Looking for answers when I probably already have them

[hopefulandrealistic]

So here is the story. My ex and I worked together the last two summers at the college that I just graduated from and she is now attending. She is 19 and I was 22 at the time, just turned 23. I knew going into this summer that I wanted to pursue a relationship with her, and I prayed about it because I wanted God's input on it. He opened the door for it, and we started dating in July. It was about a month before I moved 40 minutes for the first semester of my graduate work. It sucked not being as close to her, but it was still working. She started her freshman year a couple weeks after I moved, and that's when things started to get a little shaky. She just started to feel overwhelmed with life. She broke up with me a month later. Through the whole month she kept saying that she wanted to work it out and that it would be a mistake to break up with me. We were in a dating relationship for a little over 2 months.

 

The day she broke up with me was no different. We had told each other that we loved each other that day. Later that day I asked her if she was feeling alright, and she said she didn't know. I called her to talk about it, and all of a sudden we were talking about a break up. She said that she didn't want to make a mistake because I meant a lot to her. I told her I would drive home so that we could talk about it in person. During that time she talked to her mom, who had told her that I was a keeper, and she came to the conclusion that we take a break/break up. She told me that she still loved me, but she felt that with school starting and making new friends that she couldn't give me the time I deserved. She also said that she needed to figure out college by herself, needed to find what she wanted to do with life, and that relationships weren't on her mind. She assured me that there was no other guy, which still seems true. She said that if there wasn't the actual distance between us that things might be different. She said that before we started talking during the summer that she didn't want a relationship going into college, but she met me and that changed everything. I told her that I understood and that I wasn't angry. I was disappointed, but wasn't angry. She said she still wanted to keep in contact and talk to me, but said that it was up to me how much. I took her back to her dorm and left it at that.

 

For the first couple of weeks afterwards, we had a few good conversations. Three weeks after the break up we grabbed dinner together and everything seemed like it always had; the joking, the laughing, story telling, smiling at each other for no reason. She even text me the next day to tell me happy birthday! Then all of a sudden she went cold. We had a conversation the next week and she was real vague. She said that she was enjoying doing her own thing, but she didn't know how she felt. She said that she didn't know when she would get through this phase, but she felt like she was wasting my time. I told her I wouldn't give up, and we said goodnight to each other. She didn't let me follow her on instagram, so she blocked me the second time. I know, dumb mistake, but that's the only one. I waited a week and apologized and said that we both know I'm better than that. I haven't heard from her since the conversation we had about her not knowing how she felt. It could just be that she didn't feel the need to reply to the apology.

 

During the relationship I was there for her when her grandmother passed away, which she later told the other girls on her floor that it really brought us closer together. I was there for her as she dealt with moving into her dorm and away from her family. I guess I'm just trying to figure it out.

 

I know what everyone will tell me, trust me, my whole family has, "Don't contact her. Let her come to you." Which I have no problem with. She is the one that left, she can be the one that comes back. I'm still exercising like I always have. I'm pursuing my future like I intended. Missing her hasn't stopped me from functioning in my daily life at all. I can honestly say that I really love this young woman, and I miss her. I can live happily from this point forward, but there is a feeling in my gut telling me just to be patient. That she'll come back around.

 

So, here is my big issue. I'm actually moving home at the end of this semester and will be commuting the next 3 semesters.

 

Do I let her know that I'm doing that, or do I just leave it alone and let it be? Does it sound like she would even be interested in knowing?

[ralfgarnett]

Do nothing say nothing don't chase or tell her anything, if she wants you then she will find you no matter where you are, she has your mobile and e-mail address, go NC see what happens let her come to you now mate.

[fairyanna]

it seems like you played your hand one too many times and in the end, you got burnt. It happens to the best of us and unfortunately, if you truly care about her, you would let her live her life. It doesn't seem like you want to commit and it wouldn't be fair for you to pull her away from a proper relationship if you are only going to use her to heal your damaged pride. And the term "soulmate" is absolute nonsense too. You have tunnel vision and you are probably a bit jealous that she found happiness with another man. Its ok, it happens. Just move on and meet a new girl.