Find myself here again feeling real pathetic

[cherie88]

:(

 

So I met an old friend at the subway, and he showed interest in me. Telling me how beautiful I looked. Long story short he asked me out and admitted to me he always wanted to ask me out but didnt have the courage to. He made a home meal dinner for me at his place, and well things moved pretty fast and I ended up sleeping with him. He showed interest still, and would call me baby check up on me every know an then. Finally i seen him again, we did it again but noticed something perculiar that day.. i saw him staring at pictures of another girl but bthought nothing of it. You know the saying you "dig" for dirt and youll found it..well

I found it. Found out later that hes been keeping in contact with her ... he went to his house for dinner theyve been talking every day. I will contact him but doesnt show interest in talking to me or checking on me like he use to.

I know its only a month but it hurts. Was it just sex? just attraction? I feel like confronting him but im not the confrontational type. Also im not suppose to know this information I did some serious detective work. I stopped talking to him but i feel like he doesnt notice or care.

I thought about texting him but thats just asking for miscommunication.. should i just shrug my shoulders and move on or confront inthe fear of looking pathetic or immature...or should i just ask him what this was? Im so afraid. Im tryna protect my feelings

[whichwayisup]

Many men are capable of separating love and sex. And also they have no issues with sleeping with, fooling around with many women at the same time.

 

You deserve better and more! but, you'll never get that from this piggy... Dump his greasy ass!! Just because he cooked you a meal, complimented you, made you feel special, doesn't mean anything. A lot of guys play the game and as soon as the next one comes along, the one before is forgotten about.

[anika99]

He is showing you by his actions that he isn't interested anymore. Best to chalk it up to experience and move on. There is nothing he is going to say to you that will make this feel better and he's likely to not even be truthful with you anyways. Just save your pride and stop talking to him.

 

 

And if you are not a person who can separate feelings from sex then you should not have sex with a romantic interest until you have established a relationship with them. Jumping into the sack with a guy is great if you are doing it just for the sex but if you are looking for a serious relationship then you have to show some restraint until you get to know the person.

[herself]

Sounds like its his schtik...find a girl...flirt, compliment her and get her into bed a few times, then losing interest he needs a new venture to stroke his ego and hes onto the next.

Oh but wait...he still checks in here and there just enough to keep her interested...every guy knows women feel special if you call them "baby".

So...hes a loser and no good...just conquests...he feels like the man...probably thinks "worked like a charm" every time he does the home cooked meal and sex evening.

Just cut him out of your life, literally FREEZE him out...block # and dissappear otherwise your stuck in that I will show him I am worthy, that he wants to be with me, I will be so great he wont want the other girl. Its a lame game and existence. You'll never win it.

Ya your ego is bruised but you dodged a bullet.

[elaine567]

probably thinks "worked like a charm" every time he does the home cooked meal and sex evening.

 

...Ya your ego is bruised but you dodged a bullet.

 

This...^^^

 

Also calling someone baby, babe, darling, sweetie etc. is a way of sounding affectionate, but is often used by men in case they forget your name or by mistake call you by some other girl's name.

[GirlStillStrong]

:(

 

So I met an old friend at the subway, and he showed interest in me. Telling me how beautiful I looked. Long story short he asked me out and admitted to me he always wanted to ask me out but didnt have the courage to. He made a home meal dinner for me at his place, and well things moved pretty fast and I ended up sleeping with him. He showed interest still, and would call me baby check up on me every know an then. Finally i seen him again, we did it again but noticed something perculiar that day.. i saw him staring at pictures of another girl but bthought nothing of it. You know the saying you "dig" for dirt and youll found it..well

I found it. Found out later that hes been keeping in contact with her ... he went to his house for dinner theyve been talking every day. I will contact him but doesnt show interest in talking to me or checking on me like he use to.

I know its only a month but it hurts. Was it just sex? just attraction? I feel like confronting him but im not the confrontational type. Also im not suppose to know this information I did some serious detective work. I stopped talking to him but i feel like he doesnt notice or care.

I thought about texting him but thats just asking for miscommunication.. should i just shrug my shoulders and move on or confront inthe fear of looking pathetic or immature...or should i just ask him what this was? Im so afraid. Im tryna protect my feelings

 

If you want to protect your feelings then you need to start acknowledging the truth and OWN your desires, decisions, and actions.

 

You did not just "end up sleeping with him," you specifically went to a man's place just for dinner? No, you knew what you were doing and you went there to have sex with him.

 

"Finally" you see him again and the two of you do "it" again? Do what, exactly?

 

Take ownership of your own wants and desires. Tell what YOU did, not what he did or the two of you, "we," did. YOU wanted to have sex with him so you went to his house and had sex with him. Then, under some circumstances you do not describe, you had sex with him again. For whatever reason he is no longer interested. So what? You tried your hand at this guy, and you only chose him because he was familiar and convenient, but it didn't work out. So pick another guy. You sound young so there should be plenty of guys to pick from. He doesn't sound like such a great guy to begin with. Don't put him on a pedestal just because you had sex with him, because doing so says NOTHING about how compatible you are with him. It just says you wanted to have sex with him. To add to this, you need to know that if you really want a long-term relationship and not just get laid, it is best to wait quite a while before having sex with the guy you think you might want to have a LT relationship with.

 

For what it's worth, yes, the polite and socially correct thing for him to do would have been to let you know he is no longer interested and state his personal feelings. But not all guys are emotionally mature enough to do that. Next time, pick a guy who IS emotionally mature enough to have that kind of conversation BEFORE you have sex with him, if that's what's important to you.

[cherie88]

Well decided to get it off my chest and let him know how i felt..

this situation was particularly annoying to me cause he always preaches about how to treat women and i had to let him know, i told him he led me on intentional or not and told him "he should use his own advice" for once

I look back at our messages and him calling me babe, offering to care of me when i was ill.. goes a far long way for just wanting sex. In my opnion those charades were completely un necessary i would have had more respect for him if he just hit it and quit it after the first day, instead of playing all these mind games. He responded by saying "youre right im an *******, i never clarified anythig, im sorry for makng you feel like what we had wasnt special" Do you think hes genuine? or just trying to get me off his hair...

In addition i know he was talking to another girl shortly after me...

 

-The other day i bumped into him and he pretended he didnt see me, and i saw his roomate and he was acting quite strange aswell?

What does this mean

[goodyblue]

I am a little confused why everyone is saying how awful this guy is. You were not in a committed relationship, you dated for a month and had sex twice. I don't understand why you are tripping so hard. If he never promised to be monogamous with you then really you have no claim on him and he is a free agent.

 

I am sorry you got your feelings hurt but he has moved on and so should you. Lots of single men out there ready for a monogamous relationship, have hope.

 

Xx

[whichwayisup]

Well decided to get it off my chest and let him know how i felt..

this situation was particularly annoying to me cause he always preaches about how to treat women and i had to let him know, i told him he led me on intentional or not and told him "he should use his own advice" for once

I look back at our messages and him calling me babe, offering to care of me when i was ill.. goes a far long way for just wanting sex. In my opnion those charades were completely un necessary i would have had more respect for him if he just hit it and quit it after the first day, instead of playing all these mind games. He responded by saying "youre right im an *******, i never clarified anythig, im sorry for makng you feel like what we had wasnt special" Do you think hes genuine? or just trying to get me off his hair...

In addition i know he was talking to another girl shortly after me...

 

-The other day i bumped into him and he pretended he didnt see me, and i saw his roomate and he was acting quite strange aswell?

What does this mean

 

Respectfully, I don't understand why you're still interested in the guy when he's treated you so poorly. He ignores you most of the time.

 

In December I told you to dump his greasy ass, nearly 5 months later you're still hung up on him and wondering if he is sincere. He isn't.

[jellybean89]

I'm a bit confused. Is he married or in a relationship with someone else (trying to figure out why this post is in OW/OM and not dating).

 

He flirted and enjoyed his time with you, but doesn't sound like he wants a relationship, just fun. If that's ok with you, go for it. Just know he is t saying he wants to date you and only you..make sure you both are on the same page.