Selfish people?

[Leegh]

Selfishness; can selfish people help being selfish or is it just the way their brains are wired (perhaps a personality disorder also). I've known several very selfish people, (I'm not talking romantically) that are very selfish, and also are very rigid and inflexible, but are unselfish when it comes to themselves. In your opinion, how much of it is their fault, as I know if their brain is literally not functioning well (neurons, etc.), it may not be their fault totally. How much, if any, sympathy should we have for selfish people?

[anika99]

I've had to deal with really self centred and selfish people. One was selfish to the point of just being an out and out user

 

 

I don't know if I have any sympathy for them but I do agree that for some they seem to really have no idea that they are being overly selfish. They don't see themselves the same way everyone else does and I suppose I have had the occasional feeling of pity for someone who was truly bewildered as to why people didn't like him.

[Ronni_W]

In the "mind over matter" model, then selfishness can result in a changes in the physical 'wiring and working' of the brain.

 

But I think most selfishness and narcissistic tendencies stem from our own unexamined psychology -- our (distorted) beliefs, perceptions, understandings of our self, others and life in general. We think-believe we are entitled to this, or deserve that, and that our needs, comfort, wants, desires are more important than the next person's.

 

For me, if we won't just walk away from such relationships, then holding people accountable for their own words, actions, impact on others is a better route than just making excuses for them or feeling pity/sympathy for them. (Because if they never face the consequences of their own screwed-up views of themselves and others, then they have little if any chance of even recognizing their flaws and the mistakes of their superior-entitled mindset.)