me Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Hello, everyone... I have a Qn. I have a bf (for about a year now) - i was really in love with his for a while and i know he loves me back. However, lately I feel like it other guys can distract me easily. I used to think i wanna spend my life with my bf... now i'm thinking of dating around... Now: i'm fine with my own confusion because I'm only 18 and I know i'll work it out once I get more experience, etc. but I really don't want to hurt my bf. I still love him in that sense I guess - it KILLS me to see him in pain or upset. I don't want to break up - maybe my confusion is just a phase. But he is sensing this phase and he is feeling a bit insecure about this relationship. I guess the most logical thing is just to wait and see. I'm very confused about whther i love him or not. We're good friends and sometimes I don't know if i value him as a friend more than as a bf... maybe i'm just attached to him... Lately, I don't get as excited when we fool around... but it still feels really good to just hold him... Sometimes I feel like I have almost a mother-like feeling towards him. Like i worry about him... and look at his silly jokes as just something he'll grow out of......... I'm so confused!... Thank you. Any advice would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishbulb Posted February 26, 2001 Share Posted February 26, 2001 Hello, everyone... I have a Qn. I have a bf (for about a year now) - i was really in love with his for a while and i know he loves me back. However, lately I feel like it other guys can distract me easily. I used to think i wanna spend my life with my bf... now i'm thinking of dating around... Now: i'm fine with my own confusion because I'm only 18 and I know i'll work it out once I get more experience, etc. but I really don't want to hurt my bf. I still love him in that sense I guess - it KILLS me to see him in pain or upset. I don't want to break up - maybe my confusion is just a phase. But he is sensing this phase and he is feeling a bit insecure about this relationship. I guess the most logical thing is just to wait and see. I'm very confused about whther i love him or not. We're good friends and sometimes I don't know if i value him as a friend more than as a bf... maybe i'm just attached to him... Lately, I don't get as excited when we fool around... but it still feels really good to just hold him... Sometimes I feel like I have almost a mother-like feeling towards him. Like i worry about him... and look at his silly jokes as just something he'll grow out of......... I'm so confused!... Thank you. Any advice would be appreciated. Hi, Fishbulb here. At first reading, there seems to be some mixed messages. Maybe you want more out of him, but aren't sure if he's capable (that's why it feels so good just to hold him - holding is intimacy, and requires real comfort with that person...), but see the silly jokes as something (you hope) he'll grow out of... It's VERY hard to go from lovers to friends, especially when you're 18, but you don't need to be someones' mother at this point in your life - especially to someone you're sleeping with (tends to kinda confuse the roles, which will wreak havoc sooner than later, but then I guess that's already begun), and it kind of sounds to me, someone who's been there, that this could slip into some weird kind of codependency REAL easily. If it was me, regardless of my feelings for the person, I would try to do the friends thing (with the right approach...), and if he won't go for that, then take your freedom and go after what you want. You're young, smart, beautiful (just a hunch), and, to be honest, the LAST thing you need right now is an insecure, immature guy. I know this sounds harsh, but I'm just trying to cut thru all the bull that usually accompanies these situations...JMO Fishbulb Link to post Share on other sites
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