Ignoring Men Who Are Hot

[Revolver]

Average women can have flings with men who are hot(see groupies) but can't date them.

[Leigh 87]

Average women can have flings with men who are hot(see groupies) but can't date them.

 

Yes but what if a hot guy also finds me attractive?

 

I don't want to brush all hot guys off simply because the majority of them probably won't think I'm good enough to date.

[elaine567]

Average women can have flings with men who are hot(see groupies) but can't date them.

 

That is rubbish.

Self-absorbed, superficial people ie celebrities and idiots see looks as everything, but IRL not so much.

[nofeelings22]

When it comes to dating, how important is it for women to date within their league?

 

I don't want to be pessimistic, however; if a guy is beautiful by societies standards, I would be taken aback if they showed interest in me as I would gather that I was only attractive enough for them to have sex with and that is all.

 

I go for men who are cute but not hot (but to ME I feel huge chemistry with them still!)

 

The other day at work a cute guy I seem to have chemistry with came to talk to me- he always comes to chat to me, he knows where I work and he comes there without fail to buy me a lemonade as I work in the heat.

 

He is "hot" though so I didn't bother acting that interested since look, I am a cute girl but I am far from beautiful.

 

Am I being cynical? I mean, do hot guys go for women who aren't beautiful or their equal?

 

Am I sensible in that I go for guys who are over weight and who don't get the beautiful girls? Guys who are hot to ME but yeah, you get what I am saying...

 

No, no no! lol

 

All people, male or female, are attracted to different types amd will date and marry all sorts of various partners.

 

I was a total awkward, skinny geek in honors classes, physics independent study, had some acne issues, but my long term hs girlfriend was the captain of the varsity chearleaders.

 

I did skate and snowboard and sat at the cool table, but I sure wasn't pretty!!! lol

 

It's a big, wild mix with people looking for whatever.

 

Just let it happen without over thinking. Too much strategy overall. Relax and enjoy meeting people.

 

And don't underestimate cute!! A cute girl is way more attractive to most men, especially for a relationship, than a hot, stripper type.

[PegNosePete]

won't think I'm good enough to date.

What does that even mean? It makes no sense.

 

Do you really think intelligent, mature guys judge women "good enough to date" or "good enough to f*k" based purely on how attractive they are? Maybe some boys in the school yard, but any man who has more emotional maturity then a blancmange will not think like this.

[Imported]

Everybody is after the same thing.

 

Some people just gave up and rationalize why it's OK they won't get it and how they are somehow morally superior, as well as demean others that don't agree with them.

[Got it]

There is so much more than instant attraction. Attraction should grow or diminish based on the person's personality, character, and intellect.

 

Truly pretty is as pretty does.

 

It seems like you are doing what some of the men here do and think if you can put a certain equation together it should increase your guarantee of finding a long lasting partner.

 

My advice on that, stop looking externally and start looking internally. Do you bring to the table the intellect, maturity, compassion, and authenticity to offer a good long standing relationship to someone? And do they?

[Got it]

Up in the Air Quote:

 

When I was 16, I thought by 23 I'd be married, maybe have a kid, corner office by day, entertaining at night. I was supposed to be driving a Grand Cherokee by now.

 

 

Life can underwhelm you that way.

 

 

I mean, where did you think you'd be by um...

 

 

It doesn't work that way.- At a certain point, you stop with the deadlines. It can be a little counterproductive.

 

 

I don't want to say anything that's anti-feminist. I really appreciate everything that your generation did for me.

 

 

It was our pleasure.- Well done.

 

 

But sometimes it feels like, no matter how much success I have, it's not gonna matter until I find the right guy.

 

 

You really thought this guy was the one?

 

 

I could have made it work. He um... He really fit the bill. You know?

 

- The bill?

 

 

White collar, college grad. Loves dogs, likes funny movies. Six-foot-one, brown hair, kind eyes, works in finance but is outdoorsy... you know, on the weekends. I always imagined he'd have a single syllable name like Matt or John... or Dave. In a perfect world, he drives a 4Runner, and and the only thing he loves more than me is his Golden Lab. And a nice smile. What about you?

 

- Let me think.

 

 

You know, honestly, by the time you're 34, all the physical requirements just go out the window. Like you secretly pray that he'll be taller than you. Not an a%%hole would be nice. Just someone who enjoys my company, comes from a good family. You don't think about that when you're younger. I don't know... someone who wants kids. Likes kids. Wants kids Healthy enough to play with his kids. Please let him earn more money than I do. You might not understand that now, but believe me, you will one day. Otherwise that's a recipe for disaster. And hopefully some hair on his head. But I mean even that's not a deal breaker these days. A nice smile. Yeah, a nice smile. Nice smile just might do it.

 

 

Wow, that was depressing. I should just date women.

 

- Tried it. We're no picnic ourselves.

 

 

I don't mind being married to my career. And I don't expect it to hold me in bed as I fall asleep. I just don't want to settle.

 

 

You're young. Right now you see settling as some sort of a failure.

 

 

It is...by definition.

 

 

Yeah, but by the time someone is right for you, it won't feel like settling. And the only person left to judge you will be the 23-year-old girl with a target on your back.

[Robert Z]

There is so much more than instant attraction. Attraction should grow or diminish based on the person's personality, character, and intellect.

 

 

Do you think people choose to be attracted to someone else?

 

Truly pretty is as pretty does.

 

 

Now that is true. I've seen a supermodel go from gorgeous to unappealing in a sentence - as soon as she opened her mouth.

[d0nnivain]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If a guy is a approaching a woman, it's because he's attracted to her. If a woman thinks a hot guy is coming on to her because he wants to use her for sex, she needs to work on her self esteem.

 

 

Unlike women, some guys aren't as aware of their own looks. My husband is movie star handsome, drop dead gorgeous. He looks like a player. . . a cross between Patrick Dempsy & Pierce Brosnon. When I met him, he had no idea he was good looking. Normal women rarely approached him but he did get hit on by a lot of aggressive alpha females who he did not like (Ironically I am an alpha female). All of my friends explained that they never would have talked to him because he was too good looking & guys who look like him use women. (So OP you are not alone in your thinking; you & my friends are just wrong)

 

 

If some gorgeous guy flirts with you, flirt back. You will be able to tell in a short while whether he's genuine or not. If he is, enjoy. If he's not, walk away. But to reject him because of what he looks like is nuts.

[Toodaloo]

 

Am I being cynical? I mean, do hot guys go for women who aren't beautiful or their equal?

 

 

Hot guys go for women who are confident, happy and fun to be with.

 

The same as not so hot guys really.

 

Having seen a very "hot", good looking guy (Tom Cruise hasn't got a patch) go from very good looking to pig ugly after a car crash I would guess that looks in the long term are not that important... Funny thing is he still has a great personality... Funny that. He is also now dating a stunner who is pleased as punch to be seen with him and adores the ground he walks on. They are having a baby soon...

 

People have feelings and emotions regardless of their score out of 10 on the "hot" scale... Perhaps if more people respected that it might not be so difficult...

[most_distant_galaxy]

I definetely prefer when someone with options approaches me. If it blooms into a relationship then I will be more confident that he really likes me for me.

 

On the other hand I am more cautious with men who don't have options. Whenever I dated such men, I felt that I wasnt the best option for them.

 

And a fact: even handsome men may have twisted, unconventional tastes. Emotional responses to a woman's face, smile, body, aren't always correlated to a man's appearance. So why would you limit your pool of candidates?

[Got it]

Do you think people choose to be attracted to someone else?

 

 

 

 

Now that is true. I've seen a supermodel go from gorgeous to unappealing in a sentence - as soon as she opened her mouth.

 

Of course physical has some degree of impact. Absolutely. But, just as you stated, who they are, will greatly impact it.

 

Give me a fairly attractive man and a witty sense of humor, intellect, and good debater and I am getting hot under the collar.

 

I do think you can have some power over attraction and can control how attracted you are to someone. Sure, I can see someone that is pleasing on the eyes based on symmetry of features, western dictation of aesthetic good looks, etc but that is it.

 

And for me, it breaks down so much to eyes. I am attracted to dark eyes, lashes, and dark hair. You can put Brad Pitt in front of me and I am meh about him. I personally have never been attracted to "pretty boys" and am more of a younger John Cusak type.

[Rejected Rosebud]

Nothing is wrong with it.

 

I personally prefer instant attraction and instant chemistry.

 

I find that long term, it helps if there is true passion, rather than passion that has to be worked on really, really hard.

Leigh this does not make any sense in the context of this thread of yours!! Instant attraction and chemistry has NOTHING TO DO with your planning to ignore hot guys, plan to go for below average looking guys so they will be in awe of you, etc. That is a convoluted mess! Just go back to square one and if you are interested and attracted to a guy take some time to get to know him and see how things go between you, maybe he'll be attracted to you and maybe he won't, you can't be in control of those things!!

[JuneJulySeptember]

When it comes to dating, how important is it for women to date within their league?

 

I don't want to be pessimistic, however; if a guy is beautiful by societies standards, I would be taken aback if they showed interest in me as I would gather that I was only attractive enough for them to have sex with and that is all.

 

I go for men who are cute but not hot (but to ME I feel huge chemistry with them still!)

 

The other day at work a cute guy I seem to have chemistry with came to talk to me- he always comes to chat to me, he knows where I work and he comes there without fail to buy me a lemonade as I work in the heat.

 

He is "hot" though so I didn't bother acting that interested since look, I am a cute girl but I am far from beautiful.

 

Am I being cynical? I mean, do hot guys go for women who aren't beautiful or their equal?

 

Am I sensible in that I go for guys who are over weight and who don't get the beautiful girls? Guys who are hot to ME but yeah, you get what I am saying...

 

This is pretty much identical to the thread that I created although I was getting chopped down in my thread.

 

The only difference is that you are average/cute and I am lower.

 

My question to you is "As a cute/average woman, what does it matter?"

 

You can get cute/average guys and you know they are attracted to you. Ain't that enough for ya?

 

Especially online, you will without a doubt meet cute guys if you are at least an average woman.

[GoodOnPaper]

On the other hand I am more cautious with men who don't have options. Whenever I dated such men, I felt that I wasnt the best option for them.

 

But by definition, wouldn't you have been their best option???

 

I think leagues are much more of a concern for men than women. Women seem to have a way of focusing in on their own individual attraction triggers, so why would leagues matter as long as she's satisfied with the choices she gets from the pool of men she meets, regardless of how objectively "hot" these men are?

[Tayken]

Leigh this does not make any sense in the context of this thread of yours!! Instant attraction and chemistry has NOTHING TO DO with your planning to ignore hot guys, plan to go for below average looking guys so they will be in awe of you, etc. That is a convoluted mess! Just go back to square one and if you are interested and attracted to a guy take some time to get to know him and see how things go between you, maybe he'll be attracted to you and maybe he won't, you can't be in control of those things!!

 

 

I hear you...don't forget it was Leigh who made it known here that they guy she was dating recently is all over her, and treats her better than the other guys she has dated...I believe she met his family too.

 

If this is NOT head games, then I don't know what. I mean to think because you are ignoring a guy, that will make him go ga-ga over you is so teenager-like way of thinking.

 

A lot of girls/women are going to end up alone, and by the time they realize that it is from their own doings, it will be too late.

[FitChick]

My husband is movie star handsome, drop dead gorgeous. He looks like a player. When I met him, he had no idea he was good looking.

Sounds like a Virgo

[Leigh 87]

I hear you...don't forget it was Leigh who made it known here that they guy she was dating recently is all over her, and treats her better than the other guys she has dated...I believe she met his family too.

 

If this is NOT head games, then I don't know what. I mean to think because you are ignoring a guy, that will make him go ga-ga over you is so teenager-like way of thinking.

 

A lot of girls/women are going to end up alone, and by the time they realize that it is from their own doings, it will be too late.

 

 

Except I would rather be single for ever than be with him.

 

 

I think it's sad to date me just because they are really crazy about you.

 

You have to actually want to be with them too.

[Leigh 87]

This is pretty much identical to the thread that I created although I was getting chopped down in my thread.

 

The only difference is that you are average/cute and I am lower.

 

My question to you is "As a cute/average woman, what does it matter?"

 

You can get cute/average guys and you know they are attracted to you. Ain't that enough for ya?

 

Especially online, you will without a doubt meet cute guys if you are at least an average woman.

 

 

 

I am very commonly referred to as hot. By friends of both sexes.

 

When in a bikini I'm considered hot to the majority.

 

So plenty of guys find me hot.

 

The problem lies with that I'm not beautiful in the face and it's my body that gets me my hot rating in combination with my fave. ...

 

So I simply need to go for my equal or below.....

 

 

 

I can get hot guys but I guess just not the REALLY good looking ones. The guys who are cute and chubby are more to my liking than hot guys though which i think serves me well..

[Leigh 87]

No, no no! lol

 

All people, male or female, are attracted to different types amd will date and marry all sorts of various partners.

 

I was a total awkward, skinny geek in honors classes, physics independent study, had some acne issues, but my long term hs girlfriend was the captain of the varsity chearleaders.

 

I did skate and snowboard and sat at the cool table, but I sure wasn't pretty!!! lol

 

It's a big, wild mix with people looking for whatever.

 

Just let it happen without over thinking. Too much strategy overall. Relax and enjoy meeting people.

 

And don't underestimate cute!! A cute girl is way more attractive to most men, especially for a relationship, than a hot, stripper type.

 

 

 

 

My body is the hot stripper type.

 

I made thousands as a swimwear model and got sent overseas for it.

 

It's my face, as you can see in my album, that is not beautiful to the majority. I have great teeth and lips so a plenty of people do find me attractive just not the majority I'm certain.

 

So I consider myself to be a plain Jane with a great smile that happens to have a porn star body.

[sillyanswer]

My body is the hot stripper type.

 

I made thousands as a swimwear model and got sent overseas for it.

 

It's my face, as you can see in my album, that is not beautiful to the majority. I have great teeth and lips so a plenty of people do find me attractive just not the majority I'm certain.

 

So I consider myself to be a plain Jane with a great smile that happens to have a porn star body.

 

I rushed to your profile hoping to see your hot stripper type porn star body in a swimsuit...

[Rejected Rosebud]

My body is the hot stripper type.

 

I made thousands as a swimwear model and got sent overseas for it.

Was this when you were a teenager because you've been posting here for years and you said you were very sick and hospitalized before that? I guess I am doubting you about this, but anyway it is really not cool for you to keep talking about how hot your body is, you can notice that none of the other women on here do it because it's just … not done.

[Phoe]

I've never been in a position where I could "turn down", or ignore a very hot guy, but if a "hot" guy did pursue me, I too would likely feel taken aback, and likely wouldn't feel comfortable and would end up passing on that opportunity.

[Leigh 87]

Was this when you were a teenager because you've been posting here for years and you said you were very sick and hospitalized before that? I guess I am doubting you about this, but anyway it is really not cool for you to keep talking about how hot your body is, you can notice that none of the other women on here do it because it's just … not done.

 

 

 

It is very common for models to starve themselves. I was no exception.

 

And it is fine for me to be honest about the sort of body I have - I am highlighting that yes, hot guys for my body which poses a real issue: my face isn't beautiful.

 

SO yeah, I do have to be mindful that while my body garners plenty of attention from hot guys - I am not attractive to the majority of hot guys facially, and so I have to think long and hard before assuming that any HOT guy would want to date me.

 

I know for a fact that the majority of hot and truly beautiful people don't find me attractive.

 

Therefore - I should probs stick to my league, the non hot people?