Guy won't stop making advances to my girlfriend [Update: Resolved and now engaged]

[Fearful]

OP, I just hope that your girl friend is not on this Forum following all your post because it seems she knows you probably more than you know your self. Any way, If you are satisfy with the outcome of your investigation and your mind is at ease, I wish you all the best.

[Keke1]

I'm sorry, but some of you people are flat out INSANE for thinking this recent development really solves anything or shows the guys girl was up to no good. This reeks so badly you can smell it from a block away.

 

Seriously, and it is STIRRING up stuff to be suspicious of this? What world do you guys live in? This story is now more fishy then ever and the girl has done not a damn thing to show she hasn't been shady.

 

She sounds like she knows EXACTLY the type of guy she is with and how to easily manipulate him. I feel bad that the OP believes he can trust her after this, despite all the shady past behavior? If you don't want to leave her no matter what she does fine, but don't act like she's suddenly done something to ease all the big red flags in this case.

 

Yea the downplaying and excuse making is pretty laughable. He says he will keep his eyes open though so he's going to protect his self. Where as before he says he didn't have to. Broken trust is hard to deal with.

[NateGrey]

I also can't help but feel if the OP was adept at "keeping his eyes open" then he would not be dealing with his current predicament. I don't think a person should ever "close their eyes" so to speak. It doesn't matter if you've had a wonderful relationship with someone for 20 years, you don't close your eyes to the possibility of betrayal.

 

This doesn't mean I am saying never trust anyone, but there is a difference between trusting someone and simply keeping your eyes peeled for behavior.

[sonny357]

I don't have any proof that either:

 

1- she have seen this guy

 

2- she fu*cks him

 

So I just cannot jump on any conclusion based strictly on the facts I know for now.

[elaine567]

I don't have any proof that either:

 

1- she have seen this guy

 

2- she fu*cks him

 

So I just cannot jump on any conclusion based strictly on the facts I know for now.

 

Of course you cannot and no-one here should be suggesting you act on no real evidence of this girl actually cheating on you either?

 

It it seems some on here, just want the drama of her being kicked in the teeth, and of you being bereft of your gf, your daughter and your unborn child just to make themselves feel better.

[NateGrey]

Of course you cannot and no-one here should be suggesting you act on no real evidence of this girl actually cheating on you either?

 

It it seems some on here, just want the drama of her being kicked in the teeth, and of you being bereft of your gf, your daughter and your unborn child just to make themselves feel better.

 

Did you read the thread? I'm sorry if you feel nothing about this situation still utterly reeks just because he doesn't have 100% evidence she is cheating. I'm sorry you feel people just want to see the gf suffer as opposed to just not wanting to see a guy clearly in denial..continue to be in denial, and continue to be manipulated by a woman who obviously knows what she is doing when it comes to deceit and manipulation.

 

But no, it's just so we could "feel better" even though it is odd why you feel her being a confirmed cheater would make anyone feel better? I'd feel better in the sense this guy was free of a cheater. But no, I don't care one bit if this other woman suffers or not. Why? Because I doubt she will suffer, because the writing is on the wall and the OP doesn't want to see it.

 

OP: you've had multiple people in this thread, even after this new evidence, STILL tell you something shady is up. You can, of course, choose to believe this is all about making your gf suffer. But you'd be wrong, because I'm sorry to tell you that I feel if you dumped her right now she wouldn't even suffer, she'd just find another poor sap to manipulate, women like this always do.

 

So I guess the question is why you want to stick around and continue to be that guy? As far as I am concerned, you don't need 100% confirmation here. Her past actions have shown you need to protect your heart, and if there is even a more then 50% chance she is up to no good you need to bounce(and it's definitely above 50%).

 

Sorry, you just don't go from sending nude pictures to a dude one day to suddenly not doing it the next. This girl is playing you, and furthermore why do you want a woman who sends naked pics to creeps online? I don't care if she was single, it gives you an idea of the type of person you are dealing with. Do you feel women who respect themselves send naked pics to creeps online? Do you feel women who respect themselves then want to go meet said creep? Do you feel a woman who truly wants to make things work would *ask you if she can go fly and visit this man*? If you believe that, then there really isn't anything else anyone can tell you. The writing is on the wall, if she isn't a cheater she is still all around not gf material.

[Chi townD]

It it seems some on here, just want the drama of her being kicked in the teeth, and of you being bereft of your gf, your daughter and your unborn child just to make themselves feel better.

 

 

 

To make ourselves feel better? I don't know this guy from Adam. His story isn't keeping me awake at night and my personal life is really great. I feel fine, but at one time I was in this guys shoe's and I don't like seeing people, man or woman, getting screwed over. You may not care, but I do. Do people want a happy ending? Sure. But, sometimes what we want and what we get are two different things. Life isn't always rainbows, glitter and bubbles. Sometimes we get screwed over by the people we trust most in our lives. Life isn't a Disney movie.

 

 

make myself feel better....really?!?!!

[elaine567]

Did you read the thread? I'm sorry if you feel nothing about this situation still utterly reeks just because he doesn't have 100% evidence she is cheating. I'm sorry you feel people just want to see the gf suffer as opposed to just not wanting to see a guy clearly in denial..continue to be in denial, and continue to be manipulated by a woman who obviously knows what she is doing when it comes to deceit and manipulation.

 

But no, it's just so we could "feel better" even though it is odd why you feel her being a confirmed cheater would make anyone feel better? I'd feel better in the sense this guy was free of a cheater. But no, I don't care one bit if this other woman suffers or not. Why? Because I doubt she will suffer, because the writing is on the wall and the OP doesn't want to see it.

 

OP: you've had multiple people in this thread, even after this new evidence, STILL tell you something shady is up. You can, of course, choose to believe this is all about making your gf suffer. But you'd be wrong, because I'm sorry to tell you that I feel if you dumped her right now she wouldn't even suffer, she'd just find another poor sap to manipulate, women like this always do.

 

So I guess the question is why you want to stick around and continue to be that guy? As far as I am concerned, you don't need 100% confirmation here. Her past actions have shown you need to protect your heart, and if there is even a more then 50% chance she is up to no good you need to bounce(and it's definitely above 50%).

 

Sorry, you just don't go from sending nude pictures to a dude one day to suddenly not doing it the next. This girl is playing you, and furthermore why do you want a woman who sends naked pics to creeps online? I don't care if she was single, it gives you an idea of the type of person you are dealing with. Do you feel women who respect themselves send naked pics to creeps online? Do you feel women who respect themselves then want to go meet said creep? Do you feel a woman who truly wants to make things work would *ask you if she can go fly and visit this man*? If you believe that, then there really isn't anything else anyone can tell you. The writing is on the wall, if she isn't a cheater she is still all around not gf material.

 

Go read the thread.

She DID NOT send the guy nude pics, where did you make that one up from??

[NateGrey]

My bad, that is from a different thread. However, do you still mean to say you genuinely do not still find *anything* fishy about this situation?

[sonny357]

Hi,

 

Nothing new. Except two things.

 

She keeps condoms in her drawer. She doesn't take the pill anymore because she hates the effects and she gets migraine from them. But she insists on using condoms when we did it.

 

I counted them a few weeks ago. There was 5. Just checked out in the drawer, there 4. One is missing. And I did not use it because we did not do anything sexual for weeks.

 

Then I found well hidden under her stuff a medical prescription and a paper bag. There was a box of pills to treat yeast infection! I remember her trying to hide something when we got to the pharmacy.

 

What the hell? The missing comdons?

Can she gets a yeast infection from having sex with someone else?

[Clay]

Ask her what happened to it and see how she responds. If she does not have a quick easy answer and there is no delay then you know the truth.

[elaine567]

Vaginal thrush - NHS Choices

Most women experience occasional bouts of a common yeast infection known as vaginal thrush....Vaginal thrush isn't an STI, but it can sometimes be passed on to men during sex.

 

I wouldn't worry about her having thrush.

[martaldn]

Hi,

 

Nothing new. Except two things.

 

She keeps condoms in her drawer. She doesn't take the pill anymore because she hates the effects and she gets migraine from them. But she insists on using condoms when we did it.

 

I counted them a few weeks ago. There was 5. Just checked out in the drawer, there 4. One is missing. And I did not use it because we did not do anything sexual for weeks.

 

Then I found well hidden under her stuff a medical prescription and a paper bag. There was a box of pills to treat yeast infection! I remember her trying to hide something when we got to the pharmacy.

 

What the hell? The missing comdons?

Can she gets a yeast infection from having sex with someone else?

 

Yeast infection is not a STD.

Not sure what to think about the missing condom

What do u think?

[sonny357]

I don't know...

Sometimes I doubt myself.

Maybe it's gaslighting.

Maybe I am crazy

[martaldn]

I don't know...

Sometimes I doubt myself.

Maybe it's gaslighting.

Maybe I am crazy

 

I don't understand why she was hiding the fact she was treating a yeast infection when clearly its a common infection women have all the time,

Are u 100% sure it's a yeast infection what she had?

Why do u doubt yourself?

Condoms don't have legs!

[Keke1]

The whole thing has been suspicious. Like i said though. Couldn't be me after the fact.

[elaine567]

Make doubly sure the "missing" condom isn't under some socks or paperwork, or beauty products or whatever else she keeps in that drawer. Make sure it isn't on the floor, under the chest of drawers or it has ended up under the bed, before you accuse her of anything.

Think back to when you last had sex with the condom, are you sure one didn't get discarded eg it got ripped and you ended up using two that night.

 

If I was cheating, I doubt I would use one out of the stock of condoms I had at home to cheat with, though...

[TobyBoy]

Why would you be using comdoms now if she is pregnant???? Unless.....

[TobyBoy]

Check her purse, she might have not needed it after all!

[NJ123]

If you're 100% sure there were 5, and now there's only 4.......Use some common sense here. You really need to call her out on it.

[No Limit]

Your girlfriend is obviously responsible about sex. Had sex with condoms with her other guy so she won't infect him. Responsible as a mother should be.

[NJ123]

Your girlfriend is obviously responsible about sex. Had sex with condoms with her other guy so she won't infect him. Responsible as a mother should be.

 

Seems like she had sex with this guy when he least expected it. I wonder if she's been out at weird times lately or should have been home at one point, but wasn't & made some sort of an excuse.

Edited December 18, 2014 by NJ123

[No Limit]

Seems like she had sex with this guy when he least expected it. I wonder if she's been out at weird times lately or should have been home at one point, but wasn't & made some sort of an excuse.

 

'When he least expected it' could be the time range from their first date until the start of this thread. Either way this "relationship" is through.

[Javelin]

I don't even know how anyone can live like this - the stress alone would drive me insane.

 

Sonny, are you afraid of your girlfriend or something? Cause it seems to me like SHE is controlling the situation and you just accept her actions and/or whatever she tells you.

Edited December 18, 2014 by Javelin

[aliveagain]

The waywards most effect defence is to make you question your sanity, they will make you doubt your information. Once a betrayed spouse starts to question what they clearly see with their own eyes they start to walk on eggshells, the wayward will use that to their advantage. Start keeping a diary if you can't depend on your memory, note the number of condoms and the date you last checked. Document anything out of the norm including changes in schedules, confirm that paycheques match those changes.