winterlover42 Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 Ok so my boyfriend is out hanging with this girl and her friend tonight. Ive known him for a year and we've been dating for about 5 months now, and i know about this girl. they used to like each other, and i know they still talk but I've seen they're convos and its pretty boring stuff. he doesn't hide a single thing about this girl from me, but they snap chat a lot. he also shows me the snap chats and they're really harmless. I'm a little frustrated cuz i have exams coming up, and he knows that i don't like this girl and its gonna stress me the **** out when they're out together. even as he was leaving i told him i didn't like this, but he said it was harmless. lately i have been over reacting a lot more, but i always pay attention to my gut feeling whether its right or wrong. They snap chat, text, and talk on the phone(lately). Yesterday night hen i called him he says "oh great you called, i was just gonna text you or [this girl] to call me!" so i don't know why I'm being compared to this girl. help. Link to post Share on other sites
Emerald_11 Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 Yeah his comment "I was going to text you or her to call me" is a little weird. Even if he is having harmless & boring conversations and snap chats it is still attention he is giving another girl. I wouldn't like it either! It is a little off that he would still go to hang out with her when he is in a relationship with you AND you told him how you felt about him going & he didn't cancel his plans to respect your feelings. If he must be friends with this person it should be when you are present also or else it seems too much like he is dating someone else. I would just ask him if he is serious about being with you & then why does he expect you to allow him to also carry on a relationship with another girl. I had two exams at school today & some other finals next week at school. Good luck on your exams!! Don't let some guy you are dating distract you from your goals! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author winterlover42 Posted December 10, 2014 Author Share Posted December 10, 2014 yeah it really bothered me. so when i called him, the girl picked up. he usually makes me pick up the phone when were together and someone he doesn't wanna talk to calls. I'm more than FURIOUS. I've never felt so mad like every things sinking in and its taking all my ****ing guts to not drive over to his house and smack him across the face. I'm pretty sad/mad about it. kinda mixed feelings Link to post Share on other sites
Emerald_11 Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 So disrespectful! I'm sorry! You can do better. Just focus on school & getting good grades right now its way more important than putting up with that drama. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sm2281 Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 Ok so my boyfriend is out hanging with this girl and her friend tonight. Ive known him for a year and we've been dating for about 5 months now, and i know about this girl. they used to like each other, and i know they still talk but I've seen they're convos and its pretty boring stuff. he doesn't hide a single thing about this girl from me, but they snap chat a lot. he also shows me the snap chats and they're really harmless. I'm a little frustrated cuz i have exams coming up, and he knows that i don't like this girl and its gonna stress me the **** out when they're out together. even as he was leaving i told him i didn't like this, but he said it was harmless. lately i have been over reacting a lot more, but i always pay attention to my gut feeling whether its right or wrong. They snap chat, text, and talk on the phone(lately). Yesterday night hen i called him he says "oh great you called, i was just gonna text you or [this girl] to call me!" so i don't know why I'm being compared to this girl. help. If he is dating around and doing this -- so can you. I wouldnt be taking it so seriously if you aren't exclusive, and if he were to hang out with another woman (alone) I would be breaking up with him. Ask to go with See what he says. If he is serious about you he wont care if you go or not. are you sure you are exclusive? if not - ask. If you are -- there shouldnt be an issue with you tagging along. Talking is one thing. Hanging out alone with other women is another thing. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 i think he's still got a thing for her. Him telling you he wanted either you or her to call is a red flag. He apparently doesn't care too much about that though; it sounds like he plans to continue hanging out with her regardless of how it makes you feel. Is this other girl single? Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 yeah it really bothered me. so when i called him, the girl picked up. he usually makes me pick up the phone when were together and someone he doesn't wanna talk to calls. I'm more than FURIOUS. I've never felt so mad like every things sinking in and its taking all my ****ing guts to not drive over to his house and smack him across the face. I'm pretty sad/mad about it. kinda mixed feelings In my experience the women who freak out the most over your friends are also the biggest cheaters. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 I'm sorry you find yourself in this yucky situation. He's showing you their boring exchanges. I'm guessing you aren't privy to every single text and communication. So what isn't he showing you? Regardless, he's treating you poorly. He's prioritizing meeting with her over your feelings. Also, since he had you answer his phone whenever he didn't want to speak to someone, having her pick up when you call is disrespectful. Personally, I would be done with him. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 There is no reason for anyone in a relationship to go out with someone of the opposite sex alone. Absolutely no reason. Some people may disagree, but IMO perception is EVERYTHING, it causes drama and leaves too much room for "mistakes". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted December 10, 2014 Share Posted December 10, 2014 (edited) he knows that i don't like this girl and its gonna stress me the **** out This is critical, 5 months in and he's putting your feelings, emotions, and relationship on the back burner for his own amusement. I think you should find a boyfriend that wouldn't add this type of stress to your life. Additionally, while this is actually petty, it does show a lot about his character as a person. Edited December 10, 2014 by Javelin Link to post Share on other sites
Author winterlover42 Posted December 11, 2014 Author Share Posted December 11, 2014 so… are people suggesting i break up with him? id seriously rather work things out but idk. opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Conners Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 I would tell him what you've told us and if he still doesn't respect your feelings, leave him. In saying that, I have male friends who I catch up with from time to time but I don't constantly talk, call or snap them. At the very least your boyfriend should invite you to hang out with her and her friend as a group. Link to post Share on other sites
DbleBetrayal Posted December 11, 2014 Share Posted December 11, 2014 Get rid of him. He is being completely disrespectful. Baloney about that other girl and him just having a platonic friendship. They've probably already boinked. Link to post Share on other sites
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