lonelycop74 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 In January of this year, my wife of 4 years and I seperated. It seemed inevitable as she had brought up seperating a couple months earlier just before we were to go on a cruise for a family vacation. I should note that i married her and did my best t care for her and her two young children as best i could. As I had experienced other people's situations similar to this in my profession and knowing the effect it can cause on children when parents are not getting along or talking, I agreed to the seperation. Needless to day I knew at that tI'm the marriage was over as we had hardly communicated the two years leading up to it. While visiting family in june, for the sake of jus saying hello, messaged a gal I wentered through training with in another department. She currently reside about 3 hours from where I currently work. She agreed to meet for a second as we had not seen each other in almost 12 years. I arrived at her work before her and when she arrivied, my heart hit the pavement. She was as beautiful as the last time I had seen her. We hugged and I found she held it longer than I had thought she would. There was an instant connection. We spoke for a but and, before I left, exchanged hugs again and I noticed she held it longer than the first. We exchanged phone numbers and I left on cloud nine. She contacted me about an hour after I left and we continued to talk, even till now. I was aware she was divorced and, as I had planned even before reaching out to her, had planned on and soon got my divorce. I also was aware that she had a son from her marriage, which was abusive at times and she told me about previous relationships where the men had messed with her head. We decided to take things slow and through talking found we had similar interests in music and sports. She loved that I was close to my family. She told me at one point she felt that she had been so messed up by these last couple of relationships that she might mess any chance eof us having one up. Over several months, I surprised her by having flowers or chocolates deliveredto her work or home. I would even drive into town to catch her and surprise her with flowers that way as well. She knew and told me that I was not like the others she had been dating and not an **shole like they were. Our schedules always seemed to rarely fall into place and she felt that she wanted to ease into me meeting her son. She told me she didn't want another man to come I to her lifefor a while and later rip her heart out and have that effect him. I guess the point to stop this from being too much longer is things have started to slow communication wise. We could go days texting often and then a span where I don't hear from her. Then she would find a chance to call and we would be on the phone for over 3 hours and she would tell me that it was kind of freaking her out how natural it was to talk to me. Then I would hardly hear from her. I'm not sure if she is finding that she cares about me as much as I care about her and is starting to get scared off. For all I know maybe she is not as she seems and is playing with my emotions. The last part I do find harder to believe due to her reaction when we do see each other, which has been rare if not at all the last couple of months. Any ideas on how I should handle this? I'm trying to be supportive, but feels like I'm putting all the effort in to make things work and see her only to not have it reciprocated even in the least. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Some parts you wrote were confusing. I don't understand how you justify her continuous up & down in communication. I guess you spend 3 hours on the phone with her when her son is spending time with his father? Or? I suggest you keep track of when she is available, such as: what day of the week what time how long And after like 3 weeks or a month, see if there's a precise pattern for that. Link to post Share on other sites
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