Have My Ideals Lost Me Romances

[Rejected Rosebud]

Plus many men have told me this - they would love to been a woman they thought was gorgeous - and then get to know her and fall in love with her for real.

:lmao: They would have loved to have been a gorgeous woman, LMAO!!! I know that's a typo, I know what you meant to type, men just don't say things like that Leigh unless they are at their wits end and just hoping the person they're talking to will finally just zip it and go away! If you talk to people the way you write on here, no offense, but that would likely be the reaction because you contradict yourself, repeat yourself over and over, say stuff that makes no sense and talk way way way too much about how attractive you are. Maybe you should work on your communication skills especially the listening part.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Leigh's equation: sexual instant chemistry +with a person I respect and admire + both people excited about seeing each other + long term potential based on more than the superficial

 

Other peoples formulae: meet a person they respect and admire enough to want to get to know WITHOUT any physical desire + physical desire comes later but is not instant

 

Leigh it's kind of insulting the way you don't even read the dozens or hundreds of posts people write to you to answer your questions and to try to help you, I think it's been said at least 25 times on this thread and your other one that of course people want to be attracted to their mate and have chemistry. Even right here on this page! What YOU are expressing is different and nobody thinks it's going to work mostly because it's pretty much like a 12 year old self obsessed girl's idea of love so this population won't be identifying with it, but go for it. I just can't believe you're five years older than me and a world travelled professional model with these ideas!! You might as well stop asking for advice and opinions though since you don't even bother to think about any of them.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh it's kind of insulting the way you don't even read the dozens or hundreds of posts people write to you to answer your questions and to try to help you, I think it's been said at least 25 times on this thread and your other one that of course people want to be attracted to their mate and have chemistry. Even right here on this page! What YOU are expressing is different and nobody thinks it's going to work mostly because it's pretty much like a 12 year old self obsessed girl's idea of love so this population won't be identifying with it, but go for it. I just can't believe you're five years older than me and a world travelled professional model with these ideas!! You might as well stop asking for advice and opinions though since you don't even bother to think about any of them.

 

Well I don't see anything wrong with wanting a passion filled romance when you're the type of person who is likely able to find it.

 

What I'm searching for isn't outlandish. I am into falling hard and fast rather than being lukewarm initially and it growing.

 

I am only newly single and i don't see why i won't find the style of love and relationship that best suits me and who i am.

 

You're welcome to enjoy your slower burning affairs. I am after a guy who doesn't have to " get to know me" in order to feel a high degree of lust and passion.

[anne1707]

Well I don't see anything wrong with wanting a passion filled romance when you're the type of person who is likely able to find it.

 

What I'm searching for isn't outlandish. I am into falling hard and fast rather than being lukewarm initially and it growing.

 

I am only newly single and i don't see why i won't find the style of love and relationship that best suits me and who i am.

 

You're welcome to enjoy your slower burning affairs. I am after a guy who doesn't have to " get to know me" in order to feel a high degree of lust and passion.

 

Wow Leigh. Do you have any idea how rude this post of yours is? The implication that YOU can get passion filled romance whilst others can't. Or how you are so fabulous that any man would have a high degree of list and passion for you whilst us mere mortals have to settle for something lukewarm.

 

You really do need to get over yourself especially as you are making these comments to people who are in successful long term relationships so speak from real experience as opposed to some idealistic fantasy straight out of a movie.

[BluEyeL]

I am not of the train of thought that it must be instant crazy lust or it's not going to work. Quite the opposite. I don't think that's realistic.

 

As a woman, attraction for me is very much rooted in the interactions outside of the bedroom, trusting someone, enjoying how he makes me feel over time. There must be a spark to start with but I really do not trust the crazy thing.

 

I met my ex-H when I was 18 and it was a slow burn. I've been with him until the age of 40 and sex never declined!! We were a perfect match in that area.

 

After that I've dated intensely, around 30 men or so, I read everything that's on the market on dating and I drew my own conclusions. I think expecting a man to be crazy into you immediately is not realistic. I find the "he's just not that into you" theory to be a bit....I don't know ...simplistic. How can he be "into you" when he just met you yesterday? Are you into him? Or into the idea of someone being into you? Give the man some time.

 

There is a fine line however between a man who likes you enough to constantly see you and who is likely to grow to fall in love with you, and a man who doesn't like you too much, but for whatever personal reasons just throws you crumbs and strings you along. It's up to you to balance these things out and end it with people under-interested and build it up with people who have realistic levels of interest.

 

My boyfriend took 2 months to decide he wants to be with me and build something long term, then he stepped it up gradually. I found our pace was an honest one. You know what they say: don't move too fast, if you want your love to last.

 

On the other hand, I let go men who took more than 3 months to decide, and a man who was only seeing me twice a month. I gauged those levels of interest as building up too slowly and I let go.

Edited December 9, 2014 by BluEyeL

[rester]

OP, Having chemistry or instant attraction to someone is far different than being "smitten" on a second date. I'd personally be very cautious of anyone that would be "smitten" with me after only a few meetings. There is no way to know who I am after that. And no, I've never been "smitten" by someone after only a few dates because I make sure I get to know them better before I allow myself to fall for them.

 

Of course chemistry and instant attraction are good things. I don't think anybody is arguing that. What people are saying is that what you are looking for from a man is unrealistic because there is no way to know for sure how much they are into before you get to know them better. They can tell you how much they're into you, and they can act like it, but you won't know until you spend more time with them and get to know them and can make sure they are honest and real.

 

It sounds like you're asking for permission to fall madly in love with someone on date #2, and nobody is giving you that.

 

Please try not to get so defensive and start looking at what people are posting. They are making a lot of sense.

[rester]

Being single, I have observed a few things.

 

I lost out on a potential romance a month or two ago because I assume a guy isn't into me if he isn't going full steam ahead and dropping everything in order to meet me.

 

A few men in my life have sparked this topic of discussion, as I always had the notion that there is ALWAYS "that woman" where a guy will take note from, DATE ONE and be super into her from the get go....

Some men are keen to go full steam ahead and date you after one or two meetings - they know if they feel true potential for a long term relationship and they are really into you and the idea of a relationship with you from DATE ONE. Where as other men will meet you, be into you but then want to wait until you get to know each other properly before establishing whether there is any potential.

 

I have ALWAYS believed that there will ALWAYS be those girls a man will meet, and even after the first or second meeting, the guy will be smitten; into the girl enough to want to date her and only her, and to claim her all to himself albeit not in a serious capacity (no healthy guy would go serious that early on)

 

Am I wrong though? Are ALL men capable of meeting a woman where they just think wow, she knocked my socks off, I am super interested in her and only her, I definitely want to date her?

 

Or do some men need time to establish whether or not it is just a physical fleeting thing?

 

 

I want to know if I have realistic expectations, I ruined something with a guy not so long ago because while he was clearly into me, I assumed he WASNT into me simply because he wasn't dropping everything to see me, when I hadn't seen him in one year since first meeting him and he had no reason to drop everything for me....

 

Not only do "some men need time to establish whether or not it is just a physical fleeting thing", but many men do. Men with a lot to offer aren't going to be dropping everything for a woman they've only met a few times.

 

 

 

Well I don't see anything wrong with wanting a passion filled romance when you're the type of person who is likely able to find it.

 

What I'm searching for isn't outlandish. I am into falling hard and fast rather than being lukewarm initially and it growing.

 

I am only newly single and i don't see why i won't find the style of love and relationship that best suits me and who i am.

 

You're welcome to enjoy your slower burning affairs. I am after a guy who doesn't have to " get to know me" in order to feel a high degree of lust and passion.

 

You can go after whatever type of guy you want to. Doesn't mean you don't have the potential to miss out on a great thing because the guy wasn't falling all over you or "dropping everything to see you" after the second date.

[BluEyeL]

You can have a "passion filled romance" if you just have the patience to let it happen.

[Weezy1973]

Why is it so hard for people to understand that I simply want to meet a guy, for us to both be attracted and excited about the idea of each other, and THEN.. only THEN to get to know one another and genuinely fall in love with each other beyond the superficial?

 

We all understand exactly what you want Leigh. Why is it so hard for you to understand that most long term relationships don't start this way? And that, although possible, it will likely take a longer time for you to find a long time partner if you insist on this way of doing things?

 

Why is it hard to understand that some people like myself prefer instant attraction, because frankly, we don't have to resort to dating people we don't feel sparks with?

 

Again - we all know exactly what you prefer. Why is it so hard for you to figure out that your way doesn't work the majority of the time for long term relationships?

 

When I am older and lose my looks then yes, I will select a mate based on their personality alone and I will hope that passion can be "manufactured".

 

So you're admitting that you're not going to find a long term partner using your current method until after you're "older and lose your looks." Well finally! A breakthrough!

 

For the time being, I really see no issue with the fact that I was to be viewed as desirable by the man I date from day one, rather than him being " meh whatever": about my looks?

 

OK so clearly you don't understand what it means to develop passionate feelings for someone over time. Take my relationship for example:

 

We work together. The first time I met her, I didn't think anything special of her as she was just someone I worked with. Over time, as I got to know her better, and her sense of humour, and how genuinely kind and intelligent she was, my attraction grew. By the time I asked her on a date I was crushing pretty huge and thought she was incredibly attractive and desirable. It took about a year and a half from when I first met her to having those passionate feelings. So, indeed, there were "fireworks" on date one. It just took awhile to get there.

 

And, as an FYI, couples that meet through work, school or their social circle tend to have longer lasting relationships than those that meet randomly at bars or through online dating (or meeting randomly through traveling). That's because work, school, and knowing each other through your social circle allows time for attraction to build through deeper, more meaningful characteristics. And it's those characteristics that bode well for long term relationships.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I am after a guy who doesn't have to " get to know me" in order to feel a high degree of lust and passion.

There are a whole bunch of guys who feel a high degree of lust and passion for girls with bangin' bodies like yours and I'm sure you will have no shortage of those guys in your life! Win/win right??

[anika99]

Why is it so hard for people to understand that I simply want to meet a guy, for us to both be attracted and excited about the idea of each other, and THEN.. only THEN to get to know one another and genuinely fall in love with each other beyond the superficial?

 

Why is it hard to understand that some people like myself prefer instant attraction, because frankly, we don't have to resort to dating people we don't feel sparks with?

 

When I am older and lose my looks then yes, I will select a mate based on their personality alone and I will hope that passion can be "manufactured"

 

For the time being, I really see no issue with the fact that I was to be viewed as desirable by the man I date from day one, rather than him being " meh whatever": about my looks?

 

 

For the life of me I can't figure out what this thread is about. You posted asking if maybe you were losing out on romance because you only want a man if he shows instant attraction and chemistry for you and drops everything to pursue you. That was your question and people have given both thoughtful and amazing feedback in reply to that question and yet for some reason you find it necessary to talk to people as if they are too stupid to comprehend basic English. You answer every post with an attitude of "NO YOU"RE WRONG! I'M RIGHT! WHAT I'M DOING IS BEST and YOU PEOPLE DON'T GET IT, I'M GOING TOO KEEP DOING EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING BECAUSE I KNOW I'M RIGHT!

 

 

So why did you even bother starting this thread? I don't get it. If you are so certain that you have it all figured out and you have such disdain for everyone else's opinion then what was the point of the original question. You have it all figured out so just go do what you want.

[Diezel]

Other peoples formulae: meet a person they respect and admire enough to want to get to know WITHOUT any physical desire + physical desire comes later but is not instant

 

Nope. That's your interpretation of it.

 

WRONG.

[Leigh 87]

There are a whole bunch of guys who feel a high degree of lust and passion for girls with bangin' bodies like yours and I'm sure you will have no shortage of those guys in your life! Win/win right??

 

And I'm not sure why one of those guys who are actually attracted to me from day one cant end up as a long term partner?

[Leigh 87]

We all understand exactly what you want Leigh. Why is it so hard for you to understand that most long term relationships don't start this way? And that, although possible, it will likely take a longer time for you to find a long time partner if you insist on this way of doing things?

 

 

 

Again - we all know exactly what you prefer. Why is it so hard for you to figure out that your way doesn't work the majority of the time for long term relationships?

 

 

 

So you're admitting that you're not going to find a long term partner using your current method until after you're "older and lose your looks." Well finally! A breakthrough!

 

 

 

OK so clearly you don't understand what it means to develop passionate feelings for someone over time. Take my relationship for example:

 

We work together. The first time I met her, I didn't think anything special of her as she was just someone I worked with. Over time, as I got to know her better, and her sense of humour, and how genuinely kind and intelligent she was, my attraction grew. By the time I asked her on a date I was crushing pretty huge and thought she was incredibly attractive and desirable. It took about a year and a half from when I first met her to having those passionate feelings. So, indeed, there were "fireworks" on date one. It just took awhile to get there.

 

And, as an FYI, couples that meet through work, school or their social circle tend to have longer lasting relationships than those that meet randomly at bars or through online dating (or meeting randomly through traveling). That's because work, school, and knowing each other through your social circle allows time for attraction to build through deeper, more meaningful characteristics. And it's those characteristics that bode well for long term relationships.

 

 

Why don't most long term relationships start out with some kind of natural and instant attraction?

 

I know plenty of couples who met, were attracted and felt chemistry, and felt some element of excitement over a person that met for the first time?

 

Not everyone has to "grow" to find a person attractive through coming to admire their personality.

 

Yes it will take longer for me to find a guy who not only thinks I am something special, but who then falls in love with me and who I am.

 

However, it wont take forever to simply seek out men who are actually attracted to me - and who I then go on to get to know well over time.

 

I am not the type of person who will look back and accept a relationship where " meh, he thought I was nothing special but then yeah after he fell for my PERSOINALITY, he only THEN started to find me to be attractive"

 

I don't see anything wrong with wanting to hold out for men I have a natural chemistry with - and to explore those types of men - and waiting out for one of those men to be compatible long term.

 

I have enough men that ARE actually attracted to me, so at this age, why would I bother with men who DO NOT find me attractive?

 

I don't see that the odds are slim of me having instant attraction towards a man who also feels it for me - and for one of those men to go on to be a suitable life partner?

 

I have learnt better than to let passion cloud my judgment - I am getting to know a man I felt instant fire works with slowly as it stands - we talk every day and are getting to know one another for factors outside our "sizzling chemistry".

 

So I will not be making the same mistakes that riddled my past - instant chemistry doesn't mean you the relationship should develop ANY more rapidly than if you had NO real initial sparks.

 

I understand now they chemistry and instant attraction DO NOT amount to legitimate feelings.

 

I will therefore be getting to know men slowly before investing.

[Leigh 87]

For the life of me I can't figure out what this thread is about. You posted asking if maybe you were losing out on romance because you only want a man if he shows instant attraction and chemistry for you and drops everything to pursue you. That was your question and people have given both thoughtful and amazing feedback in reply to that question and yet for some reason you find it necessary to talk to people as if they are too stupid to comprehend basic English. You answer every post with an attitude of "NO YOU"RE WRONG! I'M RIGHT! WHAT I'M DOING IS BEST and YOU PEOPLE DON'T GET IT, I'M GOING TOO KEEP DOING EXACTLY WHAT I'M DOING BECAUSE I KNOW I'M RIGHT!

 

 

So why did you even bother starting this thread? I don't get it. If you are so certain that you have it all figured out and you have such disdain for everyone else's opinion then what was the point of the original question. You have it all figured out so just go do what you want.

 

 

I was wondering how many couples were actually instantly attracted.

 

It saddens me that many weren't even attracted to one another until they had to get to know their personalities - for me, romantic attraction is natural and fairly instant, and THEN it grows into real love later on through mutual admiration and adoration.

 

 

People have told me to give guys a shot even if I was not initially attracted to them sexually, nor excited about the prospect of dating them!

 

I have come to the conclusion that, although it may take a year or two longer, I would rather find a guy who is attracted to me instantly, and whom doesn't have to fall for me BEFORE he finds me attractive.

 

I simply prefer instant fire works and chemistry -

 

The couple I know who had instant fire works and instant attraction that are still together - they have a FAR MORE passionate relationship sex wise - their sex is MIND BLOWING compared to the couples I know who had to " grow over time" to even be attracted to one another!

 

I feel like people who are attractive to enough people - should be able to find a meaningful relationship that was based on instant attraction and lead to something meaningful and real, easily enough.

 

I am baffled that so many people on here seem to think that it is rare for most couples to have actually been attracted to one another WITHOUT having to get to know one another first?

[Leigh 87]

What I have learnt from loves shack is that it is not really feasible to be smitten for a normal adult after a date or two.

 

Smitten = lust. Two normal healthy adults cannot truly be smitten after a few dates - it is the chemistry talking.

 

I can see that couples who had fire works - myself included - mistake the natural passion for true passion and true feelings.

 

I certainly wasn't so smitten with the prick who disappeared on me and turned out to be a total @ss wipe - the one who I had sizzling chemistry with from moment ONE.

 

Still though - although I HAVE learnt a few new things from posting here surrounding the matter of instant fire works versus a slow burn- I AM STILL going to be seeking out the men who ARE actually attracted to me from the get go.

 

I will just be sensible about it - and get to know men - likely multi date - so that I don't jump into anything IN SPITE OF the instant chemistry.

 

I will still never go on second dates with men who I am "meh whatever" about - I will ask to be their friend if they are remarkable men (like the guy with a few degrees that I recently met who is really lovely to chat with about such a diverse range of topics).

[tippydog90]

Did you ever stop to think that this instant attraction you keep referring to is solely based on physical appearance and not anything to do with who you actually are as a person? Men of maturity, substance and character typically seek out something more than just an instant attraction based on appearance alone. You sound incredibly shallow to me. Are you just looking for men that are ready to instantaneously have sex with you? Because those are primarily the men you will attract with the attitude you have. But this message has already been conveyed over and over on this thread.

[Rejected Rosebud]

And I'm not sure why one of those guys who are actually attracted to me from day one cant end up as a long term partner?

Leigh now I'm starting to think that you are being obtuse on purpose, are you?? A guy who is attracted enough to you to have sex with you sure might end up in a relationship with you, but your idea that he is "smitten" at first sight is just fantasy, he was not "smitten," he just thought you were hot. You are going to need a lot lot lot more than your bangin' body and teeth to keep any quality guy around after having sex with you and so far you aren't showing any reasons why they would, yes, sure you claim to be "nice" but that combined with a nice butt is not enough. Your idea about relationships really is like a 12 year old's and relationship minded guys won't like that I promise you but it wont stand in the way of acting on lust, because of your butt etc.

[Rejected Rosebud]

OMG Leigh!!!!! :mad: Will you PLEASE stop saying that nobody agrees that people should be attracted to each other! I have pointed out to you at least 3 times that it has not been said even one time, yes some people grow into attraction but probably most of us have that chemistry and following that we GROW into having a relationship with that person. There are lots of guys I've had chemistry with where nothing ever came of it, chemistry is exciting but it happens ALL. THE. TIME. Real connections are more rare and special. One thing I promise you 100% for sure - unless you can get past your obsession with how attractive you are and how that is going to support any kind of a relationship for you you are going to have a big disappointment for a long time!!! What you are describing is not real, it's exactly like a fairy tale, like the prince saw sleeping beauty and he knew that she needed to be his queen, or same with snow white, or cinderella and the prince getting "smitten" :sick: with her, these are FAKE STORIES and you are almost 30!!! Time to step up and be a woman!

[Leigh 87]

Did you ever stop to think that this instant attraction you keep referring to is solely based on physical appearance and not anything to do with who you actually are as a person? Men of maturity, substance and character typically seek out something more than just an instant attraction based on appearance alone. You sound incredibly shallow to me. Are you just looking for men that are ready to instantaneously have sex with you? Because those are primarily the men you will attract with the attitude you have. But this message has already been conveyed over and over on this thread.

 

I know that if a guy is attracted to me instantly that it is purely physical.

 

It isn't shallow to want a future partner to be attracted to me when he first meets me.

 

I also want a deeper connection of course. I was thinking a man to fall for who I am.

 

However, I happen to have the preference that this a partner is attracted to me from day one.

 

It isn't shallow to watch the a man who I date to actually be attracted to me naturally opposed to not thinking of was anything special and having tto grow to even find me attractive.

 

I'm not being shallow at all..I still want to a proper romance where we grow to love one another based on our personalities.

[Leigh 87]

OMG Leigh!!!!! :mad: Will you PLEASE stop saying that nobody agrees that people should be attracted to each other! I have pointed out to you at least 3 times that it has not been said even one time, yes some people grow into attraction but probably most of us have that chemistry and following that we GROW into having a relationship with that person. There are lots of guys I've had chemistry with where nothing ever came of it, chemistry is exciting but it happens ALL. THE. TIME. Real connections are more rare and special. One thing I promise you 100% for sure - unless you can get past your obsession with how attractive you are and how that is going to support any kind of a relationship for you you are going to have a big disappointment for a long time!!! What you are describing is not real, it's exactly like a fairy tale, like the prince saw sleeping beauty and he knew that she needed to be his queen, or same with snow white, or cinderella and the prince getting "smitten" :sick: with her, these are FAKE STORIES and you are almost 30!!! Time to step up and be a woman!

 

 

 

I've already stated the I now realize that a healthy man doesn't just drop anything nor do they even smitten instantaneously. It's all physical for the first month or so. Lust.

 

I'm actually talking to long distance guy and although he was smitten with MY LOOKS ..... He was really into the IDEA OF MY LOOKS...

 

......I have learnt that he didn't just drop everything to chase me, a girl he met once or twice.

 

He is still into me and the idea of dating me.... but he proved to me that he had kids and work dramas to attend to.. While he keeps in daily contact. ... He his dealing with personal issues and still telling me that yes he wants to see me..He thinks of me.. but he won't drop his life in order to see me at this stage.

 

So yeah I am following advice. Rather than ruling this guy out... just becaus he hasn't put his life on hold for me, a girl he's met briefly twice... I am still responding to his texts and ccalls daily. I am still keen to meet him next week or so and see where it goes.

 

We started out with intense physical fireworks. However, we have been forced due to the 3 hour distance and his kids and work and his work situation, to get to know one aanother outside of the bedroom........

 

It is only after a month ...After our first meeting. .. that we have both started to develop true feelings. I tried to go on dates with other men while he was dealing wwith hisdramas at work ...but I've realized that I feel for long distance guy. He seems to feel the same.

 

So yeah. I've just experienced a man who I had instant fire works with and who I am actually getting to know via talking to him daily with no sex involved.

 

And I'm still pursuing him....even though he didn't just drop everything in order to start dating me.

 

I got my fire works. I have also not let the fireworks dictate to me whether he is relationship material. I am getting to know him. It's only now that we both seem to realize that we have a genuine connection.

 

I had no idea if he was a suitable dating prospect initially IN SPITE OF our instant fireworks. ......

 

it's only this last day that it has bit me...I may genuinely like him on a level that extends behind our chemistry. ...

[tippydog90]

Did you ever think that perhaps they "are" attracted to you, just not making that incredibly obvious by doing cartwheels and flips until they actually get to know the kind of person you are. You just think because they don't immediately show this intense attraction means they are not extremely attracted to you. That may not be the case at all, perhaps they want to know if your personality sucks before showing you how they really feel. Something to consider and in all likelihood the case. If I were extremely attracted to a man, I wouldn't want to start doing backflips in front of him until I figured out if he was an obnoxious jerk first.

[Leigh 87]

I have a lot to offer a guy in terms of conversation, my interests, I enjoy talking about them a day I eenjoy learning about their jjobs and fields of study...

 

Men and women alike tell me that I'm super easyto ttalk to and that they love how I have a curious mind.

 

I just so happen to watch the a future partner to be aattracted to me from day one. This isn't a big ask when your under 30.

 

 

Then I have no doubt that I have enough to offer to keep the right match.

 

I also don't expect a guy to drop everything and be smitten from day one.

 

I think I've ready stated several times that I now realize that THAT part of my pprevious romantic ideals is NOT HEALTHY.

 

I have learnt that grown men don't become smitten or drop everything for a girl they have just met.

 

What I am after is a genuine connection that starts out in physical attraction. And then happens to become a deep and loving relationship based on who I am. And who he is...and how we connect.

[Leigh 87]

Did you ever think that perhaps they "are" attracted to you, just not making that incredibly obvious by doing cartwheels and flips until they actually get to know the kind of person you are. You just think because they don't immediately show this intense attraction means they are not extremely attracted to you. That may not be the case at all, perhaps they want to know if your personality sucks before showing you how they really feel. Something to consider and in all likelihood the case. If I were extremely attracted to a man, I wouldn't want to start doing backflips in front of him until I figured out if he was an obnoxious jerk first.

 

 

I am in a new phase of dating where I now get to know a man before ii pon any hope or excitement surrounding dating him....

 

Trust me. I know alll too well how guys whom you're attracted to can turn out to be pricks whom don't respect or value you....

 

I'm getting to know this latest guy slowly. Due to his lifesstyle and distance between us. ..we have had to talk for a month before we have decided to date. All we had to go by was intense physical attraction. It'sggood as have been forced due to circumstances to get to know one another before even agreeing to date.