bolase Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 (edited) There is this guy at work. We sit close to each other and talk all the time, mostly about our work which is very busy and requires it; but now about everything (sometimes even personal stuff like ex boyfriend/girlfriends, family etc) and I think we're on the same page though he is 6 years younger - both in our 20s. We've worked together for about 3 months and we both finish up at the company in January. I wasn't blown away by him when we first met but after spending so much time getting to know him, I have a secret crush. I've grown to find him gorgeous AND such a great person. I have no idea if he is attracted to me, he's quite polite and traditional. But he has opened up to me much more since we started getting closer lately and seems to look up to me; saying I'd do a better job at XYZ than him, and asking my advice on things, making jokes, caring about my weekends etc. BUT about a month ago he confessed he has a crush on this girl who works at a restaurant near our workplace. She is gorgeous. Even though I like him, I knew he wouldn't approach her in that scenario so I tried to give them a chance by chatting to her when I ate there, mentioning my workmates including him and the nice things they said about her restaurant, etc. After that, he told me his crush had faded as she had a coldness about her. Just recently she stopped working there and twice he has looked at me and mentioned that his crush has gone, almost waiting for my reaction (or maybe I am imagining this). Signs are he is not interested, right? Edited December 2, 2014 by bolase Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 Why don't you ask him? Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 You are six years younger and you're both in your twenties? That is quite a big age difference. He may think that he is too young for you to be interested in him. You know that is not the case! You may have to lead him a bit, under the circumstances. He may be interested, or not, but if he is, after you helped him through his crush on someone else, and given the age difference, he may be bashful about making a move. You should make sure he has enough to go on. Not necessarily coming right out and telling him, but let him know how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bolase Posted December 3, 2014 Author Share Posted December 3, 2014 I'm not sure how to ask him! I never touch him and I do to other coworkers from time to time, but I'd be too nervous to do that properly.. Any suggestions on what to say it how to ask him questions? I remembered that he once asked if I were friends with a girl he knew, I said yes, we are not but not in the past as we dated the same guy. He said wow what a cool guy to have dated (me) AND (her) which was maybe a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I'm not sure how to ask him! I never touch him and I do to other coworkers from time to time, but I'd be too nervous to do that properly.. Any suggestions on what to say it how to ask him questions? "Do you want to grab lunch with me?" If he's into you, he should take that as a green light and take it from there... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Do you ever drink alcohol? Anybody go for happy hour? A drink or two might loosen you up enough to get the conversation flowing. If not, ask him for lunch and ..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PaintedTales Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 This is almost exactly how my boyfriend and I got together! Wow! He's five years younger than me, and we worked together for three months before anything happened. I knew I was developing feelings for him to the point I didn't want to ignore them... I started subtly flirting with him, and found something we both had in common and told him I'd kick his ass at it in a challenging playful way (we both enjoy playing pool!) we went for drinks after work one night suggested by me...admittedly he looked like a deer in headlights when I asked him but I just casually said it's been a long week and I fancy a drink want to join me? I do this often... He did and it did feel more like a date. He even dropped me home afterwards. Soon we had our pool date and ended up Kissing and that's where it all began. Two years later we are moving in together and I cannot imagine life without him. If you keep it light and playful to begin with who knows where it could lead... He told me later on after we'd been together a few months he always thought I was out of his league and was a bit intimidated by the fact I was older than him as he'd never dated someone older. But was so happy when he found out I was interested in him as he never thought I would be. it seems like a bit of an age gap but in all honesty its not really. I'm quite young minded for my age in the sense that Im not ready for babies and marriage just yet, in fact moving in together was his suggestion! Being the younger guy I let things move at their own pace and mostly his pace...as I know some guys can panic when things get too serious. He was the first to say I love you, the first to suggest moving in together... And it just so happened the pace we were moving at suited me too... Someone who has never considered living with anyone before because it never felt right! Let us know how you get on! And any developments this sounds so familiar it's exciting! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PaintedTales Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Btw... Re your last question on your post... I'd say the signs are he IS interested! Just test it out and see how he reacts to some things you say/do! :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bolase Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Thanks for sharing your story! That's so sweet I can imagine him being totally deer in the headlights if I were ever to ask him to hang out with me after work... it's just impossible for me to tell what way it could go. I know that he is busy most nights at the moment with another couple of pastimes. I think he probably isn't interested, although I'd consider myself fairly attractive, perhaps more so than his ex who I've met once through our other friends (not that that matters much) - OR he simply thinks there is no way we would go out because of the age difference, so that's why he's comfortable with telling me about the girl he had a crush on, etc. I will try suggesting a drink next week if our boss leaves early so he doesnt witness it and I feel brave enough! There is also a hobby that I am quite good at which he is just learning and I already taught him one lunchtime but he says he needs more help, so I could offer to do that after work.. Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 he is interested! Try the drink. The hobby sounds good too. He might get a big crush on his teacher! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bolase Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 Well I asked casually asked where we were going for lunch and the answer was they were going to x place but that's not my kind of food. So I think I'll take that as a clear no lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bolase Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 But he does want more teaching! I'll try to stay professional. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bolase Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 Well I asked casually asked where we were going for lunch and the answer was he was going to x place but that's not my kind of food. So I think I'll take that as a clear no lol. He was, not they were Link to post Share on other sites
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