Guy won't stop making advances to my girlfriend [Update: Resolved and now engaged]

[sonny357]

Hi,

 

She did not go to any date.

 

Yesterday, her job called. She was busy with the baby so I answered. They wanted to cancel her scheduled shift. Yes, she told me the truth. The weird shift was real.

 

Also, she let her laptop on the couch. I checked out the facebook message she just received: guess what? It was a female coworker thanking her for staying with her after their shift because she needed to talk to a friend. That explains why she came back late.

 

I checked out the other guy messages... Nothing new, except a few "hello" and "You didn't reply, you don't wanna go to the restaurant?". She never replied to his messages.

 

I think all is good. I feel better today.

 

[Keke1]

Hi,

 

She did not go to any date.

 

Yesterday, her job called. She was busy with the baby so I answered. They wanted to cancel her scheduled shift. Yes, she told me the truth. The weird shift was real.

 

Also, she let her laptop on the couch. I checked out the facebook message she just received: guess what? It was a female coworker thanking her for staying with her after their shift because she needed to talk to a friend. That explains why she came back late.

 

I checked out the other guy messages... Nothing new, except a few "hello" and "You didn't reply, you don't wanna go to the restaurant?". She never replied to his messages.

 

I think all is good. I feel better today.

 

Sounds fishy to me.

[MercuryMorrison1]

Hi,

 

She did not go to any date.

 

Yesterday, her job called. She was busy with the baby so I answered. They wanted to cancel her scheduled shift. Yes, she told me the truth. The weird shift was real.

 

Also, she let her laptop on the couch. I checked out the facebook message she just received: guess what? It was a female coworker thanking her for staying with her after their shift because she needed to talk to a friend. That explains why she came back late.

 

I checked out the other guy messages... Nothing new, except a few "hello" and "You didn't reply, you don't wanna go to the restaurant?". She never replied to his messages.

 

I think all is good. I feel better today.

 

 

Hey Sonny, I haven't commented here yet, but I've been following this thread and I have taken the time to read all of it's current 11 pages. I just want to extend my best wishes to you.

 

I will advise caution, I've been in a similar situation myself, (without the children) and it turned out to be a very nasty breakup, I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy much less a new acquaintance.

 

Good luck with everything I hope that your girl is truly being honest with you. But if I were you I wouldn't let my guard down just yet.

[lolablue17]

Good news. I'm happy for you.

Keep your eyes open.

Best...

[The Poster]

Sounds fishy to me.

 

How? The fact she ignored the other guy's messages about going to the restaurant is a good sign. It means she might have come to her senses.

 

As a person of faith and love, I truly hope this was just a rough patch and OP and his girlfriend can continue their relationship happily with their children.

 

Good luck!

[Keke1]

How? The fact she ignored the other guy's messages about going to the restaurant is a good sign. It means she might have come to her senses.

 

As a person of faith and love, I truly hope this was just a rough patch and OP and his girlfriend can continue their relationship happily with their children.

 

Good luck!

 

Or she caught wind and covering bases(this may not be true at all). I do hope it's all behind them but to me the fact that she carried on and the way it was carried, regardless of how he felt was troubling. Again, that's just me.

[Fearful]

Intresting story. So her phone and laptop which was locked with password that is unknown to OP suddenly becomes open for OP to read a message from her female Co-worker and the latest message from the OM questioning her on why she didn't turn up @ the restaurant. What a brain! Your girl friend and OM agreed to meet secrately on tuesday night after her working night shift. You become aware of this so they shifted their meeting backward, spent 4hours together then the tuesday night shift canceled. Op, at the moment you just need to start thinking where ordinarily you would have stop thinking in the past and reach a conclusion.

[Chi townD]

Hmmm....okay. There's a saying, trust but verify. You've been collecting red flags over the course of a week. And then everything is explained to you all in one evening. That's convenient. A little too convenient.

 

 

I would still use the VAR and GPS. I would still monitor everything. This guy is still in town. And you might still be getting played. You might also have to assume that she knows you're posting here. She covered every base we told you to look out for. Every single one.

 

 

Trust but verify.

[Chi townD]

Fearful also brings up a very good point. Laptop and phone have locks on them. But, the night in question, they're conveniently left out and unlocked.

[Keke1]

Fearful also brings up a very good point. Laptop and phone have locks on them. But, the night in question, they're conveniently left out and unlocked.

 

Well if it hadn't locked yet then he can look at whatever.

[italianjob]

If this was a movie or a book, I would think the writer (or screenwriter) was too much in a hurry to wrap up the story. In one day everything gets explained just like in the final scene of an Agatha Christie Poirot mistery novel!

[elaine567]

Intresting story. So her phone and laptop which was locked with password that is unknown to OP suddenly becomes open for OP to read a message from her female Co-worker and the latest message from the OM questioning her on why she didn't turn up @ the restaurant. What a brain! Your girl friend and OM agreed to meet secrately on tuesday night after her working night shift. You become aware of this so they shifted their meeting backward, spent 4hours together then the tuesday night shift canceled. Op, at the moment you just need to start thinking where ordinarily you would have stop thinking in the past and reach a conclusion.

 

That is not true.

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/504715-guy-won-t-stop-making-advances-my-girlfriend#post6034087

she doesn't even try to hide her computer. I mean, she leaves it there running with facebook open while doing something else in the house. Her phone is also there. So basically nothing to hide. If I wanna take a look, i can take the laptop and phone and voila

[elaine567]

Hi,

 

She did not go to any date.

 

Yesterday, her job called. She was busy with the baby so I answered. They wanted to cancel her scheduled shift. Yes, she told me the truth. The weird shift was real.

 

Also, she let her laptop on the couch. I checked out the facebook message she just received: guess what? It was a female coworker thanking her for staying with her after their shift because she needed to talk to a friend. That explains why she came back late.

 

I checked out the other guy messages... Nothing new, except a few "hello" and "You didn't reply, you don't wanna go to the restaurant?". She never replied to his messages.

 

I think all is good. I feel better today.

 

 

I am very happy for you.

Do not let the cynical stirrers here, upset you.

[SycamoreCircle]

Ask her if she is happy with your relationship. If she is getting her needs met or if there is anything you could improve.

 

I don't think immaturity works like that. Cheaters are not interested in sorting through interpersonal problems. At some point they reach a mode like martyrs or kamikaze pilots, pledging themselves to their myopic mission.

[No Limit]

What a fortunate coincidence that a co-worker messaged her thanks, and that your wife, ever so passively, left her Facebook open for you to read it.

 

Respect, your wife knows how to play the game. I guess her environment encourages it when even her friends cover up for her.

[Chi townD]

I am very happy for you.

Do not let the cynical stirrers here, upset you.

 

 

Don't get me wrong. I hoping that everything he wrote is on the up and up. And that his girlfriend (even if she was keeping and inappropriate online relationship) is being truthful about not seeing this guy.

 

 

But, let's not lose sight of the fact that OM traveled to met up with her. You can't dismiss the fact that he's still in town and the only reason for him to be there is to see her. She might have got cold feet the first time. But, if he's persistent, she might end up meeting with him.

[sonny357]

She never made any attempt in hiding her stuff. She just logs out of facebook when she leaves. And she also changed her password, but I do the same in a regular basis. Changing passwords is the key to internet security. She often leave her laptop running on the couch without logging out or closing stuff. The only time was when she looked at his pictures.

 

I snooped again and honestly, I think that nothing is going on. She had an extended conversation with her friend. She had problems going on in her life and judging by the hundreds messages they wrote to each other yesterday, it is not by any mean a cover up. I can guarantee you that.

 

Trust, but don't close your eyes. That's what I'm going to do for the next few weeks.

[Standard-Fare]

Not the outcome anyone here was expecting, but it sounds like a positive development, and I agree OP that there's no need for you to suspect this is a "coverup."

 

It sounds like you can finally relax at least a little bit. Don't let your guard down completely, stay vigilant, but at least you don't have to remain in the super-anxious "high-alert" mode you've been in for the past week.

[Chi townD]

She never made any attempt in hiding her stuff. She just logs out of facebook when she leaves. And she also changed her password, but I do the same in a regular basis. Changing passwords is the key to internet security. She often leave her laptop running on the couch without logging out or closing stuff. The only time was when she looked at his pictures.

 

I snooped again and honestly, I think that nothing is going on. She had an extended conversation with her friend. She had problems going on in her life and judging by the hundreds messages they wrote to each other yesterday, it is not by any mean a cover up. I can guarantee you that.

 

Trust, but don't close your eyes. That's what I'm going to do for the next few weeks.

 

 

Yeah dude, At least until you can confirm that this guy has left town.

[elaine567]

Yeah dude, At least until you can confirm that this guy has left town.

 

Stop stirring, move on, nothing to see here.

[OMC]

Stop stirring, move on, nothing to see here.

^^^ Queen has spoken

[Javelin]

Trust, but don't close your eyes. That's what I'm going to do for the next few weeks.

 

Sonny,

 

You're putting more coins into a very dangerous game, And quite frankly, she hasn't done anything to warrant an ounce of trust. Thankfully, you're not turning a blind eye to this, but please don't get lazy. You should really pretend as though you have relaxed your position on the situation, and then go into detective mode 100%. If she feels that the situation is tranquil; she's more likely to think the heat is off. When the heat is off, people slip up and if/when she does, you'll be able to see if she is truly innocencent or dishonesty.

 

Good luck.

Edited December 11, 2014 by Javelin

[Chi townD]

Stop stirring, move on, nothing to see here.

 

 

You obviously haven't been cheated on.

[NJ123]

Edit: Seen the post now about not going on the date.

Edited December 11, 2014 by NJ123

[NateGrey]

I'm sorry, but some of you people are flat out INSANE for thinking this recent development really solves anything or shows the guys girl was up to no good. This reeks so badly you can smell it from a block away.

 

Seriously, and it is STIRRING up stuff to be suspicious of this? What world do you guys live in? This story is now more fishy then ever and the girl has done not a damn thing to show she hasn't been shady.

 

She sounds like she knows EXACTLY the type of guy she is with and how to easily manipulate him. I feel bad that the OP believes he can trust her after this, despite all the shady past behavior? If you don't want to leave her no matter what she does fine, but don't act like she's suddenly done something to ease all the big red flags in this case.

Edited December 11, 2014 by NateGrey