Do you ever feel that you're just not good at anything?

[disneyfan90]

I started taking dance lessons at the age of 8, and I started out okay but as I progressed and things got harder, I became worse and worse. My teacher was often so frustrated with me because while everyone else learned everything fairly easily, I never did. I was literally always the worst dancer in the class. I've taken lessons for 10 years of my life (I guess I stuck with it because I enjoyed it to some extent), but I'm still not that good of a dancer. I take forever when it comes to learning new steps. Some of my friends who've spent only a year in dance classes are way, way better than me--competing on dance teams and other stuff. I could never do that because I didn't have the talent.

 

I recently started taking tennis lessons. I had my first lesson like a month ago, and have been to maybe 4 classes. My instructor says I'm doing very well for a total beginner, but honestly I know he's just saying it to encourage me. He's that type of a guy--very patient and supportive. But I know I'm horrible, because there are 3 other people in my class who started around the same time I did and they're already playing like pros! They've moved on to playing tennis games and stuff, while my instructor still has to work on the basics with me. It's so embarrassing. He says he admires my enthusiasm however, and so that's why he's willing to work with me. I just don't know why I'm not as good as everyone else.

 

The one thing I enjoy more than anything in the world is fiction writing, and even that I'm not good that. There are some people who read my work and every single one of them said that while my stories are okay, they are nothing great, and I could use a lot of practice. But I've been writing for years now--it just seems like no matter how much I practice, I'll never be good enough. I also really enjoy running but I only do this for myself because I know I'm too slow to be on a team.

 

I've tried a few other things too like swimming, singing, drawing...I was terrible at all of those things. Much worse than everybody else who was doing the same thing. Some people have natural intelligence--I don't even have that. I take forever to understand the simplest of concepts, and I really do mean forever.

 

I don't understand, because my brother is a natural artist, and has been since he was two. His room is filled with trophies from winning art competitions. My mom and her sister are both singers--singing always came so easily to them. My cousin's room is covered in trophies as well--she's a dancer and actor and those came so easily to her. Another one of my cousins is an absolutely brilliant student, studying at a great university and doing great things.

 

I've always believed that everybody has at least one thing that they're naturally good at, but now I'm starting to doubt it. Is it really possible to just be terrible at everything you do?

[anika99]

I started taking dance lessons at the age of 8, and I started out okay but as I progressed and things got harder, I became worse and worse. My teacher was often so frustrated with me because while everyone else learned everything fairly easily, I never did. I was literally always the worst dancer in the class. I've taken lessons for 10 years of my life (I guess I stuck with it because I enjoyed it to some extent), but I'm still not that good of a dancer. I take forever when it comes to learning new steps. Some of my friends who've spent only a year in dance classes are way, way better than me--competing on dance teams and other stuff. I could never do that because I didn't have the talent.

 

I recently started taking tennis lessons. I had my first lesson like a month ago, and have been to maybe 4 classes. My instructor says I'm doing very well for a total beginner, but honestly I know he's just saying it to encourage me. He's that type of a guy--very patient and supportive. But I know I'm horrible, because there are 3 other people in my class who started around the same time I did and they're already playing like pros! They've moved on to playing tennis games and stuff, while my instructor still has to work on the basics with me. It's so embarrassing. He says he admires my enthusiasm however, and so that's why he's willing to work with me. I just don't know why I'm not as good as everyone else.

 

The one thing I enjoy more than anything in the world is fiction writing, and even that I'm not good that. There are some people who read my work and every single one of them said that while my stories are okay, they are nothing great, and I could use a lot of practice. But I've been writing for years now--it just seems like no matter how much I practice, I'll never be good enough. I also really enjoy running but I only do this for myself because I know I'm too slow to be on a team.

 

I've tried a few other things too like swimming, singing, drawing...I was terrible at all of those things. Much worse than everybody else who was doing the same thing. Some people have natural intelligence--I don't even have that. I take forever to understand the simplest of concepts, and I really do mean forever.

 

I don't understand, because my brother is a natural artist, and has been since he was two. His room is filled with trophies from winning art competitions. My mom and her sister are both singers--singing always came so easily to them. My cousin's room is covered in trophies as well--she's a dancer and actor and those came so easily to her. Another one of my cousins is an absolutely brilliant student, studying at a great university and doing great things.

 

I've always believed that everybody has at least one thing that they're naturally good at, but now I'm starting to doubt it. Is it really possible to just be terrible at everything you do?

 

I have felt much as you do. I'm not sure that I have any sort of "natural" talent at anything. I can become quite adept in certain things but it never comes naturally to me. Always lots of practice and hard work involved. I figure in the big picture of life it doesn't really matter though. Sure people might be impressed by talented people but we don't make new friends or fall in love with someone based on their talents.

 

 

If you enjoy dancing and playing tennis and writing stories then keep doing all of those things just because you enjoy it. Take all the joy that life has to offer and don't let anyone take the fun out of anything for you. Keep trying new things too. Maybe learn to play an instrument, try your hand at cooking or sewing or decorating. You may still stumble across something that really works with your natural abilities and if not then just keep having fun trying.

[StalwartMind]

I just want to echo what anika99 said and really do believe it. I come from the other side of table so to speak. Ever since my childhood I was pretty good at everything I did and wanted to do, the things that interested me. I was captain of my football/soccer team, won plenty of competitions, and I did the same for other sports like table tennis, floorball. Later on it was other things and I do typically fare quite well in whatever I enjoy.

 

Now in no way is this a stealth brag, to be honest i could care less if others envied me or wanted to be just as good, I've seen and felt the negative side of others when it comes to envy, but likewise have I also seen people help themselves away from such negative thoughts.

 

The only thing that matters in life is that you do something that you enjoy. This goes with everything not just hobbies but work, relationship etc. Stop comparing yourself to others as there will always be someone whom is better and worse than you. The only improvement you should ever think of, is your own. I've always been extremely understanding and helpful of others, especially those whom did not have the same skills as myself. Don't think ill of your tennis trainer even if he shows you great patience and you still just are on basics.

 

I'm sure a lot of people will not be able to recognize this, but losing and being bad at something can be fun. It's all a matter of perspective. Whenever I struggle with something, I don't give up, I use it as my motivation to get better, but if I have no sincere interest in the given subject, then I really wouldn't care much either to improve.

 

I think it's healthy to learn self awareness and understand your own limits, we all have very different skill sets, some based on random genetics. I would encourage you as much as anyone else to accept yourself as you are, but never let that hold you back from wanting to get better at anything.

 

I love learning and becoming better at everything I'm greatly passionate about and so should you. It doesn't matter if you have one thing or a hundred. I would not think more or less of you, no matter the skill set you possess of anything. I'd always commend you for just relaxing and doing whatever you enjoy.

 

On a silly note, I'm sure you know more disney characters than me

[sadsoymilk]

Your determination to continue to do things you enjoy whether you are good at them or not is indeed a kind of talent! I know many, many people who get frustrated so easily when they can't get things exactly right - especially when they see others doing better. Being an artist, I see it almost every day, actually. It is a rare and amazing quality - be proud of it, and keep doing things that make you happy, regardless of your skill level!

[mario_C]

Dance lessons sucked like that. I dropped out because they stop teaching you unless you want to be state swing dance champion or international salsa black belt or whatever, and I really don't want that. Uh, maybe I just want to not have two left feet on a date?

Psychologist David Burns once said, "Dare to be mediocre." He said it to encourage us who are not good at something we wish we were better at to keep trying. A pat saying, in my opinion, but a) I'm not an overpaid psychologist and b) it can be comforting to know that you can always keep trying, or just do something because it's fun and you don't have pressure to be the champ.

If you want to do something for a career, it's a different story.

[apedrerov]

I have to agree with the advice given in this post.

 

I guess this has to do in some way with the amount of information we get all the time about talented people. I'm ****ing tired of hearing about them. I couldn't care less if people can play 18 instruments, and three of them with their feet at the age of 8.

[todreaminblue]

have you ever done pottery?

 

you look at an unformed piece of clay...and its just a lump of brown stuff.......doesnt mean it cant be beautiful........or have purpose to its design......the design is personal interpretation of beauty and that beauty is unformed....everyone on earth has a talent a design a purpose.......the beauty lies herein......untapped forming of creativity of a design a talent our maker put in us.....

 

 

writers......they can put together streams of words that flow down the page...whether those words are good....forms from the heart......so to me....your design your talents your purpose grow from the heart.....whether you put it into clay or words on a page.....is something beautiful to discover......failures are beautiful they are part of the design....the sadness the unfinished potential...whatever your talent is ....the forming of that talent can be as beautiful as the talent itself...the failures along the way part of a beautiful discovery......some people wait a lifetime to discover a true grown heart talent.......doesnt make that talent less beautiful.....i believe people around us are sent to help discover talent in you....if you are open to it........deb

Edited December 16, 2014 by todreaminblue

[Danda]

I believe it's true, yes, that everyone is pretty awesome at something, but that thing at which they are awesome won't necessarily be a creative or competitive activity like sports or painting. That's way too narrow a spectrum to be assessing yourself overall with.

 

For one, dance/tennis/swimming and so on are all physical things that involve coordination and agility and so on. Then painting/music/whatever tends to be stuff for really creative, right-brain dominant people.

 

So while you might list a bunch of different stuff you've tried out, you're really only covering two things overall: athletic performance and art.

 

If the world was full of nothing but athletes and artists we'd be screwed.

[todreaminblue]

I believe it's true, yes, that everyone is pretty awesome at something, but that thing at which they are awesome won't necessarily be a creative or competitive activity like sports or painting. That's way too narrow a spectrum to be assessing yourself overall with.

 

For one, dance/tennis/swimming and so on are all physical things that involve coordination and agility and so on. Then painting/music/whatever tends to be stuff for really creative, right-brain dominant people.

 

So while you might list a bunch of different stuff you've tried out, you're really only covering two things overall: athletic performance and art.

 

If the world was full of nothing but athletes and artists we'd be screwed.

 

do you see the talent in serving others? the check out chic.....the guy at the service station....the nurse with blisters on her feet..the firefighter who risks his life...the police officer who runs in to the unknown.....the farmer with callouses on their hands.the old lady who does her shopping with a walker for extra feet to help her stand up.......you are right.....the spectrum is broad......deb

[carhill]

Do you ever feel that you're just not good at anything?

 

Pretty much any time I do something I've never done before in a less than perfect fashion. Keeps the humble button pushed in. In my line of work, and life, that's often. It's part of what makes life interesting. I credit my parents for that, shoving stuff at me as a kid and having high expectations for success. 'The only failure is in not trying' was the buzz-phrase of the day.

 

I had to laugh when I sold my chemistry set at the estate sale for my mother, along with the rest of my childhood stuff I didn't want. Some buyer took a look and commented 'do you know how dangerous that is?'. I said, 'sure, since I was about seven years old' and laughed, having been brewing concoctions and blowing things up ever since then.

 

IMO, even though I've been told I'm wrong, I think everyone has potential for success, even if it isn't exactly how modern-day society defines it. For my parents, it would have been my name on a building or bridge somewhere. For me, it's simply exploring life and the world and enjoying dabbling in a lot of things and having fun and making a few bucks along with way and meeting interesting people. Different strokes for different folks.

 

You'll find your way. Some of us get the memo early; for others it comes later. Enjoy the ride in the meantime.

[dichotomy]

I started taking dance lessons at the age of 8, and I started out okay but as I progressed and things got harder, I became worse and worse. My teacher was often so frustrated with me because while everyone else learned everything fairly easily, I never did. I was literally always the worst dancer in the class. I've taken lessons for 10 years of my life (I guess I stuck with it because I enjoyed it to some extent), but I'm still not that good of a dancer.

 

 

10 years? You know what your great at? Not quitting and doing what YOU like to do - even when others give you grief or lack of encouragement. Not many people have grit. You do.