Author SycamoreCircle Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Not sure what you need clarification on ? I understood you to say in your main post that cheaters will suspect others will cheat on them.... No so with my wife, she had complete faith in me. She knows cheating and cheaters and womanizers very well....and knew she had found a good man. But later - after learning of her pre and post me cheating and lies... and dealing our marriage and intimacy problems... the battle has worn be down. I am no longer affair proof - more affair resistant - or perhaps (sigh) even affair susceptible. I need clarification on some very ruinous grammar. Geez. I still don't understand what you're saying. "...after learning of her pre and post me cheating and lies...and dealing our marriage...worn be down..." Huh? You're affair proof, resistant, susceptible? Huh? I throw my hands up. Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Cheating is so very common,that I don't know people keep propping up this notion of fidelity. Few are faithful and those that are simply saintly,unselfish human beings who do not give in all directions,who arrest themselves etc etc,people cheat in other ways like spending all their time with others,or staying at the office till god knows when,playing video games all night,subsuming themselves in their careers it's an extra martial partner of a different kind. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Maybe this will come off as an obvious realization to most people, but I'll claim it anyway. I was thinking that cheaters can never experience the same deep level of love for another person, the same purity of intention and vulnerability as non-cheaters because they know very intimately deception, distrust and manipulation. They are destined to suspect in other people the very thing they perpetrate. Of course, in more extreme cases they project that on the person they're betraying. But in the future, there must be a tarnish to all of their relationships. That is what they forfeit when they wrong someone. Very true, which is why I always find it worrying when a guy I'm just getting to know quizzes me about if I've ever cheated, etc. Either he's been cheated on and doesn't want it to happen again or he's an inveterate cheater and conscious of that trait in himself and projects it onto others. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 (edited) I need clarification ..... I still don't understand what you're saying. She was a cheater with MM, but she never had to suspect or worry about me doing the same. Now she could have a reason. I was simply disputing your point about cheaters suspecting others would perpetrate the same. Perhaps this is why she worked so hard to lie to me, so she would not have to worry about me. Edited December 9, 2014 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Oh dear!!!! We will burn in hell eternally!! Actually I didn't lie but my ex mm did, but honestly! I think to stop everyone hurting, as stupid as that is. It's evil because you hurt someone else for no reason just because you selfishly want someone else's cock inside you. I find it so disgusting personally that someone can do such a thing. I really hope you learned from your cheating ways since if you didn't you'll never have a healthy relationship with anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Cheating is so very common,that I don't know people keep propping up this notion of fidelity. Few are faithful and those that are simply saintly,unselfish human beings who do not give in all directions,who arrest themselves etc etc,people cheat in other ways like spending all their time with others,or staying at the office till god knows when,playing video games all night,subsuming themselves in their careers it's an extra martial partner of a different kind. Um, I saint I'm not, but neither am I a cheater. I am honest. Lots of people are honest. If they feel like they want to be with someone who isn't their spouse, they know they have others options they can exercise besides cheating, so that's what they do. If they don't feel like they can be faithful to one perosn, they don't get married. I'm not alone in this, and I'm sick of people trying to convince the rest of us that since they are dishonest, the rest of us should be too. Why should those who are honest and live their lives with integrety be made to feel abnormal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I'm not alone in this, and I'm sick of people trying to convince the rest of us that since they are dishonest, the rest of us should be too. Why should those who are honest and live their lives with integrety be made to feel abnormal. Or worse, like doormats who've had it coming... Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I'm not alone in this, and I'm sick of people trying to convince the rest of us that since they are dishonest, the rest of us should be too. Why should those who are honest and live their lives with integrety be made to feel abnormal. This is what happens when we trade the absolutes of morality and right and wrong for the "me first" feel good anything goes hedonistic thinking of today. Yeah, what a GREAT thing this "revolution" was.....not 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Not sure what you need clarification on ? I understood you to say in your main post that cheaters will suspect others will cheat on them.... No so with my wife, she had complete faith in me. She knows cheating and cheaters and womanizers very well....and knew she had found a good man. But later - after learning of her pre and post me cheating and lies... and dealing our marriage and intimacy problems... the battle has worn be down. I am no longer affair proof - more affair resistant - or perhaps (sigh) even affair susceptible. I'm very sorry you feel like this. I just wonder why some people cannot be honest and if they are going to cheat, leave the relationship and do so. Or at least ask their partner for an open marriage? *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
LifesontheUp Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 This is what happens when we trade the absolutes of morality and right and wrong for the "me first" feel good anything goes hedonistic thinking of today. Yeah, what a GREAT thing this "revolution" was.....not Yes, that "me me me" society is what we have. I'll have some of that and damn the consequenes Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 This is what happens when we trade the absolutes of morality and right and wrong for the "me first" feel good anything goes hedonistic thinking of today. Yeah, what a GREAT thing this "revolution" was.....not Infidelity from both sexes is not new - if anything, advances in technology and better understanding of human behaviour have helped us (well, some of us) be more aware of it. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Infidelity from both sexes is not new - if anything, advances in technology and better understanding of human behaviour have helped us (well, some of us) be more aware of it. It isn't new. But it used to be something of which the cheater was ashamed. Now it seems like a cheater feels like they "deserve" what they want and to heck with everyone else. And yes, when we as a society start saying, "Oh well, we don't want to be unloving....so x, y, and z aren't wrong after all. Let's all sing "All You Need Is Love", then it is going to affect our view of morality. We march in the streets lauding what is wrong now - why are we surprised cheaters are less ashamed of their wrongs? I'm quite honestly sad about the world we are leaving our children and grandchildren. Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 There are lots of things that are "not new", but that doesn;t make them acceptable behaviors, nor negate the pain they cause. FUnny, if it was a person wo was bereft of morality and only put themsleves first ( me, me, ME) then one would say that they were, at best, a narcisist and at worst, a sociopath. When society heads in that direction, it's "progessive". Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 (edited) There are lots of things that are "not new", but that doesn;t make them acceptable behaviors, nor negate the pain they cause. FUnny, if it was a person wo was bereft of morality and only put themsleves first ( me, me, ME) then one would say that they were, at best, a narcisist and at worst, a sociopath. When society heads in that direction, it's "progessive". You're preaching to the choir here I have been on the receiving end of such perverted behaviour and I'm still very much reeling from this - I am hurt beyond words and don't empathose or condon or understand any of it. All I'm saying is that he may very well have continued his behaviour if it wasn't for modern technology, which got him found out too easily. People seem more clued up- which absolutely doesn't mean they are more accepting of it - on the contrary, in fact. I don't think anyone felt shame 'in the old days' - at least not the men, who were pretty much free to behave whichever way they wanted with no repercussions whatsoever. At least now people are afforded the luxury of walking away from the relationship with their heads held high. Edited December 9, 2014 by littleblackheart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Actually you are very ignorant. I loved him with all my heart and I believe he will love me forever. I can live without sex but not love . How could you love him with all your heart but cheat on him? That's exactly how a cheater thinks. I'm not ignorant, you're just making no sense. If you loved him so much why did you cheat? Link to post Share on other sites
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