Antidepressants after break up? or Supplements(St Johns Wort)? What is your take?

[OneConfuzedGuy]

Hi,

 

Obviously I am going through a rough break up, which I posted in the break up forums. Anyway, 3 months in and I still feel like I am in a big rut. I am considering that if it does not get any better that maybe taking anti-depressants for a short-term basis would help? I just wanted to know what people think about this and if they have any similar experience.

 

Also - I have started talking St Johns Wort - as I have read that it can be effective for mild or moderate depression. I have taken it for a few days but have read that it can take up to weeks before results start to show.

 

I do also know that you should take either one or the other. If I find that the St Johns Wort does not seem to be effective and after a couple months I still find myself feeling the way I am, I am considering possibly going to the anti-depressants route.

 

FYI 3 months out of a 4.5 year relationship, 4 years living together. I am pretty lost right now.

 

 

Just wanted to know if anyone has any knowledge, experience, or even just an opinion about this situation.

[love2ride]

I suffer from anxiety and depression. My break up in September pushed me into a depression. I tried a few different anti depressants and went through hell trying to find one that worked. I'm on Pristiq now and has helped me a little but its no magic cure. You still feel the pain, miss them and want to be with them. If your clinically depressed see a dr if you think it will take away the pain it won't. You just have to go through it. I'm also taking divan and sleeping pills when i need them. 4 months later and everyday is a battle. I loved her and she is moving on and i'm still missing her. Life just isn't fair.

[laddie]

I took St John's Wort after my break up and I think it did help a bit. Although I felt that awful anyway it's hard to tell. I also took Valerian which I feel did help, especially getting to sleep and dealing with the anxiety. If you do take St John's Wort or Valerian make sure the supplements you buy has a decent amount in them.

Try to remember things will get better you just need time. I still have bad days but it's defenitely a whole lot better than a year ago.

[SycamoreCircle]

OP, just read your first post from yesterday. You say you want to feel normal? What you are feeling right now is ABSOLUTELY normal. This is grief. It's going to take some time. You're going to have to go through all the stages. You can try to offset it with medication, but in the end you have to pay the piper.

 

When I was in the grips of my BU, my father who is very much into natural remedies suggested a cup of coffee. What?! I was furious. That's no remedy for this kind of pain! A week or two passed and I happened to have a cup of coffee. Would you believe I did feel a little pep, a momentary relief? But it was all accidental, not something I could engineer.

 

Here's how it works: there will come a day when this will affect you 9/10ths of the time. Then 8/10ths. Then 7 and so on and so on.

 

Here are some things that helped me: taking walks, taking long and short trips to places I'd never been, doing something new each day, talking to people who cared, reading Lao Tzu's Tao te Ching, being active on LS(writing and reading) and strict NC.

 

Don't worry about future prospects with other women. You're not ready for that and won't be for a while. Finding your own place? Don't worry about that. Why add the hassle of having to find a roommate, acclimating yourself to their needs and requirements, having to make rent every month when you've got a support network right now that's free? Don't compound your problems. Heal first. Allow yourself to FALL. Allow yourself to feel what you are naturally inclined to feel now. Consider this a season. It is a season like Winter, where if you were to look at yourself you might not be thoroughly impressed---no foliage, no animal or insect life moving about, very little activity.

 

As for antidepressants---the body is a storehouse of chemicals. It knows what to do and how to do it. It doesn't need you pouring things into it. You only delay the process. Trust what is happening to you right now. You will get through this. I promise.

[Lostgirl50]

iagree I did go on antidepressants for a while but did not like how they made me feel. I stopped them. One has to grieve. Has to and younalsomneed to move forward. That person is gone. It is difficult , but it will get better with time. There is no pill to speed about ime - you just have to live it. Hugs!

[Always Pondering]

As Sycamore said, what you're experiencing out of a break-up is completely normal and honestly, there's no magic fix to it. Embrace it, take it easy and one step at a time and healing properly.

 

I didn't use St. John's Wort long enough to say I can give a good word on how/if it works (only about a week or two at most) since I tried it after a break-up a long time ago. I stopped very quickly though because I actually felt worse at the idea of putting unnecessary stuff into my body and I recovered from the pain with simple and steady steps with the natural process of grieving.

 

Heck, if somehow you lived next to me, you could have my bottle if you really want to try it (jk of course). It's practically full still and sitting in my closet.

[OneConfuzedGuy]

Yeah I understand. I am going to try St Johns Wort for a little bit and see how it goes. It is pretty cheap and it is a natural substance. If it can help a little while I push through this I figure why not. And at least I won't feel like a zombie or have crazy side effects if I went the pharmaceutical route.

 

I have been staying away from alcohol as much as I can. Though I do have a few drinks socially, I am proud to say I have not gotten completely trashed since the break up to cope or be sad. Only a few times have I gotten drunk but it was more of lets have a good time thing. I have though been smoking black and milds more. I use to smoke maybe one a month just for the hell of it. I find myself smoking at least 1 a day the past month, as a I feel a little less tense afterwards. That I am not too thrilled about but it is helping the stress level a little bit.

[DenverDude]

If I can chime in and say one thing regarding the OP post, it is that St. John's Wart gave me some pretty extreme dreams. It got to the point where I had to completely stop taking SJW because of that.. I googled it, and it is a VERY common side effect to taking them.

 

 

OP- it might just happen to certain people.. So please dont be affraid of my experience. I say give them a shot. It did seem to help me tremendously during the daytime.

[almond]

Exercise, eat healthy, lots of sunlight, keep active and social. Do this every day. Join a club, get a gym membership, hobby, sport etc. etc. Switch out the SJW for a good multivitamin and do this for a few weeks. You will notice some significant improvements.

 

The above will help you a lot more than any supplement or med will alone. Do not take anti-depressants unless you feel that you really have to. Don't be scared about how you're feeling, it's okay, and a natural process. Just focus on speeding that process up in healthy, beneficial ways.

 

Chin up - you will get through this, and if you do the right things, you'll come out the other side better than ever.

Edited December 3, 2014 by almond

[NopeNah]

Never heard of st.johns wart....i will say any prescribed meds only mask the pain. When you awake...it''s all there! Take another,rinse and repeat. NO way to live! Trust me...I've been doing this. I've always ,semi taking these as recreational...but....it does NOTHING for this! Clean mind is needed to cope and grasp the situation.

[OneConfuzedGuy]

This is what is concerning to me. I guess I am asking because I am starting to feel worse and worse about the situation. I feel depressed and like I ruined my life. How can I deal with that. I wake up every morning thinking I could of had a different life but now I feel sad and like I wont ever be happy. Sure I know happiness comes from yourself but since I realized my faults in the relationship and how I contributed to the break up its hard to deal with it and myself. So sometimes all I think about are ways to numb the pain because I dont think I will ever find someone again like that and I ruined my shot at happiness sharing it with another. This is so hard.........

[ralfgarnett]

I couldn't of got to this point without anti depressants, in fact 2 weeks ago I hit such a low depression that I ahd to have an emergency GP appointment to change from venlafaxine to mirtazapine which has helped me quite a bit, I also have buspirone tarnquilisers to take the edge off and also take sleepers to get me through, I have no shame in any of this, my wife and I were together 2o years 17 of them married, when she said she was leaving out of the blue I felt as though she had dropped dead in front of me, I also drink moderate levels every night but much more at weekends, quite frankly I don't want to live too long without her, but my advice to you is if you feel you need them then go to ypour GP nd tell them that, but tey will take ypu weeks to get in yopur system and you would have to stop taking SJW as it can interfere with them, whatever you decide good luck I will be thinking of you mate.