CadeYeager Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 A buddy of mine whom I've known for 10+ years always wants to hang out when it's convenient for him. We're both 22 and have things going on. I understand that, but every time I ask if he's down to hang out, he beats around the bush. For example: I ask him on a Monday if he's down to go out for a drink on Thursday night. His typical answer would be "I don't know what I'm doing. I'll have to see if there's anything going on." This has been the typical response for the past 50 times I've invited him out. The dude is GLUED to his phone, but never responses to a text or call I make to him. All I take from this response is "I'm gonna see if there anything better going on, if not we can chill" It pisses me off. Some of you guys might wonder why not just pull away...? Well that's what I'm going to do. It just sucks to see a longterm friendship dwindle down. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 I'm afraid you're right. He's got you way down the priority list. I'd stop calling him at all. He is only going out with you if there's nothing else he'd rather do. That's downright insulting. Now, if he has a girlfriend, then it's possible he's not going out unless she is otherwise occupied, which he might not know until the last minute and that's if they are not communicating well or he is not being truthful to her. Because normal people can make plans ahead of time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CadeYeager Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 I'm afraid you're right. He's got you way down the priority list. I'd stop calling him at all. What do you suggest I do? I know that eventually I'm going to receive a text along the lines of "Hey dude! What are you doing this weekend?" It's annoys the HELL out of me when I get those. Should I just outright ignore him or just tell him straight up that he's been a ****ty friend? Sorry for the language... this issue just bothers me a lot because I know I've put in so much more towards the friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 My advice on this subject, whether it's a lover or a friend is if you're being taken for granted, become less available. Then if they really want to get together, they are forced to make a plan ahead of time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 I agree with preraph. Unfortunately you're not a priority to your friend, period. I think it's totally rude the way he tells you he can't commit to plans with you ahead of time until he knows what else is going on. That's so mean, to say that to someone he's known for over 10 years! I mean, wow. I would not put up with that treatment from a friend. In fact, I wouldn't even categorize someone who treats me like that as a friend. I'd categorize them as a jerk. The best strategy for you is to just stop asking your friend to get together from now on. Just stop contacting him. Instead, contact other friends and spend time with those people, especially the ones who respect you enough to commit to plans with you ahead of time. Those are the friendships you should nurture and foster, not like with this guy you've known since childhood who doesn't respect your friendship enough to commit to plans ahead of time with you. You deserve to have friends who make you a priority in their life, not an option. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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