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his friend/family and frequency of date


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I have been dating this man 10 months. I am 39 and he is 50.

 

so....my concerns are 1) he hasn't introduced me to his friends and family yet. should I really worry about it?

 

I feel he is extreme cautious to introduce his girl to his circle. he told me he was dumped just after introduced her to his friends and he said it was huge mistake. so I am ok to wait until he feels 100% secure with me, trust me i won't leave him (yes, I love him so much!!) . but my friend told me it's a big reg flag, she keep saying I should ask him to introduce me to his friends and family now. holiday is coming and i know he visits his parents who live a bit away from town. should I ask him to take me with him? (otherwise I won't able to see him on holidays)

 

2) we sees each other once a week and usually it's on weekday, seldom see each other on weekend. I want to see him more!

 

I go to yoga and the studio is a block away his place so I see him after class which is middle of weekday. he told me date once a week is enough for him, so he usually doesn't take extra his time on weekend. occasionally he wants to see me on weekend night but not many. he suggests other day include weekend if we cannot see after class but it seldom happened. If cannot see him more than once a week, I want to communicate with him more but we text once or twice between our date, and we are not phone people.

I don't think he sees someone else but he is very rigid and set in a routine in his life. he told me he needs to learn how to compromise himself to others because he's been himself all the time. sometimes I feel himself is his priority, not his girl. according to my friend he is "selfish" and "he doesn't treat you as a important person at all" (basically she disagrees me and him together from the beginning because of our age gap). I talked him my need, I want to see him more and communicates more and he told me he'd try.....some week i can see his effort and some week cannot...

 

first time I started to date him, I though he has commitment issue. he's been single all his life, never married & no child, multiple past relationships lasted less than a year and it's because his job (or/and there were other problems too I believe). almost every month, usually 10 days to 2 weeks he is away, and he had bad "love" experience before etc.

 

he agreed being exclusively from the beginning and I want to long term relationship which leads something serious in the future and he agreed with it too but he told me he wants to take it slow and I agreed with it. I've been single more than 10 years so I understood his feeling.

 

it took 8 months to hear "love" from him. it took 9 1/2 months him to stay overnight at my place -he never stayed night at my place until 2 weeks ago. I usually visit his place and stayed night at his place but finally he slept on my bed all night and he told me he relaxed a lot next morning. finally, yes!!

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Does he take you out and spend money taking you on dates?

 

Why doesn't he make effort to pick you up for each date?

 

Why no weekend dates, that's odd.

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This guy doesn't sound like he is very fulfilling to you at all.

 

 

He is who he is. I don't see him changing much. He is a loner. This is a very "strong" characteristics with not a whole lot of flexibility.

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