I'm devastated and feeling unbelievable pain (Updated)

[KBarletta]

I can't seem to move on at all. The strong feelings of betrayal with knowing that there is a strong chance that she left me for someone else is just too much for me to handle. And to top it off we work at the same place. How can someone just drop someone else like that? I can't keep feeling like this.

 

 

We all feel pain and work through it at different paces and intervals.

The key is to distract yourself with things that have no connection to her or your relationship - new things.

 

That, and become your own best friend. Don't be too hard on yourself, treat yourself well, get rest, eat well, exercise and spend as much time as possible with friends. Lean on them. That's what they are there for, and if they are true friends they will be there to help you through this and listen to all the BS as you work through it.

 

You've suffered a wound to your ego. Like any other wound, it's going to hurt for a while and take time to heal. It's not going to happen overnight, but picking at it is only going to make the healing process take longer.

 

Best of luck.

[Light Breeze]

Hey man,

 

You probably know my story too.

 

The really hard part was not knowing whether she left you for another man. The pain of betrayal and disbelief is so strong, it's debilitating. But I guess I'm at a point that I just don't care anymore. The important thing is she left and is with another guy. This could be simply be one of my good days though and I could just as easily spiral into depression any day now. But, the acceptance of the death of the relationship and that we couldn't have possibly saved it if the other person was unwilling, is a great help to me in slowly healing.

 

Stay strong brother we can do this.

[HurtGator]

Hey man,

 

You probably know my story too.

 

The really hard part was not knowing whether she left you for another man. The pain of betrayal and disbelief is so strong, it's debilitating. But I guess I'm at a point that I just don't care anymore. The important thing is she left and is with another guy. This could be simply be one of my good days though and I could just as easily spiral into depression any day now. But, the acceptance of the death of the relationship and that we couldn't have possibly saved it if the other person was unwilling, is a great help to me in slowly healing.

 

Stay strong brother we can do this.

 

I know that two days after she broke up with me, she was hanging out and going to the same guy's house that I suspected something with before the break up. Before the break up, I've asked her if something is going on with the guy that I need to know about and her response was "no.. he's just a really good friend".

[HurtGator]

We all feel pain and work through it at different paces and intervals.

The key is to distract yourself with things that have no connection to her or your relationship - new things.

 

That, and become your own best friend. Don't be too hard on yourself, treat yourself well, get rest, eat well, exercise and spend as much time as possible with friends. Lean on them. That's what they are there for, and if they are true friends they will be there to help you through this and listen to all the BS as you work through it.

 

You've suffered a wound to your ego. Like any other wound, it's going to hurt for a while and take time to heal. It's not going to happen overnight, but picking at it is only going to make the healing process take longer.

 

Best of luck.

 

I am trying to distract myself and its very difficult. I see her at work everyday and I see the guy she's with now at work everyday as well. This is like a nightmare.

[HurtGator]

There is a memory of her that I can't shake out of my head that happened like a day before she broke up with me. I took her to her house (her parents were there). We sit together with her family in the kitchen area and we talk about whatever. She gets us some wine from the fridge and pours us each a glass. While i'm talking to her mom she sneaks up behind me with her arms wrapped around me and she whispers to me "I love you so much!" and repeated it like twice. It was one of the greatest feelings ever. It sent shivers down my spine. I felt so good and secure in our relationship that no matter what issues we had in our relationship they'd be easily resolved. Then the next day, she dumped me and didn't even give me a reason. I keep replaying that in my head over and over and it just won't go away.

Edited December 23, 2014 by HurtGator

[frigginlost]

Picture her feet.

 

See that pedestal she is standing on?

 

Knock it out from under her.

 

Picture her face.

 

Hear her telling you lies?

 

Tell her to shut up.

 

Feel that twinge in your gut?

 

That's your dignity trying to break out.

 

Listen to it.

 

 

You will get through this, buddy.

[HurtGator]

I wanted to give a quick update on where I am and how things have been going.

 

It's been four months since the break up and I am feeling much better. However, there are still some lingering feelings of confusion, sadness, and questions running around in my brain. I still don't understand why things happened the way they happened but I think I need to keep reminding myself to look at the bottom line: she emotionally cheated on me with someone else that we work with and then after the breakup they were always spending time together at work and after work.

 

I still wish things were different between us and we maintained what appeared like an amazing relationship we had. But unfortunately, she chose to not maintain a relationship where she was telling the world (coworkers, family, and friends) how amazing it was and how lucky she was to be in it with me. Still doesn't make sense to me.

 

I see her at work and I try to hold it together as much as I can but I am so much better than I was before. Now that the dust has settled, I am to think with a much clearer mind and with a less broken heart. Even thought I still don't really understand what happened, I really think she really missed out with her decision of breaking up with me. Of course she doesn't feel like she's missing out, but I think one day she will realize it. I really did treat her like gold and I cared for her very much during the 2.5 years of our relationship.

 

I also started dating other people. I have a date with someone new on Monday after work! It feels good to meet new people and not feel like I'm hating and mistrusting the female population because of one bad apple.

 

How do I continue treating my exgf at work? We run into each other every once in a while either in the hallway or at lunch. I hate that she cheated on me and left me for another guy, but I also don't want her to think it phases me. Any ideas?

[Light Breeze]

HurtGator,

 

longtime man, glad you're doing fine . Anyway if it was me I'll just give her a nod if she notices me first, otherwise just ignore her.

 

By the way how does she react when she sees you and is she dating this other guy now?

[HurtGator]

HurtGator,

 

longtime man, glad you're doing fine . Anyway if it was me I'll just give her a nod if she notices me first, otherwise just ignore her.

 

By the way how does she react when she sees you and is she dating this other guy now?

 

Yeah man, been a while. I never initiate conversation with her. If she wants to talk to me, she knows how to contact me and get a hold of me.

 

I don't know for sure if she's still dating the other guy but I know for a fact that immediately after she broke up with me, they were hooking up and constantly hanging out after work. I don't know if they are like friends with benefits type of thing or in a relationship. They are however hanging out with each other the time at work. Everyone knows what is going on between them yet she is always denying that she "has a man".

 

When she sees me she will say hi and smile. I don't know if its a fake smile to act nice or not. However, she has been planning happy hour events and inviting all our mutual friends and not inviting me. Every time she does that it just makes me laugh! She acts like a child and everyone at work thinks she's being immature.

[Light Breeze]

Yeah man, been a while. I never initiate conversation with her. If she wants to talk to me, she knows how to contact me and get a hold of me.

 

I don't know for sure if she's still dating the other guy but I know for a fact that immediately after she broke up with me, they were hooking up and constantly hanging out after work. I don't know if they are like friends with benefits type of thing or in a relationship. They are however hanging out with each other the time at work. Everyone knows what is going on between them yet she is always denying that she "has a man".

 

When she sees me she will say hi and smile. I don't know if its a fake smile to act nice or not. However, she has been planning happy hour events and inviting all our mutual friends and not inviting me. Every time she does that it just makes me laugh! She acts like a child and everyone at work thinks she's being immature.

 

Well, her loss brother. Just keep being civil with her and keep on moving forward with your life.

 

I think you'll never get your answer from her though, but I think you know that already. Good luck man!

[HurtGator]

Well, her loss brother. Just keep being civil with her and keep on moving forward with your life.

 

I think you'll never get your answer from her though, but I think you know that already. Good luck man!

 

Yeah I'll never get the answers from her but her actions are pretty self explanatory. They now come and leave work together.

[Chi townD]

Just act like she's any other person. Just act like she's a complete stranger; because truth be told, she is a stranger to you. You have no idea who this new person is that occupied her body that would allow her to cheat on you and dump you for the person she's cheating with.

 

 

So, treat her as a stranger because that's exactly who she is.

[HurtGator]

Just act like she's any other person. Just act like she's a complete stranger; because truth be told, she is a stranger to you. You have no idea who this new person is that occupied her body that would allow her to cheat on you and dump you for the person she's cheating with.

 

 

So, treat her as a stranger because that's exactly who she is.

 

That's a damn good point. I've always known her as a trustworthy person. But at the end of the day, she's a completely different person than who I thought she was.