FinallyDating Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Does he like me or does he not like me? *paragraphs are the most important, if you don't want to read everything* Alright, I'm new to this forum, and whole "dating" thing. I'm going to try my damnest to make this short. Back in January, I got out of a 7 year relationship with my bf. It's taken alot of soul searching, and self-improvement since then, but I feel like I'm ready to date (maybe not a serious relationship, though). Sooo... there's this guy at work, I'm wondering about. I started this job about a year and 1/2 ago, while I was still in a relationship. He's the typical tall, good-looking, charming, flirtatious male in office. I swear, I have no idea what his job involves. I think he's only hired for the eye-candy. Anywho, when I first started, I noticed his good looks, and his flirtatious personality with all the females. I would roll my eyes, and not pay him attention. Mostly because I was in a relationship, but also because I know these men typically act this way for female attention. He wasn't about to get mine. During the first month there, I would notice him staring at me during meetings, and also stare into my office (I have a glass door). It wasn't like he was gawking, but more like, he would come to my side of the hallway, and pass by my office. I once overheard, outside of my office, a female co-worker catching him do this. I heard, "What are you doing? Do you want her to smile at you or something" and giggles would erupt. Again, I paid him no attention. However, it was cute one day when he came to my office just to tell me a CORNY joke. He blushed so hard, as I gave him a confused look after the pun. Ngl, it was kinda cute. Again, he is so flirty with everyone that I just thought he was trying to add me as one of the many females who fawn over him. Fast forward to January, when I became single. I was seriously a mess. I could not even think of dating anyone else, I just kept thinking how I could get my ex back. I was so pathetic. However, time heals all and by the following month, the daily tears and sporadic breakdowns had stopped. The hot guy from work stopped by my office around March with a lovely Starbucks Frappicino. His words, "I got you this. I never had this flavor, I hope you enjoy it." I was so stunned, like, why did he just do this. Again, I kept reminding myself that this guy just wanted female attention, so I brushed it off to that. He never had my attention before, and I could only imagine that this bugged him, since I was the only one who refused to fall for his charm. But the next week, I did dropped off a bottled water with a thank you note about the frap. My thoughts as expected, he just thanked me for the water, and didn't do anything else. I figured this guy wouldn't ask for my number or anything. The following months I still didn't fawn over him, as I thought that he was not genuinely interested, but just wants attention. I even later found out that he brought another young female coffee (not sure if it was a frap or every bought). *This is already getting kind of long, so I'll trying to get to my point. Fast forward to last week. I recently had to quick my job as I was going back to school (Optometry School) and switched to a part time position in a different section of the building. On my last day, I figured, what the hell, let's make a move. So, I went by his office and exchanged pleasantries with him about random things. The conversation was very nice, it flowed and no awkward silences. As I gave him a hug goodbye, I leaned in and gave him a small peck on the lips. He smiled, kind of turned red (I was probably blushing harder) and said, "Okay." I left his office saying, "I always wanted to do that." *The day was not over yet. This was around 3pm that this happened. Around 5pm, we bumped into each other in the hallway, and I did not make eye contact. He followed me to where I was going (break room) and asked if I wanted to say "goodbye" again. I agreed, and gave him a better peck on the lips this time. He told me, "I just felt like that needed to be done twice like in Europe." I giggled like an idiot, and started walking away. Not even 2 minutes later, we bumped into each other again going the opposite direction, and made eye contact. We both smiled, and as we were both pass each other, we both did the look back at the same time. He then asked if I could follow him. I followed him to his office and we proceeded to make out for a few minutes. OMG DID I NEED THAT. He did try for a feel-sky, but I moved his hand. So, that was last week, and he has stopped by my new cubicle (that side of the building is the same as one of his bosses) and said a quick hi. On Friday, he did stop by for a quick chat but nothing major. *NOW, my question is... is this guy into me? Did he just make out with me for good old adult fun? Will he ask me out? I'm so new to this, so I need help. I'm dying for him to ask for my number. To anyone who will say, "you should ask him out," I don't want to do that, since I already made the first move, and now just waiting for him to ask me out. SOOOOO sorry this was so long, but any advice would be greatly appreciated! Even if he doesn't ask me out, I got to make out with a hot guy, but ever since he stopped by my office on Friday to be friendly, I can't help but be giddy. On a side note, I feel like he's way out of my league. He's so attractive, and I know girls throw himself at him all the time. I'm about 10lb overweight, but have a fun personality. I always made him laugh during meetings. Thank you all! When I'm more comfortable, I'll tell my breakup story to those who are suffering from breakups. It gets better! Promise! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FinallyDating Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Forgot to add, I'm 29, he's 33. Link to post Share on other sites
Danda Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 There is an extremely high chance that he's interested in you but only for sex. How would you feel about that? My advice is that you need to figure that out as soon as possible. I think (?) it is extremely rare for a woman to abruptly kiss a male coworker, without warning or permission, and without even any back and forth flirting or anything. That part of your story genuinely surprised me, like whoa can't believe she did that surprised me. I'm guessing that's probably what he thought, too. (In addition to probably thinking holy **** that was hot and then pursuing you for more of it.) What concerns me is that you did not ask for his permission at all to kiss him like that, and then when you two made out, he did not ask you for permission to start feeling you up. So I guess what concerns me is that the two of you have hormones flying, no real communication (intentions and boundaries) going on, and neither of you seems to think you need permission to touch each other in ways that coworkers do not touch each other. I'm just afraid it could wind up a bit dangerous, I guess. Plus you work together which makes it even more dicey. Just be careful, okay? If you could really use some hot as hell sex in your life right now, he could wind up being a great thing. But please just make sure that is really what you want/need before proceeding. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 he obviously is interested in you.......the thing is with guys or women who get a fair bit of attention.......they really dont need more attention and they arent short of dating opportunities..........so when they show interest its normally genuine....IF.....they are genuine and honest... what concerns me more is guys who vie for attention off a female and take it as a challenge to obtain them like an object......i have had this happen......i try and set them up with others......because thats not the guy i want to go out with i would take it as genuine interest if it were me...the feeling up at work really isnt appropriate though.....so that would be a flag...... what would also be a flag is .......he can feel you up but not ask you out and state plainly his interest in you.......to me that shows signs of a testosterone ridden boy rather than a man with a plan....and a little disrespectful.....men dont disrespect women by putting their professionalism at work in question..so quite a few flags there....my suggestion rock the boat....be direct ask him his intentions towards you...his answer will define his reasoning and honestly define his intentions.....he should come clean .......you have to know what you personally want from him first off....be direct with that as well......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author FinallyDating Posted December 8, 2014 Author Share Posted December 8, 2014 Thank you Danda and ToDreamInBlue! I made sure to add the "feel-sky" part of the story, because I think he probably only sees me as a good time, too. I know a guy is a guy, and hands do move around during kissing episodes, though. I am embarrassed that this happened at work, and it was very unprofessional, but damn, was it HOT. I think he's interested, but just for sex. Although I wouldn't mind having a sex buddy (I've only been with my ex, and I'm sure this guy can teach me some things), I want this guy to see me as a woman of value. So if I can only see him as FWB, then I would rather not see him at all. To you and others (men especially), would he have already asked for my number by now? It's been a week. *shrugs* Link to post Share on other sites
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