GemmaUK Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I hear that for older women, they say, "I can always adopt." Though, even that isn't a desirable alternative as you still will be having a child in your life at a later age. It's also expensive to adopt. I think some people go into a state of panic "OMG, I am almost 40, I better hurry up and find a man!" In my initial email to women online that are of that age bracket and state that they want kids, Esp. the "I have kids and I want more". I try to get clarification if they picked that in error. OMG! How on earth do you word that without being way too forward/rude? Why not take it as 'she picked what she picked for a reason'? I don't want children but I still got questioned on it on OLD. Usually by the grumpy ones who wanted to pick me apart for something (anything really). They would later mail me about something else - just for the fun of picking 'something' apart! It's hilarious when that happens! Women in my area tend to mail other women if they get a grumpy one just there for a rise. We all end up with a list to avoid! Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 I was on a site which has that criteria on the profile so you know before the first message if they want kids or not. I am getting close to 30 and only just started to think about it. Because I dated a guy who definitely did NOT want children and he brought it up, it was a huge deal for him. I felt pressured, I can't suddenly make up my mind. I don't want kids now, but I have no idea what I will want in 10 years time. And I don't see the problem with having a kid at age 40. It's not selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 Could put an opposite spin on this post... I know a former co-worker that was 38 years old. I saw a young child on a picture on her desk. I asked if that was her child and she said it was her GRAND child and I was like HUH? I thought, "Wow, 2 generations of shot gun weddings" lol Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Could put an opposite spin on this post... I know a former co-worker that was 38 years old. I saw a young child on a picture on her desk. I asked if that was her child and she said it was her GRAND child and I was like HUH? I thought, "Wow, 2 generations of shot gun weddings" lol Now, there's a topic worthy of it's own thread! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Could put an opposite spin on this post... I know a former co-worker that was 38 years old. I saw a young child on a picture on her desk. I asked if that was her child and she said it was her GRAND child and I was like HUH? I thought, "Wow, 2 generations of shot gun weddings" lol I take it you know for a fact both generations were unwanted/unplanned children? You must have been very close to that co-worker to know that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 In my first marriage I was in my 30's and a step dad.. we tried to have a child and it never panned out, many in-vitro tries, many artificial tries and all the resulted was a miscarriage at 3 months.. heartbreaking... In my late 30's I found myself divorced and doing OLD with absolutely no intention of becoming a father.. All the women I dated or was looking for all ready had kids and I had to accept that I wouldn't have any kids.. no biggie... Fast forward to 43-44, dating a sexy hot girl on match.. we fall in love and get married and wouldn't know it she gets pregnant and now she wasn't trying even though she was nearing the 40 year old mark. I became a Dad at almost 45, and no it isn't selfish.. my little boy is having the time of his life and is quite the young man right now and on his way to 7 years old, how can being a great parent to a wonderful boy be selfish.. There is nothing selfish about being a parent late in life.. sure If I could have had kids younger I would have.. but it didn't work out that way.. Life has a funny way of moving forward and you don't always have any say so in what happens... I don't think there is anything wrong with having a desire to not have children or looking for women who fit that desire either and I don't think there is any real age a woman stops having the desire... their body's age just catches up with them... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted December 4, 2014 Author Share Posted December 4, 2014 I take it you know for a fact both generations were unwanted/unplanned children? You must have been very close to that co-worker to know that. Well, it's a small workplace, people tend to open up a bit more. Link to post Share on other sites
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