Got rejected today in a subtle but distinct manner

[clia]

If a male coworker sent me an email and asked me to text him before [a meeting] and I did not see the message until after the meeting and interacted with him in the interim, I would see no reason to text him. The way you went about this was just really awkward. If you want to go out with her, ask her out and stop messing around. I do think it is a bad idea to date a coworker. You've posted about your lack of a social life. Maybe if you got out more and met more people you would develop crushes on them instead of coworkers. I also would never text "Sup?" to anyone, much less a coworker. That seems like a bizarre text from a 30 year old, but maybe I'm just not hip enough.

[Teknoe]

The email asking for a text was not the best course of action. Mind you, if I had her cell, I never would have sent that email.

 

Regardless, lesson learned. I just got too cute and overthought things. I said I would not overthink it but oops I did it again to quote a certain '90s teen popstar.

 

The 2nd date today went well but I reached the conclusion that I feel absolutely zero attraction toward this girl.

 

So, back to square one.

 

Yeah, I really need to stop falling for coworkers. I think it's long been a fantasy of mine though that my partner would be a teacher too. I just always thought that would be the coolest thing ever.

 

Anyway, point taken, guys. It was an awkward move on my part but I still do not think it was the deciding factor in her not liking me or expressing clear interest. Did it help me? Certainly not, but I doubt she gives me the same lack of response had she saw me as somebody she would be interested in dating.

 

At the end of the day, I learned a good lesson and I "struck out" with someone who 99% didn't see me in that light anyway. So, it's all good. Life goes on.

[endlessabyss]

I also would never text "Sup?" to anyone, much less a coworker. That seems like a bizarre text from a 30 year old, but maybe I'm just not hip enough.

 

 

Sup, baby lol

[Teknoe]

So, things are normal as usual between me and her. She still teases me a bit, and our banter is the exact same as before I gave her my cell and she never texted me.

 

Not sure what to think other than... just enjoy it for what it is. It's always nice to have a work friend that goes beyond formalities.

[spiderowl]

Sorry it didn't work out as planned. As a woman who has received messages saying "text me", can I just say that it is actually annoying and offputting to be ordered to do something by a guy. You might not see it that way, but it can come across that way. I'm sure you intended it as an opening and to be warm and friendly, but think about that. A nice "how are you?" would be much better as it shows interest and care and is not an order.

 

I can't imagine that "Text me" would go down well with a colleague. If you want to take it from colleague to more, then you need an interaction that is fun and friendly and gradually leads to more flirty perhaps (but not remotely crude as some women find that repulsive). It's difficult when you work with someone. This woman does not want a colleague telling her what to do. I think you have some way to go to make up for this approach. It's not a way of building a relationship - it just tells her to do all the work. Who is going to feel flattered by that?

 

And just to add that having read further I see she is a teacher! She should be an intelligent woman then and sending her an order to text you is just not going to go down well. I think you need a more interactive approach which surely you should be good at, being a teacher yourself?

Edited December 14, 2014 by spiderowl