Just friends but I developed feelings - I don't understand dating

[outdooradventurer]

We met in September 2013. We were both starting our first year of University, after just graduating from highschool. We are both 19. We were in my hometown, but she had moved across the country. We had initially started talking on the internet (on Tumblr, if it's relevant). We became friends in real life a couple weeks into the school year. She had moved away from a boy she was in love with, so was getting over him. I was in a weird long distance relationship with someone I had only known for a week before she had to go home.

 

 

I shouldn't have been in that relationship. I know it now and I knew it then. It was a mistake. I wasn't over a girl I had liked for 2 years and been rejected by.

 

 

I was immediately attracted to her, but with our respective situations, I never showed it. I didn't even know if I would have wanted to if I could. I was in a really weird place emotionally. As time progressed, though, I started to like her more, though it still wasn't serious. My LDR ended that October. Life went on.

 

 

This past September I met a bunch of girls I was sort of into, including one who I was seriously into for a couple weeks, but then it all passed and I realized I seriously like the girl I've been talking about. Unfortunately now, after over a year of not really being into anyone, she has started to become interested in a guy in her department. He just got out of a relationship, so she doesn't plan on doing anything about it until at least the new year. On top of that, I just found out that a good friend of hers really liked me last year, and I sort of turned her down, not knowing it was a big deal. So I don't know, that may also be a problem?

 

 

My biggest issue here is that I don't understand this stuff at all. That weird LDR I mentioned is the only relationship of any kind I've ever been in, and I just sort of fell into it. I don't understand how to flirt, I am completely oblivious to people trying to flirt with me. I don't know what to say or do. I am afraid of rejection. I am afraid of messing up our friendship. I am afraid of awkwardness. I just don't know what to do.

[todreaminblue]

the only way i know how to deal with confusion and mixed feelings is to be honest, to take some time to myself to sort out my brain.....not to drag anyone else through confusion with me ....gets messy up there......and no matter how awkward or afraid i am ...i tell a guy if i care......that way i dont have regret about what i do .....even if they do say no...i know a made the right move for me

 

 

i think your confusion needs to be sorted through first before you act....and if you do tell whichever girl you are interested in truly how you feel.....it will involve fear.....but dont do anything until you are clear in mind yourself.and the fear subsides....going in with confusion however is not the way to go.......good luck...deb

[outdooradventurer]

I know that I like this girl now, more than anyone else. Is it better to just reveal my feelings? Or ask her on a date? or what?

[StalwartMind]

It's easy to get lost in a world full of contradictions. You may think you don't know how to flirt, but it's more than likely you've already done so, however you weren't aware of it. I say this because people are attracted to all kinds of different things. Flirting with someone can be done in an endless amount of ways, it's just your imagination that sets the limit.

 

If you like someone, be it a friend or someone you desire more with, then let them know. You do not have to let it all out at once, do what feels natural and comfortable.

 

Don't be afraid if you mess up or there is an awkward moment, nothing in life is perfect and even less is executed flawlessly. You should definitely reveal your feelings and ask her out if you want to. Life is too short to live in regret.