torn87 Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 I wish I had found this forum at the early stage of my affair and gotten the advice you have. Its incredible that you are taking the advice and comendable that you are taking the higher road with both your OM and your BF. I hope everything works out for you and you find happiness and I really think with time inner reflection and some therapy you will find its not so much your relationship with your boyfriend or the OM that is the answer but more that your lacking something in your self or in your life and your using men or romantic relationships as the filler. Good luck to you keep us posted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Ummm EXcuse YoU!! I didn't really give much importance to punctuation etc when I am trying to type my heartfelt thoughts.. You don't really give much importance to ANYTHING when you're typing, full stop. maybe you really should start.... (Notice how nobody else has your problem, BtW....) And it's not about punctuation, it's about writing coherently. legibly and intelligently. You're a grown woman, for goodness' sake, not a high-school teenager...! but yes I should take my advise but in my case my MM is insistent and not leaving.. No no no... the blame is on you. YOU Should be leaving and you should be doing whatever you can, to do the right thing for your marriage. The fact that your MM is insistent and not leaving does not prevent you from doing what you should be doing. Its just yet another p*ss-poor excuse for you to be the cake-eater you have become... ANYWAY! back to op.... Yes, indeed. Have you noticed how well she has listened, how intently she has appreciated the help, how little she has argued and how much she has learnt? Are you here to pick those skills up? I do hope so... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hello234 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 You don't really give much importance to ANYTHING when you're typing, full stop. maybe you really should start.... (Notice how nobody else has your problem, BtW....) And it's not about punctuation, it's about writing coherently. legibly and intelligently. You're a grown woman, for goodness' sake, not a high-school teenager...! No no no... the blame is on you. YOU Should be leaving and you should be doing whatever you can, to do the right thing for your marriage. The fact that your MM is insistent and not leaving does not prevent you from doing what you should be doing. Its just yet another p*ss-poor excuse for you to be the cake-eater you have become... Yes, indeed. Have you noticed how well she has listened, how intently she has appreciated the help, how little she has argued and how much she has learnt? Are you here to pick those skills up? I do hope so... - EXCUSE U!!! I do realize the same- how I am cheating my spouse and I have realized alot and improved from couple months ago since i started posting about the affair.. are you seeing me everyday and knowing my thoughts? NOPE! so i suggest you stop assuming and judging.. Anyone can realize anything, it is also about implementing.. I have backed off from AP and it takes little steps as I am also hurting.. I haven't posted for awhile now and trying to get myself on a solid good track so back off and don't judge or assume that I have not learnt anything and that I am not appreciative of all the advise, etc.. After all, you may also not know what other issues I may have, which others may not (depression etc). Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 - EXCUSE U!!! I do realize the same- how I am cheating my spouse and I have realized alot and improved from couple months ago since i started posting about the affair.. are you seeing me everyday and knowing my thoughts? NOPE! so i suggest you stop assuming and judging.. Anyone can realize anything, it is also about implementing.. I have backed off from AP and it takes little steps as I am also hurting.. I haven't posted for awhile now and trying to get myself on a solid good track so back off and don't judge or assume that I have not learnt anything and that I am not appreciative of all the advise, etc.. After all, you may also not know what other issues I may have, which others may not (depression etc). Been there done that, read the book, seen the movie, eaten the pie What do you want, a medal? You talk a lot, but sadly, there is no evidence apparent that you ever listen. you protest here that you've made changes, haven't posted much - well, perhaps, to deflect the flak, you should update (in YOUR OWN thread - not here!) and recount just what it is exactly you have done to address you mistakes, infidelity, emotional detachment and deceit. You shouldn't detach from your AP in 'little steps'. Huge mistake - as we have all been telling you, to no avail.... You should take one huge, massive leap and cut every contact off. Why are you dragging your heels? That hurts more. As you have evidently discovered. If that IS what you're doing, you're going about it the wrong way and doing the kinds of things you KNOW we will haul you over for. THAT'S why you haven't posted. because you know we'll tell you what you DON'T want to hear. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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