The "number scale" of attractiveness

[NJ123]

 

Looks are not subjective, unless you're comparing people in the same level on the scale to each other. An 8 to a 5 is not subjective. Unless you can't do better than a 5 yourself. Then it's rationalized.

 

There's some that are placed in the 9 bracket that are absolutely not 9s to me. Not even close. Over half of them actually. I find some in the 7 & 8 bracket more attractive than a lot of the ones considered a 9. This thing was pretty mean to do though especially by using these women's pictures without permission. But as I said realistically a lot of people are not in the 7+ range even if it's unfair.

Edited December 6, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Phoe]

There's some that are placed in the 9 bracket that are absolutely not 9s to me. Not even close. Over half of them actually. I find some in the 7 & 8 bracket more attractive than a lot of the ones considered a 9. This thing was pretty mean to do though especially by using these women's pictures without permission. But as I said realistically a lot of people are not in the 7+ range even if it's unfair.

 

I agree, using photos is going too far.

 

But if going by that, I personally rarely see any people that I would put below a 6, and there are pics on that scale below a 6, that I think ought to be raised up. They are better looking than that graph dictates.

[deathandtaxes]

Looks are not subjective, unless you're comparing people in the same level on the scale to each other. An 8 to a 5 is not subjective. Unless you can't do better than a 5 yourself. Then it's rationalized.

 

There's some good research out there at what's generally accepted to be good looking. At lot of it has to do with symmetry. But this number stuff....just judging looks? Sheesh. I don't use. Don't use with my buddies. It doesn't take a lot into consideration about a person. I know it's what you're gonna first see. But just so superficial.

Edited December 6, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Haydn]

They do in my experience.

 

 

2nd that one.

[Phoe]

There's some good research out there at what's generally accepted to be good looking. At lot of it has to do with symmetry. But this number stuff....just judging looks? Sheesh. I don't use. Don't use with my buddies. It doesn't take a lot into consideration about a person. I know it's what you're gonna first see. But just so superficial.

 

Symmetry and proportions definitely a key factor, then from there come the personal preferences like skin tone, hair color, eye color etc.

 

And personality of course, factors in so much that there's no quantifiable way to measure that once it's factored in.

[NJ123]

2nd that one.

 

You both happen to be from England, it's probably more common there than in the U.S. for women to approach guys all the time. Here in the U.S. the overwhelming majority of women want the guy to approach first.

[NJ123]

Symmetry and proportions definitely a key factor, then from there come the personal preferences like skin tone, hair color, eye color etc.

 

And personality of course, factors in so much that there's no quantifiable way to measure that once it's factored in.

 

I think it has to do with what society in general deems as attractive. Like for instance the way cheerleaders, supermodels & actresses look are what guys find most attractive. And they go by what they look like as what's considered attractive in a woman in society. While women look at male models & actors for what they deem as attractive in general.

[Danda]

lol the real world don't work like that either normally. Unless you're a male model looking guy most women want the guy to initiate the first move. Rarely does the woman ever do it.

 

I am pretty sure myself and my female friends over the years have lived in the real world lol. Women might not typically approach men quite the same way men typically approach women, but that doesn't mean women don't approach.

 

Looks are not subjective, unless you're comparing people in the same level on the scale to each other. An 8 to a 5 is not subjective. Unless you can't do better than a 5 yourself. Then it's rationalized.

 

Sometimes I can't tell if people who say this truly believe it, or if they are just needing some reassurance?

 

There is so much evidence proving you wrong all over the place, I'm just not sure how you could be serious.

 

Take a run of the mill porn site. It will have an entire section dedicated to "BBW" porn. Those women are 01-02 for some men but also 08-10 for others. To yet other men still they are 04-05 because I've known couples where one or both spouse was obese and they not only pursued each other but also had sex, trust me.

 

It is extremely subjective, which is why in my opinion the scale stuff is a useful tool for quickly and bluntly describing one's personal level of attraction to someone else, and not much more.

 

Yes, there will be some common trends, that is normal and nothing wrong with it. A supermodel will probably be a 08-10 to way more straight men than to whom she will be a 01-03. But that still doesn't mean she won't be placed all over that scale if we truth-serum'ed every man on the planet and forced them into a survey.

 

I had my first 'casual encounter' recently with a guy who probably would have ranked himself as an 'objective' 3 or 4. He was so insecure and when we first started texting he would not stfu about worrying that his face, penis and so on were not attractive enough. He was an 07-08 in my eyes and I thoroughly enjoyed playing with him for over two hours. So why did he have such **** self-esteem? My guess is that he had been turned down recently from a few women who ranked him 4 or lower, and the bad luck streak bruised his ego. Meanwhile I was super nervous because I had never fooled around with a guy as hot as him before.

 

I can meet you halfway in that sometimes there are trends, but that doesn't make it suddenly not subjective.

[Harradin]

Only thing you need to know about the number scale of attractiveness is that there is no such thing as a 10/10! For example Scarlett Johansson is a 9.9/10

[NJ123]

I am pretty sure myself and my female friends over the years have lived in the real world lol. Women might not typically approach men quite the same way men typically approach women, but that doesn't mean women don't approach.

 

I'm not saying women don't ever approach, but the majority do not. They want the guy to make the first move. At least in the U.S. it's like that, maybe it's a bit different in other countries.

[NJ123]

Only thing you need to know about the number scale of attractiveness is that there is no such thing as a 10/10! For example Scarlett Johansson is a 9.9/10

 

I don't think she's close to a 9.9 honestly lol. I'd rate her a 7.5. She has a really great body, but I don't find her face to be the most beautiful.

[xxoo]

Looks are not subjective, unless you're comparing people in the same level on the scale to each other. An 8 to a 5 is not subjective. Unless you can't do better than a 5 yourself. Then it's rationalized.

 

The person I fall for rises in attractiveness, to the damn top.

 

My husband, to me, is as hot as Charlie Hunnam. Electrically sexy. That doesn't mean I married a man with movie star good looks.

[NJ123]

I live in the US. Women WILL approach a man they find attractive, but they might not be as obvious about it as men tend to be. I had a woman hit on me at the store about a week or so ago. She didn't ask me out on a date or anything, but she made it pretty obvious to me she was interested.

 

Well, what did she do specifically for you to know she was interested?

[Danda]

I'm not saying women don't ever approach, but the majority do not. They want the guy to make the first move. At least in the U.S. it's like that, maybe it's a bit different in other countries.

 

I'm in the U.S.

 

I just think maybe a lot of men don't recognize it when a woman is trying to get their attention. I do get the impression that a lot of men make the mistake of projecting the average male mentality onto women when it comes to a lot of things sex/romance related.

 

A lot of women believe that men prefer to pursue, so most women won't walk up to a man they find attractive and say, "Hey sexy, I would really like to **** you," or "Damn you're really cute, can we go out on a date?"

 

That's a very forward approach which is more common for men, in my observations.

 

Instead a woman might keep obviously eyeing you and smiling. That is her initiating. If it's a club type setting, she will just so happen to be 'randomly' dancing - and dance her way 'randomly' right over to where you are. A more confident woman might scoot up next to you at the bar, smile and maybe even playfully say something vague like, "Could the music in here be any more lame?"

 

Women tend to be less brazen and instead try to give you blatant "come hither" signals. That is often how they initiate. They want to let you know they're feeling you, but they also want to let you express some carnal masculinity and do the more forward work. Because (A) it's assumed that you want to, and (B) a lot of women are turned on by being pursued more aggressively (in a respectful manner from a guy to whom they've given giant, green strobe lights).

 

If you only consider "initiating" in terms of how the average man might attempt it, then yeah I can see how you would perceive that women never initiate. But just like you can't typically give a woman an orgasm the same way you give yourself one, so too does it help to understand differences in approach style.

[Phoe]

I entered her store and since she was the first employee to make eye contact, I asked her for help. She was supposed to be watching the register, but instead of getting someone else to help me, she asked some guy to watch the register for her so she could help me. She was very chatty while she was getting the stuff I asked for, and some of the things she was talking about were a little personal, talking about how she doesn't like to drink, ect. Nothing big, but it was about her, not just small talk like the weather. Before I left the store, she asked me for my name (huge clue) and told me hers. I told her I knew her name already because of the name tag, and she laughed a little, while her face got kinda red from embarrassment. As I was walking out of the store she told me it was nice meeting me. If I didn't have a GF, I would have turned that into a date.

 

Really? I don't see anything blatant there, just friendly chatting. I do that with everyone and nobody thinks I'm hitting on them

[MissBee]

I've seen a lot of discussions lately about the number scale, and what it means.

 

A lot of it is subjective, and many have discussed how one person's 7 might be another person's 4, and so on.

 

One thing I'm curious about, is how some folks idea of the median level of attractiveness works, along the scale.

 

I imagine some people see it as a bell curve, where there's a middle, and it evenly spreads out between both ends in either direction.

 

Others might see it as a straight diagonal line on a graph, moving upwards evenly.

 

I see it differently. My graph would not be straight at all.

 

Even though 5 is dead in the middle of the graph, I don't necesarilly view that as the "average" number.

 

Women, for example. I personally think the majority of women are a 7 or above. It's rare that I see a woman who isn't cute. It has to be a matter of serious grooming or hygiene failure or something really unfortunate. Otherwise, I think most people are good looking.

 

By looking at it in terms of mean, median, or mode, you get different numbers. And the way I look at it, because maybe 80-90% of women are 7 or up, that seems to raise the average, IMO.

 

Anyone else see it the way I do? Anyone see it differently?

 

I know plenty of people don't believe in numbers, but those that use them, how does your personal scale work?

 

I don't have a personal scale. I've never personally thought about attraction in terms of looks only or in terms of an arbitrary number system.

 

For me attraction covers a lot more than whether I think someone is good looking. I think lots of people are good looking and I am not attracted to them, so if you're someone who thinks about attraction as more than looks, then the number scale isn't really useful as how do you quantify that. Even in terms of looks...not even beauty pageants attempt to quantify contestants by looks.

 

If I use the phrase "He's a 10", it's only a metaphor and not a scale where I'm actually ranking him against other possible numbers. The metaphor for me just means he's all I want or has a lot of desirable aspects I like, which aren't only about looks. I also don't really ever use that phrase either but if I did that's what it would mean and not that he's a 10 and then I can go point you to a 7, a 5, a 6.4 etc.

[NJ123]

Really? I don't see anything blatant there, just friendly chatting. I do that with everyone and nobody thinks I'm hitting on them

 

To me that would be a sign of interest too though. I mean she personally helped him when she should have been watching the register, & was giving a bit personal details about herself. As well as blushing after the name tag thing. I'd take it she'd have interest in me. Than even saying it was nice meeting him.

[Anela]

First clue was the fact that she chose to help me herself. I go there often, and when someone is working the register, they always get someone else to help me.

 

Then, while she was helping me, she was chatty, another clue. I needed her to count out of bunch of items and bag them up for me. She even told me she put in a few extra for me.

 

She asked me my name, which was the biggest clue. Just being friendly and helpful is one thing, but wanting to know my name is another.

 

The embarrassed laugh is another clue. If I was just another customer, she might not care as much. People are more easily embarrassed when they are around someone they find attractive.

 

When she said it was nice to meet me, I was already walking away. We were done talking, but she was obviously watching me leave.

 

I have turned far less than that into a date. I bet the next time I see her she makes it even more obvious. She was probably a 6-7 Cute girl.

 

So the young guy who helped me out, just before Halloween, might have been hitting on me? He left his counter to help me, complimented me on my accent, and was chatty, but also kind of shy. I found out a few things about him on the way to another aisle.

[NJ123]

So the young guy who helped me out, just before Halloween, might have been hitting on me? He left his counter to help me, complimented me on my accent, and was chatty, but also kind of shy. I found out a few things about him on the way to another aisle.

 

In all probability I'd say so. But the way he did it is how women hit on men. He wasn't direct in his approach which is why you probably didn't get the idea he was interested since as you said he was shy.

[Phoe]

First clue was the fact that she chose to help me herself. I go there often, and when someone is working the register, they always get someone else to help me.

 

Then, while she was helping me, she was chatty, another clue. I needed her to count out of bunch of items and bag them up for me. She even told me she put in a few extra for me.

 

She asked me my name, which was the biggest clue. Just being friendly and helpful is one thing, but wanting to know my name is another.

 

The embarrassed laugh is another clue. If I was just another customer, she might not care as much. People are more easily embarrassed when they are around someone they find attractive.

 

When she said it was nice to meet me, I was already walking away. We were done talking, but she was obviously watching me leave.

 

I have turned far less than that into a date. I bet the next time I see her she makes it even more obvious. She was probably a 6-7 Cute girl.

 

I dunno....

 

I used to work retail and this was standard.

 

It's good manners that when someone asks for help you help them. Employees really shouldn't be shuffling customers off on one another. If a customer asks YOU, you help them. Especially since there was someone else available to watch the register. It would be rude to pass you off onto another employee.

 

Chatting with customers is also standard. Sometimes personal stuff comes up. Retail employees like to make a quick connection with a customer. Especially if they work on commission or have a goal to reach.

 

Many retail places don't have commission anymore, but still have a standard sale rate you ought to reach if you want to get good hours or a raise/promotion. Jumping off a register to personally help someone is a good way to make sure you're creditted for the sale.

 

Blushing? Meh. I blush when I'm embarassed too. Doesn't mean I like a guy!

[Anela]

Jumping off a register to personally help someone is a good way to make sure you're creditted for the sale.

 

 

This was what I originally thought. Thanks for the confirmation.

[Phoe]

You saying this clears up some things about you. I remember in another thread you said only a handful of guys had ever hit on you in your life. Now, here you are picking apart a time someone is hit on saying you don't see it. I bet you have been hit on many more times then you think.

 

I suppose it's hard to consider something a come on, when it could also so easily be just friendliness.

 

I act this way all the time, super friendly and chatty with people, and no one thinks I'm hitting on them. If they did, wouldn't you think I'd get asked out? Men say all they need is a girl being friendly and giving them a green light, but that's clearly not true. There needs to be something exceptionally more blatant to take it from friendly to an actual approach.

[Phoe]

I have a GF or else I would have made a move on this girl. Maybe a lot of the guys you are friendly with also have GF's, or maybe they just don't realize what you are doing. When I was younger, I was oblivious when women were interested in me.

 

It WOULD be my luck that every single man I've ever spoken to was taken or oblivious, but is that really possible?

 

I just think that most people don't take friendliness as anything more than friendliness.

[Anela]

I suppose it's hard to consider something a come on, when it could also so easily be just friendliness.

 

I act this way all the time, super friendly and chatty with people, and no one thinks I'm hitting on them. If they did, wouldn't you think I'd get asked out? Men say all they need is a girl being friendly and giving them a green light, but that's clearly not true. There needs to be something exceptionally more blatant to take it from friendly to an actual approach.

 

I smile and blush, as well, but I used to be teased about boys who wanted to spend time with me. I don't remember them specifically asking me out, and they had girls that they dated, so I thought they would come right out and say something if they were interested. The same goes for men. One guy I knew, had my other friends throwing themselves at him. I didn't, so I thought he just felt safer around me.

[Phoe]

Well, they should. There is a thread on here right now about how unattractive people are treated differently. People are just more friendly to people they find attractive. I know for a fact I could have gotten a date out of that girl if I wanted, easy.

 

I'm friendly to everyone, no matter what they look like. Unless they're just a mean person, then I just walk away from the situation.