mike212 Posted December 8, 2014 Share Posted December 8, 2014 Wife has been acting strange ever since giving rides to a coworker. She gets out at 3 pm, I get home between 6:30 - 7 pm. Last week three times she called me and told me to pick something up for dinner on the way home because she didn't have time to make something. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 he might be dreary, we do not know, she might be tired of cooking, or on a secret diet, i hope your wife drops him, she ought to be prepared to let him go if it is upsetting you, you have the right to be put first Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 When I brought up that it's been going on for almost four weeks and he should have been able to find another car by now she got all defensive. I had to listen to her go on about how he is trying but he doesn't have a lot of money because he is paying support for four kids Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Let's be as vague as possible here, OP. You have said nothing of which to make any comment upon. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 you know your wife, if she is always kind or aware of the necessity of being pleasant in the workplace just ask her to describe him, see if she looks enthusiastic, what words she uses, her body language some say snooping is wrong, i see efficiency, bug the car if her description worries you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Realist3, Not trying to be vague about anything! I'm 49 my wife is 40, the man she works with is 30. She has been giving him rides for four weeks. They have worked together for 8 years. She has always talked about him, telling me about all of his downfalls in his personal life Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 They have worked together for eight years Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 (edited) Realist3, Not trying to be vague about anything! I'm 49 my wife is 40, the man she works with is 30. She has been giving him rides for four weeks. They have worked together for 8 years. She has always talked about him, telling me about all of his downfalls in his personal life The issue is your wife feels a connection to him and helping him by giving him rides has obviously bonded them and they are too friendly. Has he paid for some of the gas? My guess is no. Even if you ask her, she may not tell you the truth. This has to stop, they are in the getting to know you stage and he's needy, clinging to her and she's liking the extra attention. Chances are, he's flirty with her, pumping up her ego and making her feel special. Have you met him? Why not invite him and his kids for dinner. Watch and see their dynamic, see how comfortable you all are in the same room. Hey if she is friends with him, that should include you as well. Edited December 9, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 (edited) Bug the car. if your wife has been spending alot of time (driving) with a single man, acting strange, saying she is hearing about all his struggles and emotional issues , and her time schedules are changing now with this guy...then you are the best judge if your gut says something is going on with this new guy. She could be starting an emotional affair...or not. Edited December 9, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Any more off topic thread jacks then just take the infractions I handout. Any race posts get an infraction, thanks and carry on 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Witchwayisup, I have met him before, His kids don't live with him, I'm not sure if he even gets to see them now. I know she told me he had trouble with the law and his support payments. You think I should still see if I can get her to have him over for dinner? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 What do you mean by bug the car? Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 What do you mean by bug the car? Place a VAR(voice activated recorder) which you can buy for $50 at Bestbuy, RadioShack or other electronics store. Velcro it under the drivers seat or into steering column. It should record any conversation they have in the car. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Now thats over the top Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Bug the car. if your wife has been spending alot of time (driving) with a single man, acting strange, saying she is hearing about all his struggles and emotional issues , and her time schedules are changing now with this guy...then you are the best judge if your gut says something is going on with this new guy. She could be starting an emotional affair...or not. yeah this is obvious. put a VAR under the passenger seat and see what is really going on. Hopefully it will only be shop-talk. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 It is used all the time because the car is one of the main places a wayward spouse will talk to their affair partner often on a secret cell phone unknown to the betrayed spouse. They will usually talk on the way to work and from work to home. You check it every night, reset it and make sure it is charged. Many a wayward has been caught by this method. The Velcro holds it in place so it doesn't roll out at a stop. It may be over the top but so is infidelity. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Thats what I'm hoping it will be just talking about work, but a part of me thinks there is more Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 I can't check her phone because she has a code and I don't know it, and she never had one before. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Thats what I'm hoping it will be just talking about work, but a part of me thinks there is more 50-100 bucks and the answer is yours in a few days. What could be easier? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 That is really cool, I will pick one up Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 That is really cool, I will pick one up Man I hope for the best. But I'm going to give it to you straight, 9 times out of 10 in threads very similar to this, the outcome is usually always bad. But I really hope it turns out that she's not actually doing anything with this guy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 That is really cool, I will pick one up You have enough red flags, being defensive about her work friend is one, having a code that she keeps from you is a major one, couples with nothing to hide do not keep codes hidden from each other. Trust your gut, if it doesn't feel right it probably isn't. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
sidney2718 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 You have enough red flags, being defensive about her work friend is one, having a code that she keeps from you is a major one, couples with nothing to hide do not keep codes hidden from each other. Trust your gut, if it doesn't feel right it probably isn't. Let me add that he's supporting four kids that don't live with him. It is quite likely that he's been divorced, likely for cheating. Of course it could be the other way around but that's not the way to bet. There's also the problem of the timing. Unless he lives two counties away, one would think that there would be enough time (almost three hours) for her to drive him home and get home herself. Red flags all over the place. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mike212 Posted December 9, 2014 Author Share Posted December 9, 2014 Yeah that was a big one for me because it is only tops 20 minutes out of her way. As for the kids I don't even think there all with the same woman Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 9, 2014 Share Posted December 9, 2014 Yeah that was a big one for me because it is only tops 20 minutes out of her way. As for the kids I don't even think there all with the same woman How long have you been with your wife for? And you said they worked together for 8 years. So it's kind of weird for them to all of a sudden be having an affair now after knowing each other for so many years. Also, has there been any weird signs in your wife before this situation with your wife driving the coworker home? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts