Ignoring Men Who Are Hot

[brakco]

Leigh, the majority of your threads would make for the most dangerous drinking game of all time. Seriously. You repeat yourself so often and listen to none of the advice given to you. If I were to take a drink for every time you talk about your "desirable looks" and "hot body" I would be in the hospital for alcohol poisoning after the first page.

[snowflakes88]

Leigh, the majority of your threads would make for the most dangerous drinking game of all time. Seriously. You repeat yourself so often and listen to none of the advice given to you. If I were to take a drink for every time you talk about your "desirable looks" and "hot body" I would be in the hospital for alcohol poisoning after the first page.

 

So much this. LOL. No matter the topic, you can bet there will be at least 5-10 posts devoted to her straight teeth and great smile and amazing curvy-yet-slim body blah blah blah blah blah. Never fails.

[Leigh 87]

Why would I listen to people who tell me to date men who I am not excited about and whom I don't have " I want to date you" feelings for?

 

Why would I change who I am, which is wanting the instant excitement with a guy?

[Leigh 87]

So are you honestly attracted to overweight balding guys or is it just that you want somebody to worship you and give you constant validation and attention 100% of the time which you don't think a "hot" guy would?

 

 

No, some hot guys find me to be attractive. Just far less of them than the average guys.

[Leigh 87]

Why go FWB?

 

 

What value do you hold in yourself?

 

 

To any FWB you are displaying no value in yourself.

 

 

FWB can genuinely like you as a person, care about your wellbeing, and think you are hot.

 

They just don't want a long term relationship with you.

 

It doesn't mean they don't find you girlfriend material - in the sense that there is nothing about me that falls short for such men.

 

It is not because I am not hot enough or not funny enough or not interesting enough that they don't want me...

 

They just lack that " she is the one wow factor".

 

Guys I am FWB with are the types who hold out for the genuine connection that transcends looks.

[Leigh 87]

FWB are because I am not going to find a man whom I have chemistry with and who is actually a nice guy who is into me anytime soon.

 

Rather than go without sex for years, which is how long it will take me to find instant and natural chemistry with a suitable mate, I would rather still enjoy sex occasionally.

 

People against FWB assume that the guys we do it with don't think we are "good enough" to date.

 

That is far from the truth - They just don't " feel it" with us in terms of an emotional connection - doesn't mean they think we are " not hot enough" or " not intelligent enough" or " not funny enough" in order to date.

[Leigh 87]

So much this. LOL. No matter the topic, you can bet there will be at least 5-10 posts devoted to her straight teeth and great smile and amazing curvy-yet-slim body blah blah blah blah blah. Never fails.

 

 

I say it because it clearly demonstrates that I don't encounter men who just say that they are attracted to me in order to get laid - I go for men who ARE, which is not exactly hard to believe since I have the assets ( I never said I was that great just a standard 7/10)

[Leigh 87]

Anyway - the hot guy whom I was FWB with - we basically dated when I was still into another guy, the Berlin guy and after he fell through..

 

And the hot FWB guy was also still involved with another women albeit they had no commitment at that stage.

 

He made my life richer because I love being around him and I enjoyed the intimacy physically speaking.

 

I am the type of person who can have feelings for someone and yet without thinking they are the love of my life - I can easily break away from people I have feelings for.

 

I do meet men I fall for too much and cannot have a FWB with of course.

 

Some people are just capable of really liking a person and thinking very highly of them, and yet not getting attached.

 

My hot FWB was upset when I first found a man whom I wanted to date as we had gotten close; I missed his company but you know, I didn't cry over it or anything close.

 

It is very rare but FWB can work if you both really like each others personalities AND think each other is hot - when it is a case of simply not being the great loves of each others lives, but still : good enough: in theory.

 

So far, my FWB with the hot guy has enhanced my life not detracted from my worth or value.

 

I can see that most women assume that enjoying sex is slutty and lessons your value unless it is in the context of a loving relationship.

 

That is fine but please don't try to tell me to change my life style choices and don't assume that a woman doesn't value herself simply because she doesn't choose to remain abstinent until "the one" comes alone.

 

I will probably date this former FWB since we are both 100% single now as we do have feelings for one another but we are just... he is fresh out of a break up hence me wanting to keep it casual.

 

We have yet to meet up since his break up.

[snowflakes88]

People against FWB assume that the guys we do it with don't think we are "good enough" to date.

 

That is far from the truth - They just don't " feel it" with us in terms of an emotional connection - doesn't mean they think we are " not hot enough" or " not intelligent enough" or " not funny enough" in order to date.

 

Um, there are plenty of men who have FWB arrangements with women for these reasons (and the same goes for women ---> men).

[Chemist]

Um, there are plenty of men who have FWB arrangements with women for these reasons (and the same goes for women ---> men).

 

Leigh, I am a beautifully chubby man, with a super cute face, great laugh and I cuddle like a champ. I am feeling insanely head over heels for your personality. Want to go on a date!?

 

:lmao::lmao::bunny::bunny:

[Andy_K]

So much this. LOL. No matter the topic, you can bet there will be at least 5-10 posts devoted to her straight teeth and great smile and amazing curvy-yet-slim body blah blah blah blah blah. Never fails.

 

I was going to say he forgot the teeth, but you got there first

[brakco]

I was going to say he forgot the teeth, but you got there first

 

*she

 

I'm surprised at myself for forgetting. I mean, the teeth thing has been drilled into all our heads by now (no pun intended).

[Rejected Rosebud]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rejected Rosebud

So are you honestly attracted to overweight balding guys or is it just that you want somebody to worship you and give you constant validation and attention 100% of the time which you don't think a "hot" guy would?

 

No, some hot guys find me to be attractive. Just far less of them than the average guys.

Haha Leigh, do you realize you didn't even answer my question? I didn't ask about who finds you attractive! But I guess in a way you did answer my question, all you care about is somebody acting all gaga over you! What is really too bad is how many years of your life you are gonna waste clinging onto your fairytale delusions. And let me repeat for emphasis:NOBODY SAID YOU SHOULDN'T DATE A MAN YOU FEEL CHEMISTRY WITH. NOBODY. Nobody! Nobody said that, okay?

[PegNosePete]

Why would I listen to people who tell me to date men who I am not excited about and whom I don't have " I want to date you" feelings for?

For the same reason that anyone would change any element of their behaviour.

 

Because it isn't working for them. Is your current strategy working for you? If so, good, keep doing it! If not - time for a change?

[MidwestUSA]

I will probably date this former FWB since we are both 100% single now as we do have feelings for one another but we are just... he is fresh out of a break up hence me wanting to keep it casual.

 

 

So, you're going to date someone.

 

 

Does he fit the requirements? Is he SMITTEN? Can he hardly wait to see you again? Does he call and text often to let you know he's thinking of you?

 

 

Do you feel that INSTANT SPARK and CHEMISTRY with him? Because if not, you're contradicting yourself yet again, and dating someone who doesn't flip that switch for you. You just got done telling us that we're insisting you date guys who aren't instantly HEAD OVER HEELS (and no one here has said that), but now you're going to do exactly that?

 

 

[Leigh 87]

Well I've ggone and put myself out of my comfort zone.

 

 

I went and got a hot guys number.

 

He was playing drums at a concert last night. His mates said he was a really nice guy and that they would love to see him date a nice girl like myself.

 

So. I went and talked to him.

 

He just texted me and wants to hang out tonight.

[clia]

Well I've ggone and put myself out of my comfort zone.

 

I went and got a hot guys number.

 

He was playing drums at a concert last night. His mates said he was a really nice guy and that they would love to see him date a nice girl like myself.

 

So. I went and talked to him.

 

He just texted me and wants to hang out tonight.

 

I assume you already have plans for Saturday night? (I think "tonight" is Saturday night where you are?)

 

Don't have sex with him!

[Leigh 87]

I've decided that I would like to stick to dating men I am genuinely into formmore than just sex

 

 

Yeah the hot drummer who is 36 (im 28) texted me after we both said goodbye to each other last night and he asked if I want to see him tonight.

 

I didn't go for him initially as I didn't think I he'd be interested.

 

His friends told me what a nice guy he was so I just flirted and went for it.

 

I enjoy dating and don't mind rejection so going on a date or two will definitely be well worth any ensuing rejection.

 

I mean. ..I'll just be myself. Nothing to lose!

[Leigh 87]

The guys that are either hot or the ones who are the hot but who I'm still really into, tend to show less interest or their interest dies down fast.....

 

The that don't excite me are the ones who most often text me AS SOON as I text them and often.

 

Hot drummer Boy lives around the corner from me and like me he has plenty of hobbies and interests.

 

He texted me once last night saying " nice to meet you we should do something tomorrow night if you have nothing on"

 

I texted back that I have work but I would like to catch up with him after.

 

He hasn't responded a day it's 1.20 pm.

 

So the hot guys aren't as into me as the men I feel no spark for.

 

The non hot men who I feel chemistry with also lose interest fast or have none to begin with.

 

I am newly single and meet men easily so far...so I'm sure I will not have to resort to the poor guys who show a keen interest in me and yet who I feel absolutely no excitement for.

[CrystalCastles]

The guys that are either hot or the ones who are the hot but who I'm still really into, tend to show less interest or their interest dies down fast.....

 

The that don't excite me are the ones who most often text me AS SOON as I text them and often.

 

Hot drummer Boy lives around the corner from me and like me he has plenty of hobbies and interests.

 

He texted me once last night saying " nice to meet you we should do something tomorrow night if you have nothing on"

 

I texted back that I have work but I would like to catch up with him after.

 

He hasn't responded a day it's 1.20 pm.

 

So the hot guys aren't as into me as the men I feel no spark for.

 

The non hot men who I feel chemistry with also lose interest fast or have none to begin with.

 

I am newly single and meet men easily so far...so I'm sure I will not have to resort to the poor guys who show a keen interest in me and yet who I feel absolutely no excitement for.

 

Dude, breathe. Relax. The guy probably has a life. He'll get back to you.

[Leigh 87]

The guys I date are the guys where...I get excite if they text and hearing from them puts me in a very good mood.

 

The guys I don't have instant and natural chemistry with.. they text and I just don't light up. I feel the same quay as though my mum or a friend texted. Even though I love the guys personality.

 

So it's not a hot guy problem. The long distance guy has lost interest in me and he ain't hot in the stereotyped sense.

 

Non hot men have lost interest or just not been into me for more than sex.

 

May as well give the hotties a chance.

[Leigh 87]

Dude, breathe. Relax. The guy probably has a life. He'll get back to you.

 

Oh no... He isn't interested. It's 5 pm.

 

 

The two men I feel excited about don't text. Where as I have a bevy of men who would happily and excitedly text me all day.

 

The men who think I'm amazing I have no excitement towards.

 

Ah well I've not been single one and I'm sure one of the dudes I'm actually excited about meeting will eventually be into me.

[readynow]

FWB are because I am not going to find a man whom I have chemistry with and who is actually a nice guy who is into me anytime soon.

 

Rather than go without sex for years, which is how long it will take me to find instant and natural chemistry with a suitable mate, I would rather still enjoy sex occasionally.

.

 

How do you know how long it will take you to 'find' a man with whom you'd have 'instant' chemistry? Instant chemistry is the easiest thing to find - plenty of ONS exist to prove this. What is difficult to find but enduring and lasting is compatibility and deep connection.

 

So in the mean time, you're sleeping with men who you know don't see you as a keeper or worth loving. You're shooting yourself on both feet by doing this. Lose-lose situation.

 

I also hope you're not constantly going on and on about looks when you're with people in real life. It's intensely unattractive when in this day and age, people are looking more and more for what is beneath the surface and unseen.

[Leigh 87]

How do you know how long it will take you to 'find' a man with whom you'd have 'instant' chemistry? Instant chemistry is the easiest thing to find - plenty of ONS exist to prove this. What is difficult to find but enduring and lasting is compatibility and deep connection.

 

So in the mean time, you're sleeping with men who you know don't see you as a keeper or worth loving. You're shooting yourself on both feet by doing this. Lose-lose situation.

 

I also hope you're not constantly going on and on about looks when you're with people in real life. It's intensely unattractive when in this day and age, people are looking more and more for what is beneath the surface and unseen.

 

 

 

Why do they Fwb this kind km a keeper or worth loving ?

 

 

Maybe they think I have a lot going for me but they just don't feel it for me?

 

I am sure they thought I was hot enough to date seriously .

 

You don't seem to understand Fwb. It isnnot always a case of it finding the person to be a keeper.

[Leigh 87]

Hot older drummer guy blew me off.

 

 

He texted me last night to say " nice meet you want to hang out tomorrow"

 

Then tonight he texted saying " so sorry Leigh my mum organized a family dinner that I only just got informed of..I sort of should go..another time maybe ?? Sorry for stuffing u around.

 

 

 

 

Don't worry I know he is blowing me off lol ..........

 

I just said " cool just me know if you'd like to catch up see other time "

 

He responded with " sorry again. .. I am keen to catch up...just not tonight. .."

 

 

 

 

Dw I know he isn't that keen on me.

 

 

It was fun talking to a guy I thought was hot by simply going after what I wanted.

 

I always do go after the men I want but I avoid the hot ones that I know get all the pretty girls.