Gloria25 Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 I normally cut off meeting new people around the height of summer and around the end of the year (Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year's). Why? Cuz I think it's kinda hard to form a bond (cuz you're busy on vacation, shopping, entertaining family/friends) and it gets murky as to whether or not you should be buying gifts and/or parading your new found guy around family. Lol, a radio personality I used to listen to says he'd normally break up with a gf before the the holidays cuz he already knew he didn't want to bring them around his family. So, have you considered and/or actually modified your dating around certain times of the year?
d0nnivain Posted December 6, 2014 Posted December 6, 2014 Everybody has their own "things" & I agree that starting a new relationship around the holidays comes with added pressure but one of the best relationships I ever had started on December 20. We gave each other little $10 trinkets for Christmas & enjoyed NYE together. By Valentine's Day we were solid. You don't have to be official or deeply committed to embrace the spirit of the season: Good Will Toward [People] Your parameters are a bit large for IMHO but you have to be true to yourself.
TigerLilly78 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I kind of see your point OP my aunt whose 70 something just started dating again shes seen this one guy like 2 times and shes invited him to the family xmas gathering I cant be there sadly but that should be interesting she was telling me it felt awkward and she didn't want to be rude and not invite him since he knew about it..
smg15 Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Yes normally the holiday season is hard to date someone. I maybe going on just 1 date before Christmas and after that it won't be until the second weekend in January I don't even try to schedule a date between Christmas and New Years day
2.50 a gallon Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 When I was a young man and just starting out on my own, after a couple of years I noticed this curious phenomenon with my buddies and our girl friends over the holiday season. If we were in a relationship going into the holiday season, it would generally last right up until just after New Years, and then, like clock work we would all be dumped by the time the Super Bowl rolled around. Being young, I never did try to figure it out. And then one year I was once again dating, and once again, when the holidays came around, my buddies and I slipped into our normal bah-humbug mode. But this gal was not to be deterred, she brought over a small tree and some decorations. After decorating the tree, we had a great night of great sex. So much so, a couple of days later, when date night came around again, I had purchased a couple of strings of small lights, window stickers, and the two of us spent the night decorating my huge front window, followed that night with more great sex. Humm, says I, getting into the Christmas spirit is really improving my sex life, so I jumped in with both feet. My buddies were all gave me the heehah. And again by Super Bowl time they had all been dumped. But not me, in fact she came over that day. She spent half the day acting as the hostess, baking a pizza and stuffed mushrooms, bringing us drinks, and the other half snuggled up to me on the couch. Lesson learned, Bah-humbug was out, getting into the Christmas spirit was in. I later figured out, hanging lights in the window, and maybe a couple of strings of lights up the outside steps leading up to my second story apartment, was like a neon sign to women, that said a man who likes and celebrates Christmas lives here. 2
Emilia Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 When I was a young man and just starting out on my own, after a couple of years I noticed this curious phenomenon with my buddies and our girl friends over the holiday season. If we were in a relationship going into the holiday season, it would generally last right up until just after New Years, and then, like clock work we would all be dumped by the time the Super Bowl rolled around. Being young, I never did try to figure it out. And then one year I was once again dating, and once again, when the holidays came around, my buddies and I slipped into our normal bah-humbug mode. But this gal was not to be deterred, she brought over a small tree and some decorations. After decorating the tree, we had a great night of great sex. So much so, a couple of days later, when date night came around again, I had purchased a couple of strings of small lights, window stickers, and the two of us spent the night decorating my huge front window, followed that night with more great sex. Humm, says I, getting into the Christmas spirit is really improving my sex life, so I jumped in with both feet. My buddies were all gave me the heehah. And again by Super Bowl time they had all been dumped. But not me, in fact she came over that day. She spent half the day acting as the hostess, baking a pizza and stuffed mushrooms, bringing us drinks, and the other half snuggled up to me on the couch. Lesson learned, Bah-humbug was out, getting into the Christmas spirit was in. I later figured out, hanging lights in the window, and maybe a couple of strings of lights up the outside steps leading up to my second story apartment, was like a neon sign to women, that said a man who likes and celebrates Christmas lives here. Haha that's hilarious! I've never noticed any differences in dating before or after holidays, I've never realised people were affected by something so small and irrelevant But I like your post 2.50, very funny/ 1
2.50 a gallon Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 (edited) Emilia Thirty plus years ago, I was facing the first holidays after break up with my ExW. In November I had just moved into a new large apartment complex, with a lot of good looking ladies that I longed to meet. Thanksgiving was 4 days away from work where my mind could wonder and obsess over what I was missing. Thanksgiving day was spent alone, cooking the turkey, watching football and decorating the apartment. Lights and clingys in the window, some small lights in the small bush and tree outside my door. While unpacking the Christmas stuff I ran across a baggie of cookie cutters, some of which I had used as a kid, that my mom had given us. So I spent the rest of the holiday baking and decorating cookies to the Nth degree. Almost immediately my new neighbors noticed the decorations, and when I shared my decorated cookies, I was beset with offers of help the next time I baked. Before the holidays were over I bake at least 3 more batches. And each time with a new and sexy helper. And each time they brought along their favorite cutters, sometimes like mine from their childhood. Sometimes they also brought along a bottle of wine. The wine and baking cookies seemed to bring out the little girl in them and they had a great time. And each time they spent the night. And one of them was the hottest gal who lived there who refused to date her neighbors. For the next several years we had several standing dates, baking Christmas cookies. Baking holiday cookies, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas and Valentine, got me laid at least 2 dozen times over the next 14 years. Edited December 7, 2014 by 2.50 a gallon 4
thefooloftheyear Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 There was a guy I knew years ago that would break up with his gf around Thanksgiving and then get back together sometime in January,,,He did it with all his gf's...He said it was so he didnt have to buy them any gifts.... TFY
serial muse Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 Emilia Thirty plus years ago, I was facing the first holidays after break up with my ExW. In November I had just moved into a new large apartment complex, with a lot of good looking ladies that I longed to meet. Thanksgiving was 4 days away from work where my mind could wonder and obsess over what I was missing. Thanksgiving day was spent alone, cooking the turkey, watching football and decorating the apartment. Lights and clingys in the window, some small lights in the small bush and tree outside my door. While unpacking the Christmas stuff I ran across a baggie of cookie cutters, some of which I had used as a kid, that my mom had given us. So I spent the rest of the holiday baking and decorating cookies to the Nth degree. Almost immediately my new neighbors noticed the decorations, and when I shared my decorated cookies, I was beset with offers of help the next time I baked. Before the holidays were over I bake at least 3 more batches. And each time with a new and sexy helper. And each time they brought along their favorite cutters, sometimes like mine from their childhood. Sometimes they also brought along a bottle of wine. The wine and baking cookies seemed to bring out the little girl in them and they had a great time. And each time they spent the night. And one of them was the hottest gal who lived there who refused to date her neighbors. For the next several years we had several standing dates, baking Christmas cookies. Baking holiday cookies, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas and Valentine, got me laid at least 2 dozen times over the next 14 years. These posts are hilarious! Gives a whole new meaning to "baking cookies". But yes - and I would say it's not specifically about celebrating Christmas but just that I think a lot of people find "bah humbug" attitudes unattractive and no fun. What a major bummer that would be. You're right that bringing out the joyful little girl in a woman can be a great way to making more of a connection. 1
Shepp Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I've never really thought about it before... But I LOVEEE Christmas! So if I was seeing a girl and she was all bah humbug then can't lie, I would be thinking "not gonna be able to spend the rest of my life with her"! That said, I'm not a particularly mushy guy but I find this is the time of year when it can really hit home how much the people around you mean to you, so I figure I feel stronger for people round about now as opposed to less strong. .....Nothing bonds you to people like great food, The pogues, and pushing their car out of the snow
Thegreatestthing Posted December 7, 2014 Posted December 7, 2014 I feel much more inclined and much more happy to be in a relationship during the holidays I'm much more into it at that time of the year.
Emilia Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Well I can be a bit bah-humbug about Christmas (surprise surprise ) but it tends to work well with men, they usually laugh when I crack some dark Father Christmas jokes rather than go with the flow. Having said that, I do love getting presents for people they will very much love. Guess that makes up for all the bah-humbug
2.50 a gallon Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 (edited) I am a short skinny guy, and yet have had great success dating some of the hottest ladies. I am sure that part of my success is casting away the bah-humbug attitude, and into a more positive, life is fun let's live it attitude. I took them on quirky dates, such as fishing, kite flying, etc. I see in another thread, what is chemistry and how to get it flowing. It is simple, if you can get her to laugh and have fun, the love chemicals begin to flow. As for bringing out the little girl. In each and every time, while baking cookies, after a glass of wine or two, she would start remembering and talking about how she used to bake cookies, with her mom and siblings. More love chemicals. Usually, by the third or fourth glass, she would begin to slip in a little baby talk, such as how much she liked eating her mom's "Ba-sgetti". In short she was letting me know she trusted me and wanted to get more intimate with me Edited December 8, 2014 by 2.50 a gallon missing word
sillyanswer Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 I normally cut off meeting new people around the height of summer and around the end of the year (Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year's). So, have you considered and/or actually modified your dating around certain times of the year? Around Christmas/New Year, yes, I've sometimes backed off trying to meet new people. For a combination of me being busy with Christmas parties and visiting friends and family and the expectation that my date will be similarly busy and, unless it's already an established relationship, it might not be socially acceptable to take a 'new' date to many of these things. I've found in the past that if there's a long gap between early dates then things seem less likely to work, so if there are obstacles in the way it might be best to wait until the party season is over. So... the first dates I might have this week... will probably be the last ones of the year. They'll either turn into second dates, or I'll take a break from dating for a few weeks.
Frank2thepoint Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 I've never really thought about it before... But I LOVEEE Christmas! So if I was seeing a girl and she was all bah humbug then can't lie, I would be thinking "not gonna be able to spend the rest of my life with her"! Interesting you mention this, because the last woman I went out on a date with was all "bah humbug" about Christmas. I love Christmas, the music, the lights, the whole ambiance of it. She didn't share my view. In retrospect, I'm happy she isn't available for a relationship. I would have been miserable.
salparadise Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Two years ago today a woman that I adored ended our relationship. It was my first real relationship after I my divorce. That was the most miserable Christmas ever. The previous year was the best ever, when we were falling in love. At the time, I thought it was cruel to beak up just before Christmas. Last year, I had been dating someone only a couple of months when the season rolled around. She didn't have family to be with so I invited her to spend Christmas with my daughter and I. That was the last time I saw her. We weren't close enough for it to enrich the occasion, and it sadly detracted from what should've been time devoted to my daughter. I read that just before Christmas is the time of year that more relationships end than any other time. I get it now. It can be complicated if a relationship isn't solid, or at an in-between stage of progression. A brand new casual kind of thing during this time might be nice. I think I'll go shopping for cookie cutters today!
serial muse Posted December 8, 2014 Posted December 8, 2014 Well I can be a bit bah-humbug about Christmas (surprise surprise ) but it tends to work well with men, they usually laugh when I crack some dark Father Christmas jokes rather than go with the flow. Having said that, I do love getting presents for people they will very much love. Guess that makes up for all the bah-humbug People (men and women both) like the idea of a tough exterior and a soft squishy interior. So when you secretly get awesome presents they're thinking you're all gooey on the inside. 1
2.50 a gallon Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 salparadise My experience was totally different. Twenty plus years ago, in my late 40's, I met a long legged gal with a face that I knew I could kiss good morning to for the rest of my life. She was totally out of my league in the looks department and I also knew that some one that good looking was sure to have a BF. She was in her late 30's, and sure enough she was in love with her live in BF of 4 years. He was 2 years younger than her, made decent money, and was a big fellow to my short skinny body, as he was a semi-pro light heavy weight boxer. And just so happened to look like her favorite tuff guy actor Steven Segal. I decided to wait for him to make a mistake. Two years later, that chance came when he retired from the ring, and slipped into drugs. They temporarily broke up while he left the state for 6 months to dry out. She had married young and then hooked up with this guy about a year after her divorce, and was seeing this as her last chance to experience the dating scene. And she had a long line of guys wanting to take her out. The reason she chose me to be the first one, was I was short and skinny and wouldn't crush her if we fooled around. Right from the start she let me know that she was still madly in love with her BF, and thought that she could never love another man as deeply as she loved him and that they would probably reunite when he came back in 6 months. Luckily the first date was just prior to the beginning of the holiday season, Third date she came over to bake Halloween cookies and had a blast, that was followed by Thanksgiving and Christmas cookies. Christmas I did the decorating, putting up lights etc, and then took my extras and decorated her place. She was thrilled, as that was something she had always wanted to do. At Christmas she met my family and I met hers. She spent the night on Christmas eve. I had bought some simple cheap toys and we had a great time being kids again and playing paddle ball and shooting plastic darts at each other. Two month later we baked Valentine cookies, and then on Valentines day, he surprised her by coming home. She went to see him and half and hour later was back at my place, as the had told him it was over. We have now been together for over 19 years, and I am sure a good reason that she fell in love with me was the way I celebrated Christmas It was February when we moved into our house, and one of the first things she said, was come Christmas "I want big lights all around the house" 1
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