Flu and TDAP shot before letting anyone see new baby?

[GH101]

My cousin is due next month and wanted everyone to get the Flu and TDAP shot. I wanted to visit the baby in the hospital and a few times at home before he is old enough to get his shots. However, they told us we could wear masks. We didn't want to get these shots because we don't feel we would see him enough to warrant them. Did you all make sure everyone who went near your newborn had these shots? I think they're mad at us because we didn't get them and have stopped talking to us and inviting us over and the baby isn't here yet.

 

We respect her wishes and rules, but we never heard this before.

[d0nnivain]

She's doing the baby a disservice. This modern insistence on sterile everything prevents babies from building up an immune system.

 

 

While nobody who is actively sick should be around the baby, your cousin is going to extremes.

 

 

It is her child & her right to do as she pleases. I would not get shots just because she thinks its a good idea. But if I didn't abide by her rules I also would expect to not get to see the baby.

[GH101]

That's what we thought too. That babies need germs to build immune system. She claims her hospital is strict and her doctor told her to tell everyone who will see the baby to get the shots. Yea, we're not going to get them because she wants us to. We just won't see the baby I guess. Thanks so much for replying.

[Shepp]

We certainly didn't but then i'e always been on the opinion that a little bit of exposure to the world builds up immunity. And making people wear masks would of been a bit pointless when we live in the woods, have dogs, a cat and everything else under the sun

 

 

But some folk do get a little...OTT..just prior and after their babies born! Hormones and the like! Hang in , don't get offended and there'll soon come back down to earth - kids will be kids after all

[xxoo]

No, I've not heard that one from a new parent yet.

 

But I had my own brand of new parent craziness, and people indulged mine. Just nod, smile, and ask them to please post lots of photos to facebook! Soon enough, that baby will be into everything.

[GH101]

Yea, I never heard this. I understand she's protecting her baby, but I think it's a bit much. I will tell them just post pictures and let us know when you're comfortable for us to visit. Thanks for replying

[rester]

I had this request from a friend once. Some other friends of mine and I agreed that we would not be seeing the baby if these were the requirements.

 

If they had asked us to wear masks I would have been fine with that. I don't remember what happened in the end but I may not have seen the baby for a few months.

[mrs rubble]

That is way OTT!! I'd stay away from the baby if I were you....they'd probably make me wear a full Ebola suit if it were me as I work in a lab, isolating and growing bugs!!

They should be more concerned about superbugs than flu in the hospital setting. I believe US hospitals are way worse than ours for MRSA, ESBL and VRE. Tell them they ought to be more concerned with hand washing than vaccinations.

The mother should also breastfeed to pass on aquired immunity to baby, maybe the mother is planning on bottlefeeding?? Hence their obsession with immunity??

[eye of the storm]

It wouldn't be a problem for me because I maintain all my immunizations.

 

I do it for 2 reasons, I don't want to get any of these things, and to assist with herd immunity.

 

She is doing her best to protect her baby and she is taking advice from her doctor.

 

For all I know there is an outbreak in the area and the doctor wants to err on the side of caution. Or you might live in an area filled with anti-vaxxers and so the child is at extra risk.

 

All new moms are allowed to be a bit "over the top" here and there. But as long as she is not hurting the baby and is following her doctors recommendations, I would either get the shots to see the baby or stay away. But I would not be mad because a new mother is trying her best to protect her child.

[whichwayisup]

My cousin is due next month and wanted everyone to get the Flu and TDAP shot. I wanted to visit the baby in the hospital and a few times at home before he is old enough to get his shots. However, they told us we could wear masks. We didn't want to get these shots because we don't feel we would see him enough to warrant them. Did you all make sure everyone who went near your newborn had these shots? I think they're mad at us because we didn't get them and have stopped talking to us and inviting us over and the baby isn't here yet.

 

We respect her wishes and rules, but we never heard this before.

 

Most people just ask "can you wash your hands before coming in to see the baby", not get flu and TDAP shots. That's excessive and she's being paranoid. Maybe she has healthy anxiety or has OCD, is germaphobic.

 

Does she know that people can still get the flu even if they'd had the shot?

[sweetjasmine]

She is doing her best to protect her baby and she is taking advice from her doctor.

 

For all I know there is an outbreak in the area and the doctor wants to err on the side of caution. Or you might live in an area filled with anti-vaxxers and so the child is at extra risk.

 

Yeah, we don't know what the situation is. There have been serious pertussis outbreaks out west, and if I were living in an area with an outbreak or poor vaccination compliance, you bet I'd be asking people to keep their distance until the baby is old enough to get their first shot, unless they were willing to get a booster. There's a big difference between "germs" and pertussis.

 

It's also not all that unusual to have doctors recommend boosters for family members who are going to have contact with a newborn. It's not an overreaction, IMO. Anyone who's ever heard the sound of whooping cough or seen an infant with a tube up their nose would probably agree. And frequency of contact isn't really the issue. You can hold a baby once for two minutes and infect them if the timing is right.

Edited December 2, 2014 by sweetjasmine

[beatcuff]

My cousin is due next month and wanted everyone to get the Flu and TDAP shot.

 

 

overreaction 101. can't wait until the child enters school.

[sweetjasmine]

Most people just ask "can you wash your hands before coming in to see the baby", not get flu and TDAP shots. That's excessive and she's being paranoid. Maybe she has healthy anxiety or has OCD, is germaphobic.

 

The CDC recommends that family members be up to date on pertussis vaccinations, so I guess the CDC is also paranoid, OCD, and germaphobic.

 

According to the CDC, of the cases in which a source could be found, the source of infection for 80% of infant pertussis cases was a family member. Infants are at highest risk of death from this disease. This is not the common cold we're talking about. And washing your hands isn't necessarily enough. Since it's spread by respiratory droplets, someone who is contagious simply holding the baby and talking could infect it. And since pertussis is often less serious in adults, someone could easily be infectious without even knowing it.

[eye of the storm]

Had my ExH's mom come over when my kids were little. She just had a cough. (is what she said, turns out she lied) I told her to come another time. This was back when they didn't recommend flu shots for very young kids so my son and daughter both were un immunized for the flu, I was worried because I knew she did not maintain her immunizations.

 

I let family pressure tell me that I was over protective, and made me feel stupid. I missed 2 weeks of work because both my kids got a full blown case of the flu. My son even had an ER visit to help his breathing and because his fever got too high.

 

Also, I know a lot of people who blow off CDC recommended vaccines and think nothing of it. Whooping cough can and does kill. Why wouldn't you get the shot?

 

As to the flu, in the military it is a mandatory requirement. Why? not because they are over protective. Because it is very easy to spread and it reduces readiness. TDAP boosters are also now required.

 

I wish more moms protected their children with immunizations and tried to raise awareness that everyone should maintain their shots. They not only protect you, they help protect those around you.

Edited December 2, 2014 by eye of the storm

[GH101]

That is way OTT!! I'd stay away from the baby if I were you....they'd probably make me wear a full Ebola suit if it were me as I work in a lab, isolating and growing bugs!!

They should be more concerned about superbugs than flu in the hospital setting. I believe US hospitals are way worse than ours for MRSA, ESBL and VRE. Tell them they ought to be more concerned with hand washing than vaccinations.

The mother should also breastfeed to pass on aquired immunity to baby, maybe the mother is planning on bottlefeeding?? Hence their obsession with immunity??

 

She breast feeds her babies. This is her second. She didn't have these requirements for her first child because she said the hospital didn't have as many requirements.

[GH101]

Yeah, we don't know what the situation is. There have been serious pertussis outbreaks out west, and if I were living in an area with an outbreak or poor vaccination compliance, you bet I'd be asking people to keep their distance until the baby is old enough to get their first shot, unless they were willing to get a booster. There's a big difference between "germs" and pertussis.

 

It's also not all that unusual to have doctors recommend boosters for family members who are going to have contact with a newborn. It's not an overreaction, IMO. Anyone who's ever heard the sound of whooping cough or seen an infant with a tube up their nose would probably agree. And frequency of contact isn't really the issue. You can hold a baby once for two minutes and infect them if the timing is right.

 

She said there has been a few outbreaks. We live in Philadelphia and she lives in NJ. We all got the shot when we were kids, I was referring to the TDAP booster. I understand its a concern, I just never heard this before. We offered to wear masks or not even hold the baby. She just doesn't want us in the house. We wouldn't go if we had coughs.

[GH101]

Had my ExH's mom come over when my kids were little. She just had a cough. (is what she said, turns out she lied) I told her to come another time. This was back when they didn't recommend flu shots for very young kids so my son and daughter both were un immunized for the flu, I was worried because I knew she did not maintain her immunizations.

 

I let family pressure tell me that I was over protective, and made me feel stupid. I missed 2 weeks of work because both my kids got a full blown case of the flu. My son even had an ER visit to help his breathing and because his fever got too high.

 

Also, I know a lot of people who blow off CDC recommended vaccines and think nothing of it. Whooping cough can and does kill. Why wouldn't you get the shot?

 

As to the flu, in the military it is a mandatory requirement. Why? not because they are over protective. Because it is very easy to spread and it reduces readiness. TDAP boosters are also now required.

 

I wish more moms protected their children with immunizations and tried to raise awareness that everyone should maintain their shots. They not only protect you, they help protect those around you.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your children. We wouldn't visit if we had coughs and especially not hold the baby. We don't want to get the shot for someone else. Just say we get a serious side effect? It's not a shot we would normally get, none of our doctors mention it to us. The flu shot is debatable. I know ppl who still got the flu with it. There are side effects with that too. I don't remember the flu shot being an issue until the past decade. I was born in the winter and my mom didn't say ppl needed all these shots to see me. We would literally visit the baby maybe twice until he could get his shots. Isn't a mask enough, that's all hospitals said we had to do. Would you be offended or insulted if someone refused to get their shots to see your baby? It may be her baby, but it's my body. I respect her and she should respect us. They haven't invited us over or really talked to us since we said we would just wear masks.

[GH101]

The baby will be breast fed if that makes a difference. I just never heard of this before. I have friends who have had new borns in their family's and they didn't need the shot to hold them. My other cousin is a baby sitter and didn't get these shots. She watched a week old baby. I just think it is extremely rare I would infect a baby with the whooping cough when I'm not coughing and I'm wearing a mask.

[eye of the storm]

The medical community used to believe that the TDAP gave lifetime immunity. Once it was proven that it didn't, they recommended a booster.

 

Esp if there is an outbreak near her, she is not being over protective. She is acting in her child's best interest.

 

As to the flu shot, it is a good idea. It is not 100% effective but it does reduce your chances of both getting and spreading the flu. (on a side note, I personally will not get the mist. like with all drugs i researched it and felt for my situation and my family's situation the shot was a better bet for us)

 

The military requires both of these shots. They do not do it as an over protective measure, they do it because they are aware of how serious it can be, how fast it can spread, and how long it can knock you out of work. They also know that the shots don't "take" on everyone. So they need as much herd immunity as they can get.

 

I agree with the other posters that say, you need to let kids develop some immunity. However, you can't develop immunity to theses types of diseases by letting a kid play in dirt.

 

You asked about your relationship to your cousin, call her. Talk to her. If you truly don't want the shots, explain that you understand her restrictions, you desperately want to see the baby and can you all face time. Tell her you would like to send a gift to make their lives easier, for the baby, or some other such thing. Tell her anything you want, but if you want to have a good relationship, don't tell her she is wrong, because she isn't.

 

Yes it is her baby and she has every right to set boundaries. And yes it is your body and you have every right to not get these shots. Right now you both are in the right. Where the wrong comes in is where you think you have the right to disregard her boundaries. She has to respect your right to not get the shots. You have to respect her right to protect the health of her baby. If you both respect each others rights then your relationship with her will survive this.

 

And please don't get the impression I am a militant government toe stepping parrot. I used a naturopathic OBGYN for my daughter and due to health issues a standard OBGYN for my son but they understood my desire for my treatments to be as "natural" as possible. I have more herbs and spices in my medicine cabinet than regular meds.

 

That being said, I have a brain and a social conscience and both of them required me to look into immunizations I decided the gains outweighed the risks to my children and myself. I also felt that it was my responsibility as a citizen on this planet to do what I could to protect the health of those who can't get these immunizations by contributing to herd immunity.

 

I hope you look into it, call your own doctor and ask them for advice.

 

And I hope your cousin has an easy labor, quick recovery, and a healthy baby.

[GH101]

The medical community used to believe that the TDAP gave lifetime immunity. Once it was proven that it didn't, they recommended a booster.

 

Esp if there is an outbreak near her, she is not being over protective. She is acting in her child's best interest.

 

As to the flu shot, it is a good idea. It is not 100% effective but it does reduce your chances of both getting and spreading the flu. (on a side note, I personally will not get the mist. like with all drugs i researched it and felt for my situation and my family's situation the shot was a better bet for us)

 

The military requires both of these shots. They do not do it as an over protective measure, they do it because they are aware of how serious it can be, how fast it can spread, and how long it can knock you out of work. They also know that the shots don't "take" on everyone. So they need as much herd immunity as they can get.

 

I agree with the other posters that say, you need to let kids develop some immunity. However, you can't develop immunity to theses types of diseases by letting a kid play in dirt.

 

You asked about your relationship to your cousin, call her. Talk to her. If you truly don't want the shots, explain that you understand her restrictions, you desperately want to see the baby and can you all face time. Tell her you would like to send a gift to make their lives easier, for the baby, or some other such thing. Tell her anything you want, but if you want to have a good relationship, don't tell her she is wrong, because she isn't.

 

Yes it is her baby and she has every right to set boundaries. And yes it is your body and you have every right to not get these shots. Right now you both are in the right. Where the wrong comes in is where you think you have the right to disregard her boundaries. She has to respect your right to not get the shots. You have to respect her right to protect the health of her baby. If you both respect each others rights then your relationship with her will survive this.

 

And please don't get the impression I am a militant government toe stepping parrot. I used a naturopathic OBGYN for my daughter and due to health issues a standard OBGYN for my son but they understood my desire for my treatments to be as "natural" as possible. I have more herbs and spices in my medicine cabinet than regular meds.

 

That being said, I have a brain and a social conscience and both of them required me to look into immunizations I decided the gains outweighed the risks to my children and myself. I also felt that it was my responsibility as a citizen on this planet to do what I could to protect the health of those who can't get these immunizations by contributing to herd immunity.

 

I hope you look into it, call your own doctor and ask them for advice.

 

And I hope your cousin has an easy labor, quick recovery, and a healthy baby.

 

Thank you for taking the time to write this. I appreciate your advice. I just find it to be extremely rare that someone who is not coughing and is wearing a mask can infect a baby with the whopping cough. I respect her wishes and understand she is concerned and is doing everything she thinks she can to protect her baby. I am not trying to disregard her boundaries. I just feel she is mad at us because we won't get the shots. We said we had no problem wearing masks, which she told us we could do as an alternative. However, they haven't invited us over and communicated with us lately. I think they just won't speak to us again really until March. I just have never heard of this. My friend just had a baby and she doesn't even know what I am talking about in regards to these shots. Her doctor said the parents/grandparents can get them as a precaution, but the occasional visitor isn't required to get them.

So, if someone came into town for something and wanted to see someone's new baby they wouldn't be allowed? I heard the shot needs to be given 2-3 weeks before seeing the baby. I just find preventing your baby from being around people who are not immunized is unrealistic and ridiculous. I see babies out and about all the time. The baby could be exposed to other diseases. If this is a huge concern, I just would think I would have heard more about it. My doctor never mentioned this TDAP shot to me before. He is really good with keeping up on the latest CDC recommendations too.

I just don't want to get a shot I normally wouldn't need to see a new born I may see twice. I have gotten side effects to shots and I just won't get them to see someone's baby.

I just don't think my cousin's should be offended or insulted by this though. I felt as long as we respect each others wishes things would be okay. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Thanks again for your advice.

[eye of the storm]

GH101, if you have questions, I would refer them to your doc. They can tell you (due to your stated reactions to shots) if it is even recommended for you. It may not be.

 

If its not, call your cousin, let her know you explored the option with your doc and he did not recommend it for you. If she still states its a requirement for them, ask for some picts or the chance to coo at the baby via skype/facetime. Give her support by letting her know you understand and will abide by her wishes.

 

To maintain a good relationship, I would not throw at her that nobody else is doing this. We all know there is a massive amount of stuff that "nobody" does that more people should and probably even more stuff that "everybody" does that more people shouldn't.

 

Respect her right as a mom to protect her child her way, and hopefully she will respect your right to follow your doctor's guidelines.

 

I hope it all works out.

[GH101]

GH101, if you have questions, I would refer them to your doc. They can tell you (due to your stated reactions to shots) if it is even recommended for you. It may not be.

 

If its not, call your cousin, let her know you explored the option with your doc and he did not recommend it for you. If she still states its a requirement for them, ask for some picts or the chance to coo at the baby via skype/facetime. Give her support by letting her know you understand and will abide by her wishes.

 

To maintain a good relationship, I would not throw at her that nobody else is doing this. We all know there is a massive amount of stuff that "nobody" does that more people should and probably even more stuff that "everybody" does that more people shouldn't.

 

Respect her right as a mom to protect her child her way, and hopefully she will respect your right to follow your doctor's guidelines.

 

I hope it all works out.

Thanks for your advice

[bathtub-row]

They have no right to ask that of people. I personally don't want germs introduced into my body and somebody's newborn isn't any incentive to do that. They're obviously very immature. As others have pointed out, babies need to be exposed to things. Actually, I think babies are immune to the flu virus. Don't quote me on that but I think I read it somewhere. You can google it. Anyway, how many babies have you ever known to come down with the flu? I personally never have.

[sweetjasmine]

I just find preventing your baby from being around people who are not immunized is unrealistic and ridiculous. I see babies out and about all the time. The baby could be exposed to other diseases.

 

Well, the first pertussis vaccine can be given at 2 months, and the flu vaccine can be given at 6 months, so it's not really an issue after that.

 

I have gotten side effects to shots and I just won't get them to see someone's baby.

I just don't think my cousin's should be offended or insulted by this though. I felt as long as we respect each others wishes things would be okay. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Thanks again for your advice.

 

That's perfectly reasonable, especially if you've had reactions to vaccines in the past. I agree that you should definitely consult your doctor if you're even considering getting a booster. It may not be a good idea for you to do it, regardless of your cousin's wishes. And I agree they shouldn't feel insulted by your deciding not to get a booster. It's still your decision.

 

They're obviously very immature.

 

It's immature to follow recommendations from your doctor and the CDC?

 

As others have pointed out, babies need to be exposed to things.

 

You're free to expose your baby to pertussis and whatever other illness you like, I guess, but you don't have a right to expose someone else's newborn to serious diseases.

 

Actually, I think babies are immune to the flu virus.

 

Not true at all. An average of ~6,500 infants are hospitalized with influenza each year in the US, and half of them are under 3 months of age.

[eye of the storm]

They do have the right to ask. You have the right to ask anything you want. GH101 also has the right to say no.

 

I ask people to remove their shoes in my house, which is my right. If you don't like my rule...you have the right to not visit my house. (yes, if you have a medical reason, Im willing to make exceptions)

 

I don't understand the anger at this family. She just had her second kid, during flu season, in an area with a whooping cough outbreak. She got advice from her doctor and hospital and she decided to follow it.

 

GH101 this is not to you, it is to general population...If you don't want to get the immunized fine, don't. But understand if someone makes it a requirements to visit their house, don't be angry, either get them or don't visit.

 

If their child gets sick, the people that brought in into their house will not be the ones sitting in the hospital, paying the medical bills, missing work, worrying about recovery, it will be this mom and this dad. They have every right to try their best to reduce the chances of having to go thru that.

 

There are way to many parents, who don't care much about their kids. Sad but true. Lets not be so hard on the ones trying to do what they feel is the right thing.