tony, please read.....

[jennie]

okay so i finally got the nerve to leave this guy after one morning fighting about such stupid crap again.

 

well i rented a u-haul trailer and hooked it up the the bronco 2.

 

about 300 miles out of town the transmission went out and was going to cost upwards around $1800.00 to fix.

 

we rented a car for five days with the intentions of coming back for the truck.

 

then we ran into severe ice and freezing rain in nebraska. needless to say by then we were very short on money and patience and hope.

 

so i called my voice mail knowing he had left messages. i did not know if they would be him wanting me to come back or him saying good bye.

 

well they were all him wanting, pleading and begging me to come home! he apologized about everything, said he did not realize that i was that unhappy.

 

so the options were to try to keep going or go back west where the weather was better and we could out run the storm.

 

i decided to go back! never move unprepared in the winter that is all i have to say about that!

 

so we have been back now for two days and he has been totally sweet to me. tomorrow will be a big test as that is when he goes back to work and really turns into a jerk!

 

he is actually picking up some tapes from his sister in law the venus and mars series that they have, they are vcr tapes as he did not want to read the books.

 

so we'll see what happens i guess. in the mean time, i'm looking once again for a job, i don't care what it is and i don't care if he cares what it is either.

 

my daughter moved in with friends and took my little grandson with her and i miss them both, but the house has been cleaner and quieter and my boyfriend says that put him in a bad mood each day too when he'd get up and the t.v. was on cartoons and the house messy.

 

one other thing, before i had left i had found this email from this girl to my boyfriend and they were talking about mp3's and napster and very little about her loan.

 

i asked him who she was and he said a client, i said what does napster and mp3's have to do with a loan? he said her husband is in a band.

 

i said i still don't get it, that is personal stuff not loan stuff....he told me "just go to hell" and hung up on me.

 

so in spite and i admit i was wrong for doing this but i was seeing red at him and emailed her and told her to keep it business and not personal.

 

he says that she cancelled the loan saying that she was laid off, he said i owe him $1000.00 commission for making him lose the loan cause he is sure that my email was the reason she dropped it.

 

i say i don't owe you nothing, cause you treated me so disrespectfully and got what you deserved...opinion?

 

and yes i know that was wrong....jennie

[Tony T]

Jennie:

 

It would be very wrong of me to give you advice once a week on how to run your life. You are certainly old enough to make life decisions for yourself. You are certainly capable of deciding for yourself just how to handle these day to day difficulties.

 

I am feeling like I am making you into an emotional cripple by advising you everytime you have a difficulty with this guy and I won't do it anymore.

 

You may be very angry at me and that's OK. But the only way you will evolve and grow as a person is if you handle these difficulties on your own. The only way you will gain happiness in the world is if you use all you know to achieve balance and peace in your life without the aid of my advice.

 

Now, I'm certainly here for major difficulties. But the situation you described in your post is just another one of these petty things that has gone on for a very long time in your relationship.

 

If I try to solve each problem for you, I am basically living your life right along with you and I don't want to do that.

 

While I'm here, it was very wrong for you to interfere with his business deal and his Email. If I was him I would kick you out of the house. He is a much kinder man than I am to just demand $1,000, which is the money he lost from the loan not going through. You need to stay out of his business and resolve disputes directly with him. Don't be sending Email to others you don't even know. That was very wrong.

 

If you suspected hanky panky, you should have discussed that with him. And he would have been right. You were gone and out of his life and he had every right to do whatever he wanted to do. Now that you're back, you should have given him time to correct things without interference. If you do not trust this guy, start saving your money to buy adequate transportation to get away from him as quickly as you can.

 

If you have a sense that you just don't know anymore what is right and wrong to do on a daily basis, make yourself a friend who lives close to you and call often. Take notes and remember.

 

You have got to stop depending on others and live for yourself.

 

I will certainly be here for you when you have a REALLY major problem.

 

Please feel free to post anything for others to talk about but I am bowing out of everything in your life except the most serious of issues. I am doing this because I care about YOU!!! I cannot be a party to helping stunt your emotional and spiritual growth. This is not something I want to do.

 

I am so sorry your car broke down because you would have been a whole lot better off back home.

[blinker]

Sorry I'm not Tony but i thought I'd add my opinion on your situation. Yeah it was wrong of you to have read his email then mailed the woman and told her to keep things business, not personal. So what they talked about mp3s and napster. everyone is talking about that. it's not like they were flirting or being inappropriate. yes you did cost him the commission on the loan so i hope that's a lesson for you to keep your nose out of his business life. chances are the woman cancelled the loan because she was highly offended by you mailing her and telling her to back off. that was out of line.

 

as for those men are from mars videos by john gray, they are excellent. watch them as a couple, i'm sure they'll be very beneficial. john gray makes a lot of sense.

 

about finding a job, haven't you been pissing and moaning about finding a job for a couple months now? why don't you maybe stop complaining about it and just get one. your boyfriend probably has some resentment towards you because he's working his ass off and you're not working period. just complaining about not it. get out there, get a job. even if it's something to fill your time til a better one comes along.

okay so i finally got the nerve to leave this guy after one morning fighting about such stupid crap again. well i rented a u-haul trailer and hooked it up the the bronco 2. about 300 miles out of town the transmission went out and was going to cost upwards around $1800.00 to fix. we rented a car for five days with the intentions of coming back for the truck. then we ran into severe ice and freezing rain in nebraska. needless to say by then we were very short on money and patience and hope. so i called my voice mail knowing he had left messages. i did not know if they would be him wanting me to come back or him saying good bye. well they were all him wanting, pleading and begging me to come home! he apologized about everything, said he did not realize that i was that unhappy. so the options were to try to keep going or go back west where the weather was better and we could out run the storm. i decided to go back! never move unprepared in the winter that is all i have to say about that! so we have been back now for two days and he has been totally sweet to me. tomorrow will be a big test as that is when he goes back to work and really turns into a jerk! he is actually picking up some tapes from his sister in law the venus and mars series that they have, they are vcr tapes as he did not want to read the books. so we'll see what happens i guess. in the mean time, i'm looking once again for a job, i don't care what it is and i don't care if he cares what it is either. my daughter moved in with friends and took my little grandson with her and i miss them both, but the house has been cleaner and quieter and my boyfriend says that put him in a bad mood each day too when he'd get up and the t.v. was on cartoons and the house messy. one other thing, before i had left i had found this email from this girl to my boyfriend and they were talking about mp3's and napster and very little about her loan. i asked him who she was and he said a client, i said what does napster and mp3's have to do with a loan? he said her husband is in a band.

 

i said i still don't get it, that is personal stuff not loan stuff....he told me "just go to hell" and hung up on me. so in spite and i admit i was wrong for doing this but i was seeing red at him and emailed her and told her to keep it business and not personal.

 

he says that she cancelled the loan saying that she was laid off, he said i owe him $1000.00 commission for making him lose the loan cause he is sure that my email was the reason she dropped it. i say i don't owe you nothing, cause you treated me so disrespectfully and got what you deserved...opinion? and yes i know that was wrong....jennie