Putting stock in Myers Briggs

[LookAtThisPOst]

Seems a few dating profiles I've seen online some tend to post their Myers Briggs results.

 

Can any stock be put into this as a valid means of determining a match?

[Mirages]

There is the enneagram which seems less accurate, and more complicated to me. Then you have the color based personalities, and type A, B, C format of past. While Myers Briggs has been around and established for a while. It offers enough complexity, mathematically 4 squared = 16 types, with each factor being clearly understood.

 

MB makes a lot of sense to me, and I quietly size people up by it. While all types can have their virtues, I know what works for me and what doesn't, i.e. too much "S" or too much "E" is trouble for me in a rel. Good stuff. Do not get caught up in the sand on it though, disordered, or scarred folks come in all types, the paragraph descriptions of each that are commonly found seem almost chivalrous and a little too positive for each type, people are people.

[FitChick]

It's no better than astrology.

[newmoon]

weird, but i've been seeing this in profiles too, recently. maybe a new trend? it only works if you know what they're talking about. i bet some people don't even know what "i'm an ESNP" means so kinda pointless imo. and self-testing really doesn't mean it's accurate. if anything they could be limiting their matches.

[CarrieT]

Been around for ages so it is nothing new.

 

For those who are into it, they can decipher your personality.

 

Never worked for me since every time I took the test, I got different results.

[guest569]

I think the test is reasonable but does it matter in terms of dating? Not a bit.

[salparadise]

I pay attention to it, and I sometimes speculate as to what type a person might be. I think we can have our preferences without it being limiting as long as we don't think of it as an end-all-be-all type of thing. It's based on Jung's personality theory, so it's not mere superstition like astrology. I believe the most important aspect is matching S/N. If you're opposites on this one it means you experience the world differently and there may be a gap in fundamental understandings.

 

Psychology Today published an article (Top 10 Psych Studies of 2014) (#6) that concludes that similarity in personalities is not a good indicator of relationship satisfaction. It says that your own personality is best indicator. It's based on the Big Five model, and it found that agreeableness, conscientiousness, and emotional stability are the reliable indicators of success.

[PegNosePete]

Anything that pigeon-holes people into so few categories is useless as far as dating is concerned.

 

We are all human beings, individual and unique. Breaking it down to 4 letters is an affront to the complexity and diversity of life.

 

I'd put more stock in the "which Jurassic Park dinosaur are you" quiz (I got velociraptor but I did cheat, that's what I was aiming for).

[salparadise]

Anything that pigeon-holes people into so few categories is useless as far as dating is concerned.

 

We are all human beings, individual and unique. Breaking it down to 4 letters is an affront to the complexity and diversity of life.

 

Categorization doesn't imply lack of diversity. For example, there are an estimated 8.7 million species of living organisms on the planet. Species is [arguably] the narrowest biological classification, but the broadest is kingdom; vegetabilia vs. animalia. All we're doing when we classify is dividing the full range of diversity into groups based on whatever criteria is being used. The full range of diversity still exists within those 16 groups.

 

There really should be 17 groups; they left out FBSC (phuking bat $hit crazy).

Edited December 5, 2014 by salparadise

[PegNosePete]

The full range of diversity still exists within those 16 groups.

Yes of course it does, but to limit your dating life to just a few of those groups does not make sense. There could be many people you get on with very well, who are in groups you have ruled out completely.

 

I have a friend who has a very happy relationship (in fact had a baby a couple of years ago). If they'd seen each other "on paper", they would never have even dated let alone got that far. She smoked at the time (a deal breaker for him) and he would have been out of her age range. But they met online and got to know each other, and now have a great relationship. If they'd put stock in these classifications then their little one would not have life.

[Mirages]

For the purpose of mate selection, organizing our minds to cover the four qualities makes sense, as one tool.

 

Extrovert vs Introvert

Sensor (detail orientied) vs iNtuitive (broad view philosopher type)

Feeling (emotional) vs Thinking (logical)

Perceiving (open minded) vs Judging (can mean judgemental, but often refers to strategic planning)

 

It does not wipe the nuanced qualities of a human to a pixillated scale, but rather organizes what we really are looking for. A thought "xSFP" types are less likely to care for Myers Briggs; xNTJ's do.

 

There really should be 17 groups; they left out FBSC

I agree! would have saved me a lot of time.

[Arabella]

I think Myers Briggs is a VERY accurate personality assessment IF you are honest in giving answers to the test.

 

However, my experience with it is that most people answer the questions based on what they wish they would do in a given situation, NOT what they are most likely to actually do. This skews the test results completely.

 

Either way, just because people give their results, doesn't mean that they're expecting you to use that to make a decision on whether you should date them. It's just another piece of information you can use to get an overall perspective of who they are.

 

Furthermore, results DO change as you age, because you grow and your personality changes and develops. Other factors may also cause you to give certain answers, such as depression. So, variance in the results is very much expected. However, if you are truly honest with giving the answers, the results tend to match fairly well who you are overall.

 

Here is a link where you can understand more about the test and the different types:

 

The Myers & Briggs Foundation - MBTI® Basics

[salparadise]

Yes of course it does, but to limit your dating life to just a few of those groups does not make sense. There could be many people you get on with very well, who are in groups you have ruled out completely.

 

I don't disagree with this. Same can be said for almost any given criteria such as short/tall, laborer/professional, younger/older, etc. I think it's ridiculous when I see profiles with a long list of very specific, often superficial, criteria. That's pretty much the point they're making with the study based on the Big Five model.

 

It does not wipe the nuanced qualities of a human to a pixillated scale, but rather organizes what we really are looking for. A thought "xSFP" types are less likely to care for Myers Briggs; xNTJ's do.

 

Yuppers! INTJ here.

[Mirages]

Yuppers! INTJ here.

Ha! i N t J here. Lower case for the barely's, caps for the dominant ones.

[salparadise]

Ha! i N t J here. Lower case for the barely's, caps for the dominant ones.

 

Interesting. Female INTJs are pretty rare (< 1%). Have you ever dated an INTJ? I had a few dates with one a couple of years ago. At first I thought it was going to be fantastic- we talked a blue streak on the first date. But then after the second date it just didn't seem like we were clicking anymore. I really do not like being in logical mode when socializing with women, so I think my preferred type is ENFP. I try not to learn their type before getting to know them a bit, after which I can usually guess it anyway.

[Mirages]

Have you ever dated an INTJ?

 

No, I was long term married (me = man, I think?), recently out, so the dating is yet future for me...

As far as attraction, nothing special about intj women (if I'd ever met one), not being pessimistic, but for me, this classification is best used to identify those I'd rather not be with, and other observations of character are used to gauge those I'd like to be with. That is how I use it.

so I think my preferred type is ENFP

If I was forced to select on this, I'd say I prefer NF types if they are not messy in living, not seeking emotional waves. A tender NF is ideal for me and probably you eh? The last letter will matter nothing to me, and the first just better not be extreme E, or a socially anxious form of I. "It's alphabet soup."

[central]

It's based in good psychology, but it's not the ultimate personality typing tool around. However, it is remarkably accurate and useful for the limited amount of data collected to arrive at a type.

 

 

It was one of the major tools I used when dating, to screen potential dates. I'm an NT type, which shares a particular (abstract) communication style with other NTs and NFs. All of my dates were NF and NT types, the worst (and my failed marriage) were ST and SF types.

 

 

So, based on my results, I strongly recommend its utility. My wife is one of those NF types, and having good communication along with other compatibility has made for a great marriage.

[serial muse]

It's based in good psychology, but it's not the ultimate personality typing tool around. However, it is remarkably accurate and useful for the limited amount of data collected to arrive at a type.

 

 

It was one of the major tools I used when dating, to screen potential dates. I'm an NT type, which shares a particular (abstract) communication style with other NTs and NFs. All of my dates were NF and NT types, the worst (and my failed marriage) were ST and SF types.

 

 

So, based on my results, I strongly recommend its utility. My wife is one of those NF types, and having good communication along with other compatibility has made for a great marriage.

 

It does seem as though the N/S factor is the most important in terms of compatibility.

[salparadise]

No, I was long term married (me = man, I think?), recently out, so the dating is yet future for me...

 

Oops, sorry bout that. I wish LS would designate gender under the avatar.

 

If I was forced to select on this, I'd say I prefer NF types if they are not messy in living, not seeking emotional waves. A tender NF is ideal for me and probably you eh? The last letter will matter nothing to me, and the first just better not be extreme E, or a socially anxious form of I. "It's alphabet soup."

 

Same here. NF to the front of the line. My ex-wife was SF, and my best relationship ever was INFP, so I do understand the differences. I have also dated a ENTJ and a ENFJ.

 

If you do the reading and understand the types cognitively, then actually have relationships with several different types such that it becomes integrated into your understanding rather than applied like label, then it definitely makes sense and may give some pretty good insight as to what to expect.

 

I had a date about a week ago with an SF. We had some fun interaction prior to meeting. But once we met I could just tell that she was far too focused on tangible details, which I just find annoying when I'm working some theory in my head. But an NF will not only get it, they will feel all warm and fuzzy!

 

The ENFJ was really great in bed. I swear, I want me some ENFP!

[GemmaUK]

The ENFJ was really great in bed. I swear, I want me some ENFP!

 

So do I in that case!

Having dated 3 men in their late 30's & early forties in the past 9 years I have to say that all three had no nothing about them in bed...

 

 

So...do you have to get people to take this test then?

 

 

How do you wangle that?

 

 

I have no idea what I am btw..

 

 

But according to my star sign I should date Scorpio, Taurus or Cancer.

So far I dated one Scorpio (he was clingy), 2 Taurus (one was chilled and - good in bed yet unimaginative - but eager to learn - he was ok , one was clingy, jealous and when it came to bedtime selfish wasn't willing to do anything at all to let me have any fun).

Cancer - I dated one - he had watched too much porn it was all in his mind but he couldn't deliver adequately...he actually bruised me badly attempting to give me a massage but didn't listen when I said it hurt. Twit!

 

 

Sorry Mods if this is too rude! It's Friday and I am finally chilling after a very tough week!

*awaits infraction*

No... *expects infraction*...to be honest..

[Mirages]

So...do you have to get people to take this test then?

My preferred one is at 16personalities <dot> com

 

If you get someone to test, I'd avoid looking at their monitior while testing, give them space, even so, self assessment can be less than perfect. I'd start by just understanding and evaluating each of the 4 characteristics, the easiest is introvert/extrovert, work from there.

 

My ex-wife was SF,

Ditto here.

[GemmaUK]

My preferred one is at 16personalities <dot> com

 

If you get someone to test, I'd avoid looking at their monitior while testing, give them space, even so, self assessment can be less than perfect. I'd start by just understanding and evaluating each of the 4 characteristics, the easiest is introvert/extrovert, work from there.

 

Ditto here.

 

 

 

Thanks!

 

 

I will go do the test tomorrow.

 

 

Gawd! I would never lean in on anyone on a lappy nor a phone..one of my ex's mentioned above did that to me always it's invasive, rude and weird!

[salparadise]

So...do you have to get people to take this test then?

 

How do you wangle that?

 

I have no idea what I am btw..

 

A lot of people already know what they are, some post it in their online profile, and others are eager to take the test if you bring it in conversation. It's used in lots of corporations and other organizations as a teamwork exercise to help people interact more effectively.

 

I don't consciously use it as a pre-qualifier to decide if I want to date someone. I think there is potential to have a good relationship with any type (but some more than others), so I try to keep an open mind early on. After a several hours of being around someone and talking I can usually figure it out pretty close.

 

The S/N is the least obvious and most important scale, I think, followed by F/T.

 

I was joking around about the ENFJ being the best in bed. She was, but I don't attribute it to her type so much as her individual nature - wonder if she'd be up for a holiday visit ;-)

 

I have not observed anything that would make me think the MBTI unreliable. Usually when I learn someone's type after knowing them for a short time I think, yea, that makes perfect sense.

 

Let us know what you are...

[Gloria25]

I don't believe in the results of those tests...

 

For the longest, I haven't been truthful on how I answer them. I answer them giving them the results they "want to see/hear".

 

 

So, beware, some people intentionally manipulate the results of those things.

[guest569]

I did this within a classroom once and I think it was pretty spot on. I noticed the people who I thought were like me got similar results. Especially my friend who worked on group projects with me, we always found it so quick and easy to work together.

 

So, maybe it does help with determining compatibility, but I think the best thing would be getting to know them for yourself over time and seeing how the person lives. You can usually tell just from chatting with someone for an hour or so what their personality is like! You could have the same INFJ and still be at each other's throats.