Illusion24 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 So lately my spirits are down. I'm usually up and about and feeling like I have control of everything. But lately I feel as if I don't have my life in order and I forget where I am in this world. I've been analyzing my relationship with my bf and it seems I've been a little blind to the fact that I'm not happy. For 8 months I've been convincing myself that everything great, that I have the best bf (which I do believe I do), and that he has everything I want right now, but he doesn't!! WTF, how can I notice now after the damage is done, after I fell in love and so did he. He gives me my space, my time, he gives me strength, makes me feel beautiful but he can't give me stability. I'm not getting any younger and my time is cutting short. I'm only 23 but at the same time damn I'm 23 what am I waiting for. My bf (as you may or may not know) is 19. He made a comment to me that just blew me away. He said "Babe, I hope you know when I turn 21 it's party time..that's all we're going to do". Ummm, NO I'm not maybe you are. When he's 21, I'll be turning 26, my interest are not clubbing their what do I need to do to make money, is my business doing ok, can I pay off some bills, and most of all I want to be in a relationship that's going to offer me stability in the future and now. I don't think our lives are at the same pace but all I do know is that I may have been lying to myself this whole time?? I'm so confused, should I ask for time to myself and see what it is exactly I want and need?? I don't see how he can fulfill my intuition of wanting a family and a stable person by my side. He just started his life, I'm trying to define it. Lately I just feel as if I have no feelings. When I kiss him it feels weird, when I say I love you it seems hesitant, when he says "when we move in together" I think are we??? Don't know maybe some insight would be nice Link to post Share on other sites
justanothersoul Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Just talk to him. Let him know what your feeling and explain to him what it is exactly you want out of the relationship. Do whatever comes natural!! Age shouldn't matter, the love you have for each other is what you need to think about. You made the decision to be with him now these are the consequences of being with someone younger. See what he says about the whole thing Link to post Share on other sites
snoop_dawg22 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Maybe time apart would work. You really seem to love him. Just confused right now. There is no way you'll be happy and confused. Confusion is a B!tch. Maybe let it be known to him exactly what you've posted. He's young though. I think he wants to party and just be young and free. I guess it's true that girls mature faster than guys. I'm single now b/c my ex wasn't sure if he wanted to be "tied" down at this moment in his life. We're both 22. So I had to let him be. Sometimes we have to hurt to do what's best for ourselves. My advice though is to do what will make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 That's the thing..I don't know what makes me happy anymore. Being with him lately is like a reality check, Why be in a relationship that you know in the future it's not going to work? In some ways I am happy and in others I feel depressed. Seriously I feel as if theirs no one out there for me and I'm going to be lonely woman in her 40 with no children...and I'm an only child so I can't even be an aunt!! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
snoop_dawg22 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 I know how you feel. Heck, I'm single and want to be in a relationship. But then I look at how much work it takes and I'm happy just being me. Maybe you should just take some time away and get your head together. You said you in the future the relationship may not work. Well you really don't know that. But if this is making you unhappy you have to do what's best for you. I think maybe you're growing and noticing that the two of you may want different things in life. It's a tuff call that only you can make. But if you really feel that you can't see being w/ him in the future don't waste his or your time any longer than you have to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Illusion24 Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 We got together right after I broke up with my ex of 2 years (which I almost married)...Within a week we were seeing each other and dating...it happened so fast but now that he's moved out of his house and into the dorms all he wants to do is party...And by all means I don't want him to stop his life for me...He needs to experience these things and go out but I don't want to... Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 i think you might have to just bite the bullet with this and realise where this is heading. it seems the two of you, despite how you might feel about each other, are simply at odds with what you want in this point of your lives; ie. he wants to be young and carefree, and you want to be more settled. breaking up might be hard, but its much better than forcing a dead end situation. but keep your head up ! time is on your side. i remember feeling so old and impatient at 23 myself, and when i look back at the "dire" situation its almost cute the two of you should keep your distance, and perhaps you should even start dating other guys (i'm sure he's eyeing other girls; guys at his age are horribly predictable). but most of all, don't rush things; the right guy is out there for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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