Author Illusion24 Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 how is that fair, to keep someone chained to me when they could find someone who might cherish them and make them feel wonderful, if the best they can expect from me is me struggling to understand what's wrong with ME?!? It hurts but it's the truth...He needs to find someone who will cherish him now for who he is...It would be horrible to find out that someone else has his love but I can't be selfish if I don't let him grow up, have his experiences and also give me time to see what it is I want out of life...Though I don't think he realizes what's in for him but if we're met to be we'll be together some how some way:( :( :( Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn You have changed, you have grown up but what wrong did the other one did to get the hurt and pain.What I wish to say is that when you are so unsure about yourself then don't enter into relationship.Figure out what you want, who you are , who can give you all that you wish and when you got it then be with him.No one has right in this world to use others as guinea pig. THen you will be single for the rest of your life because no one ever stops changing and growing (I hope)...the whole point is growing and changing together. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter THen you will be single for the rest of your life because no one ever stops changing and growing (I hope)...the whole point is growing and changing together. I know I won't be single cause I know that there is no perfect world where I get all that I want, all that I wish and the perfect person that I have in mind. There are trade-offs to be done and I will do it but not that I will keep on using and throwing. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 when you are so unsure about yourself then don't enter into relationship There are things that come up in the middle of relationships that you have no control over. No one in life is 100% sure of themselves! Figure out what you want, who you are , who can give you all that you wish and when you got it then be with him.No one has right in this world to use others as guinea pig. How are you supposed to know what you want unless you date and compare. Their will be hearts broken but I mean thats life. Its not like you do it on purpose. Listen NSN...like I have posted plenty a times here on LS. People come in and out of your life for a reason. Some stay some leave but they all have a purpose. Those that come and leave served their purpose and we might know what that purpose is right away or it can be years later when we wake up one day and understand what exactly happened there and why that person was put into our life. Maybe this guy was put in your life for a reason, the purpose has been served, you got what you needed from him and you just don't even know it yet? Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 NSN, I am not asking you not to do what you are going to do? You have figured it out so do it. I feel I am the only one who holds these kind of views so I am a misfit in this world. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 GREENHORN you are not a misfit, you just view things differently and thats fine. everyone has diff points of views. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by EC GREENHORN you are not a misfit, you just view things differently and thats fine. everyone has diff points of views. Thanks EC. I think it is better to judge very well before entering into relationship but this might not be practical. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn You have changed, you have grown up but what wrong did the other one did to get the hurt and pain.What I wish to say is that when you are so unsure about yourself then don't enter into relationship.Figure out what you want, who you are , who can give you all that you wish and when you got it then be with him.No one has right in this world to use others as guinea pig. Most people enter into a relationship with the hopes that it lasts. Most people want the next relationship to be the last relationship. Most people want to find the person they'll spend their life with and be constantly happy. No one wants to continuously search for someone to be with. If you don't take a chance you may never know you've found the right one. I'm unsure how you expect people to know how they will be in a few years or how they will change. We can't possibly know what life will put in our path and we can't possibly know who we will be in the future. We are not born adults and we are not born perfect. We grow on a regular basis, every day, and to ask someone to not enjoy life, to not share their life with someone else simply because they may change and need to follow a separate path is unrealistic. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Ok, if this happens then don't you think that you would want to be with a new person every 3 years or may be before that.Is this situation desirable for both ? Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Thanks EC. I think it is better to judge very well before entering into relationship but this might not be practical. Yeah Greenhorn...but sometimes you can judge all you want with your MIND but in the end you sometimes end up just closing your eyes and following your HEART and then all bets are off. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn Ok, if this happens then don't you think that you would want to be with a new person every 3 years or may be before that.Is this situation desirable for both ? What's with the three years? Why would someone want to be with a new person every three years? I'm not sure it's a desirable situation for anyone. It's just the reality of relationships and most people go in with the understanding that they're taking a chance. Some relationships are meant to last a very short time, some last years and some last a lifetime. If you don't take a chance, then you'll never know if you've found that relationship that lasts a lifetime. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 Certain people that come into your life teach you things about yourself that you never knew...My bf has taught me to trust people again, he taught me how to feel sexy again when I thought I was an ugly duckling...I can't express to you guys how much my bf has changed my life and ME...But now, things are different, I found the courage I was looking for and I've never really had time to myself.. Before my bf I was in a 2 year relationship and I almost got married!!! THANK GOD I DIDN'T...I would have never met my bf now...but it seems my life and my feelings are changing and I don't think he should sit for the ride...All he's going to do is get hurt...If I lose him it's a chance I have to take and I've excepted that but I refuse to put my feelings aside AGAIN...I did that for to long and it's part of the reason it's taking me so long to find out what I'm meant to do in my life and why?? Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky What's with the three years? Why would someone want to be with a new person every three years? Three years I said cause you all said that we keep on growing and changing.So I thought that in 3 years we all would grow up and change so much to have someone else . Might be I am exception but I would have happily lived my whole life with the first person whom I loved. I am 27 and till now I have loved only one person so does this mean that I didn't grow up or I didn't get someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 Might be I am exception but I would have happily lived my whole life with the first person whom I loved You don't know what you're missing out on...From every relationship that I"ve been in I"ve learned something new about life and myself...with every person that I "love" it's a different kind of love...I love my bf in a different way than I loved my ex...Love is different and it comes and goes...Right now I just want to concentrate on loving me than I could love someone else without having doubts....its been 3 years since I've been alone ...I think it's time for a litte RR for me don't ya think.. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn Might be I am exception but I would have happily lived my whole life with the first person whom I loved. Your idealistic vision is beautiful, Greenhorn, but let's be honest - you would not have lived happily with your first love. If you set up unrealistic expectations of life then life will always let you down. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 If you set up unrealistic expectations of life then life will always let you down. Ditto! it took me a while but I have finally learned this. Link to post Share on other sites
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