Putting stock in Myers Briggs

[serial muse]

I don't think it's useful so much to have another person tell you what their type is - of course, they could be gaming the system or whatever, and anyway, if you've read a bit about it you can start to figure out how other people might really test (regardless of what they say). And more importantly, even within those 16 types there are infinite varieties of people. I test as an INFP and there are other INFPs out there I can't stand.

 

Where I think it comes in handy is as a framing device. It's a way of understanding differences in communications and basic assumptions (not unlike the Five Love Languages, but on a much broader scale). The S/N difference in particular is a subtle but really key difference in how people approach things. I don't need a guy to tell me "I'm an N" - you can always tell. But it's useful to remember that there's no right and wrong, and also that there are some differences in outlook that can really pose longstanding difficulties, while others aren't so insurmountable. Sometimes you're wondering why you just can't seem to see things the same way, despite endless conversations, and then you read about MBTI types, and it clicks - ohhh. We're not going to.

[GemmaUK]

A lot of people already know what they are, some post it in their online profile, and others are eager to take the test if you bring it in conversation. It's used in lots of corporations and other organizations as a teamwork exercise to help people interact more effectively.

 

I don't consciously use it as a pre-qualifier to decide if I want to date someone. I think there is potential to have a good relationship with any type (but some more than others), so I try to keep an open mind early on. After a several hours of being around someone and talking I can usually figure it out pretty close.

 

The S/N is the least obvious and most important scale, I think, followed by F/T.

 

I was joking around about the ENFJ being the best in bed. She was, but I don't attribute it to her type so much as her individual nature - wonder if she'd be up for a holiday visit ;-)

 

I have not observed anything that would make me think the MBTI unreliable. Usually when I learn someone's type after knowing them for a short time I think, yea, that makes perfect sense.

 

Let us know what you are...

 

 

 

 

I'm an ENFJ!

My variance is assertive and my role is diplomat.

The description is spot on for me.

 

 

I've wondered for a while whether I am 'too' empathetic.

 

 

We had a situation at work yesterday where last week a colleague made a bit of a big error £25K worth of an error which went against a salesman's figures when it shouldn't have. It's happened to him twice in 3 months and he is only new to the company so unlikely to question things as he is busy with learning new stuff and getting sales.

I only spotted the error yesterday and my finance director asked me to get the colleague to correct it. She said she was unable to so I went off and found out that she actually could correct it (I don't know why she said she couldn't) but also I found out I had enough access rights to correct it myself - so I found out how to and just did it.

 

 

Meanwhile my FD ha told me not to tell the salesman nor his manager and just to wait for the fallout.

Knowing this guy's manager I knew that he would get it in the neck swiftly followed by me getting it in the neck. However, I couldn't go and speak to the guy about it as my boss had told me not to.

 

 

The sales guy is new, it didn't seem fair to me so I hung around after work and waited to catch him on his way out. I told him what had happened and he had spotted something odd but hadn't questioned it.

He will get it in the neck next week but I have asked him to direct his boss straight to me and I will explain all to help him out.

 

 

I also speak up about things. I spoke up twice this week about things I am aware of and as a result there will be two management meetings next week off the back of what I have spoken up about.

 

 

A friend also told me about an issue with her ex too and she was massively stressed out about having broken a confidence.

The bigger picture is that her son is number one priority and breaking the confidence is nothing in the scheme of things so I said she should fess up and relieve herself of the stress over that part.

She did approach the person whose confidence she broke and they totally understood why she did it and have no problem that she did.

My friend is now left with anger and concern - but the stress has gone.

 

 

So, I ended up posting a few examples of a pretty standard week for me..

 

 

I also have the negative traits of ENFJ and those are totally displayed in past posts of mine!

 

Must admit that I didn't find any questions awkward though. If you're gonna find out something about yourself honesty is the best policy.

 

 

 

 

And..no my desk space is not always the tidiest....but I am working on that..

 

 

ETA: Having read more about relationships I have found some discrepancies. I am not very needy and also don't tend to ask the 'what are you thinking' type questions. I tend to take relationships a day at a time and think about how happy I am. Again though, I will speak up - but admittedly usually I may hold off and figure out if a battle is worth picking or not.

Edited December 6, 2014 by GemmaUK

[salparadise]

 

I'm an ENFJ!

 

I've wondered for a while whether I am 'too' empathetic.

 

I also have the negative traits of ENFJ and those are totally displayed in past posts of mine!

 

Must admit that I didn't find any questions awkward though. If you're gonna find out something about yourself honesty is the best policy.

 

 

Ah, interesting. I am intimately familiar with ENFJ. Do you like... oh, never mind.

 

I doubt that you need to worry about being too empathetic (is there such thing). There is no right or wrong. The one you're more likely to want to moderate is the J if it's very strong.

 

My ENFJ girlfriend liked for me to cook at her place. I learned where she kept everything so once I started cooking I'd be searching through cabinets not able to find what I was looking for... and either I'd ask or she'd notice, and she'd get so aggravated... "it's on the phuking counter, right in front of you!" She was so organized and orderly that she'd gather up all the ingredients and all of the tools and lay them out for me. She's strong J, I'm soft J. I'd be good with a moderate P but it would drive her nuts. These kinds of understandings really are useful in a sense, but you don't need MBTI to figure out if a person is regimented or helter-skelter.

 

I have met another INTJ online. She brought it up. I don't know if we'll end up meeting or not. Two INTJs aren't a likely match, so she may back out based on it. I'd rather give it a try and see how it goes... because she's really cute, local, and based on her answers to the okc sexuality questions we'd probably wear each other out.

[Thegreatestthing]

Exactly people aren't static,it's ridiculous

 

Been around for ages so it is nothing new.

 

For those who are into it, they can decipher your personality.

 

Never worked for me since every time I took the test, I got different results.

[salparadise]

Exactly people aren't static, it's ridiculous

 

 

Hmmm, SF ? Uncomfortable with the feeling that you're more predictable than you can comprehend?

[Mirages]

When we consider a lot of these sorts of categorical academic subjects, we find that we have always thought through much of it, there were not words to describe it. As a result, we ended up with foggy thoughts about personalities in our brain. With MTBI we are better equipped to attach language to observation. The 5 canons of Greek rhetoric go the same way, they add completeness to an understanding that we already possessed somewhat.

[salparadise]

MBTI Alert: I have a date with an exceptionally attractive 50-year-old INTJ tomorrow or the next night. She sent me her phone number and agreed to a date just little while ago! This was about a week in the making.

 

She brought up Myers-Briggs first. I was kinda hoping she would turn out to be ENFP, but hey at least she's N, and since she happens to be so phuking gorgeous I figure what the hell, I'll give her a shot anyway.

 

She's no shrinking violet, I already know that much!

[MidwestUSA]

I never see mention of ISTPs in these threads. Am I a pariah?

[Mirages]

MBTI Alert: I have a date with an exceptionally attractive 50-year-old INTJ tomorrow or the next night. She sent me her phone number and agreed to a date just little while ago! This was about a week in the making.

Great, I want to hear about this!

[salparadise]

I never see mention of ISTPs in these threads. Am I a pariah?

 

Not at all! It's just that Ns embrace abstract theories and systems, like MBTI. S's embrace what they can see, touch, taste or smell. So they sometimes see us N's as prone to pontification, and MBTI as psycho-babble. I think all types are interesting, and none are any better or worse than any other, just different.

 

Tell us how it feels to be ISTP? What is your impression of N vs. S?

[neowulf]

It does seem as though the N/S factor is the most important in terms of compatibility.

 

Couldn't agree more.

 

Over the years, I've slowly gotten better at picking it out quickly.

 

Some of my most difficult relationships were with SF or ST types.

NF types all the way for me now (I'm an INFJ)

[neowulf]

What is your impression of N vs. S?

 

Most common, reoccurring comments from 'S' Types to me (N Type);

 

"... you think a lot don't you?"

"You think too much"

"... I've never given that much thought to be honest"

"Relax, you're over thinking it"

"Why bother worrying about it? Not like it's going to affect us?"

 

Generally a confusion that so much energy could be spent thinking about things that have little to no bearing on day to day life as we know it.

[Mirages]

"... you think a lot don't you?"

"You think too much"

"... I've never given that much thought to be honest"

While it annoys me as well, or shall I say, uninspires me to be with an S; I must take note that if I was a machine, I'd be an S. For efficiency one just thinks of what must be done next. But humans are the only ones who benefit from innovation & invention. Our kind seems to need some N's to feed that role.

 

Had a job interview this past week, when asked what sales approach I might have for a product, I calmly introduced Aristotle's Ethos, Pathos, Logos modes of appeal. I suspect they were less amused with that part of the interview... I can't help it.

 

Did anyone notice the new "Assertive" vs "Turbulent" metric in the 16personalities page? I came out heavy toward assertive (and I agree) so MTBI in their eyes gained a fifth factor? I can handle five.

[salparadise]

Great, I want to hear about this!

 

We had our date and it was good, very good. We ate dinner, drank wine and talked about two and a half hours. Nobody would've guessed that we were a pair of introverts. She's smart, articulate, has wide-ranging awareness and interests, and she is extremely rational (as expected). She's a teeny-tiny woman. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, barely over 5' tall and probably 100 lbs. I'm 6'2" and 200 lbs. She's attractive.

 

Much of the conversation was peripheral to our understanding of what it's like to be INTJ in a world where we've come to accept that other types don't quite "get" us. One interesting thing was evident; she prefers to embrace traditional gender roles and would defer to me at every opportunity. I am used to progressive women making something of a show of how assertive and independent they can be, and it felt nice-very nice that she doesn't feel the need, and is the opposite in fact.

 

I don't know how our interaction will feel after we move past the awareness of our unusual type pairing and the fact that we have inherent synergy. I need to make the effort to relate on the basis of feeling mode next time. I still have a sense that my natural match would be NF rather than NT, but I'm certainly not drawing any conclusions. I sensed that the attraction and chemistry are there so I'll be asking her out again soon.

[Mirages]

Nobody would've guessed that we were a pair of introverts. ... I still have a sense that my natural match would be NF rather than NT.

Good, I suspect that her finding another NT motivates the conversation, I am the same way, give me a brainy type and I enjoy their time, many other types and I'd rather be alone. Since we tend to shine the most in "work settings," it may be a slight challenge to perform in a purely "feeling," settings around her, i.e. you will never find me dancing, ever. Enjoy.