Flu and TDAP shot before letting anyone see new baby?

[ufo8mycat]

don't think they should be mad at me because I didn't want to inject my body with stuff and if they are mad the funeral was not the time to show it. Again I am not sure if they're mad at me, but we haven't been the same since the shot thing. We never really discussed it, just mentioned it and emailed me briefly before the baby was born about it and that was it.

What do you all think about this? Am I overreacting? Should I be mad?

 

You don't get to choose what they are upset about. So it doesn't matter if you think they should or should be mad at you. I have no idea why they are acting distant.

 

Like so many people told you your other thread I think you are over reacting - to all of this. You don't get to assign value to grief or other peoples relationships. You are not entitled to a particular type of support and people are not mind readers. If you want something from your cousin and his wife then ASK.

 

Everything you describe if VERY passive aggressive on your part. You chose not to get the vaccine. I guess the baby is now old enough to have had the vaccine. So no longer an issue.

 

If you are waiting for them admit their culpability you might be waiting a really long time. If these relationships are important to you then be the bigger man and extend the olive branch by getting in contact.

 

If not, accept that you all see things differently and move on. There is zero value in a moral victory - which is what it reads like you are after.

[GH101]

You don't get to choose what they are upset about. So it doesn't matter if you think they should or should be mad at you. I have no idea why they are acting distant.

 

Like so many people told you your other thread I think you are over reacting - to all of this. You don't get to assign value to grief or other peoples relationships. You are not entitled to a particular type of support and people are not mind readers. If you want something from your cousin and his wife then ASK.

 

Everything you describe if VERY passive aggressive on your part. You chose not to get the vaccine. I guess the baby is now old enough to have had the vaccine. So no longer an issue.

 

If you are waiting for them admit their culpability you might be waiting a really long time. If these relationships are important to you then be the bigger man and extend the olive branch by getting in contact.

 

If not, accept that you all see things differently and move on. There is zero value in a moral victory - which is what it reads like you are after.

 

Again, please don't think my cousin's were blinded by grief to not say hello. They could have called my mom since she was the one who lost her mom. Acting like a stranger was ridiculous. I didn't want anything from my cousin but a simple hello. You have to be a mind reader to call your close aunt and offer support and sympathy? You have to be a mind reader to know not to ignore your cousin? So you think they should have been mad at me for not getting the shots and continue the grudge at my grandmas/best friend's funeral? My grandma was my best friend and they knew that.

 

You think going out to lunch and ignoring your phone instead of going right to your grandma's wake to help other family members set up is okay? You think what they did was fine and normal?

 

I will move passed this, but never forget their uncaring, cold and harsh behavior.

[ufo8mycat]

Again, please don't think my cousin's were blinded by grief to not say hello. They could have called my mom since she was the one who lost her mom. Acting like a stranger was ridiculous. I didn't want anything from my cousin but a simple hello. You have to be a mind reader to call your close aunt and offer support and sympathy? You have to be a mind reader to know not to ignore your cousin? So you think they should have been mad at me for not getting the shots and continue the grudge at my grandmas/best friend's funeral? My grandma was my best friend and they knew that.

 

You think going out to lunch and ignoring your phone instead of going right to your grandma's wake to help other family members set up is okay? You think what they did was fine and normal?

 

I will move passed this, but never forget their uncaring, cold and harsh behavior.

 

Maybe! Not everyone is like you. Not everyone has your standards and expectations. And they are just that - expectations, not rules or norms.

 

 

Sorry but you seem kind of hysterical over this. Why would you invest so much emotional energy in people who don't hold you in the same regard that you hold them?

[GH101]

You don't get to choose what they are upset about. So it doesn't matter if you think they should or should be mad at you. I have no idea why they are acting distant.

 

Like so many people told you your other thread I think you are over reacting - to all of this. You don't get to assign value to grief or other peoples relationships. You are not entitled to a particular type of support and people are not mind readers. If you want something from your cousin and his wife then ASK.

 

Everything you describe if VERY passive aggressive on your part. You chose not to get the vaccine. I guess the baby is now old enough to have had the vaccine. So no longer an issue.

 

If you are waiting for them admit their culpability you might be waiting a really long time. If these relationships are important to you then be the bigger man and extend the olive branch by getting in contact.

 

If not, accept that you all see things differently and move on. There is zero value in a moral victory - which is what it reads like you are after.

 

Maybe! Not everyone is like you. Not everyone has your standards and expectations. And they are just that - expectations, not rules or norms.

 

 

Sorry but you seem kind of hysterical over this. Why would you invest so much emotional energy in people who don't hold you in the same regard that you hold them?

 

I don't understand who would disagree with me; it's like common sense. My "expectations" and "standards" are just common decency. Why would anyone think it's okay to treat your close cousin as a stranger? Why would anyone think it was okay to be so self centered to not call or say to your close aunt sorry you lost your mother?

 

I normally wouldn't keep discussing this, but I want to respond.

[Art_Critic]

They came to the funeral, that is being supportive.. people don't come to a funeral for those who have passed but for those loved ones who are still living..

 

I doubt they are holding a grudge, many people just have few words at funerals as it isn't the place to chat up those who are grieving and many times people feel they don't want to say anything wrong.

 

Try and bury this hatchet.. it isn't worth stirring up dust over this..

[Jessie1231]

You seem to be overreacting as you are still discussing this. If it's such a huge deal, why didn't you go say hello to them? Why was it their job to approach you and comfort you? Your cousin had just lost his grandma too. People grieve differently.

 

A few years back I had to attend a funeral for a family member who was extremely close. I was devastated and the entire wake and funeral was kind of a blur because of that. In fact I couldn't even remember who all was there until I looked at the guest book later to see who had signed it. I definitely didn't think to keep tabs on who comforted me and how at the funeral.

[GH101]

I still haven't been invited over. I guess even if I got the shots, I wouldn't have been invited over anyway. I probably would have said something if that were the case though.

 

Flu season is over and he is already months old. I guess they are either mad at me for not getting those shots or it is about something else. I used to see them every few weeks and since this whole thing I haven't seen them.

 

Last time I saw them was at a family event and they didn't seem mad at me.

 

Somebody suggested they should take their kids to a kids museum and they said no because there are too many germs there. I guess they have become germaphobes since having their second child.