David82 Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 Hello everyone, I have found many threads about the separation issues and want to tell you something about myself, May be someone out there can help me to take myself out from the miserable condition. I didn't have so much experience with the women and their nature, But now I am learning that. Me and my wife we have an age difference of 15 years. We met in the beginning of January 2013, every thing was really nice in the beginning and we had great passion for each other in every way. I was working on the weekends and my wife didn't wanted me to work and from there our problems started. she was angry and upset when i was coming back home from work. I did quit that work in few months but we started to have argues. Then one of my wife's ex threat her and he was arrested at the airport for carrying fake documents and it was my wife who reported her. We had to leave that town and moved to another place far away from the main city where I was working. This city was far from the main city where i was working so It was taking me long time to go and to come back from work. My wife started to complain about that too that I disappear from the house for many hours. This thing continued until April this year. I started to loose interested in her and things were getting cold between us, while she was demanding the same love as it was in the beginning. I understand that and couldn't do anything on time and so. In the month of May I just checked her phone and found the texts between my wife and her ex who threatened her. "something like they have made a big mistake to separate from each other, this and that" I was really surprised and asked my wife and she told me that she is just keeping an eye on her ex so she knows where he is. After that I noticed that my wife started argues with me all the times, we started to get colder towards each other. My wife's mother advised us to separate from each other for a while and see how things go between us. I forgot to mention one thing that my wife's mother also have a great influence on my wife, she follows as her mother tells her. In the month of June 2014 I moved to one of my friend in the city where I am working and I was going back home to my wife 2-3 times in a week and from june till August this continued and in the middle of August my wife told me to move back to our house and I was more focused in the work that time and i told her to give me 2 weeks so I could find another work. then i will move and she was crying and asking me to come back and she told me that she will never ask me to leaver the house again but I didn't because my wife wanted 2 cars in the house one for me and one for her and I was planning to buy her another car and I did that for her. In the beginning of September when i was about to move in to my wife I felt she has changed alot and she was so cold to me. and in the second week of September 2014 she threw all my stuff outside the house and told me to come and pick it up. The rented apartment where we were living was on my name and my wife did that to me and I was so surprised and shocked what was going on. On 20th September when I went back to my wife I saw my wife's ex in our house and my wife didn't opened the door for me. That was a big shock. Anyhow I managed to enter in the house and my wife called the police and they helped me to stay in the house and my wife left the house with her ex. The week after that she filed the divorced and tried take the orders from the court to strict me from contacting her, but the court has rejected that and has given a decision that we can contact eachother like a normal couple to fix our problems, After that my wife was sneaking in the house sometimes when I was at work and she sold some of the stuff I bought for us. when I asked her she said she needs money that's why she is doing that. I even offered her if she needs anything she can ask me but she still sold the Tv. My wife moved to her mother's place with that guy and when I asked her what that guy is doing with her she told me that he is just there to help her. My wife is not accepting any way if she has anything with this guy , he is just a friend and he has no where to go and he is just helping???? It is a big lie from my wife I know that. But why she had to throw me out like this from her life? I offered my wife to come back to our home in the month of October 2014. and I offered her that I will do every thing right between us. I asked her to take back the divorce and she seemed agree only on the condition that i will put the rented apartment on her name and I did that just to take her back in my life. but she didn't made her promise and she didn't took the divorce back and now she has the apartment:(. I was so much hurt and frustrated after that. she changed her number I have been visiting her and begging her on my knees to give me just one chance to fix everything. that seems too late now. last time when we met i found her so cold hearted and she asked me if I can buy her a new phone and help her with some money and I did that. Now, I feel hurt and dumbed. I did mistakes during our relationship. I should not have left her alone like that. I should have been more calm and easy with her. We had so much love and passion between us and we should have keep it. Last time when I asked my wife what she can do for me and she simply said nothing. I still have love for her in my heart and I blame myself for what happened between us. Link to post Share on other sites
GirlStillStrong Posted December 7, 2014 Share Posted December 7, 2014 (edited) David82, You need to stop blaming yourself because if this story is true, it is not your fault. This person you are married to is crazy and I mean that literally. She is insane and is using you for money. She is playing a game with your life because she can. In this game, she acts like a spoiled child and blames you for the problems in the marriage and you take the blame and feel guilty which causes you to chase her around and give her everything she wants. She only cares about herself; not you and not the marriage. You may want to do some reading about psychopaths and/or sociopaths. Stay away from her. Edited December 7, 2014 by GirlStillStrong 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author David82 Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Thank you for your reply-girlstillstrong. I really appreciate. I was really in love with her and i still feel that and i married her and put so much trust and feelings in it. She wanted her ex again and that hurt me more that's why i have been unable to forget about her. All the good times and that passion its hard to forget. Whenever i contact her she tries to hurt me more and she says that she is so much hurt too. My wife she had some problems with her health. She gets medical aid from the govenment. she has some problem with joints in her arms and legs and she cannot work. I know at the end she will sit by herself and will cry, because her ex did dumped her once in the past and he will do that again someday. I have been trying to tell my wife to open her eyes and fee the facs but she is so much into this guy right now. I am not cotacting my wife anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I offered her that I will do every thing right between us. I asked her to take back the divorce and she seemed agree only on the condition that i will put the rented apartment on her name and I did that just to take her back in my life. but she didn't made her promise and she didn't took the divorce back and now she has the apartment:(. I was so much hurt and frustrated after that. she changed her number I have been visiting her and begging her on my knees to give me just one chance to fix everything. that seems too late now. last time when we met i found her so cold hearted and she asked me if I can buy her a new phone and help her with some money and I did that. Sorry to be blunt but you seem intent on proving that old saying that "love makes fools of us all". By providing an apartment (in her name ) and a phone, you just giving her a means and location to entertain other men. She is bad news, let her go... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Sorry to be blunt but you seem intent on proving that old saying that "love makes fools of us all". By providing an apartment (in her name ) and a phone, you just giving her a means and location to entertain other men. She is bad news, let her go... Mr. Lucky or entertain it each to his own if your happy to do that life can be gone in a second aM Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Just let her go. You are 15 years younger than her and she isn't going to change. You have time to find a younger woman and make a new life with someone who isn't so selfish. I wish you the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author David82 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Thank you all for your posts, i want to mention one thing here. I was livinig in another city which is like 100 kms away from our house. I was working there and staying with one of my friend. My wife was agreed anout that. In the begining of september my wife was begging me to come back home, she had fever and i was so much busy in work and other things that i asked her to give me some more time. That was the time when i should be beside her and show her my care but we had argues between us and that made me to stay away from her for a while. I didn't went back during those days when she wanted me to take care of her. She contacted her ex and he was there and everything changed after that between me and my wife , she has become so selfish and angry about me. She has filed the divorced. I loved her from the first day but i got so busy in my things that i started to ignore her. Now she has gone away, she is behaving selfish. Now i have realised my mistakes but seems too late. I know we have the age difference but my feelings are so strong that i dont think about that. As lo g as i can get her back with me. She is behaving so selfish right now and she just want to use me, i know that but still I tried my best to stop thinking about her but i couldnt. I have tried to meet other women but i dont feel the connection, physical or mental. I feel like i am just stuck with my wife, even i try i cannot get myself out . Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 I know. It is very hard to get over a love relationship and even more so when you were married. It really does take time to get over someone it doesn't happen overnight. You were away from her because you had to work. I'm sorry that she had fever but who was going to work and pay the bills if you had returned home? It is more important to have a roof over your heads and bills paid. How long was her fever that her ex had to come over to take care of her? Doesn't she have female friends or relatives that could help? I think she only called her ex to take care of her to get revenge on you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 My wife was agreed anout that. In the begining of september my wife was begging me to come back home, she had fever and i was so much busy in work and other things that i asked her to give me some more time. That was the time when i should be beside her and show her my care but we had argues between us and that made me to stay away from her for a while. I didn't went back during those days when she wanted me to take care of her. She contacted her ex and he was there and everything changed after that between me and my wife , she has become so selfish and angry about me. While that might be a reason to be angry with you, it's not a reason to cheat on you... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author David82 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 (edited) @ Mr. Lucky, I think the same. The question is how I can fix the things with her? she has gone so far at this stage and now her ex is with her. On asking my wife about this guy she is always telling me that this guy is here just to help her and he has no place to go??? but to help her with what? This drives me angry frustrated and even these days when we talk we start to argue and my wife clearly lies to me about this guy . I have even asked her very nicely if she is doing all this just because of this guy tell me straight and I will never bother her but she refuses this all the times. I try not to argue with her but something always happens and we argue and she hangs up. I don't know how I can make her anger disappeared? she has changed her number and she calls me from a hidden number all the times, so I cannot call her back and when ever she calls me on the phone she is always angry and complaining which makes me feel really bad but whenever I go and meet her, she behaves little normal and we even hug and kiss each other sometimes. On the other hand after the separation she was telling me that we may get back together again, which was making me feeling better. The last time when we met it was 12 days ago and my wife told me that we are done. We cannot be get back together because we have argued all the times and I was not there when ever she needed me. She has asked me to take all my stuff from the storage which I left there. Things between me and my wife are so complicated at this stage. I have tried to contact her mother but she don't wants to talk to me and her father says that it's better for me to find someone else. Christmas is coming soon and I really wanted us to be together on this occasion, I have begged her and cried enough already in front of her. Nothing seems working at this stage and I have decided to go for "No contact period" may be 3-4 weeks I am not recieving her calls and not visiting her. May be that will help? Edited December 9, 2014 by David82 Link to post Share on other sites
Author David82 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 @ stillafool, You are right! this is what I was telling my wife, If I will not work how we will manage but she wanted me to next to her all the times and that was not possible. During the summer we decided that we need two cars in the house and I was working my ass off in the summer so I could buy her another car. I did bought another car at the end of August but we separated before I was going to put that car on my wife's name. Yes! she is taking revenge from me and she knows that I love her that's why she wants to testify? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 Christmas is coming soon and I really wanted us to be together on this occasion, I have begged her and cried enough already in front of her. Nothing seems working at this stage and I have decided to go for "No contact period" may be 3-4 weeks I am not recieving her calls and not visiting her. May be that will help? You are doing the right thing by going "no contact". Please, whatever you do don't cry or beg her. This will completely turn her off as women want a strong man. Act indifferent towards her. The way she is acting it should be easier to ignore her sillyness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author David82 Posted December 12, 2014 Author Share Posted December 12, 2014 (edited) You are doing the right thing by going "no contact". Please, whatever you do don't cry or beg her. This will completely turn her off as women want a strong man. Act indifferent towards her. The way she is acting it should be easier to ignore her sillyness. Yes, I agree 100%! "No contact strategy" actually works. Just 2 days ago my wife called me 15 times and I didn't answer later in the evening I received a call from her father's number and he is really sick these days, so I decided to call back and it was my wife who answered and she asked me to come and take the rest of the stuff from the storage. I kept the conversation short with her and today when I went, I took her to a coffee shop. My wife has been checking my facebook profile and my status where I have put some new smiling pictures, She is so curious what is happening with me, why I am happy again and if I have found someone else and where I have been from the last two weeks. She asked me so many questions, I tried to keep the curiosity during the whole conversation and after that she asked me to go with her in our house for the first time after the separation, which is a good sign. She was observing me a lot and I could feel it was the game of nerves. She has given me her number now. She put my stuff back and in the storage room. that guy is not living in the house any more, this is what she told me. She asked me to visit her anytime. I stayed there for couple of hours and then I left and went to work. I cannot trust her so much after what happened between us and about that guy. I will wait and see what happens next. On this weekend probably I will go to her and spend more time with her Edited December 12, 2014 by David82 Link to post Share on other sites
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