Do i stick around while he goes back to her?

[dreamingoftigers]

I came here for advice not for someone to attack me and tell me im not worth someone choosing me for marriage. I've been hurt enough by this so U win ok!!!! I get it she is better than me so thank u for confirming that!!!

 

Sweett.

 

This is your own issue.

Not what elaine said at all.

 

In no way did she attack you or your worth for marriage.

You read that in there yourself.

 

Reread what he said about the relationship and his choice.

 

It seems that you are taking the whole scenario very personally whrn most of the rest of us have seen a cheater/liar with committment and relationship issues try to play you and let you go because HE has issues that you can easily get caught in if you let yourself .

[Sweett]

Sweett.

 

This is your own issue.

Not what elaine said at all.

 

In no way did she attack you or your worth for marriage.

You read that in there yourself.

 

Reread what he said about the relationship and his choice.

 

It seems that you are taking the whole scenario very personally whrn most of the rest of us have seen a cheater/liar with committment and relationship issues try to play you and let you go because HE has issues that you can easily get caught in if you let yourself .

 

Like i said i get it the girl he chose is better than me. I get it. Thanks!!

[dreamingoftigers]

Like i said i get it the girl he chose is better than me. I get it. Thanks!!

 

Er.

 

This is clearly a trigger for you.

 

What's going on for you that you feel that way?

 

Just for the record, none of us know her or you, so even if we had a "Who is Better Contest" which isn't the focus of the thread (or my afternoon); no one would be able to even make a guess.

 

Were you told a lot as a kid "Why can't you be more like so and so?"

 

Sometimes when we ger rejected in favor or someone ekse it can feel like a judgment of our overall worth.

[elaine567]

This guy I speak of in my post was funny and attractive and I wanted him to want me. I felt like someone was showing me attention and this was the best I could do. Before anyone says counseling!! I have been to several, they all say I didn't cause someone to cheat on me and It was more of an issue with him and I should not have let that one occurrence define me...its like I hear this and I should believe it but I don't...I keep blaming myself and selling myself short for men like this

 

You are not defined by this man, he had a whole lot of baggage and decided he was happier dealing with his "baggage" at home than fleeing the nest and going on what may be a scary journey for him, with you.

 

This is nothing to do with YOU per se, this is other people making decisions, they are allowed to do that and you cannot control them. Making a decision is making a decision, he may or may not have made the right decision, but it is his decision, so why beat yourself up about it? He may be the worst decision maker in town, who knows?

YOU need to believe in yourself, not define yourself by what others think. If every woman rejected by a "funny and attractive" man was to curl up and die, women would be a very rare commodity.

He played you, pure and simple and it is probably because he was funny and attractive, he was able to do that. He perhaps makes a habit of it, you dodged a bullet IMO. Do not let him bring you down.

 

I do get that this event has sparked off feelings you had after your last relationship, but at some point you have to let that go and move on, you are not alone there, do not waste your life.

Pick yourself up and DO something now, anything at all, just do not waste one further second being concerned about what he thinks of you, you KNOW you are awesome.