Lone wolf...

[Gloria25]

How do you handle being the "lone wolf" in your family?

 

I grew up in a very toxic, dysfunctional "home". I, thank God, was able to get out...

 

Over the years, out of some misplaced guilt, I tried to help them out. I sent money, spent time, etc. And, all I can say is that money was wasted. They persist in their nonsense and have not improved in the least. I mean, one or two siblings are sorta "making it", but still drama with money and stuff.

 

I'm trying hard to just be "compassionate" with my mom. I'm trying just to provide basic necessities (food, shelter, medicine, clothing) and be "polite" to her, but I have so much resentment from my childhood and like she has no boundaries. She also helps the grandkids, so that's another reason I'm trying hard to be compassionate with her (kinda like me helping the kids through her).

 

I have siblings that are really messed up, but mom expects me - like her - to just look the other way and pretend nothing's going on when these siblings have and continue to cause harm to others, themselves and even had the audacity to lie about me when I tried to protect the innocent.

 

Then, every now and then, she tries to sneak in more siblings under my roof and I'm not some half-way home. They can sacrifice and join the military or find work overseas or something and make their way. I and other siblings of mine have done the same. We aren't "rich" by any means, but we sacrificed and got our stuff.

 

I'm so mad cuz everyone is mad at me - when "I'm" NOT the bad guy here.

 

There was a time I didn't communicate with them except through e-mail and/or other siblings cuz I didn't let them know where I lived cuz I didn't want them to find me and/or "dupe" me into feeling sorry again. I can't afford to move right now, but sure wish I could. I wish I could get far away from them.

 

I can't take this stress now. I got so much on my plate. Actually, I messed up in some stuff I had to take care of today cuz my mind was stressed. One time I got into a car accident, a speeding ticket, etc - cuz I let them get into my head.

Edited December 3, 2014 by Gloria25

[pink_sugar]

It sounds like your dysfunctional family is just like mine. Do you live at home, I might ask? Just last night an argument at home has caused me to be tired at work. I need to get out, no matter what. No matter hard tight money is. If you are at home, you need to get out too and keep your distance.

[Gloria25]

It sounds like your dysfunctional family is just like mine. Do you live at home, I might ask? Just last night an argument at home has caused me to be tired at work. I need to get out, no matter what. No matter hard tight money is. If you are at home, you need to get out too and keep your distance.

 

NO, I own the home. That's what also makes this frustrating. My mom lives with me, yet, I'm the one having to walk around eggshells in my own home!!! I also have the RIGHT to refuse to have certain people in my home. If she wants to regulate what goes on in my home, she's free to get her own place. Sometimes that becomes a matter of contention with me you know....when she starts moving around things in the house, I feel like saying 'hey, who's home is this?'

 

I feel ya, yesterday, even though she wasn't home, it's like I reverted back to my childhood - where I could not stand staying at home. I spent most yesterday outside just walking, doing chores, walking around stores. I did not want to go home. I almost did the same today, but for now just shut my door.

 

She will be leaving soon, and I'm so glad.

 

Seems like she already got the siblings involved cuz I saw them trying to call me today. I can't believe I'm going though this although I have my own place. Don't we leave our homes to create our own nests and peace of mind?

 

I'm going on 40 and don't have time for this. I want peace in my home and life!!!