Having a very difficult time...

[Pascoe]

Pascoe, if your exGF has strong BPD traits as you suspect, you are playing with fire to keep exposing yourself to her unending dramas. For the protection of yourself and your kids, it would be best to go NC. As you already know so well, a toxic relationship with a BPDer is very addictive and hard to walk away from. It is extremely difficult to give up those intoxicating highs when she was splitting you white, perceiving you to be the white knight who had arrived to save her.

 

Yet, if she is a BPDer, she was not capable of sustaining a husband/wife relationship. Rather, because her emotional development is frozen at the level of a four year old, the relationship you had was essentially a parent/child one. Do you remember the temper tantrum she threw when you went to the Indianapolis race? Like a young child, she truly did expect you to miss the big race just because she couldn't go that year.

 

And here you are once again -- for the thousandth time -- expressing dismay that she has misperceived your intentions toward your exW. Why would you expect anything different??? "Misperception" is her middle name if she is a BPDer. That's why BPD is said to constitute a "thought distortion." The woman's inability to regulate her own emotions -- as occurs with all young children -- distorts her perceptions of your intentions and motivations.

 

Downtown... I thought I was doing everything I could as I have blocked all of her numbers as well as e-mails so that she would have no way of contacting me. She and I are not friends on Facebook and all of my settings are "private". I really don't want to but I guess I have but no choice to "de-friend" those few that are "common friends".

 

It just put me in somewhat of a "tailspin" when I got that call last night. I thought to myself "what the hell? she ends the relationship and tells me to move on". So I begin to by going out with some friends to try to have fun. I am just looking at it from the perspective that had it been me that ended a relationship and told the other person to "move on" that is exactly what I would expect them to do... I know, I should not be looking at this situation in such a "logical" manner and should have learned not to do so by now.

[Itspointless]

I do not know how she would have seen it. My posts on Facebook are not visible to her. She may have gone in through Facebook as one of our common friends. I really don't know...

Ah yes sorry, did not read careful enough.

And why would she feel betrayed? After all, it was her choice to end the relationship and to seek out someone else.

Well her world evolves around her. It doesn't matter what she did. It only matters what you do, or better said what she thinks you do to belittle her, as she is the victim in her play.

[NopeNah]

I really don't want to but I guess I have but no choice to "de-friend" those few that are "common friends".

.

I did this. Got sick of the mutual friends popping up with "likes" with her name attached. I think I deleted over 40 mutual friends. When they asked me I just told them "You know my number if you need anything,I don't want to see her name.". I would delete FB all together, if it weren't for business and family.