clear lack of chemistry after a few dates, it's time to move on.

 

Hope that makes sense.

 

Then we're back to the intangible "chemistry". I would agree that if the initial chemistry isn't there then there's little point in going forward, particularly if two adults have spent some time together in order to work out if there is some chemistry that can develop (because I totally believe that it can develop, as well as be there from the first moment your eyes lock) alongside the conversation and the laughs and the things in common.

[salparadise]

I'll see if I can address this in a manner that makes sense. You may not agree with me at the end of the day but I hope I can at least bring some understanding the table.

 

There isn't anything wrong with developing a friendship and rapport and getting to know each other before becoming sexual.

 

However as a man, if I were on the single market, my end goal would be to find a full-service comprehensive relationship that did include desire, attraction, romance and sexuality along with all the other components of a full relationship.

 

The problem as a man is not a lot of women would be attracted to me sexually but many would want to be friends with and enjoy my companionship and other lifestyle amenities that I can provide.

 

I would be OK with forming a bond and rapport prior to sexuality provided there was a sincere attraction and desire for me in place and as long as a full romantic/sexual relationship was in the future.

 

The problem is that form of attraction usually comes relatively early in a dating relationship and if it is not there within a handful of dates it usually will not be there at all and I simply wouldn't be able to waste time and burn daylight with someone that does not desire me or is attracted to me sexually.

 

Spending time, money and energy with someone who doesn't wish a full-service relationship with me would be an impediment to my objectives.

 

Being in the friendzone is worse for a man that being completely alone because the friend zone impedes getting out and finding the right match.

 

It's not that I would have to jump in bed with someone after the first hello, but if there are no clear cut signs of desire or attraction after a few dates, it is time to cut losses and go back to the drawing board.

 

Well said. Thank you.

 

Of course we want a full-service, comprehensive relationship. Take sex off the table and it's like eh, thanks but no thanks. Probably should pay my sister a visit. Next.

Edited June 25, 2015 by salparadise