Hushh Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Please can anyone help me. He works in the same building as me. I've seen him before but never pay too much attention until one day he said hello how are you to me I've answered politely that I'm good and asked him how is he. Since then I started noticing him more often around me. He smiled winked say hello and always look at me. I've also noticed he blush a lot when passing me. Then I think he said about me to him friends because all of the sudden they became nice to me and saying hello. The problem is he never came up to me and start talking to me only hello sometimes wink and always looking and always smiling...sometimes thought he would ignore me specially when he walked with his friend, and instead of him looking at me it was his friend who would look at me almost to check if I'm looking. He could find me in the crowd. Few weeks pass and still there was no sign of him coming up to me...I'm quite shy and I was waiting for him to approaches me first. My feeling started to grow and I felt like it's too much for me. I felt he really liked me. I know body language and all his signals were flirty. One day I've notice he wears gold ring on his left hand finger...wedding ring. My heart went down to my feet and I started to ignoring him most of the time. From time to time looked at him and smile. Sometimes I found him in the crowd looking at me. Then he started avoiding me like really making an effort to avoid me. He wasn't anywhere to find...maybe busy with work or seriously trying to forget about me. From time to time Ive seen him standing with his friends and when I pass then on the corridor he just fixed his eyes at one point and make sure I see him not looking at me or if We passing each other on the corridor he would keep looking at the floor and never at me. My feelings were strong for him but I needed to fight this off because of that gold ring on his finger. For the past 3 weeks I hardly seen him until I almost bumped in to him and didn't have a choice but say hello to him. Later that day I came across him again and he said see you later I only smile. Next day he came around and all started again smiling to me and saying hello how are you. He really made an effort to make sure I notice him again. Few days ago he was standing by the pilar few meters away from me and was looking at me so I looked at him smile and wave my hand signalling hello. He smiled back and wave to me with no other but left hand with that gold ring on his finger. I broke the eye contact and when I looked again he was gone. The next day he started avoiding me again. I really like him. To the point that it hurts. I've never thought I could have so much feelings for someone anymore. How funny....we never really talked only single hello and sometimes how are you. Lots of looking at each other or finding each other in the crowd lots of smiling but never talk. I so need to know if he is a player who is trying to get me in to bed or maybe there is something else. Why he made sure I see the ring on his finger? Why he is avoiding me again? Did I do something wrong? What should I think about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Who cares if he's a player? He's married. Done deal, case closed. He probably made sure you saw the ring because he wants you to know the deal and if you go for it, it's all on you. You should think about going out there and meeting single men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hushh Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 Who cares if he's a player? He's married. Done deal, case closed. He probably made sure you saw the ring because he wants you to know the deal and if you go for it, it's all on you. You should think about going out there and meeting single men. Thank you Zahara for replying. I think so too...he is trying to show me he is married and wants to know if I'm still keen. The thing is he doesn't have that ring on his finger all the time so that's confusing. I've got a friend who wears his mum gold ring after she passed away and I know some guys wear it (not being married) just because they think they can pick up girls like that or for no reason at all. Let's forget about the ring for a moment and think about his behaviour towards me. How would you explain his actions towards me. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 He is definitely subtly flirting with you and showing some level of interest but these cat and mouse games -- you look, he looks, you avoid, he avoids is for the birds. You made an attempt to show him that you are receptive to him and he's done nothing. If anything I have to wonder if he's married and he waiting for you to make the first move. That way he has nothing to feel guilty about because you made the first move. I had this happen to a colleague of mine. You hardly know this man to be hurt. Granted you probably like the attention. Why don't you go out and date? Meet some single men who will approach you and court you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hushh Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 Thanks Zahara. I believe in one thing....if a guy likes a girl he will approach her no matter what....married or not he would still approach at least to try and get to know me, right? maybe I didn't give him enough hints to do that. No...I'm sure I did. Well overall looks like I'm not good enough for him to approach me. So let him play with someone else. Thank you again Zahara. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Thanks Zahara. I believe in one thing....if a guy likes a girl he will approach her no matter what....married or not he would still approach at least to try and get to know me, right? maybe I didn't give him enough hints to do that. No...I'm sure I did. Well overall looks like I'm not good enough for him to approach me. So let him play with someone else. Thank you again Zahara. Why do you have to make it about you? You not being good enough to approach? You don't even know this man but you've placed your worthiness on him? Don't look at it that way. If he's married, scumbag you don't need. If he's single, well too bad it's his loss if he has no courage to approach you. It has nothing to do with you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 He's married. He enjoys the G-rated flirtation of smiling at you in the hall & winking. That is all he wants out of his interactions with you. There is no future for you with him. Since he lives in your building & you have to see him continue to be polite but don't think your interactions are ever going to deepen into a date or a relationship. Do not cause trouble for him with his wife because of your unrequited crush. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amalthea Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Please don't get offended. I personally don't think he's interested in you at all. I think you're obsessing about this guy to the point where you've made nothing into something. I can guarantee that he's not sitting on his computer making posts in forums about you. He probably felt you staring at him all the time, and started back to try to figure out why. I don't think he is flirting or trying to start anything with you. I think you should move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hushh Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 Thanks for your reply and no I'm not offended. I welcome all comments. And yes you are right I don't think he would sit and ask other people on the website forums about me. There is more to my story that strongly indicate he likes me. I've noticed him before but never pay much attention to him as He always looked miserable and unattractive. I've noticed him after he said the first hi how are u and as he was walking away he kept turning his head to look at me. The next day he made sure I've noticed him again...he waited for me at the door and kept open until I pass through. And then all the looking at me smiling at me winking started....then he told his friends about me and they all became nice to me and looking at me as well. Anyway thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 He is a married person playing games with you. You would be foolish to get involved. Messing about with married men means the only people who get hurt are you, (when he refuses to leave his wife, despite spinning you a yarn for ages that he loves you), his wife (when she finds out he cheated on her) and any children they may have, (when their parents split up due to his affair with you). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hushh Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Thank you guys for all your comments and thoughts. You helped me a lot to reassure myself what would be the right thing to do. In any scenario like this girls think too much about what if....or maybe he is not happy with his wife or wearing ring for fun only Or whatever. You guys all been right. I'm better that some cheap scum. Just feel sorry for his wife....if he got one. Thank you again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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