Soooo, I Had An Insane Thing Happen to Me

[Amalthea]

I've been single for about a year, so I figured that I would finally try online dating. I posted an ad, and and I liked one of my responses, so we started emailing, then we exchanged numbers. We texted for 2 months without exchanging pics. He told me that he was a very cautious person, and he didn't seem to be in a rush to meet. He is also from India and has only been in my city and the USA for about 4 years. Whatever. I'm not in a huge hurry, so I just texting. The texting grew very frequent and after two months, we were texting all through the day. One afternoon he called me. After a week of phone calls, he wanted to exchange pics. After the pic exchange, he decided that he did want to meet. He told me how connected he felt to me, and that he felt we knew enough about each other from 3 months of communication to start dating without being friends first. He said everything sort of professing his love. We definitely had connected, and had a great time with our phone chats, so I told him I'd meet him. A few days later, he told me that he had to make an emergency trip to India to see his ailing mom. He wanted to meet the next day, and he was very pushy. I agreed. He ended cancelling before we met because he said he had too much to be before the next morning. He said he'd be gone for 3 weeks,

 

SO he left. The first day he was in India he texted me and said, "I've only been here for one day and I already miss you so much." Less than two hours later, he sent a another text that said, "I'm sorry. I don't think I can connect with you ever." I was like, WTF? I texted back asking for an explanation, but he didn't respond anymore. I just deleted his number. Girls are screwed over by jerks everyday.

 

Here is the weird part, last night I get this phone call from India. I answer it and it's his MOM! I NEVER spoke to his mom, or had any contact with her. She was very nice. It was weird because she knew everything about me. He told her everything. She told me that he had reconnected with his ex (not to be mean, but his ex is much older and looks like a fat man) but that he was so broken and torn because of me, because he did have feelings for me, but was having trouble letting his ex go. She started asking if I was ready to marry him if they could work something out, then she bad mouthed him. She said she wasn't ill. He had lied to me. She said he went back to India to see his ex. She told me that he was with his ex as we spoke. She told me how much she liked his ex, yet she was upset with me for not just showing up at his house or office even though he wasn't ready to meet. She asked me all kinds of personal questions. This call lasted about 2 hours. I was dumbfounded. I finally said to her, "He's with his ex. He broke communication with me. I'm pretty sure he wants to be with her." She kept asking me if I still had feelings for him and if I would consider seeing him when he came back. She said that she had called me hoping to get information about him, but he had given her my number. She ended the call by telling me that she really likes me, thinks I'm beautiful, and hopes that she will have good news for me.

 

Besides a whole lot of drama (that I am not going to get myself involved in) does anyone know what that was? This guy is in his 30's. I have never had a guy's mom call me after he ditched me.

 

I was having a fun time getting to know this guy, and I was interested in going on a date with him, but that's as far as my thoughts went.

 

Any insight?

[evanescentworld]

Yes.

Block his number, block hers and have nothing further to do with him.

The guy is a liar, a momma'as boy and indecisive, flaky and fickle.

 

Move on, and do not entertain a single second more of this drama.

Yech. Who needs it!?

[me85]

Wow. I bet that was strange! I'd be dumbfounded too! I don't know how you stayed on the phone with her that long. I wouldn't have been able to do it. Very weird that she called you. I'd have to say it's best that you block both her and her son's number.

 

And to think, you could've gotten a free trip to India...lol

[Amalthea]

 

And to think, you could've gotten a free trip to India...lol

 

She asked me if my passport is current and if I've applied for an Indian visa. LOL!

[Amalthea]

She was still insisting that I'm going to hear from him, and I was like, why would I want to hear from anyone who ditched me for a woman who looks like a man?

 

Sorry. I am just in utter shock and amusement over the whole thing.

 

My ex fiancee's mom didn't even call me when he and I broke up, and I KNEW her!

[CaliGypsy]

Sounds like a very bizarre situation that you are lucky you didn't get mixed up in any farther.

 

Run, like the wind!!

[me85]

She was still insisting that I'm going to hear from him, and I was like, why would I want to hear from anyone who ditched me for a woman who looks like a man?

 

Sorry. I am just in utter shock and amusement over the whole thing.

 

My ex fiancee's mom didn't even call me when he and I broke up, and I KNEW her!

 

So weird! What's wrong with that woman? I think it's Indian culture or something. My ex dated an Indian chick for several years and her mom tried hooking them back up years later after they split. Strange. I know there are some moms of all heritages who interfere with their children's love lives ... but they definitely should not.

Edited December 5, 2014 by me85

[Amalthea]

It was weird for her to repeat everything he had told her about me. I didn't tell him anything extremely personal, but she knew about my ex. She even told me he's not a virgin. Most people over 30 aren't. LOL!

[me85]

OMG! Are you serious??? Too freaking funny!

[Amalthea]

I mean, her son DITCHED me for a woman who looks like a potato, and his mother doesn't know me. Why did she call me? That's what makes no sense to me whatsoever.

[me85]

haha potato ! What is that?? My ex left me for an UGLY girl who had very masculine features aaand came crawling back to me then left again for a much younger - girl next door type, she's pretty but she's...well whatever! lol

 

Doesn't make any sense to us on here either! So did ya block that woman?

Edited December 6, 2014 by me85

[SycamoreCircle]

I'm a pretty seasoned OLD'er. My advice to you if you wish to have any level of success with OLD:

 

-establish that the person you are communicating with is halfway sane

-arrange to meet for coffee(nothing more)

-decide after that meeting if you want to meet again

 

Any other formula is going to cause problems.

[Amalthea]

I just checked and I have no idea how to block numbers on my phone. LOL! I'll have to google it.

 

Thanks for the OLD advice. I am so skeptical and cynical right now. I mean, I did enjoy talking to this guy, and I did hope we'd start dating, but when he ditched me, I didn't even react. I am seriously so over crap. I know looks shouldn't mean anything, but this ex, OMG.

 

I started another thread on all of my dating blunders. I swear, I cannot meet a nice guy. I'm in my 30's, and now a lot of my friends are starting on their second marriage. I can't even get to my first (and hopefully only) one.

[me85]

I just checked and I have no idea how to block numbers on my phone. LOL! I'll have to google it.

 

Thanks for the OLD advice. I am so skeptical and cynical right now. I mean, I did enjoy talking to this guy, and I did hope we'd start dating, but when he ditched me, I didn't even react. I am seriously so over crap. I know looks shouldn't mean anything, but this ex, OMG.

 

I started another thread on all of my dating blunders. I swear, I cannot meet a nice guy. I'm in my 30's, and now a lot of my friends are starting on their second marriage. I can't even get to my first (and hopefully only) one.

 

So you really really want to meet someone and are trying your upmost to do so, huh? Well, I wish you luck! But sometimes when you stop trying - something incredible happens. (= I thought I wanted marriage and kids... now I just want a nicer vehicle (instead of driving the only one I've ever had), the dream job (working in the music or film industry), a house of my own (somewhere far from my home state) and to keep my dog alive as long as possible because he's the truest friend I've ever had in my whole life!

[Amalthea]

So you really really want to meet someone and are trying your upmost to do so, huh? Well, I wish you luck! But sometimes when you stop trying - something incredible happens. (= I thought I wanted marriage and kids... now I just want a nicer vehicle (instead of driving the only one I've ever had), the dream job (working in the music or film industry), a house of my own (somewhere far from my home state) and to keep my dog alive as long as possible because he's the truest friend I've ever had in my whole life!

 

I don't even know! LOL! As I get older, the thought of never having children is a little scary, but maybe I'm really not meant to? Maybe I'm frustrated because I spent so many years in a relationship with a guy who wouldn't hold my hand, let alone have sex with me? LOL!

 

BTW- My background is in film and television.

[SycamoreCircle]

OP, it sounds like you really need to work on your boundaries. That means knowing when to say no, for your own well-being.

 

No, I don't want to be in a relationship with a person who can't show affection.

No, I don't want to wait months on end to meet someone I'm chatting with online.

 

Search yourself, you know what makes you feel special, what gives you satisfaction. If those things aren't being met, make a decision. That purposefulness in yourself will radiate to other people. You will meet more respectful people.

[me85]

I don't even know! LOL! As I get older, the thought of never having children is a little scary, but maybe I'm really not meant to? Maybe I'm frustrated because I spent so many years in a relationship with a guy who wouldn't hold my hand, let alone have sex with me? LOL!

 

BTW- My background is in film and television.

 

Really??? Nice! I bet it's awesome!

 

I know, as I get older (I'm 29) the less I want to be in another RS. I spent my entire 20's in one serious long term RS or another and I really want to be single for the majority of my 30's (if not all of my 30's) lol. Gosh I just need a break! & oh the heartache I suffered, man, it was brutal! I haven't had sex in 6 months! O M G. I miss affection so much! But I'm really surprised at how I've managed all this time. I thought I'd go insane or die from celibacy but it turns out that it's probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't believe you were in a affectionless RS like that. I'm sorry /= That must have been horrible!