Does it ever surprise you how predictable physical attraction is?

[ComingInHot]

I'm lost on the ranking/league thing again. Is there a roster or some kind of rating system I am missing? It all sounds like so much depressing pressure.

 

That said . I have never dated someone I didn't find attractive. Matter of fact, I consider myself d@mn lucky to date all these 'out of my league' men. OR maybe... when some people are 'rating' others on tneir looks at a glance, they just aren't looking close enough to see how handsome/beautiful people are or can be Up Close.

 

granted I haven't gotten out much in 15 years... but still*

[Weezy1973]

Obsession with looks and beauty has been there since the beginning of human race. It has nothing to do with OLD. I really can't believe that people are saying that looks are purely subjective.

 

If you present a person to a 100 random people and ask them to rate this person's looks on a scale from 1-10, I can gurantee you that there will be a high concentration of marks within a narrow score age. If beauty was truly subjective, the scores would be approximately equally distributed. This experiment was done many times with photos and it proves my point. Sure, beauty is "subjective" within a narrow score range. It is far from subjective overall.

 

Exactly - the details might be subjective - the overall "look" is not. Men tend to prefer women with small waists and a youthful appearance. Women tend to prefer men with a V body type (i.e. broad shoulders tapering to a narrow waist), and a symmetrical face with a square jawline.

 

Details may differ from person to person, culture to culture and era to era, but there are definitely universal, biological attractors that the vast majority of people respond to.

[xxoo]

I'm just interpreting the "ugly guys can get hot women" testimonials that pop up on LS -- is that not how you think they should be taken?

 

I interpret them as: women can be very attracted by qualities other than looks, as evidenced by men who are "ugly" but attract "hot" women.

 

Not that every unattractive man will be able to attract hot women, or should hold that as the gold standard. The gold standard, imo, is a genuine connection and mutual attraction (regardless of beauty).

[Weezy1973]

I interpret them as: women can be very attracted by qualities other than looks, as evidenced by men who are "ugly" but attract "hot" women.

 

Not that every unattractive man will be able to attract hot women, or should hold that as the gold standard. The gold standard, imo, is a genuine connection and mutual attraction (regardless of beauty).

 

Which if that were actually the case would result in people of all sorts of physical attractiveness levels in relationships with people of completely different attractiveness levels.

 

But (with a few exceptions), that's just not the case. People with similar attractiveness levels match up. Consistently.

[NJ123]

Actually probably not true. The only people that have it tough would be the people that are trying to date people more attractive than they themselves are.

 

People match up with people of like attractiveness levels. Ugly with ugly. Average with average. Good looking with good looking.

And remember, the vast majority of adults are actually in relationships - so most people aren't struggling at all!

 

But you have to understand a lot of men & women seen as ugly still don't want to date others that are seen as ugly. They still want someone better looking, and a lot of them rather just stay single than to be with someone else they don't find attractive even if their unattractive themselves.

[xxoo]

Which if that were actually the case would result in people of all sorts of physical attractiveness levels in relationships with people of completely different attractiveness levels.

 

But (with a few exceptions), that's just not the case. People with similar attractiveness levels match up. Consistently.

 

I agree with you.

 

The subjective part is that the person you fall in love with rises in attractiveness, regardless of actual beauty. So the two average people consider each other highly attractive, regardless of their mutual averageness.

[Weezy1973]

But you have to understand a lot of men & women seen as ugly still don't want to date others that are seen as ugly. They still want someone better looking, and a lot of them rather just stay single than to be with someone else they don't find attractive even if their unattractive themselves.

 

 

Yes, and as I said earlier, people will have a hard time if they are only trying to date or only attracted to people that are more attractive than themselves.

 

But again - most people are in relationships so I imagine this is a relatively rare occurrence.

[ponchsox]

No. If you're very good looking, women will drop their panties quick even if you don't have a job. If you're ugly, you better have a fat fallet to have a chance. Sux, but that's the way it is. Most guys will bang anything and aren't picky.

[Anela]

No. If you're very good looking, women will drop their panties quick even if you don't have a job. If you're ugly, you better have a fat fallet to have a chance. Sux, but that's the way it is. Most guys will bang anything and aren't picky.

 

Such a refreshing point of view, that we've never been presented with before. I especially love the reminder that men will "bang" just about anything, and how lucky we are for that reason.

[Under The Radar]

Yeah.

 

I'm glad I'm not like most guys then.

 

[NJ123]

Yes, and as I said earlier, people will have a hard time if they are only trying to date or only attracted to people that are more attractive than themselves.

 

But again - most people are in relationships so I imagine this is a relatively rare occurrence.

 

But are most of these people truly happy or are they just settling for someone because they don't have a better option?

[Weezy1973]

But are most of these people truly happy or are they just settling for someone because they don't have a better option?

 

Well being in a relationship does not necessarily make one truly happy one way or another. I also don't hear of people that have been in long term relationships using the terms "settling" and "options." That view of dating and relationships seems to be relegated to the perpetually single internet forum crowd.

 

I do know studies show that most people rate their partners as above average in terms of attractiveness (regardless of their actual physical appearance). So yeah, I'm guessing most of those folks are pretty happy...

[xxoo]

No. If you're very good looking, women will drop their panties quick even if you don't have a job. If you're ugly, you better have a fat fallet to have a chance. Sux, but that's the way it is. Most guys will bang anything and aren't picky.

 

Sux, but that's the way it is.

[Anela]

Sux, but that's the way it is.

 

If it's true, then it's nothing to be proud of. I don't see why it's supposed to be so flattering, that we can have sex with someone who would sleep with just about anyone.

[Rejected Rosebud]

But are most of these people truly happy or are they just settling for someone because they don't have a better option?

If you think that "better" means the same as "hotter," then maybe, but thank goodness most people in happy relationships (the ones I know anyway) aren't thinking about how they'd be happier with a hotter partner.

[dreamingoftigers]

I got stuck on the idea that the OP believes that women go up to any man and tells a perfect stranger they want to remove his under garments orally.

 

Not saying it isn't done but I promise that is GROSSLY in the exception rule.

 

The rest of it is just a self defeating assumption towards self pity.

 

Yeah, we aren't usually like men in that respect.

 

We feel it out a little more first.

 

No wonder men get drinks thrown in their faces.

[AD1980]

Yes, and as I said earlier, people will have a hard time if they are only trying to date or only attracted to people that are more attractive than themselves.

 

But again - most people are in relationships so I imagine this is a relatively rare occurrence.

 

That's my problem I'm not attracted to the female version of myself which would be an unattractive women lol I'm extremely visual and can't help it so I'm trying to be the exception that dates above my league

 

I'm not going for or only attracted to really hot women at all but I think even kinda cute women seem to be out of my league

Edited December 5, 2014 by AD1980

[Rejected Rosebud]

Obsession with looks and beauty has been there since the beginning of human race. It has nothing to do with OLD. I really can't believe that people are saying that looks are purely subjective.

 

I don't think that looks are purely subjective but most of us, as far as I know anyway! have experienced getting all into somebody not because of the looks but because of "something." After you get hooked you start finding the way they look to be adorable even if they are not objectively very good looking, and even when this happens you can objectively know that he is not a 10 on a scale, but you don't care.

[Imajerk17]

Let's say a man is born. He's about a 4 out of 10.

 

He lives his life as a 4, going about his dailies. He goes to high school. Meets women. Goes to college, meets some more women. He gets a job, and starts making $. He starts hitting on women in bars, doing online dating.

 

Over the course of the first 20 years of his life after puberty, the man will literally meet millions of women, thousands of which are attractive women, say 7s and 8s.

 

Does it ever surprise you that out of all of those thousands of significantly more attractive women he meets, there isn't at least one that thinks he is hot? Just purely looks hot. Comes up to him at a bar, or online and says, "You're handsome. I want to tear your underwear off with my teeth."

 

But we all know that doesn't happen. It never happens. Is anybody ever surprised by how predictable physical attraction is?

 

This has been going on for quite a while. You really need to stop whining. It's quite unattractive.

 

Your perception of "how things work" is so wrong that I don't even know where to begin here. My "10" is another man's "6" and vice-versa, and that's probably even more so for women, for one thing. For another, I have had plenty of success with women--and plenty more failures--but I have NEVER had a woman come up to me and tell me how handsome I am.

 

Yes, women are pickier than men (and I've gotten on some women on here for their pickers), in that not that many men spark attraction in them. But to read some of you and some of you other guys, getting a girlfriend is equivalent to getting into Harvard while being a Calvin Klein underwear model. It's just not like that at all. In fact, there are plenty of great guys with everything going for them on paper who struggle with women, and there are plenty of average guys who do great. Women end up with "unlikely heroes" all the time.

 

Anyway JJS I saw your other thread. Before you gripe about your lack of luck with OLD, you might want to, um you know, actually ASK FOR FEEDBACK on your profile and the emails you are sending. I can give you a suggestion right now: Stop making a woman's height requirements the reason why you don't write her. A great email/phone call/date can overcome that.

Edited December 5, 2014 by Imajerk17

[ponchsox]

Guys like you are the ones that stay dateless and never get laid. Either learn to be happy with the type of girls you can actually get now, or improve yourself enough to attract someone different. If you don't do those things, get used to internet porn.

 

Fleshlights are amazing

[AD1980]

Guys like you are the ones that stay dateless and never get laid. Either learn to be happy with the type of girls you can actually get now, or improve yourself enough to attract someone different. If you don't do those things, get used to internet porn.

 

I'm content being alone if I can't get a women I'm somewhat physically attracted to

[AD1980]

Have you done anything to make yourself more appealing to those women? A below average looking guy, with an average job, who has no traits that make him stand above others, will have a tough time getting with a better looking woman. In fact, it is gonna be all but impossible. I have a single friend who does the same thing as you, and at 31 or so, he has had one GF his entire life. That lasted a few months before she got tired of him.

 

Another thing to consider is low testosterone. Depending on your age, low testosterone may very well be an issue. One of the symptoms of this is when a man finds few women attractive. Basically, if your hormones are working as they should, most women should be attractive to a man.

 

I'm working out a few times a week and in the best shape of my life

 

As far as low testosterone I'm not so sure..I'm attracted to alot of different women not just "hot" women just because they'res some women I don't find attractive doesn't mean I have low testorone or are only into the hottest women

[Danda]

I also think such a number scale has a significant degree of subjectivity..

 

I recently fooled around for a night with a guy I met online. He was really insecure about his appearance when we were first texting, and he claimed he hadn't had any type of sex in over a year. He said he never felt confident approaching women and was thus going for easy targets like women like myself who were looking for sex (hey at least he was honest lol). He saw us as both desperate since we were both on Craigslist and that was why he felt brave enough to message me. I do believe his claim that he was kind of inexperienced because he was the worst kisser I have ever encountered by far lol.

 

Anyway, I thought he was extremely attractive. I was feeling nervous and insecure about him being out of my league. Even though I sent him several very honest photos, I was still anxious that he'd be disappointed when he arrived. Instead every time I'd try to put my clothes back on he'd insist that I didn't or get me to take them back off. Even when I mentioned it was kind of cold, he asked me to get a blanket and cuddle nekked. I've also always thought I had ugly boobs and I think he gave me boobs more attention than anything else by far and kept saying he loved them.

 

Ya never know. When we first started texting he would not shut up about how he didn't think his body, face or penis was attractive, and I still can't believe that such a hot guy actually came over and let me fool around with him. The only reason I wasn't scared ****less was because I was kind of drunk.